Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

J ulie's hands trembled as she gripped the porch railing. The wood bit into her palms, but the pain kept her grounded as her world tilted sideways. Her throat closed up, making it hard to breathe. The warmth and safety she'd felt in Q'tar's arms hours ago shattered like glass.

He stepped towards her again, his blue skin gleaming in the sunlight. So beautiful and so treacherous.

"No. That's not why I'm?—"

"Don't." She held up her hand and he immediately stopped moving. The familiar ice of betrayal spread through her chest. Just like with Cliff - sweet words hiding darker motives. "I trusted you."

"M'shka, listen to me." His deep voice carried an edge of desperation she'd never heard before. "The most important part of my mission was to protect you. All of his likely contacts are being watched, but I was assigned to keep you safe if he found you."

"And to capture him?" His silence was answer enough and she wrapped her arms around herself. The morning's intimacy felt like a lifetime ago. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"At first it was because it was safer for you not to know." His fists clenched. "Because I didn't want to frighten you with the full scope of his operation. And then… I began to care for you in ways I shouldn't. Ways that compromise my judgment."

The raw honesty in his voice made her pause. Her heart warred with her head - one screaming to run, the other whispering to listen. She wanted to believe him so much, but how could she be sure?

"How can I believe you?" she whispered.

He turned to pace the length of the porch and back.

"I have no words with which to convince you. Especially after I failed you so badly."

"Failed me?"

"I am supposed to be the best at what I do." His words came out harsh, bitter. He stopped moving and faced her, his eyes burning with self-recrimination. "But it didn't occur to me that you might be tracked. And I was too late to prevent those males from touching you."

The memory made her shudder but she did her best to hide it.

"I know it is difficult to trust me, but let me take you away from here," he said. "Somewhere they cannot find you. Somewhere safe where you cannot be tracked."

The offer tempted her - to run, to hide, to forget about Cliff and his crimes. Except… If she could help stop him, prevent him from hurting others the way he'd hurt her, how could she refuse? A spark of defiance flickered to life - the same courage that had helped her escape from Cliff the first time, that had given her strength to testify.

She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. "No."

His expression darkened and she realized he thought she was rejecting his offer because she didn't trust him.

"If you think there's a chance to catch him, I can't leave. I won't allow Cliff to hurt anyone else." Her voice grew stronger with each word. "It's time to stop running."

His eyes met hers, shocked and uncertain.

"If that is truly what you wish I… I can arrange for another bodyguard."

She could see how much the words cost him and her doubts began to ease. He cared enough to let her go, if that was what she wanted.

But it's not what I want.

As much as she hated the fact that he hadn't told her the entire truth, she could believe that he thought he was doing what was best - what was best for her.

"I don't want another bodyguard. I want you."

His eyes flashed to hers, beginning to glow.

"Even after I failed you? After I frightened you with my violence? I saw you flinch away from me," he added, his voice tortured, and her heart ached for him.

It was true that he'd frightened her. He was so fast, so powerful, so ruthless. And yet he'd never touched her with anything other than gentleness. She remembered the way he'd watched over her on the trail, making sure she had time to drink and rest. The way he'd pitched in to help her clean and the way he'd held her after her nightmare. Even when Cliff had been at his most charming, he would never have done any of those things.

The remnants of her earlier fear finally evaporated. He wasn't Cliff, who'd used his strength to dominate and control. Q'tar's power existed to protect, to shelter.

Her bare feet made no sound on the wooden planks as she crossed the porch to him. His skin felt warm beneath her palm as she placed her hand on his arm.

"You didn't fail me," she said softly. "You saved me. Again. And yes, seeing that violence was shocking, but I'm not afraid of you."

She moved closer, putting her hand over his hearts.

"I know you'll never hurt me."

She could hear the truth in her words as she spoke, and perhaps he could too because the blue glow intensified. Her body responded to that heated look and the air crackled between them, electric with desire. She remembered his touch, how he'd made her feel cherished, protected, whole.

She'd spent so long running, so long afraid. But here, with him, she felt brave enough to reach for what she wanted.

"Make love to me," she whispered, the words slipping past her lips before doubt could silence them.

His massive frame went rigid, his muscles tensing beneath her palm.

"Are you certain?"

His voice came out rough, strained, but the raw need in it made her breath catch. But despite that need, he remained locked in place. Even now, he put her first. She patted his chest again, relishing the feel of those warm, hard muscles and marveling at how small her hand looked against his blue skin.

"I am very certain."

He bent towards her, keeping his movements slow and deliberate, watching her face the whole time. When his lips finally touched hers, the kiss was feather-light, questioning. She kissed him back, trying to reassure him that she wanted him, but she could still feel him holding back, his powerful frame trembling with the effort of control.

Smiling against his mouth, she caught his lower lip between her teeth in a gentle nip.

"Take me to bed, Q'tar."

He lifted her into his arms so quickly the world spun dizzily around her, and then she was on the bed, breathless with excitement. He bent towards her then stopped, looking at his hands - looking at the blood on his hands.

"Are you injured?" she asked quickly but he shook his head.

"It's not my blood. I need to wash it off."

He vanished into the bathroom before she could say anything and she sighed. As much as she appreciated the thought, she didn't want anything to interfere with the desire that still pulsed through her veins. She stripped off her clothes, then chickened out and slipped beneath the sheet while she waited.

Her pulse quickened when he returned, gloriously naked. And enormous. His cock looked even larger than before, the broad head glistening. Despite her excitement, a tendril of anxiety curled down her spine as he joined her on the bed. He propped himself up on his elbow, his eyes glowing down at her.

"Don't worry, m'shka." He trailed his finger down her cheek, sending shivers of anticipation through her body. "We'll take it slow. I would never do anything that would hurt you."

"I know," she whispered, and she meant it.