Chapter 4

Gray huffed out a breath, sinking down onto the sofa in Lena's living room. He'd tried not to stare at her earlier in the thin tank top and cardigan she wore, the soft material perfectly skimming over her womanly curves. He could see her nipples pressing against the fabric and the round fullness of her breasts. Lena had flushed as his gaze briefly tracked over her. She was gorgeous, yet sweeter and more vulnerable than she first appeared. Lena was always so closed-off at work, all business, and seeing another side of her made all of his protective instincts rise. He'd done his best to remain at a distance in the past, but there was no way he'd stand by earlier when some guy was harassing her at headquarters. And after her kidnapping mere weeks ago? He'd do everything in his power to keep her safe.

Gray rested his head in his hands as a torrent of thoughts churned in his mind.

Hell.

He didn't like that he'd found zip ties in her driveway, but then again, a few pieces of plastic could've easily blown through the neighborhood. Gray wasn't sure what had prompted him to offer to stay the night, but he'd hated the fear in her eyes at the thought of him leaving.

Gray lifted his head, looking straight down the hallway to Lena's closed bedroom door. Her trust in letting him stay in her home made his chest swell. Lena typically kept herself apart from everyone. She was Jett's assistant, and if she was around when they had gatherings, she was usually working, not relaxing with the team and their women. He'd often been unable to keep his eyes off her, taking in her sexy curves, pretty features, and beauty that made her glow from within. Lena was gorgeous, living up to the actual meaning of her name. Bright. Beautiful. The exact opposite of the darkness that filled Gray's life. Even his name was the color of gloom. It was an irony not lost on him.

Groaning, he wondered what his boss would think of Gray's spending the night at her home. Not that Jett's displeasure would've stopped him, and hell, the man would have no problem with Gray keeping her safe.

He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to relieve some of the tension he felt. Usually, when he woke from a nightmare, he'd be up for hours. Seeing Lena had distracted him from his own troubles, but now his thoughts were consumed with the woman down the hall.

Gray unlaced his boots, setting them neatly beside her coffee table. He removed his firearm, putting it beside his cell phone, then stood, moving to check that her front windows were secure. While he might like to leave a window cracked in his own bedroom to let in the cool winter air, there wasn't a fucking chance he'd take a risk with Lena's safety. Especially when no one knew where Ivan Rogers was.

He grabbed the pillow and blanket, stretching out on her sofa in the dark living room. The house was silent and still, but his thoughts wouldn't slow. Gray shifted around, trying to get comfortable, then stilled as he heard a soft cry from down the hall.

Shit. Was that Lena? He listened closely.

As more cries filled the air, Gray grabbed his firearm and was moving down the hall before he thought better of it.

"No!" she suddenly wailed.

"Lena!" He tried the doorknob, not surprised to find that it was locked, then burst into her bedroom as she cried out again, leaving the flimsy bedroom door in two pieces. Weapon aimed, he flipped on the light switch, his heart catching as he saw her twisted in her sheets, crying. His quick scan of the room showed they were alone, and Gray lowered his gun.

Another fucking nightmare.

Lena sat up in her bed, chest heaving, tears streaming down her face. Her dark hair was in disarray, and she swiped at her face, trying to brush away both long strands of hair and tears. Gray holstered his weapon, moving toward her, his heart thumping in his chest. "Lena." His voice sounded deeper than usual, and the urgency coursing through him was surprising. Lena was safe, but seeing her scared and crying gutted him.

She looked up at him, shaking, her breasts rising and falling as they pressed against her thin tank top. Creamy cleavage briefly drew his attention, but his gaze tracked back up to her face, wet with tears. The haunted look in her eyes slayed him. "I had another nightmare," she whimpered, her voice breaking.

"I know." He sat at the edge of her bed and eased her to him, her slender body so small and delicate compared to his own. Gray wrapped an arm around her shaking shoulders, his other hand palming the back of her head as he guided her closer.

Lena clung to him, trembling, and buried her face in his chest as he tried to soothe her. It might be wrong for a thousand different reasons for him to be here in her bedroom, but Gray couldn't stay away if he'd tried. He breathed in her floral scent and felt the warmth of her body, his mind flashing back to two weeks ago when he'd carried her unconscious body out of the house of her captors. She'd been too pale then. Limp. Helpless.

And he'd wanted to murder Ivan Rogers right then and there.

"My nightmares are worse tonight," Lena finally said, her voice slightly hoarse from crying. "I was trying to forget what happened, but it's like everything is coming back to the surface."

Gray barely dared to move. Lena wasn't the type of woman to confide in him, revealing her fears, and her trust in him was everything. "I'm sorry," he said. "While I don't know all that you went through, I know it can be hell to relive moments you'd rather forget."

Their eyes met as she pulled back, and he hated how fucking lost she seemed. Lena clenched her fists, anger seeming to overtake her sadness as she drew in a breath. "I don't even remember half of what happened when I was in that home. I was drugged."

"I'm here if you want to talk," he said quietly. "You don't have to share anything you don't want to."

She bit her lip and nodded, another stray tear slipping from her eyes despite her anger. She swiped it away, determination filling her gaze. "I had a bad relationship years ago. An ex was stalking me," she explained as Gray stiffened. "He was controlling, dictating more and more what I could and couldn't do. I realized rather quickly he wasn't the type of man I thought he was, so I broke up with him. That's when he started following my every move. Stalking me. I was terrified until he ended up in jail for other reasons, but when Kaylee and I were kidnapped, it was like my very worst nightmare came true. I wasn't beaten or tortured like you, but it was torture all the same. The men after Kaylee, Cronin and Levins, handed me off to their boss. In a way, he was the worst of them all."

Gray's pulse pounded, his mind churning with scenarios he didn't even want to imagine. Things out of a woman's worst nightmare.

"He forced me inside the home and then drugged me and tied me to his bed," Lena said, her voice shaking.

Gray's hands fisted at his sides, rage boiling within him. "He assaulted you."

"Yes," she said matter-of-factly. "It wasn't exactly like you're imagining. He didn't rape me, although I'm sure he was planning on it. He liked that I was weak and helpless, and when I'd come to again, he'd grope me and tell me all the horrible things he was planning to do. I'd start to panic, and then he'd drug me again so I would pass out."

"Fucking bastard," Gray seethed. "I want to kill him for even touching you."

Lena wrapped her arms around herself, looking like she was trying to hold herself together. "I wouldn't mind. Is that horrible of me to think?"

Gray shook his head, his lips pressed together. If Gray had found Ivan Rogers in that home, the other man would've been begging for mercy. And Gray would've ended him without a moment of remorse.

"He was toying with me," Lena finally said. "I don't even remember most of it, but when we were in the SUV, the men were planning to sell the other women they'd kidnapped. I don't know where he was going to take me."

"He wanted to keep you," Gray said, his voice hoarse. He'd read some of Lena's statement to the police. Fuck. If they hadn't gotten there in time….

Lena reached over and grabbed his hand, surprising him. "I was so out of it, it almost feels like some sick, twisted nightmare. I keep trying to forget it even happened, but I'm terrified he's going to come back for me," she said, fresh tears filling her eyes.

"That'll never happen." Gray's voice was thick with emotion. "I'm already beating myself up for waiting outside the coffee shop while you went back in—"

"We've been over this," Lena interrupted. "No one was expecting them to track Kaylee down. Even if you'd come inside, you wouldn't have walked into the ladies' room with us. They were determined to get her."

"I could've waited in the hallway," Gray said, guilt coursing through him. "By the time I realized you'd been gone too long…."

Lena shook her head, squeezing his hand tighter. "You found us. That's all that matters. Kaylee and I are both fine. Kaylee has Nick, and I stayed with Jett and Anna until I felt comfortable enough to come back home. We have to move on with our lives." She shrugged, swiping away another tear.

"You and Jett go way back," Gray commented, searching her face.

"We do. I've known him since before his military days."

"And you two never…?"

Lena shook her head vehemently. "Goodness, no. We've known each other forever. Old family friends. He's more like an older brother to me. When Jett got out of the military, he offered me a job at Shadow Security. How could I refuse? I was jumping around between various admin positions, and he pays me better than any of those ever could."

"He's lucky to have you."

Lena let out a huff of laughter. It felt good to make her smile, even if only for a moment. "That he is," she agreed, flashing him a tiny grin. "What time is it anyway?" she asked.

Gray looked over her shoulder to the alarm clock on her nightstand. "Oh-four-hundred. I've been here a couple of hours."

"Do you want some coffee? I'm not sure I can go back to sleep."

"Sure," he agreed, rising from the bed. "I doubt I'll fall back asleep either." He reached out a hand to Lena, enjoying the feeling as her soft, slender hand clutched his own. She rose to her feet, barely coming up to his chin. The baser part of him wanted to lower her back into bed and kiss away all those fears she had. Explore all that soft, creamy skin and then make love to her until she was clinging to him, crying out his name.

He could actually picture it happening, Lena's hair spilled out over the pillow, her gorgeous body beneath his own. It took everything in him not to duck down and kiss her soft lips right this second, running his hands over her perfect curves and admitting how much he wanted her.

"Thank you," Lena said, suddenly wrapping her arms around Gray in a big hug. He flinched as the material of his shirt rubbed against his back and immediately tried to hide his reaction.

"Did I hurt you?" she asked, the alarm clear in her voice as she pulled away.

Lena's eyes were filling with worry again, and Gray wanted to curse. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her off. "No. The fabric of my shirt caught against my scars. I'm fine." It was more than he'd ever shared with his teammates. Gray had no problem ignoring the pain when he knew to expect it. Donning a Kevlar vest or slinging a rifle across his back was uncomfortable sometimes, but his scars were usually a dull pain that he could live with.

Lena had surprised him, and he hated that his reaction had made her pull away.

She was warily looking at him now, her gaze tracking up and down his body, trying to see where he was injured. None of his scars were visible with his clothing on. Gray had enjoyed the pleasure of exactly two women since his Army days, and he'd fucked them without caring what they thought of his body. He generally kept to himself now, not interested in a quick lay. He was too closed off to have a relationship, yet here he was, having no trouble with confiding in Lena. Taking her to bed was a privilege he'd love to earn. Thrashing around in his sleep because of his own damn nightmares, however, didn't exactly make him feel comfortable having a woman at his side while he slept. And wasn't that just another fucking thing the terrorist assholes had stolen from him.

"Are you sure you're all right?" she asked, her voice soft in the early morning hours.

"I'm fine." His voice was gruffer than he'd intended, and he reached out and drew her into his arms for the hug she'd wanted. His lips brushed against her temple, his immediate reaction to soothe her.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you," Lena said, her touch light. Gentle.

"You surprised me. In more ways than one." Gray released her and turned away before she could respond, striding down the hall toward her kitchen. Staying with Lena in her bedroom made him want all kinds of things he couldn't have.

Gray would protect Lena, even if it meant from himself.