Chapter 17

Alicia woke when she felt Devon's lips moving over her back. His tongue darted out over her flesh every now and then. She smiled.

"Well, that's a nice way to wake up," she murmured. And it was. She had never laid about in bed with a lover in this way. There was no deception, no one listening. It was just them. Just like the night they met. Was that why she found him so special? She'd never shared a private moment before Vegas and this was even more precious. Now, they knew where both of them were coming from and there was no lying.

It was if she had been virgin when she went to bed with him.

"I have all kinds of interesting ways to wake you up."

His voice was gruff and deep, filled with arousal.

She looked behind her. He was on his hands and knees on the bed. His hair was a mess and there was a day's growth on his chin. How was it fair that men could look a mess and still be attractive?

"What are you thinking?"

She smiled and turned back around. "I'm wondering who you've been practicing these moves on."

There was a beat of silence and he stilled, then he started moving his mouth over her back again.

"I did not practice on anyone."

"So, you've been celibate since our night?" she asked, actually amused by the banter.

If she wasn't trying to gain some kind of information from a man, she didn't know how to flirt. And, being fair, she couldn't judge him for what he did in their years apart.

"I'm sure this is the first time you've had sex in four years," he said, a bit of sarcasm lacing his words.

She sighed as he started to use his hands along with his mouth. The kitchen counter had been hard on her back.

"It is."

Without warning, he flipped her over onto her back. Then, he loomed over her.

"What do you mean?"

She slipped her hands up over his shoulders. "It's not like I had a lot of time to cruise bars."

And truthfully, she didn't know the first thing about dating. Her first time had been on a mission, the whole thing recorded.

His eyes narrowed. "You have to have a string of lovers."

She frowned. "No. I had targets."

Something she couldn't discern moved over his expression. "So, it's been four years?"

She nodded and felt a shiver of fear and arousal intertwine as it moved through her blood. The dangerous look on his face should scare her, but there was a part of her that found it thrilling. All that attention, focused on her.

"I guess we have to make up for some lost time."

And with that, he kissed his way down her body, grazing his teeth over her flesh. She pushed her present worries out of her mind as she gave herself over to his expert touch.

"I'm starving," Devon said. Ali giggled. Actually giggled. He never thought he would hear such a sound come from the woman. It made him so fucking out happy to hear. "I'm not joking."

"It's not my fault we didn't eat dinner," she said, sitting up and, unfortunately, pulling the sheet up. "You're the one who said he could live on sex."

He chuckled when he remembered his announcement earlier that day. "I'll give you that."

She smiled down at him and in that minute, he knew he was lost to her. Her hair was a tangled mass of curls dripping over her shoulders, her lips were swollen from his kisses, and she had that kind of glow from a good healthy bout of passion.

Shit. He was falling in love with her. Not knee deep, either. He was head first, going under for the third time in love with her. He had to have been in love with her a little that night four years ago, but this was something more.

Her smile dimmed. "What?"

Devon used to be better at hiding his feelings. But something about Ali always tugged at his emotions, pulling them out into the open. He wanted to tell her everything, but he couldn't. They needed time to process, to come to terms with what they were dealing with—and there was a little girl involved.

So, instead, he decided to keep it light. "You know you're kind of ugly, right?"

She laughed. "Is that so?"

He nodded. "You kind of smell too."

She shook her head. "I know when I'm not wanted."

Turning, she started to crawl out of bed, but he grabbed her again, tumbling them over the sheets. He pressed her body into the mattress with his.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked.

"I thought maybe I would find some food."

He sighed as he felt his body respond to her, but he knew she was right. They needed food. He gave her a quick kiss then rolled off her and the bed. He grabbed a t-shirt and tossed it to her.

"Thank you," she said so primly he laughed. "What?"

"Nothing. You are a contradiction in terms. So ladylike and proper now, but I think I have scratches on my back."

Her face flushed and he thought back to what Kaheaku said…and her own confessions. The idea that she had never really dated boggled his mind. This was a new experience for her. And he was the one to give it to her.

He grabbed a pair of boxers and stepped into them. "Let's go see what we can find."

He held his hand out as an invitation. She stared at it as if it was a foreign entity. It took her only a moment longer to respond. She stood and took his hand. It wasn't a huge step, but a significant one. He raised their joined hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles without taking his gaze from hers.

Then, he led her downstairs.

When Alicia polished off her bowl of ice cream, she licked the spoon dry.

"I don't think I've ever been this hungry, except for the last trimester I was pregnant with Bridget."

"You were on your own?" he asked.

"Yes. I didn't have anyone I could call on, so I decided to play the role of single mother."

"And you were one."

Alicia looked up at him and saw the genuine interest in his gaze. She nodded. "It was scary. I had gone to South Africa to have her."

He frowned. "Why there?"

"My mother's family had some land there and it wasn't really tied to us. I have a fake identity I could use. I'm pretty damned good with the accent."

"And no one knew about it?"

She shook her head. "Although about three months after having Bridget, I had to move. I had a few inquiries from someone about who I was. I didn't stick around to find out who it was."

"Smart."

She tried not to get so happy about his approval. "I am my father's daughter."

"So, you looked for me?" he asked. "When you felt you had to run from South Africa?"

"Not then. I'd become paranoid. But when I found out I was pregnant, I did look for you. It's a good thing I didn't find you or I would have never moved back to the states."

"Why?"

"I thought you had something to do with my father's death. I wasn't about to let you within ten feet of Bridget."

"And you didn't think I should know about her?"

She sighed as the emotions from those days washed over her. The panic, the fear…the horror that she was alone in the world.

"I didn't know. I wasn't in my right mind. Pregnancy…it zaps your brain cells. Losing my father shattered me, then knowing I had this little being to protect…I started to understand why my father was so fanatical about my safety. And I had a few close calls while I was pregnant. I tried to hang around Paris, but I barely made it out of there alive."

"And still you didn't come find me."

"If I had known this is who you were, I would have tracked your fertile ass down and demanded you help."

His lips twitched. "Fertile ass?"

"Yes. Bloody hell, I was on the pill and we used a condom. Ending up pregnant was kind of beyond anything statistics could predict. But, not knowing what the hell was going on, I couldn't chance it. Having the attack at my own house…that was over the top. It was the one place I knew we were always safe."

His frown darkened. "And the bastard knew it. Which means he knew you."

She nodded. "I know I can't do anything to make up for the time you lost with Bridget, but I just want you to understand that I had no choice. I didn't know where to turn and I couldn't trust anyone's information."

"What about Kaheaku?"

"Sean?"

He nodded.

"I didn't think of him. No, that's not true. I did think of him, but I had no way of contacting him. When he started working in private contracting, he wasn't the easiest to find. Add to that the threat…I just couldn't involve him. I had a very real fear that anyone connected to me would end up in danger. Sean would be pissed to know that I was trying to protect him, but I had to."

He said nothing for a moment, then he reached out with his hand and cupped her face.

"You're tough, you know that?"

She tried to shake his hand away by moving her face, but he refused.

"No. I want you to know that in any fight, I'd want you at my back. I trust you, but know that you don't have to do this alone anymore. I'm here and there are people who want to help."

Tears stung the backs of her eyes. She blinked trying to keep them from falling, but she failed. He wiped them away with the backs of his fingers, then leaned over to kiss her. It was more sweet than carnal, but it affected her more than any kiss he'd offered her before. In this, she felt his dedication and trust. He pulled back and rested his forehead on hers.

"I owe my sister a big gift."

She smiled. "Why is that?"

"She's the one who talked Micah and me into going to Seattle. As soon as the dust settles, she'll remember and won't shut up about it."

She chuckled and was about to suggest they go back upstairs, but his mobile rang.

"Hey, Conner."

She moved away from him, but he grabbed her hand and kept her standing beside him.

"Shit. Yeah, I know that name."

He was quiet for a few seconds, and took the opportunity to kiss her knuckles.

"When?" Another silence. "I'll see when you get here."

He hung up and looked at her. She knew there was something pretty bloody important if Conner was coming over right away at this time of night.

"Do you know anything about the Spencer File?"

She cocked her head to the side and thought. Then the stories came flooding back to her and she smiled. "Oh, that. It's an urban fantasy."

He didn't smile. "Tell me."

"There was a rumor about a spy who had sold information to some of our enemies. The problem was that it seemed to pop up whenever we had a mission go bad without explanation. I remember early on in my career, we had one big bloody fuck up, but sometimes it is just a coincidence or someone slipped somewhere. So many of us are guarded all the time, but it just takes one little slip—a drunken confession, something like that. So, in the end it isn't true. It's used to scare agents I think."

Devon shook his head. "No. The Spencer File was pretty damned real, because I was the one who discovered it and brought it to the attention of the CIA and MI-6."

"Wait. This went back too many years to be one person. That's why it was always dismissed."

"I had come up with some information, or at least a theory that it was a network of double agents who were recruited by the others already working as a mole."

"But what does that have to do with my father?" she asked. "You're not suggesting that my father was a traitor are you?"

He shook his head. "No. Conner uncovered your father's files. I don't even want to know what laws Maura broke, but they found references to it. That's why he was looking for me. He needed help working on what he wanted to find out."

"Are you telling me my father read your file and wanted to connect with you about that?"

He nodded. "I think so. I also think it's what might have gotten him killed."