39. Lexa

Chapter 39

Lexa

Eight and a Half Months Later

O nly a few months back in Tanselm and I was already wishing we hadn't returned. A spike of energy under my feet and a glance at the rilk trees shifting to block the midday sun from hitting me had me revising my thoughts. I wished we hadn't returned so soon .

The aftermath of the war with Sin Garu hadn't been pretty. The Light Bringers had yet to fully accept me, but I knew the process would take time. Most of the sorcerers and Light Bringer warriors seemed to respect me.

Apparently, word had gotten out about my part in Sin Garu's and the demons' demise — thank you Jonas and Sava — and many in Tanselm treated me with reverence.

Brother Giles, in fact, tripped over his feet every time he looked in my direction. The stalwart young Churchman had apprised us of Ordinary Nohjen's responsibility in the death of Ravyn and several other loyal Light Bringers we hadn't known about, as well as his partnership with Sin Garu to rid Tanselm of all things Dark.

Unfortunately, Nohjen had escaped. But I knew he would soon be brought to justice. Arim himself had overseen a thorough cleansing of the Church of Illumination. With Brother Giles' help, the tide was turning in favor of accepting the Djinn and Aellei, now very much a part of Tanselm's culture.

I waddled clumsily through the woods toward the roomy cottage Arim and I shared on the fringes of the western keep. Though I would have preferred that we live in Morn Mountain, I recognized the need for him to see and be seen by Tanselm's people.

Even though the great Guardian of Storm tried to stay behind the scenes as he guided his nephews in the running of the land, many still looked to him when any grand decision needed to be made.

If only the new overking would show himself. Of the four pregnant affai, only Tessa and Alandra had given birth so far. Tessa delivered a healthy set of twins: one boy and one girl. There had been much excitement until she stopped pushing. Marcus had appeared extremely relieved and so much in love with his wife that I forgave him for his occasional arrogance.

Aerolus and Alandra produced a healthy baby boy, one with bright white hair and sparkling gray eyes. That one would be a handful, I thought with a smirk. Sava had been beside himself with pride, so much so I might have thought he'd been the father.

My smile dimmed at thoughts of my friend. He'd recovered well enough from his possession, but the carefree demeanor I'd come to expect in him was often mixed with a sobriety I didn't care for. Too often, Sava seemed to stare at nothing, lost in nightmares or worries he wouldn't discuss.

He was currently taking care of matters in Aelle, stifling more rebellions and dealing with pesky Aellei plotting mischief, though he continued to visit on and off, thoroughly pleased with his new nephew, as he'd dubbed Aerolus and Alandra's boy.

As they typically did, thoughts of Sava reminded me of Remir. I still didn't know how I felt about his predicament. Once Sava and he had destroyed the demon ladder and the bridge, Sava had decided Remir's fate for him.

"He'd suffered enough for playing a part he had no choice in playing," Sava had told me. "He thought he deserved death, but the Next is not his place, not yet." The old sparkle in Sava's eyes had returned, and for a brief instant, I'd seen the prankster of old I hadn't wanted to admit I missed. "So I found him a body."

"You what ?"

"Remir is now an official member of Tanselm."

I still wondered who the hell he'd found. Every time I passed someone I didn't know in the kingdom, I secretly wondered if he might be Remir. That dastardly, sneaky Sava still wouldn't tell me who he was.

"Remir needs a clean slate," Sava had said. "Let's give it to him."

As much as I wanted to know his identity, I realized for Remir to truly start over, my not knowing was the best thing for him.

I would have tripped over a large tree root if one of the trees hadn't reached out a limb to steady me. "Thanks."

The trees whispered their pleasure, and I couldn't help feeling at home for the first time in my life. I would never be welcomed by everyone, but those that counted loved me. Actually loved me. I laughed to myself, pleased with the way I'd kept Arim on tenterhooks for the past few months.

No man could fetch me everything I wanted, whenever I wanted it, and not love me. I'd made him travel to Seattle time and time again for pastries that didn't taste "the same" when he tried to create them using magic. The foot rubs, the back massages, and the incredible, mind-blowing sex that just kept getting better should have put me in a fine mood.

I rubbed my aching back and entered my home. I would have felt better if Aerolus had agreed to let me teach at University this last month. And if my feet weren't so swollen and my back hurting like someone had smacked me with a firn stick.

I sighed and patted my ripe belly. If the little guys weren't so darned active all the time, I might get a moment's peace. As I thought it, one of them kicked me below my bellybutton while another jumped on my bladder.

I'd kept mum about what I suspected, and Arim hadn't voiced any concerns except to be absurdly happy anytime he looked at or touched my swollen belly. Though I couldn't determine the sex of my babies, I knew I had more than one in the old oven, perhaps even more than two.

"Like Light-forsaken acrobats in there," I mumbled, hugging myself.

Any day now and I'd be free from this heavy burden, free to love my young ones as Muri and Esel had once loved me.

That was the other thing that bothered me. I'd never had closure on my family's death. Though Giles would investigate when he could, I had little faith the Church would find the records of the search into my foster family's murder. Sin Garu and Balen hadn't done it. Perhaps Ini had. I still had the feeling that a Light Bringer or two had been in on it.

"But not my Light Bringer." My own personal Dark Lord.

I had yet to tell Arim what Ravyn had told me about his family. In time I would, but right now we were working on bettering our connection. As much as I knew Arim loved me, I still had my doubts that we could make our relationship work.

It was selfish of me, yes, but I needed at least one of us to be stable. Arim bent over backwards to show me how much he cared, how much he truly loved and trusted me. I needed to see it. Often.

Later, when I had more confidence in our relationship, I'd tell Arim he'd started life as a Darkling. Such stellar Darkness… I pressed my thighs together just thinking about the lusty sorcerer I'd married. By the Light, he really knew how to set me on fire.

A sudden wave of heat flashed through me, and I caught myself around my middle again. That type of fire didn't feel good. In fact, it felt abnormal. During my pregnancy, my temperature had run several degrees cooler than it normally did. A perfectly healthy response for a Dark Lord female, according to a Dark healer Arim had found in Malern.

The healer was a surprisingly decent woman who had settled comfortably in the northern territory where Jonas was constantly causing a stir.

I relaxed as the strange heat subsided and wondered what Jonas had done today to irritate one of the Storm Lords. Now the head of the Djinn contingent in Tanselm, he seemed to take pride in annoying the powers that be. I snickered. Darius had a temper I considered impressive, and I'd been hard pressed not to laugh in his face every time Jonas pressed his buttons. Especially since all the affai doted on Jonas, and well he knew it.

Another wave of heat struck me. I gasped as I leaned against the counter near Arim's wall of plants. The foliage reached out for me, but I waved it away.

I'm fine , I sent Tanselm. I think . But maybe I ought to call Arim. The familiar aggravation that had plagued me this entire pregnancy returned. Trust the Guardian of Storm to knock me up as big as a house. I had a small frame, but did his babies understand that? No.

Arim. I tried several times to call him and found my way blocked. What the hell?

Easing into a seat, I rubbed my stomach and winced as a contraction hit. Okay, now I needed help. I managed to stand and hobbled to the plants. I reached out and touched them and sent my need through the earth to Arim. We'd been working on alternate means of communication, and I loved using Tanselm as a medium. The land always seemed ecstatic to be included in anything Arim and I did. It was almost embarrassing how much Tanselm fell all over herself to please me.

I didn't mention it much, but I knew Arim felt it. Between helping his nephews and restoring the kingdom, he'd found comfort in the aid Tanselm offered.

I knew he'd be upset I hadn't remained with Ellie and Samantha today. But honestly, just because the three of us were pregnant, did we have to do everything together? Not that I didn't treasure my newfound friendships — or the uneasiness I still aroused in most of the Storm Lords that I was petty enough to enjoy — but I was used to being alone and cherished my privacy.

Which might not have been such a good idea today. I shuffled back toward the plush couch in the large, open room that comprised our main living area. Just as I reached the arm of the couch, the front door slammed open.

I stared curiously at the most wanted individual in Tanselm.

Likenesses of Ordinary Nohjen had been posted everywhere, a heavy reward offered for information on his whereabouts. Idly, I wondered if I could receive the reward, considering I'd married into royalty.

"You," Nohjen seethed. He looked very little like his portrait. The image of that wanted man had a keen polish, a muscular build, and an air of arrogant competence.

This man looked wild with long, greasy dark hair in disarray. Dirt streaked his face. He smelled as if he hadn't bathed in weeks. The long, brown robe he wore was ripped and slashed, and his boots had holes as if he'd stepped through fire.

And speaking of fire… Another wave of heat rushed through me, followed by an intense cold-burn — what I had been warned to expect preceding my delivery. Crap.

"Could you come back later?" I didn't have time to deal with Nohjen and frankly didn't care to deal with him. Arim and the Storm Lords could handle their Church messes.

"You know, Muri had a cottage much like this one."

Mention of my mother froze me in place. "Excuse me?"

"The bitch pleaded for your life. As if I'd taint myself touching you ." He scoffed, and confusion made my head pound.

"You're saying you killed Muri? My mother?" I stared at the man and pried deeper, aware his thought patterns were anything but normal. "That was over three hundred years ago."

He was a Light Bringer, and they normally averaged a lifespan between one hundred and one hundred fifty years. Unless he was a sorcerer. According to Light Bringer doctrine, it was illegal for sorcerers to involve themselves in affairs of the Church.

He raised a fist, and I saw beads of Light filter through his fingers until he held a ball of white fire. He tossed the ball from hand to hand, his glare measuring, as if waiting for me to show fear.

"Wait a minute." I waved a hand at him, my internal temperature irritating the hell out of me. My back chose that moment to scream in agony, and I sucked in a breath. "Are you telling me you killed my family?"

"Slow, aren't you?" He lost his grin when I froze the fire in his hands into solid ice. "Bitch." He stared at me with a gaze both hungry and loathing. "You'll not suckle such filth on my land, nor taint my world with your Dark breed monsters."

"Okay. Now you're starting to piss me off." One of the little ones in my belly began fighting with the other, and my insides felt warlike. "First off, my children will be Dark and Light breed monsters. Second, if you had anything to do with my family's murder, coming here was a very foolish thing to do."

As I said it, a red haze filled my mind. Control it. Get your answers. Then fry the bastard. Fear never entered the equation, not with centuries of anger waiting inside me. Not to mention my inability to be injured by Light or Dark, now that I carried Arim's precious cargo. My pregnancy had made me nearly indestructible with latent, unborn power.

"Why did you do it?" I managed to say between breaths.

"Why? Because Tanselm is mine." Madness riddled his black-eyed stare. "Because Muri and Esel wouldn't keep their bedamned mouths shut, always trying to fix the Church when it was far from broken. They brought Darkness into our land, and look what it brought us."

"You were there when Arim arrived. You attacked him and pretended it was me."

"He would never be the great sorcerer he is today if I hadn't set him free. Killing them was a pleasure, but helping Tanselm's greatest sorcerer was my honor."

The injustice of it all made my sudden pain pale by comparison. "You've got to be kidding me."

"I'm a creature of Light. We use whatever tools we must to aid Tanselm in its fight against the Dark." Nohjen sniffed and threw a web of Light over me, as if Light magic should have some sort of effect. When nothing happened, he frowned. "Ini decided she wanted you back. When I told her where to find you, she did me a great service. In return for my information, she not only gave me the power to kill the Light Bringers who raised you but granted me an extended life."

I finally felt a measure of peace. I knew the truth, or at least part of it.

As I readied to kill the foolish man to avenge my parents, I asked him one last question. "So it was Ini as well. Was she there that day with you when you killed my parents?"

"It was hard enough to tolerate your mother. I didn't want that Dark bitch anywhere near me if I could help it." He looked offended as he struggled to use another spell on me. When the next jolt of Light settled over my belly like a warm blanket before seeping toward my babies, he looked nervous. Sweat beaded on his forehead.

"Okay, that's it." I ignored the sudden chills racking me, another sign that my body was preparing to give birth. "I'm not bringing my children into the world in front of you. You sanctimonious, hypocritical fhel-sa vehkun ." I ranted and cursed at him and felt the welcome burn of fury behind my eyes as I everything became tinted in a perfect blue.

My stare, when it centered on Nohjen, froze him from the inside out, until he was nothing more than a human icicle. Another wave of my hand and the block shattered, the pieces melting into the wooden floor, only to be absorbed by Tanselm's Dark roots that rose to take the vile Light Bringer away.

The great triumph I thought I'd feel didn't come. Muri, Esel, and Sercha were dead.

Nothing more I did would bring them back. Now that I knew who had been behind it all, I felt whole. Until my babies protested their stay with a mighty kick that broke the water protecting them.