Chapter 4

4

TORI

“Yoohoo! Earth to Tori!”

I blink and look over at Jess, the other administrative assistant I share a workspace with. She’s a tall brunette with thick-rimmed glasses who’s been working with me for the last two years.

“Sorry, what?” I ask.

“Did you get that invoice I forwarded you from Bob?”

“Oh.” I click to my inbox, my eyes widening at the half-dozen unread emails. I usually keep my inbox tidy. How long was I zoned out?

“Oh,” Jess says, “I meant to tell you I saw Felix this morning when I dropped off coffee at that meeting at corporate.” She lets out a sound of disgust. “He gave me the smuggest look, like he’s not the one usually being ordered around for coffee runs and copies.”

“Huh,” I say absently.

Jess stands and walks over to my desk. She sits on the edge and stares down at me. “Okay, what is going on with you? The mention of Felix always gets you riled up. You’ve been in la-la-land all day, not to mention”—she sets a hand on mine to still my tapping finger—“fidgeting nonstop.”

I sit back in my creaky chair. “I don’t know. I’m just…restless.”

“Is that why you missed half the workday yesterday?”

I hesitate. I haven’t talked to anyone about what happened. I specifically wore a long-sleeve shirt today to cover my arm bandage. I don’t know why. It’s not a big deal, and yet I’m still processing that I was one measly second and a matter of feet from dying. And then running into Tyler just brought back all the crap I dealt with when Ryan dumped me.

“Hey,” Jess says, “I picked up your slack and stayed late.”

“And I’m so grateful to you for that.” I swivel to face her in my chair. “I just had a weird experience where I kind of almost died, and it’s messing with my head a little.”

“Jeez,” she says, her brow knitting. “What happened?”

“I wasn’t paying attention when I was walking back from lunch, and I almost got hit by a gigantic semi.”

Her eyes widen, and she swears. “That’s terrifying. I’m so sorry.”

I take a big breath and let it out quickly. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”

“Except you’re clearly not. Are you having a mid-life crisis?”

“I’m twenty-five, Jess.” I stare at a point on the wall behind her, thinking. “But I guess twenty-five was almost my end -of-life. Maybe I will die when I’m fifty. Or tomorrow.”

She puts a hand on my arm. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow your roll. It’s just a phrase. Let’s call it a quarter-life crisis. I’d just like to prepare myself if you’re going to show up tomorrow with a pixie cut and a ticket to Bali to become a yogi.”

I touch my braided waves. “ Would I look better with a pixie cut?”

“ No .” She leans back to look at me. “Gosh, this is really messing with you, isn’t it? I mean, it makes sense. Almost dying is no joke. Our raft flipped over on the Colorado River one time, and”—she blows out a breath, her eyes wide—“it really did a number on me for a couple weeks.”

Rafting. See, that’s the kind of thing I would’ve done before Ryan. The stuff that gets your heart racing and your adrenaline pumping. I don’t think it’s the fact that I almost died yesterday that’s shaken me so much as that I almost died in the middle of such a boring phase of life.

“I’m fine,” I say. “I’m just…I don’t know. Like, what am I doing with my life, you know? This”—I motion to my paper-littered desk and the general office area—“wasn’t the plan. My dream in college wasn’t to be an administrative assistant.”

“Fair enough. What was your dream?”

I’m quiet because I don’t know how to answer that. I chose communications as a major in college because it was the only one that sounded half-interesting when I went to an orientation meeting freshman year. It seemed like it was what the fun people were doing. I assumed I’d become some big marketing guru, but I don’t even know that I want that.

That was always Ryan’s issue—me jumping from one thing to another.

My phone lights up with a text.

Unknown

Hey, it’s Luca from the hospital. Or Crusher. Whatever you wanna call me. You left your purse in my car. I can drop it off later if you send me your address.

“Luca?” Jess says, looking over my shoulder. “The hospital ?”

I turn off my screen. “You’re so nosy.”

She cocks a brow. “I did three budget reports for Bob yesterday afternoon, I’ll have you know.”

I show a smile of clenched teeth. Budget reports are our absolute least favorite task, and Bob is my boss, not hers. “Okay, fine. Luca’s the one who kind of…saved my life or whatever. But then he insisted on taking me to the hospital to get checked out even though I was perfectly fine. Stop looking at me like that.”

She doesn’t stop. Her brows are sky-high. “I thought you just barely missed being hit. I didn’t know anyone else was involved. So, this Luca guy saved your life?”

“And kind of crushed me in the process,” I say, displaying my bandaged arm because I can see where her mind is headed.

“Very sad.” She barely gives it a glance. “How old is Superman?”

I press my lips together, even though Luca certainly has the build to play that role. “He’s not my type, Jess. Like, at all.”

“You mean he’s not a blond surfer bro with a loud laugh and major pick-me energy?”

“Hey,” I say, but as I mentally review the evidence…well, she might have a point. I haven’t dated since Ryan dumped me for Miss Manhattan a year ago, but before him, there was Cody. And before Cody, there was Ryder.

Jess watches me with a knowing smile. “You, my friend, need to figure out what you want out of life. You’ve been in this job for too long. You’ve gotten boring.”

“Rude.” But again, she’s got a point. I’ve been playing it safe. Ryan broke my heart so violently that I promised myself I wouldn’t put myself in a position ever again where I could be hurt like that. It’s why I’ve embraced that I’m going to be the cool, single cat-lady aunt in my family.

But lately, I’ve been on track to become the boring single cat-lady aunt, and I’m not okay with that. I need more excitement in my life and fewer budget reports. I don’t need to offer my heart up for slaughter, but I can still keep life interesting.

The office door opens, and our bosses walk in together, mid-conversation after a client lunch.

Jess shoots me a resigned guess-that’s-the-end-of-our-chit-chat look and heads back to her desk.

Once I’ve touched base with Bob, I shoot a response to Luca.

Tori

Thanks, but I can come get it from you!

Luca

I’ll bring it to you. You’re supposed to avoid driving after a head injury.

My MRI was clear, remember?

I remember. You still shouldn’t drive for 48 hours. I didn’t save your life so you could risk it again immediately.

Do I need to clear all my life choices with you now, then?

It couldn’t hurt.

I smile, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. Finally, I type my address in.

Luca

I’ll be there at six.

Tori

I’ll have the mace ready ;)

“Quick question,” I say to Jess. “How do you thank a guy who snatched you from the jaws of death?”

She doesn’t take her eyes off her computer screen as she taps away on the 10-key. “Easy. First, you show me a picture of him. Then you bow down and become his servant because you owe literally every second of your life to him.”

“Thanks,” I say dryly.

I really am at a loss, though. Inside, I’ve got this swirl of intense emotions around yesterday—a need to seize the day and live without regrets on the one hand, and on the other, a deep sense of debt to Luca that I have no idea how to repay.

At least I’ve got a few hours to figure it out.