XVII

"L et's try one last time."

Nova glared at River. "You said that about the last one," she accused. "And the one before that."

"Stella? Do you want to go once more, or stop?"

Stella eyed both women over the top of her water bottle. A hint of peach spiked the water from the addition of a few drops of potion that soothed her vocal cords. Stella savored the subtle cooling effect on her throat. She tried not to use it too often, lest it lose its potency like so many other remedies had from her overuse.

"One more time," Stella wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and set down the bottle. "I think I might be starting to see my song's refraction."

Nova smirked as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh yea? You finally understand River's whole science of magic explanation?"

"It's not that I didn't before. She made perfect sense. I just couldn't see what she was talking about, and now I think I can."

"Thank you, Stella," River mimicked Nova's stance and stuck her nose up in the air. "I thought my boiling water analogy worked perfectly too."

Nova rolled her eyes. "Yea, yea. You're a genius, kid. Can we move things along? I'm not a fan of being the guinea pig for your enchantress magic." Stella noticed the light dim from Nova's eyes and swallowed tightly. "Also, pick something else to sing, would you? That nursery rhyme starts to get morose after the first couple of times, and only worse after that."

"What's wrong with ‘It's raining, it's pouring?'"

Nova, who'd already begun to walk to the opposite side of the room stopped and cast Stella an incredulous look. "The old guy dies. He doesn't wake up—the rhyme literally says so."

"Oh." Stella straightened some as she ran over the lyrics in her head. She paled. " Oh ."

You idiot , she scolded herself. You've been practicing your immobilization powers with a song about death to your best friend who's going to die . Anxiety roiled through Stella as she passed Nova her own accusatory glare. "Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"Whoa," River intervened, standing between them with her hands raised in supplication. She eyed Stella questioningly. "There's no need to get wound up about it. Just change the song. Okay?"

Nova's sights narrowed on Stella behind River's back. The look in her eyes was clear: don't say a word—or else.

"Okay, sure. A new song. I can pick a new song," Stella rambled. River nodded warily, her furrowed brow still in place. "I'll do Humpty Dumpty—no," she hastily corrected. "The Itsy Bitsy Spider? Nobody dies in that, right?"

"Spiders freak me out," Nova said.

"Me too," River agreed.

Stella's mouth fell open in disbelief. "Really? Okay… Mary, Mary Quite Contrary?"

"Definitely not that one," River was quick to say. "The story behind it is dark . Oh, I know, why don't you do The Wise Old Owl! I love that one. My great grandmother used to say it to me and my brother, West, when we were kids. I'm pretty sure she only did it to make us be quiet, but I still like it."

Stella grimaced. "I don't know it."

"It's only 4 lines! Just recite it a few times after me, and then you can go into your meditation and concentrate on opening your mind's eye to see the magical vibrations cast by your voice." Stella didn't get a chance to protest before River went on. "The rhyme goes like this:

" A wise old owl lived in an oak

The more he saw the less he spoke

The less he spoke the more he heard

Why can't we all be like that wise old bird? " River recited proudly. "Now you!"

Stella's lips thinned. She wouldn't classify the rhyme as cheerful by any means, but she did as she was told, practicing the words, then going into her meditative state with long deep breaths.

As her heartbeat slowed, she envisioned the waves of her voice mixing with air. Each note bending the light waves present all around them in different refractions. It was like trying to catch rays of light through a glass of water.

The trick of it all was to direct her voice to her intended target and only her target. More than once that evening she'd immobilized both River and Nova, instead of Nova alone. She was, however, getting better with each pass. On her last attempt she glimpsed the air ripple from her magical song. A flutter of anticipation rode through her veins.

She just needed to catch the right light to see it.

Stella opened her eyes and locked her sights on Nova. She stood at the far end of the room, posture relaxed as she picked up a lacrosse ball and tossed it between her hands. River gave Stella a nod to begin after picking up a tarot deck and beginning to shuffle it. They'd know whether Stella's song was too potent if both women froze while attending to their objects.

" A wise old owl lived in an oak

The more he saw the less he spoke

The less he spoke the more he heard

Why can't we all be like that wise old bird? "

Stella sang the rhyme in soft, dulcet tones once through and then began again more with intent. Unlike her sonic scream, no flames of heat ensnared her lungs. Quite the opposite occurred. As Stella sang a brittle frost into her lungs. The world around her condensed as she homed in on Nova and allowed herself to sink deeper into her power.

There was no refraction, not a first. But as Stella moved in a wide arc to half circle Nova, she caught glimpses. Unfortunately, she couldn't hold onto them.

"Concentrate, Stella," River coached with equal softness.

Stella maneuvered around a long table that had been pushed toward the side of the room. A cold sweat kissed the back of her neck as she navigated around the piece of furniture and held her focus. Pleasure spiked through her as Nova remained completely still, the lacrosse ball tumbling from her frozen fingertips. Then Stella glanced into Nova's eyes and froze herself.

A muted terror raged behind her brown eyes. It resonated powerfully through Stella, shattering the frost-like permeation of her magic. Nova gasped and wavered on her feet as Stella's enchantment broke.

"Why'd you stop?" River asked immediately. "You were doing so well—that was your best one yet! Every time that table has tripped you up, or a chair." River left no time for Stella to answer. "What about the refractions? Did you see any?"

"I… I just got tired suddenly. A little dizzy," Stella lied. River set her deck down and came over to her side.

"Sit," she insisted. "You can have some of my water. Nova, how are you doing?"

"Same as every time: disoriented." Nova shook out her arms and rolled her neck. "That experience doesn't get any less unsettling the more you do it."

River returned with a fresh water bottle, passing it to Stella after taking a sip herself.

"Next time we do voice work, I'll ask Deval to fill in."

Nova shook her head at Stella's suggestion as she joined them. "And take credit for honing you into the most formidable weapon this court has seen? Think again. Besides, I want to see this through to the end. "It would mean a lot to me to know you can take care of yourself," she added with care.

"That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard you say," River said with a mixture of awe and shock before a cheeky grin split her lips. "Don't worry, I won't tell Ruby."

Nova scoffed. "Thanks. We're all done here, right?"

"Yes," River said after looking to Stella for confirmation. "I'd rather not push Stella's voice too hard if we don't have too, and she did say she was tired. Are you still feeling dizzy?"

"I'm better now."

Stella gave River a short smile and then sent it Nova's way. She expertly avoided meeting her eye. It made Stella's stomach sink, watching as Nova tamed her expression into bland neutrality.

"Want to have breakfast together?" River asked Stella. "This one has plans for the rest of the evening to get to. Ruby guilted her into hanging out with her and Jax for the night."

"She didn't guilt me."

River made a noise of disbelief caught somewhere between a laugh and a scoff. "You can't stand Jax!" she protested.

"I can stand him," Nova defended. "In doses," she corrected aptly. "Small doses, but doses. Ruby will be the buffer, and it will all be fine."

"Sure. Whatever you say," River conceded with a good-natured chuckle. Faded pink washed Nova's cheeks. The show of emotion raised Stella's eyebrows, but River seemed clueless as Nova put on a wry smile.

"I'm hanging out with them because it will make Ruby happy . She wants us to get along, so I'm trying." Nova paused, a small gleam of mischief entering her eyes. " That's the sweetest thing I've ever said. I'll see you two around. Let me know when we're practicing again."

"Later!" River called as Nova quickly made her exit, again never quite meeting Stella's eyes. "So, breakfast?"

Stella managed a nod and another small smile to placate River, shoving away the tide of guilt that ravaged her insides. She hated being the only one to know about Nova's fate, but she couldn't find it in herself to dishonor her wishes.

Nova will tell Ruby , Stella reassured herself as she stood. She doesn't know how much time left she has... she has too.

There were a few items to clean up and take back with them to the Vranas. A few books and some potions in case of banshee-induced headaches, and the lacrosse ball. Stella gave the room a once-over. The large training room located behind the pits was her usual haunt for practice. However, when it came to her power of immobilization, they chose a more discreet location.

One where the chances of her ‘enchanting' someone—as Nova liked to call it—was greatly reduced.

The room they occupied was generous in size, and thankfully dust free because of River's frequent visits to practice magic. A happy humming reached Stella's ears, she glanced at River. As if sensing her attention, she looked over her shoulder at Stella. Her humming stopped and River grinned.

"Ready?" River slipped a messenger bag over her shoulder, the potion bottles inside rattling gently.

Stella forced herself to relax and grabbed the books that remained plus the ball. She cleared her throat. "You're in a happy mood."

"I am," River agreed as they exited. Voices greeted them from down the hall. "I'm cautiously optimistic about my little… problem. I think I may have found a solution—a real one. I just need to double check a few things before moving forward."

"That's amazing, River," Stella exclaimed as they entered the throng of courtiers ascending from the fourth subfloor via the grand staircase.

River flushed with pleasure. "Actually... I was sort of hoping you might help me when the time comes."

"Me?" It was Stella's turn to blush. "Of course," she all but stammered. "You've helped me so much since coming here. I'll help you in any way I can."

They climbed flight after flight in comfortable silence until they reached the first floor. River led the way confidently to the Vranas' front door, but Stella found her feet dragging as they neared.

"Um, River? Could I ask you for a favor before we go inside."

River stopped a few feet shy of the door. "Sure. What is it?"

"You know how I've been, er, trying to help out with everything?" River nodded. "Well, tonight—"

A gasp erupted from River. " You're going to do it tonight? "

"No, I mean, maybe! Just—just let me get it out, okay?"

"Sorry," River's flush darkened to embarrassment. "Tonight, you're…"

"Going to a ball."

Confusion flitted across River's face as Stella let silence trail after her announcement. "Like, for a job?"

Stella shook her head, swallowing down the strange fluttering that wound its way around her stomach. "No… like as a date." River's lips parted to form a perfect O. "Raphael's date."

"That's, um," River's confusion gave way to a hopeful expression as she digested the information. "That's great. This is… this is good, Stella. What can I help you with? Do you need an outfit?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Probably." Stella crossed the small distance between them and lowered her voice. "What I need help with is how to be, you know ."

River's eyes widened. "Why are you cringing?"

"I'm smiling—like sexy smiling. Right?" Stella tried again, but even she could tell how awkward she was coming across. She groaned. "Gods have mercy, I've never gone to an event as someone's date. And I know this isn't a real date, obviously, but." Stella took a breath and slowed her speech. "I'm not going to make something out of this that it's not, but I also don't—" the words died on Stella's tongue as she failed to find the words to express herself "—I don't know. Never mind. Forget I even asked and let's just eat."

"I think I might know what you're trying to get at." River placed both hands on her shoulders. "I can't help you," she told her somberly. Stella's heart sank. "But I know exactly who can."

Stella couldn't believe the woman staring back at her in the mirror was her own reflection. She twisted to the side, dissecting the simple cut of the dress and how nice it felt against her skin. Briar appeared behind her in the mirror's surface. Her head tilted slightly to the side.

"It's a tad big on you, but the overall effect is delicious."

Stella smoothed the silken fabric across her abdomen. The cowl neck, cut a touch too low for her comfort, didn't move thanks to the fabric tape Irina applied.

"I never would have thought I could pull this lipstick color off." Stella leaned closer to the mirror. Her fingertips reached up to graze her painted lips that sparkled like the night sky and were just as dark. "Glitter lipstick is— ouch! " Stella jerked her hand to her chest protectively after it received a stinging rebuke for getting too close to her mouth.

"It's prone to smudging and transferring before it's set. Don't touch it," Irina scolded.

"Sorry."

Briar's groan nearly drowned out Stella's apology. Her eyes widened as the red-haired beauty stormed over to the little table playing host to a bottle of blut wein and a couple of empty champagne flutes.

"If I hear another apology come out of your mouth, I'm going to go insane," Briar fumed as she poured herself a glass. Stella bit her tongue to keep from apologizing again. "It's as if you've retained nothing of what we've discussed for the past three hours— do not touch your hair or so help me, Stella," Briar warned. "I will not watch you ruin those perfect finger waves."

A cold hand patted Stella's shoulder. "I'd offer you a seat, but the silk will wrinkle." Irina smirked a little at her as she swept her hand off Stella's shoulder and sashayed to the little table. They were in Irina's dressing room, which also happened to be as big as Stella's living quarters.

Briar snapped her fingers in the air. "Well? Have you managed to keep any of what we've said in your head?"

Doubt rose inside Stella. She might look the part, but feel it? Stella swallowed thickly. Her plan was a fool's errand. Gain Raphael's trust then trick him and steal his blood? While also learning how to thrive in the Dark Court of all places?

How could she have ever thought to be something other than everyone's worst nightmare? Even Nova can't look me in the eye for long . Stella swallowed again. She was suddenly dying for a sip of rhodiola—

"Stop that!" Briar cried. "Dear Gods, woman. Please, make a little effort to get out of your own head. It's tiresome watching whatever battle you're waging up there. You're worse than she was—" Briar jerked her chin in Irina's direction "—when I taught her."

Irina scoffed and poured herself a glass. "I wasn't that bad. No offense, Stella," Irina said, sipping her blut wein as she moseyed to the other side of the closet. She eyed Briar with half lidded eyes. "I dare say the student has surpassed the teacher now anyway."

Briar huffed. "Well, you've cheated, haven't you? You're part demoness of desire now." Briar flicked her hair over her shoulder before righting her gaze to Stella. "I'll have you know that when she entered the court, her personality fell somewhere between shrew and impetuous little brat. It was all well and fun to watch, mind you, but after our session she found her footing." Briar's nails tapped along her glass. "What I'm trying to say is, if I can knock some sense into her, I can for you too."

" We can."

Briar waved away Irina's correction, eyes still glued on Stella. "What is it that has you so stuck then? We want you fashionably late to this party, not to miss it—and since you walk like a newborn fawn in those heels…"

Stella wanted to clench her fists at the astute observation, but the coffin nails pressed onto her fingernails earlier stunted the action. She sighed, shoulders hunching forward as doubt seeped in further.

"Posture." Briar clicked her tongue in reprimand. "You'll never gain respect if you constantly look like you're ducking for cover."

"I'll never gain respect period ," Stella surprised herself by snapping back. Briar's expression changed slowly before Stella's eyes. "I'm sor—"

"Apologize and I'll slit your throat," Briar eyes narrowed in calculation. "You've got a bit of a viper's tongue, don't you?" Briar murmured in appreciation. "Forget everything else we've said on how to act—except for the bits about your posture and angles—that's timeless—and be that girl."

Stella's brow crinkled. "What girl?"

"The little viperous one with the quick tongue. Be you."

A startled noise jumped out of Stella's mouth. She shook her head and took a step back. "That's not me."

"Isn't it?"

Stella's lips parted askance, but she had no retort for Briar's innocuous inquiry. She'd never characterize herself as being viperous… but she did know how to yield her words to cut to the quick of things if provoked. Around good friends she also showed her cheeky side more freely.

But viperous?

You could be , a voice whispered in her head, if you weren't too busy being afraid all the time . Stella ducked her head as she came to blows with herself.

"You came to us for advice, didn't you?" Briar demanded. Stella tilted her gaze up to meet hers and a jolt of fire ran through her at the frustration she saw. "Why are you so afraid of letting go? Why are you so afraid of surrendering to who you're clearly capable of being?"

" Briar ," Irina warned as the vampyré stalked over to Stella.

"What are you really afraid of? Their opinions? They only matter if you let them." Briar stopped a few feet short of Stella and cocked a hip to place her hand on. "The world isn't going to end if you decide to change, Stella."

Blood rushed to her face. "I know that." Briar lifted an eyebrow in clear disbelief, causing Stella to bristle further. "But I could die. Someone could take offense and—"

Briar barked out a laugh. "Don't be so melodramatic. Honestly ." Briar smirked. "Of course, you could die. We all could. Have you forgotten where we are? At any moment, someone could decide they want you dead and stab you in the back tonight.

"Those who enter the Dark Court accept that we dance at death's doorstep nightly. It's what makes living here so exhilarating. We all know the risks of these little games of power and prestige we play. Sitting on the sidelines won't keep you safe anymore than stepping up would," she told Stella pointedly. "Not here."

"She has a point, Stella," Irina voiced when she remained silent.

That's the problem.

Her eyes closed as she loosed a heavy-laden sigh. A moment later, icy fingers touched the underside of her chin and tilted it up. Stella met Briar's electrifying green eyes with wary optimism.

"You are the one thing in this court everyone would die to be: an original. You are truly one of a kind, with that adorably irksome soft heart of yours and a voice that no one would dare ignore." Irina cleared her throat until both Briar and Stella looked her way.

"Am I not original?"

"We've been over this. You cheated." Briar made a point of annunciating each word. "Besides, we're all working our hardest to make you a little less original, at your bequest I might add. And once we do—and make no mistake that we will—Stella will take her rightful place as the most original courtier again."

Stella still said nothing, taking everything in with hope she didn't dare reach out and take. How many times had she tried and failed? Stella bit the inside of her cheek as the factions inside her continued to war.

"I think," Irina said solemnly, breaking Stella's train of thought. "You'll find it's much easier to live the life you want—and be who you want—when you stop living it for others, when you cast aside whatever expectations you've allowed to guide your life so far. Don't you?"

"Cin-cin," Briar cheered and raised her glass toward Irina.

A weird sense of relief shuttered through Stella. The voices quieted and something akin to peace rippled through her. It felt like a piece clicked into place inside her. A piece that she'd been resisting for a long time. She hoped it stuck.

"The world won't end," Stella whispered to herself.

Briar snorted. "Of course it won't end," she remarked, her vampyric hearing picking up on Stella's words without fail. "If it would, we'd have a much bigger problem on our hands then dealing with Irina's dual identities."

Irina made an indignant sound. "I take offense to that."

"My sincerest apologies, I misspoke." Briar offered Irina a saccharine smile. "Your triple identities."

"I guess I should get going now," Stella said to which Briar nodded.

"Wait. Before you go, I have something for you." Irina moved swiftly to a set of drawers located in the corner of the room. "It can all be a bit much to find your footing here and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Until then, my advice is to play pretend."

Stella laughed lightly. "Play pretend?"

"Fake it till you make it, darling. It's the oldest rule in the book." Briar winked and moved out of the way as Irina made her way over to them. One hand was held behind her back with whatever she claimed from her drawer.

"And if all else fails—wear a mask." Irina presented Stella with a slender black eye mask covered in small black feathers. "They do wonders for hiding what you don't want people to see and give you the freedom to be who you want to be."

Stella took the mask and carefully held it. The feathers were softer than the silk wrapped around her. "I don't think tonight's party is a masquerade."

Briar snorted and shared a smirk with Irina. "When has that ever stopped anyone?"