39. A Non-Date Date

A Non-Date Date

"What was I thinking," Hadley whisper-shouted into the lobby phone as she turned her back to Hazel, who was practically hanging over the counter trying to listen. I really need a cellphone.

"Girl, calm down. Hanging out with Josh is like hanging out with a less mature version of me. You'll be fine."

"You know I don't date!"

"Then don't date."

"But I already said yes, and I don't wanna be a flake."

"You can still go to dinner with him. Just keep things friendly and talk about neutral topics and if you run out of things to say, default back to Littlefoot, who I can't wait to meet by the way."

"Okay, okay. You're right."

Meghan chuckled into the phone. "Always. I can't believe he even worked up the nerve."

"What do you mean, the nerve? The nerve for what, Meghan?"

"Just that he told Andrew you were cute after he met you at Amelia's party. But that was like half a year ago."

"What!"

"Yeah, Andrew couldn't wait to tell me. I didn't tell you because I figured he'd never do anything about it. Good for Joshy."

"No, not good for Joshy, Meg! We literally just agreed I wouldn't date."

"Calm down, Had. If you want to keep things friendly, he will totally pick up on that."

"If you say so."

"I do," she laughed.

"If this blows up, Meghan, I blame you."

"Understood," she giggled. "Call me tomorrow. And order the shepherd's pie! It's delicious."

"That I can do. Thanks, Meg. Okay, let me go head upstairs before Hazel turns this conversation into one of her soap operas."

"You know there's a simple solution. If you just got a cell, you wouldn't have to whisper in the lobby."

"Too bad I just spent all my extra money on cat food, cat litter, cat toys…"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Speaking of, I better get back to her before I have to change and head out."

"He's not picking you up?"

"No, I wanted to drive."

"In case you need to flee," Meghan amused.

"That's exactly what your brother said."

"Haha, that's funny. See, he's managing expectations. You'll be fine. Okay, have fun!"

"Bye, Meg." Hadley hung up the phone, untangling the cord from her fingers and waving at Hazel on her way to the stairwell. Once back inside her apartment, Hadley took a look around, eventually spotting Littlefoot hidden in the corner. "It's okay, girl. It's just me."

Hadley sat on the couch, pulled a blanket over her legs and grabbed Little Women to continue reading. A few minutes later Littlefoot stood up, arched her back in a big stretch, and walked over to the couch to curl up next to Hadley's leg. Hadley sighed, realizing the silence no longer felt loud, it was once again relaxing. She was able to protect her independence while having a companion to share her love and life with. Settled in, she lost track of time until two hours later her internal clock jolted her. Littlefoot must have sensed the panic because she jumped off the couch and retreated to the corner. "Sorry girl. Didn't mean to scare you,"she said, frantically navigating her apartment, suddenly very nervous and very out of time.

"Are you going to be okay by yourself? Should I cancel?" Littlefoot, who was back on the couch, responded with a meow and rolled to her side. "You're no help. You only like Josh because he helped get you rescued." Hadley shook her head when she realized she was already turning into that person who had full conversations with their pets. She walked back over to her mirror and applied mascara and pulled the top half of her hair into a high ponytail. She pursed her lips, staring at her Goodwill navy fitted sweater dress that landed mid-thigh. She tugged at the oversized turtleneck before she shrugged and walked toward the front door. She felt a sudden need to circle back to check her reflection one last time, unsure why it mattered. Once she decided she looked good enough for this non-date date, she gave Littlefoot a gentle back scratch and headed out.

Josh was already sitting at the table when she arrived. She rubbed her sweaty hands against her knit dress as the hostess guided her to the table. "Hey," Josh looked up at her as she pulled out her chair to sit. "Oh shoot, I should've grabbed that for you."

"That's okay," Hadley waved him off.

"You look great."

"Thank you," Hadley blushed, despite herself.

"The waiter came around before you got here so I already ordered a drink. Can I get you one, too?"

"Water's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, but I am hungry. How about an app instead?"

"Sounds great. Do you like bruschetta? Or they have fried calamari that's pretty good."

"Don't laugh but I don't think I've had either of those before."

"Okay, not to worry. Let's see, do you like tomatoes?" Hadley nodded. "Okay, let's go with the bruschetta then."

"Sounds good." Hadley fiddled with her cloth napkin, folding and unfolding the corner. Moments later the waiter returned to the table and introduced himself to Hadley as he placed a drink in front of Josh. Hadley's breath caught when she realized what it was. Bourbon. She'd been to plenty of girl's nights, but no one ever had bourbon. They always ordered the same fruity and fun drinks that her mom used to enjoy. The last time she saw bourbon was when it was splashing out of a tumbler in her father's unsteady hand as he yelled at her to leave.

"We'd like to start with the bruschetta and just water for her." Josh said to the waiter. "Thank you."

Hadley stilled.

"Are you okay?" Josh asked as he took a sip from his bourbon on the rocks.

"I'm – I'm okay."

"Are you sure? You look like you saw a ghost."

"Yeah." Hadley took a deep breath as her eyes welled up. "I'm sorry, I think this was a mistake."

"The bruschetta?"

"No, I mean coming here. I'm sorry, Josh, I have to go."

Hadley set her napkin on the table, ready to push her chair back as Josh interjected. "Hang on, hang on. What's wrong? Talk to me. I can see you're really upset and I'm sorry if I did something."

"It's not you," Hadley dabbed the bottom of her eyes with the side of her pointer finger to avoid letting any tears spill. "I feel so ridiculous right now,"Hadley shrugged. "I just don't date."

"This doesn't need to be a date. I already ordered the bruschetta, and it would be a shame to eat it alone. I mean, it wouldn't be the first time, but it would still be a shame." When Hadley let out her own small smile, he sighed with relief.

"I guess…"

With an anxious gulp of his drink, Josh continued, "Only if you want to. The bruschetta is really good though and the shepherd's pie here is excellent."

Hadley looked up at Josh as her smile grew. "That's what your sister said."

"She knew we'd get bruschetta?"

"No, that the shepherd's pie is amazing."

"Oh right. It is… worth sticking around for, some might say?"

"Okay." Hadley smiled at the goofy look on Josh's face and forced her shoulders to drop as she blew out a breath. They sat quietly at the table; Hadley's silence was from embarrassment while Josh was afraid to say the wrong thing. As if on cue, the waiter interrupted the otherwise awkward moment to deliver Hadley's water and a long rectangular plate of bruschetta. "This does look good."

"Should we order now, or did you want a minute to be sure?"

"We can order." Hadley was surprised by his patience and understanding, especially since she hadn't given much of an excuse for why she almost bolted.

"Okay, if you're sure." Once Josh saw her nod, he shifted his gaze to the waiter. "Can we get two of the shepherd's pie entrees, please? Thank you." The waiter jotted it down before he walked away. Josh returned his focus to Hadley and thanked her for staying while handing her a small appetizer plate. He pushed the platter slightly toward her, which made it easier for Hadley to grab her own piece.

Hadley took a small bite followed quickly by a second larger bite. "Oh, this is good. Tangy but fresh."

Josh laughed. "One of my favorites. It's so easy too. I mean it's bread, tomatoes, garlic, balsamic. But whatever they do with those ingredients is magic."

"Definitely magic." They sat in a comfortable silence as they worked their way through the platter. Josh eyed her plate as a smile formed. "I'm so glad you're not afraid to eat."

"What do you mean?"

"I've been on many first dates–" Hadley's eyebrows shot up causing Josh to choke on his bite. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "I just mean, I've seen a lot of girls, in general, pretend a quarter of a salad was all they needed. It's refreshing to see you're a real human."

"Oh." Hadley laughed. "You'll never have to worry about that with me." Hadley took a dramatic bite and let out a satisfied mmm, causing Josh to choke for a different reason.

After a few minutes of focusing on his food, trying to forget the noise he just heard, he decided to press his luck. "So, I don't want to bring up the past or anything…" Hadley looked up at him and cocked her head. "You know, from before appetizers."

Hadley laughed. "Oh, that past."

"You don't need to answer this, but you really did look upset. I wanted to make sure I didn't say or do anything stupid. I wouldn't want to hurt you – or any of my friends," he added quickly.

Hadley took another bite of bruschetta, chewing dramatically to make sure it was obvious her mouth was full. Josh took another sip of his drink before wiping at the condensation on the outside of the rounded glass. "You didn't do anything."

"Okay…"

"Well, I mean, you did, but not on purpose. It's more of a me thing." Josh nodded slowly. Hadley gulped down her ice water before blurting out, "your bourbon."

"I'm sorry. It was pretty stupid to start ordering for myself before you even showed up. The waiter had come over and I didn't want to be rude to him, but I guess I was rude to you in exchange."

"No, it's not that," she sighed. "My dad, um. Well anyway, he used to drink bourbon – still does – and he's not a nice guy. The bourbon always made him really mean to me."

"Oh, I see why a bourbon showing up to the table would bother you. That must've been rough for you and your mom growing up."

"Actually my mom died when I was thirteen. She had cancer. I think he was a decent guy back then, at least as far as I can remember. Once my mom died, he started drinking nonstop and that's when the anger surfaced. It sucked."

"I'm really sorry. For all of it. I definitely should've asked Meghan to tell me more about you ahead of tonight, but I was planning on just grilling you with 100 questions," Josh smiled. "I can have the waiter take the rest of my drink away."

"No, it's okay. Thank you, though."

"Thanks for telling me. That's a shitty situation."

"Yeah," Hadley shrugged. "So, what about you? Your parents seemed nice when I met them. Meg always has great things to say about them."

"They're the best. They love a little too hard sometimes, but they mean well."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Hadley said as the waiter delivered their entrees. Hadley's mouth dropped at the wide rimmed white porcelain plate set in front of her. The perfectly shaped beef topped with a crispy mashed potato and set in a rich, dark gravy was nothing like the meals she was used to. When she looked over at Josh to smile, she realized he must've handed off his drink. "Looks delicious."

"I can't wait to dive into this. I'm always a member of the Clean Plate Club when I come here."

"My kind of club," she giggled.

Josh spent the next ten minutes talking about his childhood. He shared stories of how his parents hovered and worried a lot but that it all came from a place of love and how Meghan treated him like a babydoll while Liam mainly ignored him. "Meghan's six years older than me and Liam is two years older than her. He didn't care too much about his very annoying little brother. We get along great now, but it wasn't really like that until I was in college."

"It all sounds nice to me. Can I ask how old you are? It just dawned on me that I don't know."

"I'm twenty-seven. I know enough to not ask you that back."

"It's fine. I'm twenty-four." Hadley reddened. "I guess I should've told you how young I was before I agreed to go on a date with you."

"Ah, but it's not a date, right, so you're excused."

"Well played. Just two friends enjoying some meat and potatoes."

"You got that, right. And for what it's worth, you're not too young. You seem really smart and independent. And pretty. Probably the prettiest friend I have, Andrew aside."

"Andrew's definitely prettier than me."

"Is that so?"

Hadley nodded as they both started laughing. They continued the good-natured banter while they cleaned their plates and the caramel apple bread pudding they ordered after.

"I might not eat again for a week," Hadley groaned as they walked toward the parking lot.

"It was worth it."

"So worth it." They walked to Hadley's car first so she could hand him the cat carrier. "Thanks again for letting me borrow this. I stopped on my way home from the shelter to get everything Littlefoot could possibly need."

"No problem. Is she settling in okay? I can't believe I never even asked about her."

"It's okay. Yeah, she's a little timid but seems to enjoy my couch. Curled up like she's lived there her whole life."

"That's so great. Either pets acclimate really well, or they spend a few days hiding in fear. I'm glad to hear it went smoothly."

Hadley smiled as she shut her backseat door and moved toward the driver's door. "Thank you for dinner, it was nice. I'm sorry for freaking out in the beginning."

"That's okay. You wouldn't be the first girl who wanted to end a date with me early," he chuckled.

"Not a date though, right? So, I'm in the clear."

"Right," he nodded. "Have a good night, Hadley." He took half a step toward her but stopped himself, instead pivoting so he could walk to his own vehicle.

"You, too."

Hadley smiled the whole way home. She thought maybe it could've been a date. They spent most of the time having easy conversations and making each other laugh, though it felt different and more intimate than when she did the same thing with Meghan or the girls. She decided if Josh were to ask her again, she'd say yes to a date and give it a try, just to see. He seemed to hear her loud and clear though, so the prospect felt unlikely.

Pulling into her complex, she parked the car and was happy to at least have someone, something waiting for her at home.