Chapter 16

T he rising sun told him the other occupants of the house would be stirring soon.

Judgement day.

Today was to be his wedding day. So why did it feel more like a noose was about to be put around his neck?

The entire family was there. His brothers, Aunt. Aaron had allowed no one else to get close. All his life, he'd spent wrestling with the discord of his brothers. When had he ever had time for romance? Like any healthy man, he loved women. He preferred a mistress, rather than play the rogue about the ton. It never stopped widows from approaching him, though. Nor discontented wives who were all about discretion.

Even though he'd not thought much about taking a wife, he knew someday he would. Rebekah was a beautiful woman. Any man would want her. Who said he did not?

She appealed to him. Last evening he'd been caught up in her spell. Watching his brothers, perhaps he would settle down and be faithful to one woman. He hadn't expected it to happen this soon. And he sure as hell imagined he would choose the woman. Not have her drop into his lap. Or force her way into his orderly life.

Ballocks.

He did not want anything from Rebekah. He was fulfilling an obligation. She was getting everything she wanted from this match. Money. Prestige. But one thing she would not get—was him.

He would marry her. Then he would leave her in Surrey at his country home. He rarely visited; she could have the house all to herself.

Aaron stood before his bedchamber window and stared out over the maze in the back of his house. Unbidden thoughts leaped into his head. Under other circumstances, he would have welcomed Rebekah. Perhaps in a few more years.

He was not the earl. She claimed that didn't matter. Even so, he had wealth of his own. He'd just partnered with Anderson Shipping. She didn't seem to care about that either.

She would get everything she wanted. See if that made her happy.

Perhaps this way, their marriage would have a better chance.

Her wedding day.

Rebekah could not get over her shock. What hurt the most was everyone's sympathy. She hated being pitied. And worse, pretending that everything is fine.

It is not fine!

As for a church wedding. She wanted nothing to do with saying reluctant vows in the eyes of God. Instead, they were married at Aaron's country house in Surrey. The staff had prepared a massive amount of food. Aunt hired a wedding coordinator to arrange everything else. The ballroom was flooded with flowers of every color. All of the other decorations, ribbons and candles were accented in white. In a short time, the ballroom had been turned into a stunning wedding hall.

If Aaron regretted the marriage, why had he gone through with it? The way he had interacted with his family touched her heart. She'd seen a glimpse of the man from that night. For an illogical moment, she'd thought they could have a future together.

Men.

She would never understand them.

Even Penelope had been shocked. But she'd gone on, as if Aaron's departure had been expected. What was wrong with these people? Every minute of their lives a front. Put on a show. Don't let anyone know what was really happening. Don't let anyone see your pain.

Today, she learned from the best. She carried on, playacting as a performer on a stage. Feigning her gaiety, not daring to allow one tear to slip down her cheek. She spent the day pretending to be happy.

No one could know how miserable she was, or how crushed she'd been when Aaron walked away.

Deserted.

Her husband had discarded her.

She looked over to the beautiful wedding cake, three tiers high. More than enough for the handful of guests who'd attended. Nathaniel and Serena. Edmund and Joyanna. Aunt of course, and Papa. Aaron, and her.

Why was it necessary to marry at all? Why didn't they just pretend to get married? If Aaron had planned all along to leave her in Surrey—alone—then why marry her at all?

"That's the fanciest wedding I ever did see. You sure look beautiful, Becky. You remind me of your Ma."

Papa. The one for whom she must play her best performance. After all, it was Papa who started this entire fiasco. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to have the things he couldn't give his wife. Didn't he remember how happy Mama was with the simple things?

"Thank you, Papa." His arms crushed her in a bear hug. Papa had been exuberant since Aaron informed Papa of the date. Now, he was even more cheerful, as if he'd been given the world. Since his dream had been seeing his daughter married, he was on top of the world.

She'd never seen him so buoyant. For him, she would keep up the charade.

"I was invited to spend the night, but I want to get back and tell everyone about my girl's wedding."

"You're not leaving now, are you?" But then, if Papa left now, she could end her pretense sooner.

"Can't wait. Gotta tell all my friends." He took her hands and looked into her eyes. "Becky, are ya happy?"

"Happier than I can tell you, Papa."

"That's my girl." He crushed her in another hug. "I'll be going now. You write to me, ya hear? I don't expect to get a letter right away, I mean, ya just got married. But when that husband of yours give ya the time…" Papa gave her a wink. "You write and tell me all the fine things you're doing." He clogged up then.

"Papa, don't cry." If he started crying, so would she. Once she started, she might not be able to stop.

He swiped at his eye. "All right, Becky. You be happy, now. Ya hear. And don't forget your Papa."

She hugged him as tight as she possibly could. "I'll never forget you." She held on a while longer, then pushed away before a tear could escape. "Besides, I'll come visit you real soon."

"Ya promise?"

"Of course, cross my heart." She signed her fingers over her chest.

"I'm off, girly. Bye."

She waved as a feeling of relief came over her. She really was happy. Happy that Papa was far enough away he couldn't see the tears streaming down her face.

"Come with me."

Rebekah looked up through her blurred vision. Joyanna had taken her arm, and was leading her into the house.

"I'm sorry … I can't stop."

"It's all right. Go ahead and cry. There's no one here to see you."

Rebekah had no idea where they were going. When she reached the stairs, she automatically ascended, then walked down the corridor to her chamber. Joyanna quietly closed the door.

"I'll be missed."

"Serena is having everyone fuss over her and the baby. They are occupied."

"It doesn't matter. Everyone knows. Everyone saw Aaron …" Rebekah threw herself across the bed.

"You go right ahead and cry dear. You held this in a long time. You are overdue." Joyanna rubbed Rebekah's shoulder as she talked. "It's not the end of the world. This is but a stepping stone in your life. Deal with it today, and come out the winner tomorrow."

"I had no idea. He didn't say a word." She sniffed.

"He didn't tell anyone of his intentions, the bugger."

Rebekah sat up, wiping her face. "You didn't know he was planning to go back to London?

"No, I did not. Neither did his brothers. He was smart not to tell them, because they would have taken precautions. Edmund was just as surprised as you were."

"What about Penelope?"

"Couldn't you hear her grinding her teeth. She was completely flummoxed. We all thought Aaron had accepted you for his wife. No one had any idea he planned to hide you away in Surrey."

"Hide me?"

"I'm sorry, darling. Bad choice of words. My mouth runs away when my temper flares."

Rebekah smiled. "You're in a temper?"

"I'm controlling it. I'm in a stew, but if I allow my temper to surface, believe me, Rebekah, you would have no doubt. Perhaps it is the French in me. But I can raise the roof with the best of shouters."

"I believe you."

"That's much better. I'm glad to see you smile." Joyanna pulled a delicate kerchief from her sleeve. "Here, darling. Blow your nose. Wash your face. Then you can stay in your chamber as long as you like. Or, come downstairs where we can laugh and you can truly be yourself. No one expects you to pretend you are a blushing bride."