5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Belinda

“ I ’m running into town, Mom.”

“Whatcha getting, pumpkin?”

“I wanted to make dinner tonight, and there’s a couple things I need. Plus, I wanted to pick up some other decorations that were a little old up at the ranch.”

“Oh, they’d love that. See you in a bit.”

I grabbed my purse and headed out of the house. I took a deep breath, inhaling the crisp air, and smiled.

Sure, Tahoe was cold, and I had plenty of winter weather there, but it was so different from here. The mountains were familiar, soothing, calming, unlike back there. There was a hint of dirt in the air, maybe from all the casinos in Nevada. Not that I could ever explain that to anyone.

Tahoe wasn’t home and it never would be. It was an escape. And to some degree, a safe haven. But I was glad when my ‘work release’ was up. Or that’s how I looked at it.

I know both mom and grandma were grateful that I was able to help out. I also have no doubt that I could have stayed home and found a solution. It might have been better than the hell the last ten years of my life were, but I did learn from it.

I learned that life outside of Westover wasn’t better.

I learned that not all pretty faces held pretty insides.

I learned that I was a small-town girl and always would be.

And I learned, probably the biggest lesson ever, that my heart was not meant to be given away when it already belonged to someone else.

He just couldn’t know it. Because he would destroy it.

It was evident that he had no feelings anymore and I had to learn to let go as well.

Now that was a tougher lesson, but it’s one I would see through. Like I had every intention of making this date with Bo be the best it could be.

We had common ground and a good friendship, so it wasn’t impossible that a relationship could come of it.

I nodded to myself, pleased with that idea, and headed into the store. I knew I needed some green onion, some chicken, some….some…

“Really, B,” I muttered to myself, pulling the list up on my phone. I only needed a few items, and I couldn’t remember them?

“Talking to yourself is a sign, you know?”

I snapped my head up and glared at the man standing next to me.

“What are you doing here, Chase?”

“Shopping, like you. Mom wanted to make some pies and needed me to hit the store since I was in town. What about you?”

“I’m making dinner.”

“You cook?”

I know I shouldn’t take offense, because his tone didn’t come across harshly, but I still did. And he easily picked up on that. “I’m just asking because you didn’t when you lived here. I remember both Mom and Grandma Betty trying to teach you.”

“Yeah, well, I had to learn.” It was that, or suffer the wrath of my husband, which I couldn’t stand.

“Makes sense. Look, Belinda, I wanted to apologize. I acted like a jerk, and I’m sorry.”

“You’re damn right you did, Chase. It was uncalled for.”

“You’re right, it was. I’m not disputing that. And I am really sorry for it. I promise it won’t happen again. You’re back, and it seems for good. I’d rather be friends than have issues.”

Right, friends. I could do that. It wasn’t hard. We were friends before we started dating. And it wasn’t like I was wanting to date now. Nope. At least not with him.

“Friends,” I told him, holding out my hand for a shake. “We can be friends.”

“So, friends talk. Want to tell me about the scar on your face?”

“Friends don’t get into those kinds of details right away, if ever. Look, Chase, some things are just best not to go over. What happened, happened. It’s my past. I learned from it, and I moved on. No sense in dwelling back there.”

“I’m just saying the woman I knew wouldn’t have stood for that. B, it’s not like you take any kind of abuse. I remember Tony back in high school. You punched him three times into the following week when all he did was grab your arm to keep you from falling. It wasn’t even abuse.”

I chuckled as I recalled that day. I almost got kicked out of school for it because they thought I was fighting. I had to explain, quite a few times, that it was a knee-jerk reaction. That I didn’t mean to hurt him, I just didn’t take kindly to being grabbed. He didn’t know and after I apologized a million times over, the thing was put to rest.

But I also couldn’t explain why I stayed with a man who abused me. It wasn’t like I had a fear of him, because that wasn’t it. In truth, I stayed because I was stupid and used him as a barrier. However, I couldn’t tell Chase that.

Fuck, I couldn’t tell anyone that.

Nothing of that time frame would make sense to anyone, not even my mom and she understood me and my emotions probably better than anyone.

“Some things change, Chase. Not always for the better or for the worse. It just is, what it is.”

“But it’s not your only mark?”

I looked at him, my head cocked to the side. I wanted to walk away, wanted to avoid this. Because, no, the one on my face was not my only one. It’s just the one that was visible. It’s the one that caught anyone’s eye and let’s anyone know what a fool I was.

“Chase, please let it go, it doesn’t matter.”

“Belinda, all I’m trying to do is understand you. Understand what you’ve become. You were never the woman to be a punching bag for anyone and yet, here’s the proof that you were. You left without a word, without an explanation, you got married to some asshole that beat the shit out of you, and then you waltz back into town, as if everything is fine. Well, it’s not fine.”

“Clearly. I can see you still harbor hurt feelings over this. But let me tell you, Chase, I didn’t want to leave, but I had no choice. The same thing I told you ten years ago. It’s not my damn fault that you can’t get over it.

“I did what I had to do, as did you. I did what I could to survive. You don’t need to know my life story because you stopped playing a part in it ten years ago. And Westover is my home, just like it is yours. If you don’t like that I’m back, well go fuck off. You don’t have to see me, and I don’t have to see you.”

I huffed, wanting to punch this man. How dare he keep bringing up what happened ten years ago! I was over it; I can’t keep rehashing it. We weren’t going to date, or get married, so why we broke up just didn’t matter.

“Yeah, I don’t think this friendship is going to work out,” he said.

“I’m with you on that one.”

“Which is even better, because I don’t think I could date this woman that you’ve become. You used to stand out, now you just stand back. You’re not the same bright woman I recall, you’re just a shell.”

“You don’t get to fucking tell me that, Chase! You don’t know my life and you can fuck right on off thinking that you do. You’re right, you wouldn’t want to date me because I sure as hell don’t want to date you. In fact, I’ll be just fine if I never talked to, nor saw you again!”

With that, I turned my back on him, willing the hurt to go away.

I had to be done with Chase Montgomery. I had to remember that the night I left was the night our love died.

And I had to remember that nothing could ever come of that.

I was cutting him off and cutting him out.

Chase Montgomery was out of my heart, for good.