11. Finley

11

FINLEY

S oren was already up and out of the house by time I rose the next morning. However, he left a message on a sticky note next to the coffee maker.

Looking forward to tonight. Have a great day. S

I held it in my trembling hands for a second or two. When I'd wakened and even when I was in the shower, I thought perhaps I'd dreamt my sister's sudden appearance as well as the kiss I'd longed for. It was only after a good scrub under hot water did it truly sink in that it was all real. Be that as it may, I had no idea what to think about any of it.

As I toweled dry and dressed, thoughts of Danielle invaded my thoughts, pushing aside all the anticipation of seeing Soren tonight. I found myself vacillating. Yesterday I'd felt so sure I wanted nothing to do with her. Today, however, I had doubts about my decision. Was I passing up a chance for reconciliation with the only family I had left?

She'd seemed so much better than the last time I'd seen her, when drugs had taken their toll, leaving her malnourished and skinny. Her cheeks had been hollow, and her eyes had the feverish look of someone who needed their next fix. Now, though, she'd looked as she did when we were younger, before she got involved with the beast of a man who led her down the path of destructive behavior.

Danielle was my twin. We'd grown from a divided cell into babies while sharing a womb. Cutting her out of my life when she'd gone to so much effort to find me seemed cruel and perhaps vindictive. On the other hand, I'd spent a year behind bars because of her. Even before then, she'd disrupted my life. Our home when we were growing up was fraught with tension because of her. I couldn't count how many nights when we were teenagers that I'd heard my mother crying in the bathroom. At the time I'd not understood how Danielle could be so cruel. I still didn't. Especially now that we would never have the chance to see them again.

All day, as I welcomed guests and answered questions, Danielle was never far from my mind. The fact that she was only ten minutes away made my head spin. Ten minutes. After the years of estrangement I now had the chance to reconcile with her. But was it what I wanted? Would it even be for the best, or were we better off apart?

As I moved around the office, putting out cookies and milk for our guests, unwelcome memories clawed their way into my memory. One episode from our past surfaced as if it had happened yesterday.

We were sixteen that spring.

The late-afternoon sun filtered through the sheer curtains of our cozy living room, casting a warm, golden glow. I sat curled up on the couch, a book open on my lap, my fingers lightly tracing the words on the page. The house was peaceful, the only sound the distant hum of the television from the den where Dad was watching a game.

From the kitchen, the clatter of dishes and the aroma of Mum's chicken and leek pie wafted through the air. Mum hummed softly to the radio as she moved about.

The tranquility was soon shattered as Danielle stormed into the room, her face flushed with anger. She flung herself dramatically onto the armchair opposite me, crossing her arms and letting out an exaggerated sigh.

Mum appeared in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, wiping her hands on a dish towel. "What's wrong, Danielle?" Mum asked, her voice tight.

Danielle huffed, her eyes narrowing. "You know what's wrong. It's not fair, Mum! It's just one party!"

I glanced up from my book, knowing better than to interrupt when Danielle was angry or agitated. If I could escape to my room, I would, but it was impossible without bringing unwanted attention to myself. The last thing I needed was to be pulled into Danielle's drama.

Mum tugged on her dangling earring, clearly distressed. "We've talked about this. Your grades are slipping, and you need to focus on your schoolwork. There will be other parties."

"But everyone's going to be there! It's so unfair!" Danielle's voice rose, frustration evident in every word.

"Your sister's not going," Mum said.

"Oh my God, Mum. Only because she wasn't invited."

Apparently not everyone was going to be there, I thought, somewhat bitterly.

"If your grades were good and you'd been allowed to go, I would have made you take Finley with you," Mum said.

"She was not invited," Danielle said, emphasizing each syllable. "Which is not my fault, by the way, even though you just love to blame everything on me."

Mum closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, the expression on her face so full of pain that I had to look away.

Dad, surely having heard the commotion, entered the room, his brow furrowed. "What's going on here?" He ran a hand over his balding pink scalp, looking unbearably weary. It was a Friday night, and he'd worked hard all week. All he wanted to do was watch the football game and eat Mum's yummy pie.

"Danielle wants to go to a party tonight," Mum explained. "But she has homework to catch up on."

Danielle shot up from her seat, her hands on her hips. "Dad, you understand, right? It's just one night! I have all weekend to do my stupid homework."

Dad sighed, glancing at Mum briefly before turning his attention back to Danielle. "Danielle, your mother's right. School comes first. You can go to the next party once your grades improve."

Danielle's face contorted with anger. "You're all against me! It's always the same. You never let me do anything fun! I hate you."

With that, she stormed out of the room, her footsteps echoing through our small flat. Mum shook her head, returning to the kitchen, while Dad let out a fatigued sigh and sank into his easy chair. He picked up the remote and turned the telly on, staring at the screen with the sound muted.

I remained silent, my gaze drifting back to my book. However, tears stung my eyes, rendering the page blurry and unreadable. Why wasn't I invited to parties? You know the reason , I whispered silently to myself. I was a nerd. For the hundredth time of late, I promised myself that when I went to university I was going to reinvent myself into someone fun-loving and positive. I'd be away from Danielle by then and able to live my own life without being the nerdy twin.

"Finley, sweetheart, are you okay?" Mum asked, returning to the living room.

I looked up, offering a weak smile. "I'm fine, Mum."

She smiled back, a hint of sadness in her eyes. "You know, these parties she's concerned with are unimportant in the grand scheme of your life."

"Still, it would be nice to be included," I said in a small voice. "I don't have any friends." I didn't say that Danielle had been my best friend when we were little girls. Until hormones seemed to alter the very essence of her personality. I missed her dreadfully, even though we shared a room. The Danielle I'd known had disappeared, leaving me alone to navigate the teenage years without her.

"You have more important things to pursue," Mum said. "All your studying and hard work will lead you to a great career. Which will be much more fulfilling than some silly party."

I nodded, appreciating the sentiment even though at the moment I'd have liked to have received an invite to the party. It wasn't until years later that I realized how true her words had been.

As Mum returned to the kitchen, I took a deep breath, flipping the page of my book. Disappearing into a novel was something no one could take away from me. Not even Danielle.

Now my thoughts were interrupted when a guest entered the office asking for additional towels. I promised to bring them right away, grateful for the distraction.

I was lucky to have a new life, I reminded myself. With satisfying work and a beautiful place to live. And now, the possibility of something special developing with Soren. Life was unpredictable. If nothing else, I could count on that to be true.

That evening, the bar and grill bustled with activity. The room was filled with the sounds of laughter, clanking silverware, and country music playing softly in the background. I glanced at Soren as we walked in, feeling a flutter of excitement in my chest. He looked handsome as always, his rugged charm making my knees weaken into wobbly twigs. Freshly shaven and smelling of a spiced aftershave, he wore a pair of jeans and a plaid shirt that stretched over his muscular frame. He'd rolled up his sleeves, revealing muscular forearms, tanned from long days of hard work under the Montana sun.

What was it about him exactly that I found irresistible? As was often the case when it came to chemistry, it was impossible to pinpoint exactly. Perhaps it was his effortless masculinity and confidence that came from a life spent taming this rugged part of the world. Whatever it was, he had my attention. More so than any man in my life thus far.

He took my hand and led me over to a cozy corner booth. I felt small and feminine next to his comforting and solid presence. An anchor in the storm. An anchor I'd searched for since my parents' deaths.

"You good?" Soren asked.

"Yes, I'm determined not to think about Danielle tonight. I prefer focusing all my attention on you."

He grinned, running a hand over his short hair. "I like that plan." There was a warmth in his eyes, a gentle affection that he rarely showed but that made me feel cherished and safe.

I'd been so wrong about him. So very wrong.

As we slipped into our booth, I couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement and nervousness. I'd prepared with more attention to detail than usual, curling my hair into loose waves, applying makeup carefully, and wearing my favorite sweater and pair of skinny jeans.

Soren's presence felt reassuring despite my nerves. The way he looked at me, with those intense eyes, made me feel like the most important person in the world.

A waitress brought us menus and took our drink orders—a beer for Soren and a white wine for me.

"What're you getting?" I asked, my eyes scanning the options.

He leaned closer. "Not to be rude or anything, but nothing's that good here."

"Not compared to Caspian's restaurant," I said. "But that's a high bar."

The server returned with our drinks. We both ordered a burger before the server hustled off to his next table.

Soren lifted his mug. "To our first date."

I clinked my glass against his, nodding and grinning like an idiot. "To us."

We chatted easily as we sipped our drinks, the conversation flowing naturally from subject to subject. He told me more about growing up on the ranch with his four brothers, at one point relaying a story about the time he and Thad had thought it was a good idea to prove their toughness by sleeping outside in a tent. "Only until we heard the bear outside. Then we were practically clinging to each other, waiting for our unwanted guest to leave."

"Did he?" I asked.

"Yeah, eventually, we heard him lumber off. Seconds later, we were in the kitchen calling for Mama and Pop."

Just as our food arrived, I noticed Soren's expression change, his eyes fixed on something behind me. The hairs on the back of my neck lifted. I turned to see Danielle stumbling toward us, her movements unsteady and a half-empty drink in her hand.

"Finley! Fancy seeing you here!" Danielle slurred, her voice loud and grating.

"Danielle?" I whispered. "What are you doing here?"

Danielle swayed slightly as she tried to focus on me. "I waited all day for you to call, and when you didn't I decided to come enjoy myself."

"I thought you were sober," I said.

"I was. But then yesterday, my own sister rejected me, after I came halfway across the world to make amends, and I thought, screw it, I'm going to get a drink. What else do I have?"

"But you were doing so well," I mumbled, fighting tears. By now, the tables around us were staring.

Danielle laughed bitterly. "Oh, come on, Finley. Don't be such a Goody Two-shoes, especially because you're the reason I'm here drinking. You think you're better than me now, don't you? With your new life and your new…boyfriend?"

I glanced at Soren, feeling a surge of embarrassment and frustration. "I'm not trying to be better than you," I replied, trying to keep my composure even as my eyes filled with hot tears. "I just want you to be okay."

Danielle scoffed, her eyes narrowing. "Spare me the lecture. You always were the golden child. Oh, you made sure Mum and Dad knew you were perfect in every way—always doing everything right while I messed up." She turned to Soren. "Little Miss Perfect could do no wrong in my parents' eyes. It was nauseating."

"That's not even remotely true," I murmured under my breath.

"It is so." Danielle gestured at me with her drink, spilling some of it on her blouse.

Anger surged, rendering me unable to hold back from lambasting her. "They were too busy worrying about you to notice me at all. Everything was always about you. What would misguided, tempestuous Danielle do next? How could we all stop our lives to make sure she was all right?"

Danielle sneered. "Wouldn't they have been shocked to see you in prison? Robbing a bank, no less. Mum would have been mortified."

"But I didn't rob a bank. You did."

"Yeah, and I got away with it." She pursed her lips and shook her head as if full of sympathy. "Poor little Finley. Always taking the hard way when the easy one's right in front of your face."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying not to cry.

"We're having dinner," Soren said gruffly to Danielle. "If you don't mind?"

"What? You're not going to invite me to eat with you? How rude." Danielle glared at him through bloodshot eyes. How long had she been in here? God only knew how many drinks she'd had. Thankfully, she could walk back to the motel or she might hurt someone.

"We're on a date," I said.

"Yeah, I can see that. I never pegged you as the type who liked lumberjacks." Danielle smiled sloppily at Soren. "But I have to admit, you're sexy as hell. If you're ever interested in dating the fun twin, look me up."

"When hell freezes over," Soren said.

"You've always been jealous of me." Danielle whipped her gaze back to me as if Soren hadn't spoken. "Admit it. You wanted to be popular and have friends and get invited to parties and all that. But no one liked you."

"That's not true," I whispered.

"It's true and you know it." She turned to Soren. "When we were teenagers, she stayed home every night reading one of her stupid books while I was out with the popular kids. I couldn't wait to get away from her. Frightfully dull, that's my sister." She returned her attention to me. "Do you know how embarrassing you were to me? Everyone knew what a prude and butt-kisser you were. They used to make fun of you. Did you know that? The whole class."

The weight of her words hit me hard. Tears welled in my eyes. I stood abruptly, my chair scraping against the floor. "Just leave me alone. Don't call or write to me or anything ever again. And get out of my town. I made a new life despite you almost ruining it. I was right. You're poison. I'm done with you. Do you understand?"

"Whatever. If you want to live in this godforsaken land of fake cowboys, then what's it to me? But you can't say I didn't try. This is all your fault, not mine."

"I'll be outside," I said to Soren.

"I'll pay and be right there," he said softly.

I pushed past my sister and fled the bar, tears streaming down my face. Outside, the cool autumn air hit me, and I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to keep the sobs at bay. I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see Soren approaching, concern etched on his face.

"Hey there," he said softly, placing a gentle hand on my back, then drawing me into an embrace, kissing the top of my head. "Come on, let's get out of here."

I nodded, unable to speak, and climbed into the passenger seat of his truck. As we drove away from the bar, my tears flowed in earnest. Soren reached across the seat and placed a hand on my knee. He didn't ask me to quit crying or try to comfort me with platitudes—just allowed me to feel my sadness and hurt.

The road led us away from town and into the countryside, the moon and stars illuminating the night.

"There's a spot by the river I like. Do you want me to drive out there?" Soren asked. "It's pretty on a night like this."

"Sure. That would be fine." I dabbed at my eyes, my spirits low despite the comfort he provided. One day in town, and she'd already wreaked havoc on my life.

Soren turned down a windy road that eventually led us to a quiet spot by the river. He parked in a patch of dirt that served as a parking lot and pulled over, turning off the engine. We sat in silence for a moment, the only sound the gentle rustling of leaves in the breeze. He reached out to take my hand, his touch warm and reassuring.

"I'm so sorry, Soren," I said, my voice breaking. "I didn't expect her to be here. Can you believe I actually fell for her sober act?"

He shook his head. "You have nothing to apologize for. You're not responsible for her actions. And, of course, you believed her. You always see the best in people."

I looked up at him, pain and vulnerability thick in my chest. "Is that true? Because if it is, then I'm a chump. Especially when it comes to my sister."

He squeezed my hand gently. "Never apologize for seeing the positive. It's a wonderful quality."

"It takes great effort to stay this way. I didn't tell you the truth exactly about my sunny disposition. I had to work for it."

"What do you mean?" Soren asked.

"When I was a kid, I was quiet. A wallflower type. My sister shone so bright—so bright there was no room for me to catch even a ray. When our parents died and I went to university, I made a conscious decision to be different. I wanted to make friends and get invited to parties, instead of being such a nerd. I decided to pretend to be outgoing and lighthearted and to always see the positive."

"It must have been tiring—all that pretending," Soren said gently.

"No, it's not. The more I practiced gratitude and positive thinking, the easier it became. I came to understand that life is what you make of it. How you see things is the way they become. It's easy, until Danielle reappears in my life."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart."

Sweetheart . Gosh, that word sounded nice coming from his mouth and directed at me.

I followed his gaze, taking in the beauty of the night. The river water was like a mirror, reflecting the stars and the moon. The world seemed serene and magical here.

"What she said was meant to hurt you," Soren said softly. "I hope you can see that's all she wants."

"But why?"

"Because she's so jealous of you she can't see straight. She may talk a big game, but she wishes she could be like you. She probably always did."

"I had hope she'd changed," I said. "So stupid."

"Not stupid. She's your family, your twin. Of course you want to believe she's sorry for the past and here to make amends."

"What she said wasn't true—about my parents. She took all of their attention and worry. There was never anything left for me. She sucked it all up."

"I don't say this to try to placate you, but it doesn't mean they didn't love you. It was just that they didn't have to fret over you and could trust that you were going to be all right."

"I'm sure you're right, even though it hurt at the time."

"How could it not?" He picked up my left hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing each of my fingers. "I hate thinking of you sad and lonely. Yet if you think about it, you've won. You're the one with the great life. You were brave enough to start over after what she did to you. Don't let her steal your joy. You've fought too hard for it."

I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder. "Thank you."

"Any time."

We sat holding hands, looking at the sky for a few minutes. A rustle outside the truck startled me. I shifted in the direction of the noise. Glittering eyes stared back at me.

"Please tell me that's not a bear," I said, my heart in my throat.

Soren squinted. "Um, actually, it is. Let's be on our way before he decides we're trouble." He started the ignition, backing out of the dirt patch used for parking on this particular spot on the river.

"Welcome to a dating in Montana," Soren said, grinning. "Never a dull moment."

"It's time to go home and check on Dog anyway." I returned his grin, suddenly feeling less on edge than I had when we'd left the bar. "Are you hungry? We didn't have the chance to eat."

"We can pop into the kitchen at the restaurant. Caspian's bound to take pity on us."

"I hope they have some of Elliot's chocolate cake left by the time we get there."

He squeezed my hand. "If they don't, I'll drive to the ends of the earth to get it for you."

I laughed. "That won't be necessary. Even without chocolate, your company is preferable to anything else."