Chapter 15

The shrill sound of a phone ringing wakes me from my nap and as I stretch with a yawn, Mr Danvers knocks on my door hesitantly. A moment later he pushes the door open and peeks round the corner. There's a smudge of mud on his cheek, and his grey eyebrows look more bushy than usual.

"It's the lord, Miss." He frowns, thick furrows forming on his forehead.

"Oh. Thank you." Clearing my throat, I take the phone from him.

"Is everything alright, Arianwen? Danvers says that you've been more…energetic lately, and that isn't like you." Carver's voice sounds tense, panicked almost.

Before I can respond, he exhales with a soft chuckle. He continues, not expecting me to reply, so familiar with my silence by now. "But then again, it appears I've woken you and it's only five in the evening."

I make a small sound of agreement, unwilling to give him my words. I don't know why I resist giving him this part of me, I can't remember. Remember Ari.Why? All I know is that it feels like a rock has lodged itself in my throat, the jagged edges grating against my raw insides when I think about speaking to this man. Man or monster?

He chuckles again. "Clearly, you're still unwell. Stupid man, making me worry over nothing."

I offer the groundskeeper a small forced smile as he places my pills on my bedside table and slowly retreats.

Carver's smooth voice carries on in my ear. "Don't worry, my dear, I'm almost finished with this pesky business in London. In only a few more days we'll be together again."

I swallow, trying to force myself to speak. To do something. Instead I sit in my bed, surrounded by my sheets, wearing a flimsy nightgown with sweat beading on my forehead. It doesn't feel real. As if I'm not real.

"Oh, how I've missed you." The longing sigh that comes down the line makes my stomach clench.

Remember.

Carver has been in my life a long time, and other than being overly strict and becoming the centre of my mother's universe, he never mistreated me…so why? Why does he bring out these reactions in me? What is my mind keeping locked away from me?

There's a small click, and I know it's his Zippo lighter. It has a small metal case with the Clifton crest engraved on it. I've seen it so many times over the years, I could probably draw it from memory.

He takes a deep inhale of his cigarette, the sound feels so close to my right ear that it makes me wince.

In a low, syrupy voice, he practically purrs. "It's just me and you against the world, my little Rapunzel. Let's just stay locked in the manor and hide away from the rest of the world for a little while longer, hmm? Soon everything will be sorted. It will be okay."

Silence.

Even if I wanted to, which I don't, not even a small squeak would come from my mouth.

It feels like I've got a mouthful of dirt.

A rock in my throat.

I can't remember.

And I can't breathe.

"Make sure you take your medication, you'll never get better if you don't." Carver is oblivious to my meltdown, and the Zippo clicks again as he twirls it in his fingers, like he does when he's feeling distracted. "I'll see you soon, princess."

The line goes dead, and I blink.

Before I know what's happening, I'm on my knees, fisting the bedcovers and gasping to catch my breath. Tears stream down my cheeks as I fight to suck in enough oxygen.

My chest hurts, it feels like I've been run through with a scaffolding pole. I tremble, my whole body shaking.

I can't stop it.

I've lost control over my body.

Time passes in a blur.

I'm still fighting for air as the light finally fades.

I'm the first to find her, barely clinging on as she loses herself to some sort of panic attack.

With our progress last night, I hadn't wanted to be far from her, and so I'd stayed on the perch outside her bathroom window when the sun rose this morning.

I'd watched through the window and the open bedroom door while the groundskeeper handed her the phone. Something on the call must have triggered her because right now, she looks like she did before. When she was losing herself inside her own head. I can't let that happen again.

I open her windows, leaning out and whistling for the others.

"Ari? Little dove?" I whisper, my attention back on her as I creep forward, but her eyes are glassy. Unseeing.

"What happened?" Sax asks as he lands on her window ledge. Folding in his wings, he is quicker to move than me – less hesitant as he scoops her into his arms, pulling her onto his chest and stroking her hair.

"The Lord of the Manor called," I surmise.

"What was said?"

"How would I know?"

"Now is not the time for your bratty ways, Mal," Sax snaps. I frown at the tension in his tone, in his body, even as he holds Ari like she's fractured crystal about to shatter and break. He's so gentle with her, but the apprehension is rolling off him in waves.

"What do we do?" Jas asks tentatively, stepping towards them.

"Let's bring her to the tower," Sax suggests, though it's more of an edict.

I nod, as Jas helps Sax wrap her in the bedsheet and lift her as if she weighs nothing before he sits on the window ledge facing us with her bundled close, his expression grim. Her cries have softened but they haven't stopped, and each one is a lethal dagger through my heart.

Without another word, Sax falls backwards. Jas and I rush forward, to watch as his huge wings spread and effortlessly he glides upwards.

Jas clambers up onto the ledge, wings already unfolding before he launches himself forward and into the nighttime air. I follow behind even though I'm useless.

I did nothing.

I saw her on the bed, sobbing, mind fragmenting and I did nothing.

I curl my claws into tight fists.

By the time I climb into our window, Jas has already lit a small fire to warm our room while Sax has pulled back the bedcovers and is inside with Ari.

We added the bed to our space a few generations back, but it always felt pointless because besides sex, we don't use it. Now I'm grateful we added it to the place we call home. This small, hidden space that's just ours. Our tower.

Our little dove.

Sax wraps his thick arms around Arianwen, cocooning her in the safety of him. She's finally closed her eyes as she lets herself sink into him.

She needs him.

But she doesn't need me.

Shame over my jealousy, my cowardliness, makes my chest tighten.

A light touch on my arm makes me flinch.

Jas looks up to me, slate coloured eyes soft. "Shall we go and find some food? She might be hungry when she wakes."

He pities me.

He saw my weakness.

I swallow, a bitter taste lingering in my mouth as I nod and dive back through the window without waiting for him.