29

Chris snuggles close to me and nips my ear.

“A new day, a new dawn,” he whispers. “To battle, woman!”

I laugh, but it really isn’t funny.

“How’s the war going for you? Winning the hearts and minds of the little folk?”

“Atrocious,” he sighs, letting me go and rising from the bed. “The boy, Flynn, told me last night that he was on the naughty list for life and proud of it.”

“Good God,” I smirk, watching as he heads to the shower, leaving the door open so we can continue to talk. “Why?”

“His twin told me she was the good one and he was the bad. That good had to balance evil, and that’s why Flynn would always be naughty.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure you’ve got them the right way around,” I snort, appraising him as he lathers his chest. “I caught Tess trying to wrap one of the kittens last night and slip him under the tree. Luckily, I caught her in time. She was using bubble wrap.”

“Yes,” he rolls his eyes. “She asked me for some treasure. Apparently, she’s under the impression I’m a miner, and she insisted I share my finds.”

“How odd. Roger’s little boy, though…” I start.

“A little cherub,” he nods. “I’ll concede he’s a good one, although he’s only two, so he still has time to turn into a monster and join his cousins on the naughty list. And just when am I supposed to start this list?”

I shrug.

“We have to assume, since it’s almost Christmas, that you’re taking on the top job next year. There’s no way you’d be expected to start without first having spent the year in the North Pole preparing. I’m sure we have another twelve months to help you learn to like kids — and grow a beard.”

“Ugh,” he shakes his head. “No.”

“I heard that if you drink a cup of vinegar every morning and rub opossum shit on your chin your beard will grow down to your knees within a week.”

“Bullshit,” he laughs as he gets out of the shower.

I head in to take his place and he stops me, holding me to his wet chest before I reach the cubicle.

I rest my cheek against his hard pecs, and sigh.

“Keep your sense of humour, Merri,” he whispers. “Everything will work out.”

“I know,” I whisper back.

But I’m really not so sure. I’ve never seen my kids more shocked, confused, and angry with me.