Chapter Thirty-Three

Maybe I shouldn't have been so mad. Maybe I should have known. But I'd been hoping for a bit of normalcy to ground me. Dominic sharing our alone time made it feel less like ours, and that scared me. It meant that I'd never get that with any of them. It would always be the three of them in bed with me, even when it was only one. I'd been thinking this would be three relationships, and I'd been getting used to that. And it would be. But it would also be one giant Cerberus-sized relationship.

And then there was the fact that I felt, well, violated. No, that's too harsh. I feel as if I'm taking the gravitas away from women who have been truly violated by saying that. I had definitely consented to the sex. It wasn't force and there was no violence involved. More of an abuse of my trust. But Dominic thought I knew the sex would be shared—at least, the sensations of it. I truly believed that he thought that. I knew he was a good man and would never violate my trust knowingly. So maybe it wasn't that I felt as if my trust had been violated, but my hopes. That single act had dashed my hopes of having separate relationships with each of them. I mean, yes, I did want them to be happy, and I liked the thought that we could live together, maybe even get intimate together, but I didn't want that constantly. I wanted to have choices. Space to breathe.

There it was. Choice. My options had been hobbled, and I didn't like that. It was really the situation that I was mad at, not Dominic. What he did was just a misunderstanding. He hadn't deserved my harsh reaction. Shit.

I huffed in irritation as I entered my room. I've always prided myself on being honest—as much as possible with others and always with myself. But honesty can be a bitter pill to swallow. I was wrong to snap at Dominic like that. And that sucked. But hey, know thyself. Even better—be true to yourself. When I'm wrong, I apologize.

I opened the door and found Dominic there, his fist lifted to knock. “Holy shit!” I flinched.

Dominic jerked too. “Sorry. I came to apologize. Angel, I—”

“You don't need to apologize,” I cut him off. “I overreacted. I need to apologize.”

“What?” He gaped at me.

“I know you're a good guy, Dom. You'd never violate my trust like that. You assumed I knew. I assumed something else. A lot of assuming went on.”

“And you know what they say about assumption,” he said sagely.

Together, we said, “It makes an ass out of you and umption.”

Then we giggled like kids.

Dominic pulled me into a hug. “Still, I'm sorry I made you feel that way, angel. I want you to feel safe with me. With us.” He stood back to look at me, his glittering golden-gray stare going earnest. “Because you are. Each of us would die to protect you. And that would mean death for all of us, so that's an even bigger deal than—”

“What?” I growled, cutting him off again.

“What I say now?”

“The part about all of you dying.”

“Oh. Yeah. We're bound. So, if one of us dies, the other two will be pulled into death with them.”

“Holy fuck!”

Dom shrugged. “We're not going to die, angel. Don't worry about it.”

“What about me?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“If I'm bound to you, would I die in this hypothetical scenario too?”

He considered that. His expression went grim, then angry.

“That answers that,” I muttered.

“No . . . I'm upset because I don't know. I'll have to ask Hades. But death wouldn't be bad for any of us. We'd go to the Blessed Isles, and we could live there together. In peace. No more fighting.”

I grimaced. “I guess that's the bright side of death.”

“But we won't let you die.”

“Dom, that whole, 'Each one of us would die to protect you,' thing is kinda ridiculous now. Cause if you died to protect me, you might end up killing me. That's the height of irony.”

“I don't think that's the case, angel. Our bond is different from the one we'll form with you. I think you'd survive. But regardless, we're going to protect you and ourselves.” He pulled me back into his embrace and nuzzled my ear. “I wouldn't want to leave you here all alone. You'd be so sad without us.”

I snorted. “I adore your humility.”

“I'm teasing.” He went serious. “The truth is, I don't know where we stand with you. It seems to change every day. Sometimes every hour. You fucking confuse the hell out of me, woman.”

“I'm still figuring out what I want. I'm sorry.”

“No, it's normal. We haven't been together for long and now you're here, and I've thrust my pack on you, hoping you'll love all three of us. It's a lot. And it's going too fast. I get it.”

“I don't think we should have sex again until I'm sure.”

“What?!” Dominic screeched.

Binx cried and ran for the bathroom.

“Sex only confuses things,” I said. “I feel closer to you. Obviously. But then I'm left unsure of whether I'm falling for you or just enjoying the pleasure.”

“Oh.” His hands fell to his sides. “I understand.”

“It doesn't mean that you can't touch me or kiss me.” I took his hand. “Only that we need to slow down so I can figure things out.”

“You're right. And in my defense, I did intend to have a proper date with you.”

“I know. It's as much my fault as it is yours.”

“So, how about we pick out something to make for lunch?”

“I'm starving, so let's pick something fast.” I pushed him out the door and then shut it behind us. Right on cue, my stomach rumbled.

“It sounds as if we need to quickly choose something that we can also cook quickly,” he said.

“Yes. Absolutely.”

“Then forget the recipes.” Dominic turned us in the direction of the kitchen. “Grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, it is.”

“Oh, that sounds divine.”

“Be careful how you use that word in this house.” He winked at me. “But yes, I happen to make the best grilled cheese sandwiches you'll ever have.”