19. Lexa

Chapter 19

Lexa

H ours later, Arim finally let me up to take a shower, something I desperately needed.

He'd made a real mess between my thighs, over my ass, and all over my legs and belly. Hell, the only thing I hadn't done yet was fellate him, but by the look on his face when he glanced at my mouth, I knew that act was not long in coming.

No pun intended.

Close to losing my sanity, I scrambled for the bathroom to see to my needs and for some much-needed privacy.

We'd spent so much time in bed together that only my stomach rumbling, and my need to be clean, had finally forced Arim to cease. I didn't understand his never-ending libido — or mine — not to mention my willingness to accept all of him.

Those pieces of Darkness he allowed me to see only made me want him more. Granted, I had always been attracted to the Dark in things, but in Arim, the feel of his magic mesmerized me. His Light burned, but it was his innate Darkness that beckoned me to be one with him.

As if Tanselm could reach us even in Seattle, I felt that pull to commit myself fully to my lover, the Killer of Shadow. Bemused at the lust once again pooling at the thought of Arim's fierce reputation and strength, I blushed for being a fool and stood under the spray of cool water soothing my sensitive skin.

How had he wormed his way beneath my emotional safeguards, getting me to the point where I now felt devotion instead of hostility? Even now, separated by a small distance, I felt the burning need to close the distance between us and touch him again.

"I missed you," the focus of my thoughts said as he stepped into the shower with me. "Silly, I know, since I just came all over you." He grinned without remorse. "But I'm trying to make up for lost time."

That bothered me too. The raw anger I normally felt when reminded of what I'd been through thanks to our "misunderstanding" was fading. Arim normally enraged me. He didn't make me crave his touch or intensify my need to feel his arms around me.

I sighed. "You're confusing me."

"I know. You want to hate me and be angry with me. But you can't." When I pulled back to look at his face with suspicion, he shrugged. "I'm not reading your mind. I'm feeling the same. For so long we've been at odds, Blue. And it's taken its toll." He shook his head. "I made major mistakes with you before. I won't make them again. Pride bedamned. I love you. I've always loved you. Now that I've found you again, I won't let you go."

I stared at him in shock until he turned the knob on the shower, heating us up. I sputtered and turned the water cooler to a temperature better suited to a Dark Lord's affinity for cold.

Arim just smiled, letting the cooler water slide off his cold-pebbled skin. "I'll do whatever it takes to convince you. I love you, Blue."

He looked so happy saying the words I'd longed forever to hear. But I couldn't help the tendril of fear worming its way inside my heart. I looked away and tried to get a grip on my faltering composure.

"Shh." To my consternation, the Light Bringer hugged me, offering comfort. "I know. You don't believe me, and I don't blame you. But I'm not going away. Not this time." He kissed the top of my head, and I felt his arousal press against the small of my back. "Damn, sorry. Has a mind of its own."

To my surprise, Arim ignored his erection and cleaned me carefully, giving me a killer scalp massage as he worked the shampoo through my hair. I eventually compromised on a warmer temperature, and we soaked in the healing spray of the shower.

Then we dried off with towels that soon disappeared.

"Sava is in big, big trouble when I see him again." Though, being able to see Arim strut around with that impressive body was no hardship, I had to admit.

"Well, I'm not going to thank him. Or Jonas either, for that matter." Arim glanced away from me. " Hell . Look. I have to know. Don't get angry."

I had no clue why he looked so nervous, but I couldn't stop staring. Arim never looked unsure.

"You and Jonas never…" His voice hardened. "You and Jonas aren't involved, are you?"

I couldn't help laughing. "Me and Jonas ?" At my laughter, Arim relaxed. "You asked me that before. Why would you think that?"

"Something Sava mentioned." Arim flushed and tried to turn away, but not before I jumped into his arms, still grinning. I didn't think I'd ever forget that look on his face.

"Are you jealous? "

"Maybe," he grumbled, looking put out. But he didn't move his hands from cupping my ass, holding me against him. A reluctant smile lit his face. "You like that, don't you? That even when I thought the worst of you, I couldn't help feeling you were mine. I wanted to rip Jonas' tongue out whenever he spoke so lovingly about you." Arim's gaze burned, and I tried to tamp the grin threatening to split my face open. "In fact, I will the next time I see the asshole."

"Why, Arim, I think that's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me."

He chuckled and carried me to the sofa, where he dumped me before turning to the kitchen. "I'm going to feed that flat little belly of yours, Blue. Because if I don't, I'm tempted to fuck you again. Damned if I know how you keep doing it to me. If Sava doesn't get here soon with some clothes, I may not spend any time at all outside of that tempting body of yours."

I kept quiet, a bit disturbed I had no complaints about sexing up my Storm Lord for the foreseeable future. Making love with him was exhaustingly perfect. I'd already decided to get as much of it as I could before the outside world intruded. At least this experience would be something to remember fondly when the world turned to shit again, as it no doubt would.

Sighing, I couldn't help wondering about Sin Garu, which brought my thoughts back to Jonas and the others and how I'd positioned all the players. Using Ethim il Ruethe to gather the Sarqua Djinn — those Djinn wanting freedom from Sin Garu's oppression — had been genius.

Ethim had no liking for Dark Lords, but he'd been willing to risk a chance on me if it meant freeing his people from a sadistic Dark Lord sorcerer. It was through him I'd met Jonas.

And Remir.

I wondered again about the Darkling who'd pledged his life and loyalty to me before any of the others had done so. For years, Remir had given me information about his brethren, his affection for me impossible to miss. Just once I'd been weak enough to allow his attentions.

My disinterested body had quickly shown me what a mistake I'd made, even though our intimacy had only tightened Remir's loyalty to me. Which made it unfathomable to believe what I'd seen to be real.

I had been spying on Ethim and his kin a few months back, before my last altercation with Sin Garu. There, I'd prodded Cadmus, the last unwed Storm Lord, to commit to my friend Ellie, who also happened to be Ethim's daughter. To my satisfaction, Cadmus had easily fallen in with my plans, in love with the woman I called a friend.

After that, everything with the rebel Djinn progressed accordingly. And then I had seen Remir and a woman who could have been my double having sex.

I didn't have a twin. I had two brothers, one dead and one nearly so, his body reduced to a shell encasing demons that wanted nothing more than to sink the world around us into chaos. Not wanting to believe what I suspected, I tried to contact Remir but had met with no success. Had I not been injured in my last battle with my egomaniacal brother , I'd have followed up on Remir's disturbing disappearance. At the least, I would have tasked Jonas to investigate the matter.

Jonas. I couldn't help the warmth that filled me at thoughts of Arim being jealous. Despite Jonas' good looks and obvious charm with the ladies, the Darkling had never made me burn the way Arim did. After my less-than-satisfying coupling with Remir, I'd sworn off males, at least until I resolved the regrets in my life.

My plans had been to kill Sin Garu, destroy the Netharat, and find closure in my dealings with Arim. I frowned. How much closer was I now to my goals? I had no magic, no clothing, and nothing more than time to kill as I waited for that idiot, Sava, and that turncoat, Jonas, to return and set me free.

The thought made me pause, because I realized I wasn't sure I wanted to be free, not if it meant leaving this behind. That in itself was cause for alarm. I glanced at Arim, watching the muscles in his body flex as he moved. From here, I could see the strength in his aura, could sense the magic returning to his body even though we both sat under Sava's spell.

My Light Bringer lover had so much power. That innate authority, along with his sexy body, made my mouth water. Just knowing he loved me gave me a thrill, even as his confession worried me.

Love and hate were sides of the same coin, a truth I knew very well.

Arim thought he loved me. I didn't doubt his sincerity, but I did doubt his longevity. We'd been deeply in love before, and he'd ditched me at the first sign of trouble. Okay, I had to admit "trouble" was too bland a word for what had happened to my family. But still.

He should have demanded my explanation. He should have stuck with me through that terrible time, providing the same comfort he so easily gave now.

"Arim?"

"Blue?" He joined me on the couch with a plate of food. To my dismay, I found it difficult to look away from his superbly conditioned frame. He grinned. "Hungry again, baby?"

Embarrassed, I glared at him. "You are in perpetual heat." And so the hell am I . I licked my lips, doing my best to ignore the rise of his impressive cock. "Let me ask this before I lose my train of thought." I ignored his chuckle. "Before, when you mentioned Muri that day it all happened, you said that I attacked you first."

His smiled faded. "You did."

"I don't remember that. I was stunned at what had been done to my family. I was so scared, so sad and confused."

"So angry." Arim reached for me and pulled me into his lap. "The rage in the room was so strong. The violence grew, a shuddering wind of fury that hurt me. For the first time, your Darkness attacked my Light."

"But I didn't." I frowned, my hand over his chest. "I admit I was in shock. But Arim, I know what I did. I didn't strike out at you. I was mired in the Darkness of death around me. The frustration and hurt about killed me, that I couldn't heal Muri or Esel. Sercha was so badly wounded he had no chance." I blinked away tears, not wanting to cry. Lifting my head, I met his gaze square on. "I destroyed the house in a rage. I threw things, crushed the material possessions that had meant so much to my family and were worthless compared to their deaths. But I know I never tried to hurt you. I only struck back to defend myself after you attacked me. "

Arim frowned and replied slowly, in thought, "I was wrong about you killing your family. But I'm not wrong about what happened that day. So if you didn't try to hurt me, then someone else did." He met my shocked gaze with a darkened one of his own. "The killer must have still been there when you, and later I, arrived."

It took me a moment to respond. "I was there for hours. Why didn't the enemy attack me?" I shook my head. "That energy was Dark. We both felt it. I know for a fact Sin Garu didn't do it. I asked around, and his whereabouts back then were confirmed, as were his connections. He was nearly as powerful as Ini." Could she have done it? Ini had been violent enough, for sure.

Arim grimaced. "We looked into Ini's involvement when we learned she was your biological mother. She had a perfect motive, but she didn't do it. We investigated everyone connected with you, Blue. And we learned nothing from the Church we didn't already know."

"From the Church?" I scowled. "The corruption in that ‘sacred' institution rivals the Netharat for sheer evil."

Arim stroked my hair, his calm acceptance easing my anger. "I wish I could disagree with you. Back then, the Church was the voice of reason. For the most part, they acted with good faith to protect and preserve a joyful way of life for Light Bringers. Now, they seem to be little more than vessels distributing hate and prejudice. Sava's mentioned as much. I've been too busy with a certain Dark Lord lately to thoroughly examine the matter."

I met his quick kiss and snuggled into his arms, soothed when I'd initially wanted to fight. Damn it all, Arim made me feel like a well-fed kitten. Any longer in his arms and I'd start purring.

Yet I couldn't make myself leave the comfort of his hold. I scowled at his chest. "None of this makes any sense. If Sin Garu and Balen didn't do it, and the Church says Ini was innocent, then who had motive to kill Muri and Esel? Like you said, the energy in the house was Dark."

"Was it?" Arim loosened his hold around me. I felt his rage quivering to be let loose, and I didn't understand his sudden fury. "Death is a Darkness, especially when murder is involved," he murmured, his voice low, pained. "What if the rage overlying the scene had been staged? What if someone with a sorcerer's skill used the energy surrounding the vicious deaths to trap you ?"

"Why me? I was no one back then."

"You've always been someone." He cupped my chin and stared into my eyes. "You were powerful, the beloved daughter of two famous Light Bringer sorcerers — voices who spoke out for Church reform. They wanted an end to an institution that disagreed with anyone not of Light Bringer descent."

"You think the Church was behind it?" I didn't understand why this mystery surrounding my foster family's demise seemed so urgent all the sudden. As if it had happened yesterday, I felt the terrible burden of grief and anger hardening my heart.

Tension blazed, and I had an abrupt desire for some space. "I need a minute." I nodded toward the bathroom as I rose from his arms.

"Blue —"

"I'll be right out. I promise." I raced into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I stared at myself in the mirror, my eyes wild. Why now? What does it all mean? I shook with suppressed rage, feeling too much when for years I'd existed behind a cold, calculated exterior.

What's happening to me?

Movement behind me had me turning and raising my hands in preparation to strike. I'd just left Arim outside, so I knew he hadn't snuck up behind me. And then I remembered that my magic didn't work here. Shit.

A slap of energy filled the small space as a form coalesced into that of a person I knew.

The green eyes gazing at me were familiar and non-threatening. The glow about the body clearly spoke of the Next.

With horror, I stared at the bleak promise of Tanselm's demise as it approached me on the legs of the deceased.

* * *

ARIM

T he minute Lexa left, I felt as if something had clenched my heart and yanked it hard away. I rubbed my chest, my appetite no longer for anything resembling food and everything that reminded me of the black-haired, blue-eyed spitfire I couldn't stop loving.

Now that I'd released the floodgates, allowing my emotions free rein, I could no longer deny how much Lexa still meant to me.

I could only hope her desire to escape had more to do with bodily need than emotional heartbreak. I could understand the puzzle of her family's death being hard to swallow no matter how they'd died or how much time had passed, but Lexa had to know we were in this together. No more castigation. No more Light versus Dark. Blue and I were a team, and we would be forever, until —

I clutched my chest again, this time in genuine pain. Agony ripped through me. I seized, falling off the couch onto the floor as my mind was torn from the one person in life with whom I shared an unbreakable bond.

Ravyn.