Chapter 30

Juno

As we finished eating, I exhaled with satisfaction. I was stuffed, and the food had been delicious. I was sandwiched between Alma and another lady named Eve, who hadn't been to London. She was a makeup artist and dating one of the other band members. It was apparently a new thing, and it made me feel a little calmer. If Jack and I had been together, I still wouldn't have been the new girl in the group.

Although Jack was sitting across from Eve and glanced my way often enough that I couldn't ignore him entirely, there hadn't been any more awkwardness. I was still aware of him, and I hoped we could grow more comfortable together at some point, but I didn't doubt it would take time.

If I thought about it too much, I wanted to cry for how quickly he'd decided he didn't want me in his life as anything more than work colleagues, but it was probably for the best. I'd been through so much in the last few months. I wasn't sure I could trust myself around him, either, and I didn't know how much I could trust him.

To distract myself, I asked Alma and Eve about them, listening as they told me about all the celebrities they'd met and whether they'd truly been as they presented themselves to the general public. They soon had me laughing and feeling more relaxed.

With everyone having eaten and the drinks finished, we opted to make our way back to the penthouse apartment to chill before heading to bed earlier than I was expecting.

I'd heard of infamous parties and late-night drinking, and it seemed I wasn't getting that this evening. Not wanting to rock the boat or register any kind of complaint, I headed back to the apartment with everyone else. I found myself in the car with Jack, Eve, and Ed, and I tried not to show the instant tense feeling.

"Is this what every day is like?" I asked, knowing it was a stupid question as soon as it came out of my mouth. Eve grinned and shook her head.

"Enough of them to make it worth doing," Jack replied, rescuing me and answering the question at the same time. "There's a lot of days of rehearsing for gigs, doing promos, and just getting stuff done, but plenty of weeks like this where we just create for a while. They're like this on good days, and there can be a lot of heated conversations on the bad days."

"Like, disagreements and stuff?" I asked, the frankness taking me by surprise.

"Sometimes. Mostly frustration if we can't work out a melody that makes the song come alive, or someone is struggling to play what we need or whatever. We're all in it together, and sometimes we have to figure out how to get everyone on the same page."

I nodded, aware it was a whole different dynamic to writing a novel. I had the final say in everything, even when my editor looked it over and made suggestions. I could decide whether to change something or not, and the skill was all up to me and my use of words.

Eve asked a question next, letting Ed know she had work of her own to do over the next few days and asking how many days we were all planning on working on the song.

It felt a little like they were all talking another language as they used music-related jargon, and Jack and Ed discussed the plan for the next day. They were still discussing parts and which instruments they were thinking of using when the car pulled up outside the apartment block again. Jack immediately sent the driver back out to get some munchies and drinks, and then we all went inside.

Kai, Alma, and the rest of the band arrived at almost the exact same time, and there were too many of us to fit in the elevator at once. I hung back, offering to take the stairs.

Several of them looked at me as if I'd grown two heads, but Jack stepped back as well.

"I'll show you where they are," he said as he let the elevator shut on most of the others. Kai and Alma were also left behind, but both of them clearly intended to wait for the elevator to come back down.

I felt a little silly but equally committed now I'd suggested it. What had I been thinking?

Jack led me past the elevator to a small door set into the wall behind it and used a tag on his keys to open it.

"Thanks," I said, heading toward the stairs I could see. "I assume it goes all the way to the top?"

"Yeah, all twelve floors. You sure you don't want to wait?"

"The exercise will do me good," I replied, catching the scent of his cologne as he held the door open for me. I needed to put some distance between us.

To my surprise, however, he followed me.

"You don't have to come, too," I said as I started to climb.

"Nah, it's okay. I think you're weird, but I've never actually been up them. Might actually do me some good, too." He smiled at me, his deep brown eyes so full of warmth it took all my willpower to look away and keep climbing.

My brain kept trying to think of something to say. No matter what I tried, however, nothing came out.

"Thank you for today," he said a moment later. "You didn't have to open up the way you did. It means a lot to all of us that you could be so vulnerable. I know it's not easy."

"You're welcome," I replied, stunned by his gentleness and appreciation.

No matter what kind of conversation we seemed to be having, Jack kept taking me by surprise, and this was after he'd told me I'd done a good job of painting a picture of him with Hunter. How did I seem to know him so well yet feel so off-balance around him all the time?

I was a writer. I understood people on a level some didn't even understand themselves, yet here I was in front of one of the most mysterious and complicated men I'd ever met.

All of me wanted to get to know him better and figure him out as if he were some great puzzle, but I also knew he was a delicate puzzle, someone I couldn't and would never want to force to open up to me.

"I hope I didn't make the song too dark," I said a moment later, thinking of all the difficult elements that had gone into it.

"Oh, no, it's no darker than it should be. It's tackling a tough subject. It's a beautiful song." He looked at me as we walked up.

I was starting to get a little winded, the numbers on each wall reminding me I wasn't quite halfway there yet. This had been a bad idea.

Beside me, Jack wasn't even slightly out of breath, and he seemed to be loping up the stairs with easy strides, not even needing to hold onto the railing.

"Okay, maybe the elevator would have been a better idea," I said as we reached the seventh floor, and I stopped for a moment. Jack chuckled.

"Twelve floors is a lot more steps than you'd think."

"Sorry," I said, daring to finally look at him properly.

"I didn't have to come with you." He smiled, the corner of his mouth twitching up. I didn't know whether to kiss him, slap him, or do something else entirely.

All my emotions felt confused, so I focused on the steps, counting up the sets of eight and the pairs that made each floor. Sixteen steps per floor and twelve floors. No wonder I was exhausted.

Finally, we reached the top, and I noticed Kai standing on the landing waiting for us.

"None of us could get in," he pointed out. "Not without you and the keys."

Immediately, I felt my cheeks flush. They'd been standing out in the hallway because I'd opted to take the stairs. And it had clearly been enough time for the elevator to go up and down again and fetch the second part of the group.

"Sorry," I mumbled as Jack handed Kai the keys. However, none of them looked my way as they hurried to let everyone in, and Jack left my side to get everyone settled with a drink.

I exhaled, feeling like a total idiot.