19. ~Sebastian~

Cas tossed me the package of mozzarella and I caught it, then slapped it down on the kitchen counter.

I spun my knife in my hand and got down to finishing up my portion of the prep for lunch. Currently, slicing the mozzarella.

I shot a look at the fondant balls and the gummy worms that Sky and Caleb had left on the kitchen island when I’d threatened to confiscate them if they didn’t stop shoveling them down right before our meal.

“Can you believe they were gonna eat those for lunch? For their whole meal?”

Cas rolled his eyes as he also concentrated on seasoning the chicken cutlets with pepper and oregano. “It’s an ingrained habit for the both of them, which they’ve both fallen back into while being away from us.”

“Well, I’m gonna get them off that track.” I looked out through the closed patio doors where the two of them were chatting lightheartedly, Sky even smiling at whatever Caleb was saying while he smoked.

“One step at a time, sweetheart. We’re not overwhelming her, remember?”

“She took well to the gifts and that was a risk of being a lot to handle.”

“Those were to remind her of who she is. These other habits are crutches that she obviously feels she needs at the moment. Give it time.” He laid his hand on my shoulder. “Just like what was needed for you to turn things around.”

“Yeah,” I grunted. “I know you’re right, I just don’t like seeing her going through something even remotely similar to what I did. I know how much it hurts, how much it destabilizes and upturns your life.”

“I understand, but our immediate goal is to pull her from her sense of hopelessness.”

I nodded as I finished off with the cheese, then moved on to making the roasted red pepper strips.

She seemed to be coming around, coming back to herself and the woman we all remembered, and reacquainting herself with us.

Just really slowly and incredibly cautiously.

Since that night in the den, five days had gone by and she’d had breakfast and dinner with us each day, but she hadn’t really said much, only really responding to direct questions in our bid to engage her and pull her from her unusually quiet and reserved state.

It seemed like she was still afraid to properly connect with us again, to get too close.

As Cas started cooking the chicken, I smiled, taking in that we were almost done making our Chicken Pesto Panini lunch. Caleb was a fan of flatbread, specifically Focaccia, so he was going to love this. And I’d found out a couple of years back when Caleb and I had ordered pizza when Sky had stayed over at our place after some gaming, that she was a big fan of mozzarella and roasted peppers. And Cas and me? Well, we ate anything, albeit I was on a healthier kick lately as part of my recovery plan.

“Is she still texting that Jeremy fucker?”

“It’s been intermittent since her call with him after I returned her phone to her. Just her reassuring him that she’s fine and him doing the same with her.”

“Nothing mentioned about her mission to take down Jett?”

“No. But out of transparency, which you two insisted on so that we could rebuild her trust in us, I made her aware that I’m monitoring all communications coming in and out of the mansion, so there could be no messages regarding her mission because of that fact, rather than any intent on her part to actually drop it.”

“Fuck,” I muttered.

“It’s also why I’m aware that Caleb is having some trouble at one of his rehabilitation facilities that will require his attention in-person.”

I frowned. “He hasn’t said anything.”

“It’s a sore subject for you and I, the notion of him leaving again.”

“It would only be for a little while this time, though. Nothing like before.”

“Even so, it’s clear he’s worried about upsetting things between us now we’re back on a good path.”

“Are you gonna tell him that you know, that it’s okay with you?”

“No. I’ll let him come to me when he’s ready.”

“Jeez, so much walking on eggshells lately.”

“I agree. Although, I do believe the snail’s pace is a positive thing for you. It’s giving you time to adjust to all these changes, and basically forcing you to take it slow with allowing Skylar close again.”

He had a very good point there. The first time around had been far too much of a crazy fucking whirlwind.

“Yeah,” I murmured.

It wasn’t like it could be any other way at the moment with how Sky was.

We spent the rest of our meal prep keeping to much more lighthearted topics like his burgeoning real estate dealings, his growing interest in the show we’d been watching every night since that last time, how close I was to completing my final project at Luxe, as well as a tour I had coming up soon of Serenity Group.

We were just finishing up plating the meal when the patio doors slid open and Sky and Cal walked back in.

The sound that filled the kitchen had both Cas and me stilling in some major surprise.

Laughing.

Sky was actually laughing.

Caleb winked at us when he saw us notice and recognize how startling it was.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, grinning as her laughter turned to giggles.

She couldn’t speak through it, so Caleb told us. “I was just regaling her with some of my more humorous tales from the last two years.”

“Like you hustling an entire bar at pool by pretending you couldn’t handle your liquor?” I asked. “Or drinking a shitload of frat boys under the table, while really knocking back non-alcoholic beer?”

Cal eyed Cas. “You told him all that? You knew about all that, is the more pertinent question. How invasive was your research? Jesus.”

“Aww, lovely, only my very best for you,” Cas teased.

Caleb went to him and kissed his cheek, nuzzling against him for a moment, before he wrapped his arm around me. “It wasn’t any of that, B.” He grinned out at Sky. “Tell him, darling.”

“It involved him running naked through the city screaming out “I’m the king of the castle AND the dirty rascal!” over and over. It happened to be near the college part of the city and a bunch of frat and sorority students ended up joining in and it caused a massive public spectacle that required police intervention.”

“Wow,” I breathed, eyeing him at my shoulder. “Of course you split just in time before the cops showed up, right?”

“Would you expect anything less from my suave ass?”

Cas was the one laughing then. “I’ve missed this side of you.”

“Well, it is my job to bring the humor.” He gestured at Sky. “Am I right, darling? We need it with these two overly serious and often maudlin fuckers, yeah?”

She looked between us. “Uh uh. Don’t put me in the middle. That’s not a good place to be.”

“Well, that’s not entirely true, is it now?” I put to her with a sly curve of my lips.

A thrill went through me as her cheeks heated in that cute way they sometimes did when things got sexually graphic outside of the bedroom when she wasn’t expecting it. It was a callback to the former version of her before all the tragedy and loss. It was also very real hope, demonstrating that it was still in her, the woman I’d fallen in love with, the woman we wanted with us forevermore, the one we were trying to bring back to us now.

The hope that her reaction had inspired became more than a spark when she moved past the blushing and the surprise of my comment and grinned out at the three of us. “Not in that way, no. That’s definitely the exception.”

That grin was still in place as she took what had become her usual seat at the island and noticeably relaxed, taking everything in with a gleam of excitement, which definitely boded well with the demoralized way she’d been since we’d brought her back here.

Cal whispered at my ear, “Figured I’d try bringing the humor to thaw the ice a little and break through the doom and gloom.”

“Good call.” He smiled as I kissed his cheek, looking so happy with himself.

That didn’t last too long, though, as I took my seat at the kitchen island on Sky’s left side and she settled beside me, Caleb on her right, then said, “Forgot about my excellent hearing, didn’t you, boys?”

Cas pulled up a stool beside Cal and shook his head at the two of us. Shit.

Fortunately, she let it go and focused on the food.

“This looks great.”

“Tastes even better,” I assured her.

Just like you.

I looked her over in her black bootcut pants and matching scoop neck top, even a replica of that studded and embellished blue leather jacket of hers that had been one of her signature pieces of clothing before, another callback to two years ago.

Cas, being the highly-attentive person that he was with those in his inner circle, had ordered her some more clothes in that either closely resembled or precisely matched her go-to items of clothing. He certainly had an eye for detail and, given who he was, he could make a lot of things happen and in very little time. He’d pretty much had the closet in her room outfitted and filled to the brim within forty-eight hours of her being back here.

All of it was evoking memories of back then with her and then slamming up against me taking her recently, having her in my arms, having her all over me, touching, tasting, sinking into one another again.

It had been missing our full connection, though, because she’d been shut down and I’d been on guard, still harboring some ill will and a whole lot of pain. The urge to recapture that properly, to take her again, to fuck like animals, down and dirty, rough, and no holds barred, had been plaguing me ever since.

Holding all of that at bay wasn’t easy.

And with the way it was going, I wasn’t sure how much longer I actually could. There was definitely an expiration date on it.

As we dug in, murmurs and moans of appreciation from Sky and Cal had me and Cas smiling to ourselves. The two of them were enjoying their food so much that they couldn’t talk, instead, intent on savoring every bite.

And as silence fell over the four of us, it was really nice.

Beyond just comfortable silence, something a whole lot more.

It felt so right being together like this.

In this moment in time, it really seemed like it could stay this way. Just the four of us. Close and united. Reveling in each other’s company. Stable and content.

At peace.

“Better than your ridiculously over-sugared junk food, huh?” I asked, when they were finishing up.

“Gummy worms are seriously underrated,” Cal said, defending it, as I’d expected. And then the second thing that I’d expected came out of his mouth, right on cue, really. “Plus, you know they help me sublimate.”

“I thought you two were back on good terms now?” Sky said.

Caleb shrugged. “We are, but Cas has been run off his feet and I’ve got my own work shit too. Plus, there’s also you, darling.”

“Caleb,” Cas grumbled.

I wasn’t in agreement with him grumbling at that. I was glad Caleb had brought it up. I wanted it out there. Fuck, I needed it out there.

“She brought it up,” Caleb said, lightly nudging her.

She nudged him back. “Actually it was Bastian who brought it up.” She flicked my shoulder. “As for me snacking on the fondant balls, it wasn’t just my sweet tooth that was in play. I wanted you to see how much I appreciated you making them for me. I mean, I would’ve done the same with the cupcakes, but those are long gone now. They didn’t stand much of a chance.”

I grasped her wrist, holding her hand to my shoulder as she went to pull away. “I just wanted you to feel more at home.”

“I know you did.” She looked out at Caleb. “And you, salvaging my game, then going so far as to get a massively impressive start on the coding for the sequel… it’s another level. Thank you so much.”

Cal smiled and wrapped his arm around her. “You’re most welcome, darling. To be honest, it was a blast coding the sequel. You’ve got some really good stuff in there. I can’t wait until you get further along with it and we can get back to it together.”

There was a shift there then and she tensed, murmuring, “Yeah.”

I frowned, but before I could speak to it, she turned her attention to Cas.

“Giving me back my phone was a really sweet gesture. What you’ve done for me, reworking public perception after what happened… it’s incredible. Truly.”

“The city is wide open to you and welcoming, love.”

“Just like the three of you have made clear you are with me too. Whatever grudges you’ve held have dissipated. Any distrust and hurt too.” She pulled from us then, got off her stool and strode from the island, shoving her hand through her hair. “Because you’re so intent to keep me here with you, wanting us to return to how we were before, to get back on that track together where we left off with our relationship before it all went to hell.”

“The issues that drove us apart were predominantly external. Those that were internal could have been worked on and resolved with some effort,” Cas told her.

“Agreed,” Cal said.

She shook her head vehemently. “Bringing me in close as one of you destroyed so much for all of us.” She looked right at me. “Especially you, Bastian.”

“Sky—”

“You relapsed because of me!” she yelled. “You suffered because of me!”

“What I did isn’t on you. It’s on me, my choices, my responsibility.”

“No, it was me. I did that to you. If I hadn’t come into your life and—”

“Stop!” I yelled too, bursting off my stool and striding to her in my urgency and the vehemence rolling through me that this was becoming an obstacle to fixing things, to having the woman I loved back with us. “What happened to me, not being able to handle it, was because of me, Sky. Because of the decision I made long before you came along to completely shut down. I told myself at the time that it was the only way through, the only way to handle what was eating me alive back then, the addiction and everything that triggered all of it, losing my dad, being left in that house without his influence and, instead, with my nightmare of a mother and brother. But, really, it was the easy way out and a cop out. By doing that, I wasn’t dealing with any of it. I wasn’t feeling anything. I wasn’t living, just existing.”

I looked out at Caspian and Caleb who were nodding along in agreement.

I zeroed back in on Sky and her rapt attention on what I was saying.

“Then you came along and the pull to you was fucking intense. I couldn’t shake it and it just grew stronger with every fucking time we came into contact. It was the first time that I actually wanted to forgo the whole shut down thing, to actually feel again.” I smiled and took her hand. “You inspired that in me. You brought me back to life, beautiful.” The confession was bittersweet as I had to follow it up with admitting, “And, you’re right, I couldn’t handle it. But that was because of that choice I made to shut down for so long.” I squeezed her hand gently. “I haven’t done that at all these last two years. I’ve remained open. And, yeah, it’s been hard, but it’s also been worth it. And now that you’re back here, it’s even more so. I’m different now, I’m ready for us.”

She pulled her hand from mine. “I’m not. I’m… broken. The things I’ve done… fucked-up things, dark and brutal things…”

“We’re all guilty of that,” Caleb said, coming over, with Caspian remaining on his stool at the breakfast bar looking on in that studious and assessing way of his. What was he picking up on beyond the obvious?

Cal stepped up to my side and told her, “Remember just before we revealed The Jackals to you, what you said to us when Bastian made sure you knew what you were getting yourself into?”

“I don’t—”

I cut off her denial and recited those words to her. Words that were infamous to all three of us.

“I don’t want out. I’ve never belonged anywhere. I’ve always been a loner, through and through. I just never found people who I fit with, who I could connect with, who’d see that messed-up side of me and accept it. But with you guys, you don’t just accept it, you relish it. You want it, you want all of me—the good, the bad, and the twisted.” I eyed her. “That’s what you told us, what you meant with every fucking thing you had. And that kind of thing doesn’t change, Sky. It’s a fundamental fucking element.”

“We’re already well aware of what you’ve done,” Cas spoke.

Her head swung toward him. “You managed to find me, yes, but knowing that? How the—”

“My reach extends beyond the city borders these days.”

“Because of your alliance with Dante Mancini?”

“Partially,” he answered cryptically.

And that was all he was going to do until he was sure she was with us again.

Sure enough, he moved away from her queries and redirected back to the main issue at hand, telling her, “All three of us are aware of every little detail of what you’ve done in your pursuit of Jett. None of us would judge anything like that. We were The Jackals for years, don’t forget. And in the beginning it was wholly brutal and much less restrained. We were out for blood, through and through. It was far more about punishment and pain than justice back then.”

“Yeah, none of that shit is gonna have us turning away or looking at you with disgust,” Cal told her. “Remember what I did to Jett’s guys two years back? I mean, fuck, that was some twisted and fucked-up shit right there.”

I stepped closer to her. “We walk in the dark, Sky. We always have. Being who we are and what comes along with that, we always will in some shape or form.”

“The difference is, we don’t walk it alone,” Cas pointed out. “We bear the load between us so it doesn’t get too heavy. And that’s your issue. Going it alone, love.”

“As well as burying it, rather than talking about it,” Caleb told her. “This isn’t the kind of thing you can just shove down. Believe me, I’m a leading authority on it.” He thumbed me. “And my boy is when it comes to burying everything else.”

I cleared my throat.

“My bad,” he said, holding up his hand. “Was.”

“I did feel like I belonged with you,” Sky actually admitted.

Unfortunately, the biggest breakthrough we’d had with her since she’d returned was severely undermined by her then shaking her head and following it up with, “But I’m not all here right now.”

“Because of your crusade against Jett,” Caleb said.

She nodded. “Just because you brought me here and you’re trying to show me a life and possibilities beyond that, trying to show me that we can also recapture what we had and even build on it and take it even deeper, even the therapy and everything… it won’t make me drop it. All the while he’s out there, it’s tainting everything for me, it’s keeping me at a distance, because I can’t let my humanity in or I won’t be able to do what needs to be done there. I need to end him. It’s not just vengeance as you all seem to think. It’s an absolute necessity.” She looked at Cas. “Your designs for Elijah are just clouding that. Jett doesn’t operate like his brother. You won’t see him coming like you will with Elijah and his big moves. Jett is completely underhanded. I’ve got him on the run now, but that won’t last. He’ll come for me again. He’ll come for anyone I care about—the three of you, my dad, and Jeremy—because in his warped mind that’s what’s keeping us from being together. Not the fact that he’s a genuine psychopath, that he destroyed my life, hurt Bastian, and took my mom from me. He doesn’t operate within reality. And that’s why he’s so incredibly dangerous. You can’t predict his moves and by the time they become apparent, it’ll be too late—just like it was two years ago.”

“As soon as intel comes in with a lock on his location, you’re going to act on it,” Cas said, as a statement, not a question.

“I already lost my last chance when you and Caleb pulled me out and brought me here.”

“Don’t you see what he’s doing?” I asked. “He’s driven you into a state of obsession when it comes to him. Sure, not the way in which he wanted, but it’s still obsession—intense feelings that he’ll believe he can twist around to his liking. Even now with him at a distance, he’s still managing to take you from us, Sky.”

“He’ll take you if I don’t do this, Bastian.”

“You do this and you die,” I bit back. “Caleb told us about your big picture plan to draw Elijah out too.”

“I won’t let the three of you get hurt because of something I’m doing. We’ve all had enough of that. You were kidnapped because of me.”

“I don’t give a fuck about that.”

“I do!”

Caleb frowned and caught my eye, the realization obviously hitting us at the same time. He spoke, managing to vocalize it before I could, “This all-or-nothing approach… that’s why you were insistent on it being a suicide mission… not just out of hopelessness and being in a really bad place… you couldn’t see a way through where you could have us and take out Jett?”

“You’re trying to protect us at the expense of yourself,” I choked out. “You hate yourself for what happened two years ago and this is a shitload of guilt down at the bedrock of it all, and some major overcompensation thinking you could redeem yourself by removing the Bane brothers from our lives, by sparing us.”

“Sorry, darling, it doesn’t work like that with us,” Caleb told her.

Good, brother. Damn fucking straight. “We all make it out of whatever shit we’re embroiled in. There’s no sacrifice play. The only victory that exists is all four of us coming out of a battle. Or, a fucking war, in this case.”

I eyed Cas for some of his words of wisdom to push our points over the edge so she’d really have it driven home to her finally.

He’d been so quiet throughout most of it and that likely meant he was formulating a plan of action. Something we most definitely needed right about now.

Skylar Bennett was so fucking stubborn.

And guarded.

And brave.

And thoughtful.

And caring to those she actually allowed in to see the softer side of her.

And passionate as the fires of hell.

Cas pushed off his stool and strode over. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his casual weekend jeans, he announced, “Give me a few weeks. Stand down until then.”

Her eyes narrowed. “There’s no way I’m simply going to—”

“Until we can do it together.”

“What?” she choked.

Cal and I exchanged a shocked look that matched hers.

“Cas?” I queried.

“Careful,” Cal warned. “Mancini needs to be factored in. This isn’t just your operation.”

“I’m well aware,” Cas responded. Then he laid his hand on Sky’s shoulder and told her, “Things are at a fragile stage regarding the takedown of Elijah. If we move now, it could jeopardize years of work. I can’t allow that. However, within a few weeks, my people and Dante’s will be in position and primed to strike. Then I will be right there by your side with all the resources and support you could possibly ever need to wipe that psychopath from the face of the earth. I’ll even allow you to do the honors and take his life. All I ask are two things of you.” He held up his hand and bent one finger down. “One. You wait. In the meantime, we will develop a tactical plan together that ensures there are no sacrifice plays.” He bent a second finger. “Two. You start rebuilding your life independent of this crusade. We’ve given you the tools through those gifts we delivered to your room. You know how to use them. Now there’s no need for a sacrifice to be made, there should be nothing stopping you.”

Damn, he was good.

“Caspian, I don’t want this ruining what you’ve been working toward all this time.”

“It won’t. If you wait and work with me.”

“No more lone-wolfing it, darling.”

“For the love of God, finally,” I uttered.

She looked between us, weighing up what Cas had put out there, what he was offering.

And then the corner of her mouth turned up and she held out her hand to him. “Let’s do this.”

They shook firmly and he smiled out at her. “Excellent.”

The moment the handshake was done, I was there, wrapping my arms around her.

In the next beat, so was Cal, nuzzling her hair as she buried her face in my chest.

Cas wrapped himself around the three of us, holding us together.

That was definitely his thing.

And he’d proven that yet again just now.

“You’re not alone,” I told Sky.

“Never again,” Caleb said.

“We’re with you, love. Now and always.”

“Thank you,” she choked, emotion bleeding from her.

Thank fuck. She was opening up again, letting us back in.

“I missed you. I missed you all so much.”

That wouldn’t be happening ever again.

She wasn’t going anywhere this time.

No matter what fucking happened.

We wouldn’t lose her again.