22. Its Been Great, But.

It's Been Great, But...

Hadley slept soundly but woke up tired. That happened often, lately. This morning she stole a few sips of her father's coffee. Not enough where he would notice but hopefully enough to jolt her nerves into action. Her nose scrunched up as the surprisingly bitter taste still lingered on her tongue, even as she set her backpack down under the desk at Daisy & Daffodil an hour later.

"It smells different in here," Hadley commented as she walked toward the coolers to check the thermometers and hygrometers, ready to start her week.

"You have a keen nose."

Hadley smiled. "Hmm, I smell lilacs and… jasmine? But there's something new… not sure. It smells sweet. Did we get a new flower? Oh! Is it the sweet alyssum you told me about?"

Steve smiled at this, proud of Hadley's memory and growing interest in flowers. "The alyssum should be here by Friday. They'll smell like honey, right now what you're smelling are fresh glazed donuts. There's a shop down the road that makes ‘em piping hot on the spot."

"Oh, wow! That's so much better than more flowers," Hadley giggled.

"Equally as good anyway."

"Right…" Hadley cringed. "So, what's the occasion?"

"I thought we oughta celebrate your last week of summer."

"Is that this week? I didn't even realize…" Hadley tried not to panic. She knew exactly what that meant. It was definitely not a reason to celebrate.

"You haven't been school shopping yet? Do you need any school supplies? There's plenty of notebooks and pens in the back room if you need."

"That's super nice of you, but I'm okay. I have left over from last year." Hadley smiled. Don't freak out.

"If anything changes, help yourself."

"Thank you." Her smile was small, but she did her best to look appreciative.

"Speaking of helping yourself, don't be shy."

Hadley, startled out of her thoughts, glanced up at the old man.

"You can grab yourself a donut, I mean. They're best when the glaze is still warm. There's a milkshake, too. I wasn't so sure you were old enough for coffee so played it safe."

"Turns out I'm not a fan of coffee, so well played," she giggled as she shook away the memory of the acrid drink. She turned the corner to find the cardboard box of donuts with grease already soaked through around the corners. She pulled one out and couldn't help but grow wide eyed. "Whoa, they definitely look as yummy as they smell." Her smile cracked wider when she spotted the milkshake, complete with whipped cream and little bits of chocolate shavings. She took a big suck in from the straw and let out an elated sigh.

"Shake okay? It's a fudge ripple flavor."

"More than okay! This is good. Like, crazy good."

"Happy to hear. You enjoy the donuts and shake. I'll take the lead on opening the shop."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, quite sure. I already snuck a few donuts before you got here." He patted his stomach and winked at Hadley before beginning the shop's morning routine.

Hadley polished off her first donut allowing herself to enjoy the creamy vanilla and strong cacao flavors of her shake, before grabbing a second glazed donut. Guilt blossomed inside her knowing that her boss was doing the entire morning routine alone. She scarfed down the end of her second donut and took one last long slurp of her milkshake.

Whoa. The cold froze her throat and gave her an immediate brain freeze. In that moment, overwhelmed by the temporary pain, Hadley realized just how significant the day was. If he knew she started school next week then he probably knew what he wants to do with her. Will he fire her? Change her hours to after school? She didn't know which option sounded worse.

She took a deep breath and while her brain defrosted, she decided to ignore the weight on her chest and get to work. She wouldn't bring anything up unless Steve did. Instead, she spent the whole shift distracted but busy. She cleaned every table, wrote down every order, and hyper-focused on every single detail. She was determined to find balance. She thought if she moved faster, maybe she could leave faster, but no such luck.

All the same, the morning flew by and before she knew it, it was time for her to pack up. She took a deep breath in and a slow breath out. Time to get to the horses. Everything's better with the horses.

"Before you head out, I wanted to check with you on what you plan to do for the school year."

Of course he would bring it up. Now what. "Oh?" Hadley kept her voice light almost like she hadn't heard him.

"Have you talked with your pare- uhm, I mean, your father about it? Is he on board with you working during the school year or would you rather keep this to a summer job?"

"Not recently but I know he wants me to keep working."

"How about you, do you want to keep working?"

No. "Yes… It's been great, but I'll have school until 2:30 and then need to walk here. I wouldn't be able to start until 3:30. Which I know is late, so I understand if that's not good for you." Hadley was rambling, partially wishing to get fired, even though it would infuriate her father.

"Nonsense, that would be fine. We can swap you from morning duties to the afternoon. That'll work out for me anyway. Now that you're a pro around here, it'll be nice to have you for the afternoon rush."

"Okay, that sounds great," she lied.

"How does 3:30 until 6:30 sound? I usually flip the sign around 6 or 6:15, but it takes a few minutes' worth of cleaning before I lock the doors and head out."

"That works!"Lie.

"Great. We can keep you working in the mornings this week and make the change on your first day of school. Does that sound alright?"

"Sounds good." Another lie.

"Wonderful. You're free to go for the day. Thank you for the help!"

"You're welcome." Hadley waved at Steve as she stumbled out the front door. She tripped over her feet a few times as her pace picked up, desperate to get to the farm. Desperate to see Snow White. She slowed down after a few minutes until she completely stopped. Why am I rushing? She knew when she got to the farm she'd have to tell Dorothy the update. If Steve remembered the start of her school year, then she felt certain that Dorothy would have, too.

She took the rest of the walk slowly. Practicing different versions of the conversation in her head. She thought about the possible outcomes. Could she help on the weekends? What time did it get dark? Could she help before bed during the week? Or maybe before school in the mornings? Do horses sleep in?

Calm down. A few cars flew past before Hadley realized she wasn't moving. Her breath was lodged deep in her throat, unwilling to pass through. Just breathe. Nothing. It wasn't until the next car zipped past her that her senses reacted. She let out a loud exhale and a few audible gasps for fresh air. She bent slightly and placed her hands on her knees.

Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump. She focused on the fast vibration of her heart until the sound slowed down.

As her heart rate regulated, so did her breathing. She straightened up and resumed her walk. She spent the rest of the journey convincing herself that she could balance it all and by the time she approached Dorothy's front door, she had her speech mastered. She was ready to convince Dorothy of the same lie she told herself. She could still do it all. You'll see! It'll be easy. Just give me a week to settle into the routine, she'd tell Dorothy when questioned. You got this.

Plastering a big smile on her face, Hadley pushed the front door open and let out an excited "Hey Dorothy!"