Chapter 17

chapter 17

CEPHARIUS

I went back to Elle's window immediately, waiting for her safe return. She went into a smaller room inside her own, and then came out of it with wet hair, and I realized what she'd been doing—I always found it curious that humans bathed in water, when no kraken in his right mind would bathe in air. She had a towel around her body, but she dropped it to dig through a small chest of drawers, allowing me to see all of her for the first time.

I knew that spying on her was shameful and I should look away, but by the time I could've talked myself out of it, the damage was done. I'd already imprinted her beautiful figure on my memory, the same as I now knew all of the symbols she found so intriguing. She was lithe and lightly muscular, with slender hips and no breasts or mammalian nipples, just a matched set of scars where they might be.

The sight of her scars made me rush to the window. What had hurt her? Was she currently safe? They didn't look fresh, and I'd never gotten any sense of danger from her while in the station—had she been in battle, too?

Or were they ceremonial, like the lines of bruises on her wrists and ankles that I could now see, that I'd given her while bonding ?

My eyes lingered on those for an inappropriate amount of time.

Would that I could cuff her so.

After she'd pulled on clothing, I felt her call to me. "Cepharius?"

I waited a moment before responding. "Of the Sea," I teased, and she laughed.

"I am glad I please you." The thoughts came out before I could stop them, and I watched her tense. "I am sorry to be so informal."

"No," she said. "It's all right." I watched her look around her room. "Where are you right now?"

"Outside your window."

She blinked and turned to look right at me—then realized she'd been naked recently. "How long have you been there?" she asked, panicking, and I got more waves of shame from her, something to do with the man she envisioned—who I decided to hate—and something about the blue-eyed woman, and her scars.

"Not very. I also needed a break from the bond," I managed to lie.

She'd crossed her arms across her chest—she felt violated. Perhaps not by me, but by something in her past.

Let me see you, I wished to beg her. Let my eyes feast on you as though I were starved.

Then she resigned herself and sat down at her desk—before deciding that that wouldn't do. She grabbed the tablet and came closer, sitting against the window with her back to me.

I was worried I was being punished, then she moved her wet hair to one side and I could see the curve of her neck. I reached for her instinctively, like anyone would a lover, only to have my tentacle taste her window's glass.

"Let's start with your symbols first," she thought at me, while she turned on her screen, making a grid. I could see it over her shoulder, and then I felt her pout. "Did you happen to count how many symbols there were across the whole thing?"

"I did not. I can tomorrow."

"Please." She tapped into the grid she'd created. "Okay—give me the first symbol in the uppermost cover. And then we can go down, or across, whatever's easiest for you, as long as we stay organized."

I summoned up my vision and gently pushed it into her mind.

She gasped and tensed.

"Am I?—"

"Hurting me?" she guessed, quicker than I could finish asking. "No, it's just strange, having your thoughts coming this direction."

"It is," I agreed. "Shall I show it to you again?" I asked, and she nodded. "Then relax. Breathe."

"I'm not drowning," she said ruefully—but this time she was more receptive. She took a moment, and then drew what she'd seen. "Is this it?" she asked, holding her tablet up over her shoulder.

"Yes," I told her. "Also, you do not have to lift it. The window is curved. I am slightly above you, and I can see all of you from here."

That made her tense again, and she wriggled to sit in a different way, pulling the neck of her shirt up.

"Is your clothing uncomfortable?" I guessed.

She shook her head. My mind was closer to hers now, so I could read scars-family-sorrow, flittering through her thoughts like the flutter of a sea fan, before being yanked away.

I got the feeling that it wasn't just because of me—that she'd been living clamped down for quite some time.

"Are you ready for the second?" I asked, to change the subject.

She nodded, and I gave it to her.

It took almost two hours for her to get them all, but when we picked up speed, it was a thing of beauty. Me giving and her taking, both of us using all of our concentration on the effort, again and again and again. My pumping arm lowered without me thinking of it, and Balesur was right; I was so heavy with the thought of using it on her in the same way our minds were conversing, that I worried if it so much as tapped against her window it could've shattered the glass.

When we were through, I swam back so that couldn't happen—and so she wouldn't look back and accidentally spot a ninth lower-arm on me.

"What do you make of it?" I asked her, as she started sorting through the pictures.

"I don't know yet." She'd gotten up to get whatever food the other human woman had brought her halfway through, and was eating it hungrily, which pleased me. My mate needed her strength. "I don't think it's from any culture I know, and I have no idea how it got there to begin with. I can't even say with certainty what it is ." She set her plate aside and got up to pace. "Did it used to be a building? Was it public art? A temple? A jail? Or another billionaire's folly—some elaborate ruse, designed to waste Arcus Industrial's money and time?" There were other things concerning her too, I could feel them. I wished I hadn't sworn not to pry. "In any case—I need to spend the rest of the night transcribing the information from my camera feeds. You can go away now," she said, dismissively.

I was not so easily dissuaded. "And just where do you think I would go to, Elle of the Air?"

She pouted out the window. "Were you going to watch me sleep?"

It didn't seem worth lying about. "Yes. I am guarding you, after all."

Her astonishment was obvious. "From what?" she sputtered.

"Currently? You, I think. You are tired. Your camera images can wait. Sleep well tonight and be more fresh tomorrow." Her frown became more prominent. "I am not even reading your mind right now, Elle," I went on. "It is written on your face."

And that brought me a new flavor of her wrath. "Are you saying I look tired?"

I didn't understand. "My job is to care for you. And true caring begins with honesty."

Her jaw dropped, and I realized I might have said something wrong—but then she laughed. "Oh my God, Cepharius?— "

"You can call me Ceph."

She put her fingertips to her temples and rubbed them. "Okay, then—Ceph. Fine. You win. And I hope you're writing this down in a calendar somewhere, because Elle Kepzler doesn't ever let anyone else tell her what to do. But I'll let you put me to sleep like a three-year-old, as long as you promise not to read my mind during my dreams."

I was aghast at the thought. "Oh, no, I would never. Human minds are chaotic enough during the day."

That made her laugh again. "Then it's a deal. Just let me pretend to have some privacy, would you?" she asked, fluttering her hand at the window like I should depart.

"Of course," I said, drifting back a little. "I will not pay attention unless you call me."

I saw her nod, and watched her crawl into bed. She wound herself in her bedding, and I was wishing it were all of my arms wrapped around her instead as I felt a quiet tap from her mind.

"Goodnight, Ceph of the Sea."

"Goodnight, Elle," I said, and I felt her slowly drift off to sleep.

I was a kraken of my word; I did not pay attention to her dreams, but I could not help but think of all my own.

I wanted to keep her. I just didn't know how.

I'd only barely believed the stories of similarly widowed krakens finding second mates, having never met one who had managed it before.

And I knew I'd never heard of a kraken with a human mate—that was the kind of history that would reverberate on the 'qa for several generations.

I felt my stomach sink as I considered what lay ahead for me.

At least the structure was massive. She could be down here for months studying it, with me at her side. And I was so glad that it was just the two of us, and not teams, though I wondered how long it would stay that way.

I also wanted to know how come the humans were so worried about information from it getting out, and what that meant for Elle's future safety. I didn't know anything about the other two humans inside her habitat, but I had had enough dealings with the two-leggeds to understand their ways. While the majority of them were good, the ones that weren't more than made up for it.

Mostly I just felt helpless.

Helpless to change my fate, knowing that once again I was hurtling towards the sharpest pain imaginable.

The only useful thing I could think of to do, was to go and take my frustrations out on the rock that could hurt Elle's all-important cable. I flexed my arms and jetted off at once.