Chapter 12 Cole

Chapter 12 Cole

 

 

I felt as if my heart was being torn to pieces. The ache in my chest was so intense I rubbed the spot over my heart. My wolf raged inside me, almost overpowering my control of him. He wanted to burst free and run after his mate to claim her. It wasn’t him that rejected her but me—our human side that operated with logic that had kept our pack safe for years.

That was me, always putting the pack first. I’d never been selfish. Good Alphas couldn’t be, and I had strived to be just that—a good Alpha. A fair one. A logical one. Never leading with my emotions but with wisdom. All I’d ever wanted was to fill my father’s shoes—which were big shoes to fill. He was one of the best to ever lead our pack. The people loved him, and the elders respected him.

For the last seven years, I’d put my life on hold, having inherited the title of Alpha much younger than was typical. At the young of age of twenty-one, I took over from my father. Some of the elders of the pack balked at the idea at first, but the people knew who my father raised me to be, and they had faith. I’d worked hard to prove myself, and I had in every way. I had the pack’s trust and respect, even the ones who had been skeptical.

I’d practically been living for my pack. Every waking moment of my days went into working to preserve the well-being and safety of my people. They depended on me, and I’d dedicated my life to them in honor of my father. I hadn’t even taken the time to grieve my parents, who were murdered just days before I took on the tremendous responsibility of Alpha.

The temptation to be selfish, to live for me, to find my happiness was never present until I met her. My fated mate walked into my life when I had doubted she even existed. I’d wanted to claim her with every fiber of my being, but I had to put my pack first and consider what they’d think about their Alpha taking a half-human mate. Worse, the daughter of a hunter. The same group that murdered my parents. I’d had to take a step back. I had to deprive myself of the sheer joy I’d felt meeting my mate for the first time. I couldn’t have her. I couldn’t put my needs above my pack.

Rejecting my mate was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do. I hated myself for doing it a second time in front of the pack, but I had to show them I stood with them no matter what. My loyalty was to the people I’d spent my entire life around rather than a half-breed who showed up out of nowhere. However, the decisions I’d had to make were slowly killing me on the inside. My wolf was furious, in pain, and depressed. It had barely surfaced since I rejected Sydney. It had come back to life again when she showed up here today, and it was desperate to go after her.

“We can’t,” I said with a sigh.

“Why the hell not?”

My head was down, my eyes closed, and my fists were clenched. I’d been so consumed with trying to control the beats within I hadn’t heard my Beta come in. Damian leaned against the door, arms folded over his chest, staring at me.

“Do you even know what I’m talking about?” I asked.

He straightened and closed the door. “I told the others not to bother coming back because I had a feeling you wouldn’t be in the mood to continue with our meeting. And yes, I know what you’re talking about. Or whom, rather. I’m not blind or stupid, Cole.”

I snorted. “Good, or you’d make a terrible Beta.”

His lips twitched with amusement as he sat on the leather sofa and flung his arms over the back. “I’ve watched you stew in torment for days. Of course, I didn’t know you’d found your mate until she showed up at the compound.”

His accusatory glare irked me. “I don’t have to tell you everything.”

“No, but it is better when I know certain things.”

I sighed. He was right. Damian wasn’t just my Beta. He was my best friend. We’d been close since we were in diapers, and that bond fortified our partnership to run our pack. We made a better duo than even my father and his Beta.

“For instance, your fated mate might be a hunter. I would love to have gotten that heads up before she showed up with a damn hunter’s dagger.”

Massaging my forehead to ward off an impeding headache, I told him, “I told her to stay away.”

“And that worked so out well.”

“I can do without your sarcasm,” I snapped.

Damian held up his palms in surrender. He knew me better than most, so he knew when to back off. I wasn’t in the mood to go back and forth with him about anything. I walked to the window, hoping to get a glimpse of Sydney. It was all I could have—staring at her when she made her surprise visit.

It was Violet who I saw, waiting on the steps. Then Sydney appeared. I watched her. Even from this distance, I could see her defeated stance. Regret almost overwhelmed me, but I shoved the feeling aside.

Damian’s annoyed sigh floated around the office as he came to stand beside me. He watched Violet and Sydney, shaking his head. “I swear Violet just doesn’t quit. Do you think she’s conspiring with your mate to set up another meeting with you?”

“She isn’t my mate.”

“You rejecting her doesn’t just erase the reality that you two are fated.”

I almost ground my molars to dust. “You won’t allow me to even mention your mate, so shut up about mine.”

Suddenly, the air crackled with tension. A low growl rumbled in Damian’s chest. I almost rolled my eyes at how touchy he was about the subject of his personal life. Yet, he badgered me about mine. Sensing that his wolf was close, I called on mine to intervene. When I glanced at him, the Alpha wolf’s eyes flashed a feral red rather than the typical amber. Like magic, Damian’s wolf retreated.

He ducked his head and blew out a breath. “I’m sorry.”

“I understand.” I gazed at Sydney as she and Violet talked. I didn’t get Damian’s mood swings whenever his mate was mentioned, but I did now. It was hard thinking about not having the one fated to you because your union was deemed taboo.

“Your situation is a bit different from mine,” Damian said. “Why don’t you just claim her? It’s obviously eating away at you that you haven’t.”

“You know the story.”

“But that’s just it. What if it’s just a rumor?”

“No, the story about Sophia Elliot is true.” I was just a kid at the time, but I remembered my father’s rage over the betrayal. “Sydney is, in fact, the product of a union steeped in betrayal. She’s a hunter’s daughter. As Alpha, I could never go there. Besides, her people killed my parents,” I snarled.

Damian nodded. “And she was in possession of a hunter’s weapon. Maybe your theory is right. Sydney could have been sent by the hunters to scope us out.”

A part of me doubted that, but I had to be cautious. “She showed up out of nowhere when there’s been a spike in hunter activity.” For the past two months, there have been complaints from neighboring packs about the arrival of hunters in their territory. I didn’t know what caused this, but we could be next. Sydney could have been sent here by her fellow hunters under the guise of looking to connect with her mother’s former pack. The safety of my pack came first, even if I craved to have my mate. Logic over emotion. It was simple.

“I’m suspicious, Damian.” I stared at Sydney through the window. “Watch her. If there’s concrete proof that she’s in league with hunters, she has to go.”

Damian turned to me, surprise gleaming in his eyes. “You mean, you’d…”

“Have her eliminated?”

“She’s your mate. Is that possible?” For once, the ever-confident Damian seemed unsure.

I swallowed hard, not bothering to hide behind an emotionless mask. I was sure Damian saw the fear and uncertainty in my eyes. “I…I suppose if I have to…”

The very thought made me nauseous. I might have rejected Sydney, but that didn’t mean our mate’s bond hadn’t gotten under my skin. I wasn’t sure if I could do her actual physical harm to protect the pack. The thought of something happening to her made my wolf feel homicidal. I didn’t know what I’d do if it turned out Sydney was my enemy.

It was times like these when I missed my old man. My father always knew what to do in any situation. Pain over my parents’ death almost consumed it. Hunters took them away from me. I hadn’t had peace of mind since the day they died because I had yet to find their killer or killers. I threw up that emotional block that I’d become an expert at erecting. If Sydney were in league with hunters, I’d do anything necessary to avenge my parents. I’d use my mate as a pawn to lead me to her group if I had to.

My wolf huffed as if calling me out on my bullshit. My animal would fight me tooth and nail if I tried to hurt our mate. But I’d worry about crossing that bridge if I came to it.