13. Zoe

13

ZOE

As I drove through the downtown Arts District, the midday sun hung in the center of the robin's egg blue sky, surrounded by fluffy white clouds. Birds chirped, and a light breeze blew through the weeping willow trees. It was the perfect day to plan a wedding, and that's exactly what was on the agenda. I was looking forward to putting my life and all its responsibilities on the back burner.

Since Miles had shown up on my doorstep, he'd been a permanent fixture in my thoughts. I couldn't seem to evict him from my mind. Whether I was conscious or not. After seeing him in his boxer briefs a week ago, I'd started having very explicit dreams about him. Dreams where I showed up to his room at the boarding house and instead of putting on his jeans, he pulled me into his room and…

No , I shook my head.

I had to stop my dirty thoughts. These past two weeks had been an emotional roller coaster, and it was time to get off the ride. Today was all about Daphne.

Although Daphne was one of the newest members of our found sisterhood, she'd slotted right in. We all naturally found our niches in the group, and we just gelled. Nadia was the funny, sarcastic friend who said what everyone was thinking. I was the dependable, nurturing, caring mom of the group, which made sense because I was a mom. Ashley was the fashionable, cool, ‘fun' aunt. Which also rang true since she was an aunt and was very fun with impeccable style and had just graduated with an art degree. And Daphne was the smart, organized planner of the group. She'd worked for nearly a decade in television as a producer, and she now runs her family business, Moore Farm Moonshine, with her aunt, as well as freelancing as a marketing specialist.

The latest Sabrina Carpenter song was blasting through the speakers as I pulled up in front of the Dreamy Bean Coffee and Book Cafe. My console lit up, and I saw that AJ was calling. Since he was at school, I figured he must have forgotten his homework or something he needed me to bring him before his practice.

"Hey," I answered.

"Mom! Kendall is auditioning to be you!"

"What?" I stared at the console as if that would give me any answers.

"For the movie! She's auditioning to play the younger version of you. She said they want a local hire. Can I audition to play Dad?"

"Um…" I had no idea what he was talking about.

My confusion cleared like the foggy glass of my bathroom mirror when I pointed my hair dryer at it, and I saw everything clearly. Of course, I was going to be a character in the movie. Why hadn't I considered that? For someone who considered herself fairly bright, I could be a real idiot sometimes.

Over the past week, I'd had two conversations with Andy and Shania that both lasted over two hours. They'd asked me all about the ‘honey pot' story and about Austin and me and our relationship. They'd sent me follow-up questions, and I'd responded to all of them. During that entire time, it never occurred to me that I'd be included in the narrative. How had it not even dawned on me that I was going to be part of Austin's story?

My chest felt tight, and my stomach dropped. The first person I thought of was Miles. I wanted to call him. To talk to him. Not just because it was about the movie, but because I missed him and he was the person who I knew would make me feel better, which was insane . Like actually certifiable. Straitjacket time.

"We'll talk about it later, AJ."

"Mom, he was my dad."

"I know. But you're not an actor."

"But can't I at least try? That's all I want. I just want to try."

AJ knew the way to get me to say yes to something. Even before his diagnosis of dyslexia, I always told him that he at least had to try, even if he didn't think he could do something. Just try.

"We'll talk about it tonight."

He sighed. "Fine."

The call disconnected, and I took two breaths. This whole thing suddenly felt like a runaway train. If I wasn't running late, as usual, I would have the time to pull myself together, but since I was, I didn't. I'd have to deal with this later.

Today was about Daphne, not me, and my train wreck life.

After taking one more deep breath, I got out of my car, locked it, and walked through the glass door etched with a coffee mug and steam coming out of it in the center. A bell dinged overhead. There was soft pop music playing, people chatting, and others typing on computers. I looked around and felt a little bit at ease. I'd always loved the décor at The Dreamy Bean. The ceilings were twenty feet high. One wall was exposed brick, and the opposite was a floor-to-ceiling bookcase. Farm tables and cozy couches created a homey and inviting atmosphere.

From behind the counter wrapped in distressed wood with large black pendant lights dangling from the ceiling, Marion Felton greeted me. "Well, hello, beautiful. How are you doing?"

"Good, how are you?"

"Just fine. You want your regular?"

"Please."

A knowing grin appeared on Marion's face as she went about making my regular order, and I braced myself for what I knew was coming.

"Soooo, I heard you stopped by and saw Mr. Miles Ford at the boarding house."

Yep. There it was.

Marion was the twelfth person to ask me about my visit to see Miles this week. Firefly was notorious for gossip spreading so fast that by the time you finish sneezing, a person across town would offer you a tissue, but this was getting ridiculous.

"We needed to discuss the movie," I explained for the dozenth time.

"Oh, right." She nodded, clearly not believing my version of events.

Everyone seemed to think there was something going on between myself and Miles Ford, which was absurd. He was a movie star. A sex symbol. I was a single mom who lived in scrubs from a small town, and this wasn't a Lifetime Christmas movie.

"Your girls are in the back." Marion tilted her head as she handed me my vanilla matcha with cold foam.

"Thanks." I tapped my card against the reader.

Typically, when I came and grabbed brunch with the ladies, we sat outside on the patio in the bistro-style table and chairs, but today, we opted for indoor seating because although it was a clear, beautiful day, the temperature was in the low sixties.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late," I apologized as I took my place on the bench beside Ashley. She grabbed her purse and placed it on the other side of her lap to make room.

"No worries; Ashley was just telling us about her new job." Daphne held her hand out to Ashley, giving her the floor.

"Oh, did you get it?" I remembered her saying that she was applying for something on the night the girls took me out after it was announced that Miles was going to be playing Austin. That felt like so long ago. So much has happened since then.

"I have another interview next week. It's not exactly in my field. It's in fashion…sort of."

Ashley had recently graduated from college with a degree in art. I wasn't completely sure what one did with an art degree. She taught an art program for kids; she loved it, and they loved her. I just assumed she'd go on to teach or work in a gallery or something.

"I didn't know you were interested in fashion," Nadia voiced what I'd just thought. "I mean, I know you're always wearing incredible clothes. You are definitely the ‘Carrie' of our group. But I didn't know that you wanted to make that your career."

"If she's the Carrie, who am I?" I asked, wondering when we'd handed out our Sex in the City characters and why I wasn't consulted.

"Charlotte," all three women replied without any hesitation.

I pointed to Nadia. "So that makes you?—"

"Samantha," they all parroted.

"Obviously," Nadia added.

"And I'm Miranda," Daphne held up her hand. "It's sort of by default, but I'm not mad at it."

"When was this decided?" I asked.

"We've never talked about it before," Nadia explained as she sipped her vanilla matcha espresso double shot fusion. "It just goes without saying."

"Oh, okay." I guess she was right. I hadn't thought about it, but it made sense. I turned back to Ashley. "Sorry, go ahead. Your new job is in fashion, not art?"

"Sort of. It's hard to explain, anyway, I love art, and for a while, I thought that I was going to teach, which I still plan on doing. However, an opportunity came up to apply for a…I guess you could call it a paid internship, and I decided to apply. It's not what I expected, but I will say it is bringing out the competitive side of me."

There was a spark of something I'd never seen in Ashley's eyes before when she talked about the job. It was a fire. A determination.

"And what about the Married by the Matchmaker show? Have you heard back from them?"

Her face lit up. "Oh, yeah, I have, actually. I got to the second round. I have a phone interview in a few weeks." She turned to Daphne. "But enough about me. We're here to plan a wedding."

We all shifted our attention to Daphne and found her eyes trained on me. "First, on the agenda, I think we need to have an update on all things Miles Ford."

"That's right. What was Miles Happy Trails Hottie Ford talking to you about on the deck at the pizza parlor?" Nadia demanded. "And what were you doing in his room at the boarding house for an hour?"

"Are you seriously going to call him that every time you refer to him?" I asked again.

"Yes." She nodded solemnly.

I sighed and was actually surprised that she'd waited this long to ask me about it. When I left the pizza parlor with AJ, I was sure my phone was going to blow up with questions, but it hadn't. And all week, I'd been waiting for her to show up at my house and camp out on my porch until I told her everything, but she hadn't. I was impressed with the amount of restraint she'd shown. "First of all, I wasn't in his room for an hour. I was there for five minutes. And I was there because, Miles informed me at the pizza parlor, that he had purchased the movie rights, and that he wouldn't proceed with its production without my approval."

All three of the women gawked at me.

"What?" I asked the group at large.

"That's so…"

"Romantic," Ashley sighed.

"I don't think…it's not romantic. He just…it's not…" I felt myself stumbling over my words. "I think he's a good guy, and he just…has morals."

"That's rare in the industry," Daphne commented as she sipped her coffee.

She'd worked as a producer for an entertainment TV show for eight years, so she would know.

"That's rare anywhere," Nadia chimed in.

"So, what did you say?" Ashley questioned. "Did you give him an answer?"

"I thought about it, and I decided it shouldn't be up to just me. I thought that Walter and AJ should have a say in it. AJ was all for it, and I tried to get Walter to vote, but he wouldn't, so in the end both AJ and I voted yes. Walter wanted the movie made, but he didn't want to do it if it was going to upset me. Anyway, that's why I went to see Miles. I had to tell him my decision."

Nadia's forehead creased as her brows furrowed. "If you said yes, why do you look like you're about to puke?"

"Because right before I came in here, AJ called and said that Kendall is auditioning to play the younger version of me, and he wants to audition to play the younger version of his dad."

The table erupted in talk of how sweet and amazing he was going to be.

"Wait," Nadia was the first to see that I wasn't happy about it. "You didn't realize that you were going to be in the movie, did you?"

"No. I know that's stupid, but I didn't."

"Okay, well. This is not the end of the world. And we've got you. The truth is, they can't really have a movie about Austin and not have you in it. You are a part of him. The biggest part of him. So…" Nadia leaned across the table and held out her hand. I put my hand in hers as Ashley put her arm around me, and Daphne put her hands over mine and Nadia's. "We'll get through this together. You're not alone."

I nodded and knew that no matter what feelings came up, they would be like waves. They'd come and go, and I wouldn't have to ride them alone. I had my sisters. They may not be blood, but they were family. My family.

And then there was Miles. Even though I was sitting with my greatest support system, I wanted to be with him. All week, I'd had to stop myself from picking up the phone and calling him. From texting him. For some reason, I trusted him and believed he'd be there for me. I'd never felt so connected to another person or trusted someone like I trusted him. He was an actor. This could all be fake. What I was feeling was just a crush. It had to be. But it felt real. More real than anything I'd felt in a long time.