Chapter Nine

She hadn't planned on running into Grissom and his boys today. Hadn't known they were here and would never dream of underhanded scheming like that. Hadn't planned to be riding a broad-backed horse with Tanner riding the bay, also known as Star, on one side, Grissom and Luke on her other. Hadn't expected she'd be with a man as hot, hot, hot as Grissom McCoy, either. Or as mercurial. One minute he seemed warm and approachable, downright affable, like Luke. But the next, he'd all but pushed her away.

Yet there she was. In the saddle, on a trail through a grove of bare-branched sugar maples, somewhere east of the Shenandoah National Forest. While the easterly breeze now blowing in promised icy rain or snow in the near future, the day was still sunny and the air was sweet with the scents of warmed, fallen leaves and the ruins of summer's bounty. Tuesday had no favorite season. She loved them all. Like the continents and countries of the world. Everywhere she'd photographed had its own history and appeal, and if forced to decide which country was better than the rest, she'd have to pick them all.

She wished she knew what she'd done, though. Grissom had definitely grown colder since they'd saddled up, and she hadn't missed the way he'd avoided looking at her when he'd finally agreed to this expedition. Grissom was a puzzle, licking his lips with lust one moment. Staring off into the distance the next.

While Tuesday chalked his change in temperament up to the traumatic events he'd lived through, she didn't deserve the evil eye he'd given her. The past year had been hard for her, too. She'd gotten caught up in Maeve Astor's evil web. The psychotic woman had killed anyone who got in her way, including her own children and Tuesday's greatest benefactor, Frederick Lamb. Since the moment she'd found herself wrongly accused of not only poisoning Freddie but burning Astor's husband and children alive, Tuesday's world had been turned upside-down.

She'd been slandered by the national press, hunted by the FBI, and finally caught by TEAM agents, Shane Hayes and Everlee Yeager. Mayhem and sorrow seemed to be the only constants in Tuesday's life. The old saying, "If she didn't have bad luck, she'd have no luck at all," fit her to a T. Almost made her want to hide from the whole darn world. But she hadn't and she wouldn't. That wasn't how Freddie had taught her to deal with problems.

Being there to defend Shane and Everlee that night in Little Rock had been a privilege, no two ways about it. She'd shoot Maeve Astor again if she could. Astor's reign of unbridled hatred and terror had needed to end. As much as she'd terrorized Tuesday, it seemed fitting that she'd been there to help put the murderess down.

But then… Shane, Everlee, and Heston had left her to her noble causes and went back to their lives and jobs. Sure, documenting climate change across the planet was a worthwhile endeavor, but she'd been shocked at how much she'd missed them. For those few days, she'd had friends who'd cared about her. Who'd looked out for her. It was Heston's polite goodbye handshake at the end of their adventure in New York City that made Tuesday acutely aware of how empty her life was. It made her question her priorities. Her plans. Did she have any, other than to be at Robert's beck and call for the rest of her life? Was being sent to desolate places all she was good for? There was a time after Freddie's death when she'd craved isolation. But now?

She cast a sideways glance at Grissom. The brim of his cowboy hat was still down, keeping his face in shadow, not that his beard didn't already cover most of his face. But his hat kept him from making eye contact with her, which was disappointing. His shoulders were broad and his back was straight. Too straight. Like a wall, as if he meant to exclude her from everything, even just friendly conversation.

Neither Grissom nor his boys wore anything heavier than long sleeved shirts. Western shirts. Just like Maverick's. That was when Grissom's mood changed, when Maverick told him to saddle another horse. He must've felt trapped into doing something he hadn't wanted to do, which was her going horseback riding with him and his boys. Tuesday didn't blame him. She hadn't come here to ride horses and her idea of a TEAM photo shoot was ill-advised. Harebrained. Frivolous. Real warriors comprised The TEAM. A photo shoot like the one she'd envisioned would turn those warriors into clowns. Was that how she wanted the world to see them? Absolutely not.

"Shush, I'm still here," Grissom murmured to the sleeping boy in his arm.

Stiffening her legs, Tuesday leaned forward in her saddle to see around Grissom. Was Luke having a nightmare? Did he miss his mom or was he battling separation anxiety? Tuesday stole another quick glance, hoping to catch sight of Luke. She couldn't, not with that sweet baby boy cradled in Grissom's opposite arm.

The desperate, bearded, half-crazed man in Puntarenas had changed into a gorgeous alpha male who genuinely adored his boys. There was no more glorious sight on earth than a tough guy tenderly cradling his son. That alone made Tuesday's heart stall.

To get her flustered mind back on track, she told Tanner to, "Remind me the names of these horses. You're on Star, but who am I riding, and do they all have names?" She'd eagerly agreed to ride another horse when she'd learned that Star was Tanner's favorite.

"Yes, ma'am, they all get two names."

She had to lick her dry lips at the easy way Tanner called her ma'am. These boys had been taught to be respectful. Did they learn that from their mother? Tuesday knew better. No, the moody guy beside her was these boys' only teacher, and Grissom had done an admirable job.

"They get a legal name when Maverick registers them, but those are really long, and I can't never remember 'em. The horse you're riding is a mare. That means she already had a baby and her name's JeZabel. She's got a capital Z in the middle of her name, like Z. He named her cuz he wanted his name inside of hers cuz he was the only one with her the night she was born."

Tuesday cocked her head at Tanner. "Z is a person?"

"Ah-huh, Z and X are both persons," Tanner answered gleefully. "They're guys, and their real names are Xavier and Zeke, and they work for Miss China and Maverick. When I grow up, I'm gonna be a hired hand just like them. Maybe I'll change my name to just T!"

Tuesday grinned at the way his brows spiked. There was a day she'd wanted to be an astronaut, and why not? Childhood was the time for wild, crazy dreams. Heaven knew those dreams didn't last very long and, too often, they got trashed by what life threw at you. "Great job aspiration," she replied, encouraging Tanner to achieve whatever he set his heart on. "What horse is your dad riding?"

"Joker," Tanner answered. "He's a funny guy, but don't ever stand too close to him. He likes to step on people's feet, and I even seen him smile when he did it once!"

"Hmm, I never realized horses have personalities," she mused.

"Yup," Grissom said from her other side. "None of these horses are alike. The cattle in the back forty, either. Animals are the same as people. Snowflakes, each unique. Each special."

And there Tuesday was again, trying desperately not to be enamored with the indifferent man riding beside her, the reins loose in one hand, cradling his three-year-old in the other, and singing the praises of animals, as if they were people.

"And sons," she added quietly. "Your boys are as different as night and day."

"That they are."

"Can we gallop 'em, Dad?" Tanner interrupted, standing up tall in his much shorter stirrups to see around Tuesday. "Can we race, huh? I'll be real careful."

Grissom shook his head. "Not today. Lunch next, then chores are waiting at home. It's Saturday, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Darn it." Tanner leaned back in his saddle. "I gotta clean the cat box every Saturday, and it's real stinky. Why do I always have to clean it?"

"Who owns Pixie?"

"Me…" Tanner sighed. "I know. I paid for her with my allowance, and I love her, so I'm the one who takes care of her because that's what good cat owners do."

Tuesday smiled. That last line sounded like something he'd heard a few times before.

"Besides," Grissom continued, "Luke has to pick up his toys and dust furniture in the family room. Company's coming over tonight. Walker and Persia."

"Oh, yeah!" Tanner exclaimed. "I forgot."

That cinched it. Grissom kept making it clear he had plans and those plans didn't include her. Tuesday got the point.

"Mind if I race Tanner back to the barn?" she asked Grissom, desperate to get away from this guy and the arrows he kept shooting into her heart. "Might even have the saddles off these big ‘kids' before you and Luke get there." It sounded like a good idea, as slow as Joker was ambling. Would've sounded better if her attempt at sarcasm hadn't sounded pitiful.

Tuesday was intent on leaving as soon as she could get this horse back to the barn and unsaddled. She had no business falling in love with these boys. They weren't hers, and who cared if their father looked like he'd just stepped off the pages of some high-powered cowboy magazine. Was there even such a thing as Cowboys GQ? Sheesh!

Grissom pulled back on the reins and Joker stopped walking. "You sure?" he asked, as if he was astonished that she had plans. She didn't. Not precisely. Didn't even know where she was sleeping tonight; only knew she had to get out of Virginia before dark.

The only thing Tuesday was sure about was how much it would hurt to tell these boys goodbye again. Last time had been hard enough. But now? She looked Grissom in the eye, intending this to be the last time. Some men simply weren't worth the trouble. "Yes," she whispered. Straightening her shoulders, she reinforced her plan with a loud and firm, "Might be a good idea to turn back now. I hate driving at night and the sun goes down early these days."

"You do?" Grissom asked. "Umm, hate driving at night?"

"You don't wanna go to Cakes and Honey with me no more?" Tanner asked, childish concern in his six-year-old voice.

Instead of answering his dad, she turned to the boy she loved with a lump in her throat. Tanner had that worried ‘what'd I do wrong?' look all over his face.

"I do, Tanner but… but…" She choked on the lie about to come out of her mouth. "I'm sorry, but I've got deadlines to keep, and schedules I've got to—"

"Bullshit," Grissom growled softly. "None of this is your fault. It's…it's mine. Please—"

"No." She put her head down, determined he not see the tears welling in her silly eyes. Wrong move. They fell anyway, like salty drops of rain out of a broken sky, straight from her foolish, shattered heart, to the tightly knotted fingers clutching the saddle horn.

She'd be okay. What choice did she have? Yet one more time, she'd pick up where everything went wrong and bury herself in the career she'd once loved. Maybe Robert still needed her. Calling him wouldn't be her first choice, but he'd keep her too busy to think about this sweet piece of heaven she'd found.

Some people were lucky. They met their true loves early in life, got married, and raised perfect families. They lived in peace and tranquility, went to PTA and Cub Scout meetings, took their sons and daughters to pediatricians, and they never, ever, knew despair, loneliness, or fear. Not her. Chaos was her life. Death her closest companion. She might as well get used to it.

"It's okay," she told the finely-tooled leather saddle. "Duty calls. Let's go back so I can leave. Then—"

She had no idea how Grissom made it happen. But one moment she was upright in her saddle, trying to get a grip on her messed-up life. The next, she was off the horse and in his arm, pressed under his chin beside a sleepy-eyed Luke. Unable to face one of the most perfect boys in the world, Tuesday closed her eyes. The gentleness of Grissom's hug meant nothing. He felt guilty, that was all. It was time to leave.