CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

After their fight night, the women were subdued in their bedroom. Everyone sat on her individual bed exhausted, embarrassed, and undeniably concerned that they all may have gone too far this time. Especially Roz and Trina. Both looked worn out with so much food still in their hair and wine still all over their clothing that it stood as reminders: If their marriages weren't in trouble before they got there, they were in trouble now.

“How can we come back from this?” Gemma asked. “We all got so carried away.”

“Carried away my ass.” Roz, as usual, was still defiant. “I kept thinking about all those text messages he was sending to that damn woman, and I wanted to snatch his eyes out.”

“And you damn near did,” said Trina.

“What about you, Tree?” asked Gemma. She and Trina weren’t just married to Gabrini men. They were in business together as well. “You weren’t exactly a wallflower up in there either.”

Nikki had to cover her mouth to avoid showing her smile. It was amazing she was even there with the OGs of the family, but there she was.

“How do you feel how it went?” Gemma asked Roz.

“It went well!” Trina declared.

“It went well?” Gemma looked at her doubtfully. “Really, Trina? Is that what we’re doing?”

“That’s what I’m doing! I'm so over Reno's ass I don't know what to do about it.”

“Says Katrina Gabrini for the twelve-thousandth time,” said Roz.

A look came over Trina that wasn’t as defiant anymore. “You don’t’ think I know I say that all the time? I know I’m all talk to Reno. That’s why his ass keep pulling this shit. But this time is different. This time I caught him with the woman.”

“You caught him doing what, though, Tree?” Gemma asked her. “Having a meal with a female? One of your friends said Reno’s with a woman at this restaurant and you go flying over there and catch him doing what? I can see why Roz would be enraged, but there seems to be something more going on with you and Reno. Something you aren't telling us. Because all I heard was that you caught him having lunch or dinner or whatever it was with a woman. That’s all I heard you say.”

Another look came over Trina's face that was beyond sad. Gemma and Roz saw it, but even Nikki saw it too. It was that kind of look no woman wanted to have who still loved her husband and wanted their marriage to work. But sometimes she wondered if she was overreacting. She looked over at Roz.

Roz quickly alleviated her fears. “Don’t sit there listening to Gemma with her lawyer mind. You aren’t overreacting to shit. All of this talk about there must be more to it than that. It’s years of evidence, not just that one time. You’ve got all the evidence you need already. Because you know why? Our heart sees as much as our eyes see. Like with Mick right now. Because if my heart and my eyes are telling me that it looks like a duck, it walks like a duck, and it quacks like that motherfucker? Then guess what? It ain’t no dove. It’s a duck!”

“Except,” said Nikki, and everybody looked at her.

Trina and Gemma were surprised that she would even question what Roz just said. Roz was surprised too. “Except for what?” Roz asked her.

“Except your husband isn't a liar.”

Roz's anger rose. “Don't you dare do that. Don’t you dare do that, Nikki.”

“Do what?” Nikki asked. “What am I doing?”

“Don't you dare defend him,” Roz said with irritation in her voice. “Don't you dare. Yeah you got a great relationship with him right now. Every time we have a family get together everybody keeps talking about how Mick just love your ass and how he would rather take you in the field with him than even Teddy.”

“Which isn’t true,” said Nikki. “Teddy is the best and Mr. Sinatra knows that.”

“I know he knows it,” said Roz. “But do your ass know it?”

Nikki was offended. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I see how Mick be staring at you all the time. He loves you. Ain’t no denying that shit. You and Tommy hold a special place in his heart. I don’t know why. I don’t know if he even knows why. But you do. I get that. I appreciate that. But don’t get it twisted. Just because he puts you on a pedestal right now? That's gonna change one day. Because guess what? He used to put me on pedestals too. He used to cherish me too. You're the fresh, new, young face on the scene. I’m this old lady he’s getting tired of. I get that.”

“Roz come on now,” said Trina, more out of fear than disagreement. “You know Mick isn’t tired of you.”

“His ass is tired of me! I’m not gonna sugarcoat this shit. He be around all these young women like Nikki with more ass than I got, with bigger tits than I got. What man don’t want that?”

“Roz.” Trina was warning her she was going too far.

“Don't Roz me!” Roz shot back. “I’m telling the truth! Because Nikki, believe you me that nothing stays young and new and fresh for long.”

Trina and Gemma glanced at each other. They weren't immune to what Roz was saying either. They knew their husbands were constantly around these gorgeous young thangs who wanted that come-up so bad that they would give their right arms to be with their men. That was what they were all up against and they all knew it the day they agreed to marry Gabrini and Sinatra men. But Nikki was nothing like those conniving young women.Nikki was nothing like that!

And Nikki was getting fed up with Roz and other people in the family insinuating that she was. But confronting a powerhouse like Roz was tricky. Minefield tricky because she knew Roz didn’t play and if you came for her, you had better come correct.

But she was fed up. And where better than a retreat to let it all out? “I have something to say,” Nikki said, and everybody looked at her.

But Nikki was intentional this time. She didn’t direct her concerns to everybody in the group like it was a group thing. She looked Roz dead in the eyes and went there. “I didn’t just become a member of your family yesterday,” she said. “I’ve been a part of this family long enough to be understood by now. And it’s not easy to be a member of this family.”

“Tell us about it,” Gemma said, and she and Trina laughed.

But Roz couldn’t manage a smile. She was still staring at Nikki, as if she wanted their undercover beef out in the open too.

“This family is just different,” Nikki continued. “I mean I’m married to your stepson. I have his baby. But I still don’t even know what to call you because Mr. Sinatra doesn’t like any of his employees calling you by your first name around him, because he finds that disrespectful, but you insist I call you by your first name anyway. And then Teddy’s telling me to stop calling his father Mr. Sinatra and just call him Pop. But whenever I call him Pop, Mr. Sinatra gives me that look like I’m being disrespectful to him! It’s like I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. I just don’t know what to call y’all.”

Trina and Gemma glanced at each other. They thought she was going to finally squash that tension she and Roz had been building up by putting it all out on the table, but she lost them with that what do I call y’all diatribe.

“Call me Roz,” Roz said to Nikki.

“But Mr. Sinatra--”

“I don’t give a shit. Call me Roz.”

That stress on Nikki’s round, pretty face was so evident it was kind of shocking. She was an underboss of the most powerful syndicate in the world. The first and only black woman to have ever even been considered for such an honor. But all of that major league shit she had to deal with on a daily couldn’t compare to confronting Roz. Trina and Gemma felt for her. Because even they sometimes would get tongue-tied confronting a firestorm like Roz.

Nikki knew she had to move on because there was no way she was going to defy Mick Sinatra and incur his wrath, she didn’t care what Roz or Teddy thought. She wasn’t going to do it. She moved on. “I love being in your family,” she said, “and I love you and respect you to the utmost. I did from day one, and I still do today. I would never do anything to disrespect you or be disloyal to you. But please hear me and hear me well,” Nikki said with all sincerity on her expressive face. “You have the wrong one if you think I’m that girl that’s looking for a come-up or trying to take somebody’s man or any of that shit. That ain’t me and it’s never been me. And if you think I’m that girl with all evidence to the contrary, then that’s a personal problem that is never going to become my problem. Because I am not your competition.”

Trina elbowed Gemma in shock when Nikki stood up to Roz that succinctly. It was in that moment both ladies could see why Mick thought so highly of Nikki’s skills. Because girl got backbone. She was putting Roz in her sho’nuff place. Girl got a backbone of steel.

But how would Roz take this unfiltered Nikki? That was Trina’s concern, and Gemma’s too. They both knew Roz could be as vicious as Mick.

Roz stared at her stepdaughter-in-law with a look that could go hard or soft, depending on which way Roz wanted to go. But Roz was a realist if she was anything. She knew it took a lot of courage for Nikki to say the little she did say to her.

And she also knew that her anger toward Nikki was vastly misplaced. “I apologize, Nikki,” she said to Trina and Gemma's surprise. “I don't view you as competition. You’re a daughter-in-law that I cherish and love dearly.” Then she exhaled as tears appeared in her eyes. “I’m just angry that I’m so damn insecure and jealous and all that shit I hate, over some damn man! And I’m so scared that I may have already lost that man. A man I love so much it hurts! But I'm sorry for taking it out on you. It has nothing to do with you. Please believe that.”

And as the tears began to fall from Roz’s huge eyes, Nikki hurried to her, sat on the bed beside her, and the two ladies hugged it out. Roz sobbed in Nikki’s arms. Which brought it all back for all of them. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

Gemma shook her head as she grabbed a Kleenex off the nightstand. “Some Christmas,” she said as she blew her nose, and they all began crying too.