Chapter 40

Once again, Jack was gone from the bed when I woke up, but I could hear the shower running. Grinning, I slipped out of the bed and padded over to the bathroom.

The door was unlocked, so I slid inside, making as little noise as possible. A moment later, I was stepping into the shower as well, reaching for Jack. The second he noticed me, he roamed his gaze over me and reached to pull me under the spray, too.

Hot spray hit me, making me gasp.

"Sorry," he said. "I like it really hot. Want me to turn it down a bit?"

"No, it's okay," I replied. "I like it that hot, too. It's… There's something about knowing you're clean when you get out."

A look of understanding passed between us. We both knew what drove the need to feel that clean, and neither of us had to speak of it.

Moving closer to him, I ran my hands up his smooth chest, feeling the contours of his muscles. I wanted to do more, but I wasn't sure I dared initiate something like that without some kind of signal from him that it was okay.

A moment later, he grabbed the sponge and turned back to me.

"Hold still," he said, the corner of his mouth twitching up.

I exhaled with anticipation as he ran it over my shoulders and down my arms and slowly cleaned me, starting with my limbs. He then took an extra-long time to wash my torso, being careful with my most sensitive areas.

As he finished, I reached to take the sponge and return the offer, but he stayed my hand.

"Although I like the idea, I'm already clean, and I'm supposed to be taking care of my little submissive, remember?" he said. "Time for us to get dressed. I'll screw you more later."

I couldn't speak, part of me wishing it was already later and another part excited about getting involved in more of the band's process. However, I wasn't going to argue with anything Jack said.

We quickly toweled dry and got dressed before Jack took my hand and offered to pick us up some breakfast on the way.

There was no argument from me. Breakfast sounded great, and I was as eager to get back in the studio again as I was to spend more time with Jack.

Although I almost didn't come to New York at all, I was extremely grateful that my agent had accepted the arrangement for me. Of course, if I'd really wanted to refuse, I was sure he'd have let me. But it was harder to argue for not doing something when a plan was already made.

As we stepped out of the main door of the apartment block, Mick and Gerry appeared immediately, and the car pulled up by the sidewalk. Before we could get inside, some men came up carrying large cameras. They quickly snapped shots of me and Jack, his arm around me as we walked to the car.

Immediately Jack growled and sped up. I tried not to react, surprised more than anything else. He quickly bundled me into the car and followed before the car door was shut behind us.

Mick and Gerry got in the front, and then we were off. A moment later, Jack ran his hands through his hair and swore.

"Were they paparazzi?" I asked a moment later.

"Yes. Within hours, those pictures will be all over the internet and in magazines and…" He sighed and shook his head as he trailed off, his hands bunched into fists.

Instantly, I reached for him and tried to help calm him, fear making my words catch in my throat. I couldn't cope with the anger. It was too similar to how Greg had been before he'd eventually taken it out on me.

Jack pulled out of my grasp and shook his head before sliding farther away on the back bench.

I gulped and felt myself shrinking back as well. This wasn't how I'd imagined everything to go. We rode in silence, me not daring to say anything and Jack so angry he was clearly fighting to calm himself down.

Every bit of my body tensed up until my muscles ached, and I was relieved when the car stopped at the side of the road in front of a small diner. I shifted instinctively, expecting us all to get out, but Mick was the only one who did, never opening the door but heading into the diner for us.

I lifted an eyebrow but otherwise didn't move. What was I meant to do? Was Mick fetching us breakfast? Once again, I considered reaching out to Jack, but he was still rigid and staring out the window.

Mick came back out again a minute or so later with a box in his hands. Instead of opening the car door at the back and handing it to Jack, he got in the front, and they lowered the partition.

At first, neither Jack nor I moved, and I looked between the two men, not sure if I should take the box off Mick and rescue him or wait for Jack to do so.

"Want me to keep hold of it until you're at the studio, boss?" Mick asked.

Jack frowned but shook his head and finally shifted to take it off him. I felt myself relax as I exhaled a little, and Jack brought the box back to the section of the car we were in. He dropped it on the seat as Mick gave us our privacy back.

"Dig in. I'm not feeling hungry right now, but you should eat. It's going to be a long day."

"You should probably eat too," I said, gently reaching for the box but not opening it yet. I tried to keep my voice even, but I wasn't sure I'd done a good job.

"No. I'll eat later. I'll be fine." Once again, he turned away from me.

For a moment, I couldn't move. I felt trapped, as if at any moment I could do the wrong thing. As if by not eating at all, he could be aggressive and angry at me for wasting it, and if I did eat, I would potentially face his wrath for doing so without him and being insensitive.

In the end, I chose to try and eat a little, even if I couldn't stomach a lot with the bad atmosphere. I didn't entirely understand Jack's reaction when I'd been seen with him a few times already.

Had it been how much closer we'd appeared? Was it the way it had taken him by surprise? I had no idea, but I tucked into one of the gluten-free breakfast biscuits in the bag and tried to think of something to break the silence.

I was still struggling when we pulled up outside the studio, however.

There were already fans there, although not as many as the evening before, and I froze, only just having finished eating. Jack looked my way, holding out his hand to take mine, but then he saw my face.

"Do you want to wait to go in and get Mick to guide you?" Jack asked as he leaned over and picked up a napkin. He wiped the edge of my mouth and gave me a brief look-over.

"I think I'd rather come with you if that's okay?" I replied, grateful he was being civil even if he wasn't in a great mood.

Without hesitation, he grasped my hand and entwined our fingers. I grabbed the breakfast box, grateful I'd had the sense to close it back up again, and held it between us, cradled against me. It provided something for me to focus on and helped me ignore the crowds as Jack, Mick, and Gerry formed a group and carved a path through the band's screaming horde of fans.

I didn't relax until I was inside, and the door was shut behind us.

I'd made it through the crowds yet again, and it hadn't been so bad it gave me a panic attack.