4. Benny

CHAPTER FOUR

benny

“Oh yeah, that’s good. That’s really good,” I pant, feeling hot. So hot. Why is it so hot in here?

But I can’t focus because my dick is currently being engulfed in the warmest, tightest heat and a head of dark hair is bobbing up and down, giving me the blowjob of my life. Holy fuck, that’s good. It’s never been so good before.

“Don’t stop.” My fingers curl into the soft hair, and I groan, thrusting hard, hitting the sponginess of the throat I’m fucking. I hear a slight gagging noise, but the intense sucking doesn’t let up at all. It’s powerful and strong, big hands holding onto my ass and gripping hard as my cock is pushed even further inside.

All too soon, I’m spurting cum into the tight heat with no warning, and then eyes are looking up at me. Beautiful, dark-green eyes, shimmering with mirth and lust. I suck in a deep breath, getting even hotter, and I can feel the sweat covering my body.

Rowan.

I sit up straight in my bed, my body covered with sweat, and I’m still panting. I can feel the sticky evidence of the wet dream in my underwear, my heart rate nearly out of control. I run my fingers through my tangled curls and try to get my ragged breathing to slow a little.

This is so not good.

After quickly cleaning up, changing into grubby clothes, and doing my chores, I barely have time for a shower, kissing my mom on the cheek, and grabbing the breakfast burrito she hands me before I hop into my truck and head to school.

I barely get down the road before I see Rowan standing outside his truck, fiddling under the hood for the second day in a row. He looks irritated, for sure, but my eyes seem to be glued to his biceps. He’s wearing a Big Bend Bears blue shirt, but it’s hugging his gigantic biceps, just hanging on for dear life. I’m not even sure he’s flexing that much, but I can see the power in his muscles.

I’m toned and firm. With years of football and farm work, there’s no way I couldn’t be, but I’ll always be on the smaller side. Rowan—he’s just big. But there’s not an ounce of fat on him, and I can’t help but notice the veins in his arms when he flexes. He’s just so powerful. Could throw me around without any effort. He’s looking over at me now with those intense green eyes—the same ones from my dream, and then he hangs his head before closing the hood of his truck and walking over to me.

“Hell of a job fixing it, McBride.” But he doesn’t seem all that annoyed with me. Sure, he’s frustrated with his truck, but really, this is his normal mood—still on the hostile side though.

He grumbles as he grabs the passenger-side door handle, and I just laugh as his grumpy ass hops into my truck. I’m glad I didn’t have to force him to let me give him a ride because I’m already running a little late. I drive us to school, and he just climbs out of my truck without so much as a thank-you and heads inside, all stompy and mad.

Still, I’m in a pretty good mood as I grab my backpack and walk into the school a few steps behind him. That is, until I see Mya standing by my locker, her arms crossed and her hip popped in my direction.

Well, fuck a duck . I don’t really want to do this today, and I can already feel all the eyes on us—even Rowan’s, who’s standing at the next locker bay. Those intense green eyes, locked on Mya and me. I wonder why he cares. Probably just bored. There’s not a lot that goes on around here, and everyone is always looking for some sort of entertainment. By the look on Mya’s face, I’d say they’re about to get some.

“Mya.” I approach her with a smile and do my best to put in my combination to my locker with shaky hands. It’s been months since we broke up—hell, almost a year—but I still feel the guilt rolling through me, standing this close to her. She didn’t deserve what I did to her. She was an amazing girlfriend. And I screwed it up—badly. I still don’t know why or how it happened.

“That’s it?” Her tone is icy, but she also sounds like she might burst into tears at any moment.

Well, this is not good. I give up opening my locker when I mess it up for the second time and finally just focus on her. She looks pretty today, but Mya always looks pretty. Her blonde hair is in a loose braid, and her blue eyes are lined in light black. She doesn’t wear a lot of makeup, but the amount she wears only serves to make her even more stunning. She’s dressed for the summer heat that’s still swamping us in late August, a tank top and jean shorts, just this side of getting her sent home to change. But she’s always been able to do the sexy sort of subtle thing, and she doesn’t have to dress skimpy to get attention. “I’m sorry? What else should I have said?” I keep my tone light, like I’m really trying to understand what she wants me to say, not being a smartass. I’m not, but I also really don’t want to talk.

“Are you dating someone new?” She’s not shouting at me and doesn’t seem all that angry. Just maybe... resigned. Like she’s accepted that I’m with someone else.

That actually surprises me, and I shake my head. “What?” That’s why she wants to talk to me? “Why do you think that?”

She huffs at me, dropping her folded arms to her sides. “Cut the shit, Benny. You broke up with me because you wanted to be with someone else.”

“That’s not why,” I say, keeping my voice quiet.

“Bullshit.” She, however, is apparently not interested in this being a private conversation. “You said you almost kissed someone and that’s why we needed to break up.”

It takes everything in me not to look over at Rowan, but I swear I can feel his gaze boring into the side of my head. “Can we please not do this here?’

“I want to know.” She stands firm. “You don’t want to be with me, and you’re Benny McBride, serial dater. You have to be with someone by now, but I haven’t heard anything at all. Which means you’re hiding it, which is just shitty.”

I don’t blame her for being mad at me, hell, for hating me, I really don’t. She should. But I still don’t want to do this here in front of the entire school—or really at all. And I’m not a serial dater. Yeah, I’ve had a girlfriend, like, most of high school, but I can’t help it if I kind of fall fast and hard. I want love. Who doesn’t? Love is awesome. “Mya, it’s over. Why do we need to rehash this?” I’m pleading with her now and trying really hard not to hurt her anymore. That’s the last thing I want.

“Because you loved me once,” she says, her eyes welling up with tears that cut through me, making my gut turn with guilt. It absolutely guts me.

“I still love you.” And I do. I’m not in love with her, but I love her, and I don’t want her to be in pain. I don’t want anyone to be in pain or to feel like they aren’t loved.

She scoffs angrily at that and wipes tears from her cheek with the back of her hand. “No you don’t, Benny. You’re so in love with love, you don’t even know what it is.”

I frown at that. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

She just waves me off furiously. “Forget it. It doesn’t matter.” She shakes her head at me, wiping away her tears again and then takes off down the hall. I consider following her, but I know it won’t do any good. I don’t think anything I say could help the situation.

She just needs to hate me for a while.

And I’m just going to have to live with that, no matter how much it hurts.

I glance over toward Rowan’s locker, seeing that while almost everyone else has moved on after Mya walked out of here, Rowan’s eyes are directly on me. He’s watching me with a look I can’t decipher, but still it sends a shiver of desire through my entire body, and I have to force my eyes away from him before I get myself into some serious trouble.

I hurt Mya. It’s something I’m trying to get through, but I made the right decision ending it with her.

What happened—it wouldn’t have happened if she was the one.