Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25

My mind keeps slipping in and out of reality. One minute, I'm floating in darkness, an eternal void, and the next, I'm being dragged down the stairs, Everly on one side of me, Michael on the other. I can hear the students asking if I'm going to be okay. I can hear them asking each other if I really am crazy. One of them mentions that I tried to attack Everly and I'll probably be reprimanded, maybe sent home.

But I'm not taken to the nurse's office. Suddenly, the door is opening, the shutters gone, and I'm brought outside into the cool night air. The mist is damp against my skin, and I try to breathe, try to think of what I need to do.

I need to be free of them. Yes. I need to escape.

They start pulling me toward the lab.

I dig my heels in best I can, but it's a pathetic attempt.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I hear Kincaid roar.

My heart skips a beat.

He's here, he's here.

I try to lift my head to look at him, but I can only stare at the muddy ground where his black combat boots come into view.

Is that…blood splattered on them?

Fear twists into me like a knife.

I remember that Kincaid lied to me about Clayton.

Oh god, what has he done?

"You're a little late, doctor," Michael says coldly. "She's breaking."

"She's fine," Kincaid says, and he steps forward to grab me, but Michael blocks him.

"Stay back, Wes," Michael warns.

"Stay back?" Kincaid sneers. "Are you serious right now? She's my fucking patient."

"And a patient you're fucking," Everly says under her breath, so bitterly that it causes something to dig in the back of my skull.

She's jealous.

"Fuck off, Everly," Kincaid says. "This doesn't concern you."

"She's breaking," Michael says again. "And your sessions have been no help, that much I can see. Preventative, my ass. We need to do something. Take a look at her brain, see what her problem is. See if we can fix her."

Excuse me, what? I think. I moan, trying to run, to scream, but I can't.

"Hold on, Syd," Kincaid says to me, trying to sound calm. "You entrusted her into my care. Both of you did," he says to them, his voice brimming with raw anger. "So you're not laying a single fucking finger on her head, or I swear to god I will burn this whole damn place down with you in it. Especially with you in it."

"Idle threats," Michael says. "You've said this before, and yet you're still here."

"I don't make idle threats," Kincaid growls. "She's mine."

Everly sighs. "Such a caveman. Fine, fuck, what do I care what you do. I don't."

Michael lets out a derisive snort.

"What?" Everly snaps. "I don't care."

"Right, dear ," Michael says sarcastically. "Sometimes I can't tell who will be your downfall here, Sydney or Wes? Perhaps both of them, hmmm?"

Everly suddenly lets go of me, and I slump toward the ground, held up only by Michael's cruel grip.

"All of you can go to hell," Everly says, and I hear her walking off.

"You first," Michael says under his breath, but he's still holding me at an angle, as if I'm diseased.

"Michael, you're traumatizing her," Kincaid says in a low voice. "You think she can't hear this right now, can't feel this?"

Michael grunts and starts to release me. Suddenly, Kincaid rushes forward and grabs me by the waist, hauling me up.

"You need to be careful," Michael says as Kincaid cradles my head against his chest. My entire body lets go, slumped against him. "You need to be a lot more careful."

"Sounds like you're the ones who need to get things under control," Kincaid says. "One more mistake will put all of us over the edge. And you have the most to lose."

Michael laughs bitterly. "That's where you're wrong, doctor. That's where you're wrong."

Then he walks off, leaving Kincaid and me alone.

"Jesus," he swears, exhaling heavily before kissing the top of my head. "Syd, are you okay?"

I try to speak, but it all comes out as gibberish.

"That's okay," he says. "I'll take you to the boat. Come on."

He leans down and scoops me up in his arms, carrying me past the totem pole and boardwalk, down the ramp, to the docks.

He carries me on board and down the stairs, and then takes me to his sleeping quarters, laying me down on the berth.

"You're going to want to sleep for a few hours until the sedative wears off," he says. "I'm not sure exactly which one they injected you with, but you should be okay. I'll be right here keeping an eye on you. You're safe."

Then he kisses my forehead tenderly and pulls the blanket over me, tucking me in.

Am I safe when I don't know you at all? I think. You lied to me. You have blood on your shoes.

Does he have blood on his hands?

"Good morning, sunshine."

I groan, stirring until my head erupts in pain, as if someone is beating a drum inside. I blink my eyes open to see the hatch above me. But there is no sun. Only dark clouds that move quickly in the sky. The boat moves up and down, water sloshing against the sides and the dock.

I slowly turn my head to see Kincaid sitting in a seat in the corner of the cabin, a mug of something that smells like mint tea in his hand. He has dark circles etched under his eyes, his stubble turning into a beard. He looks exhausted, which makes me imagine I must look worse.

"Don't try to get up right away or make any sudden movements," he warns me, voice stern yet quiet. "You'll be groggy for a while. I have no idea how much of the sedative Everly gave you, but it was close to a dangerous amount. You were out cold all night long."

I try to swallow, but my mouth feels like cotton. All the events from last night bubble to the surface, and I try to swat them away, not wanting to face them, not wanting my perception of Kincaid to change.

But it already has. My heart feels heavy.

So terribly heavy.

"I'm sorry," he says, reading my face. "I truly am." He helps me to sit upright, slowly, then hands me the mug of tea before sitting back down.

"You lied to me." I breathe in sharply, preparing for the pain. "Did you kill Clayton?"

He shakes his head. "No."

"Why don't I believe you?"

He shrugs with one shoulder, looking down at his hands. "Because whatever trust of yours I had, I've lost it. Simple as that, Syd."

I take a sip of the tea, letting it warm my throat, trying to gather my thoughts before I swallow it down. "Why did you lie to me?"

He exhales through his nose. "NDAs." He gives me a pained look. "Sorry. It's the truth."

"So now it's a matter of you not trusting me," I tell him.

"For all I know, you might leave on the first seaplane right after the storm. Tell the world what you saw here. I advise against that, by the way. Not the part about leaving on the seaplane—that I recommend. I mean about breaking the contract. They will sue you, and even if you think you have nothing to give, they will find something. Do you understand me, Syd? They will make it their mission to utterly destroy you." He pauses. "They will kill you, figuratively. One way or another."

I gulp, fear tickling my ribs. "You recommend I leave?"

He leans back and runs his hand over his jaw back and forth, the stubble scratchy. "I'll have to come with you on the plane. But yes. I think you should leave."

I blink at him in disbelief. "Are you serious?"

"When am I not?" he says, staring at me. "Soon as the storm clears, I'll get you on the first flight out of here."

"And you'll come too? Just leave your boat and your job and go?"

"I'll have to come back at some point. Maybe I can only leave for a few days, but yes. I'll take care of you, Syd. I told you I would. I'll help you get settled wherever it is you want. You won't have to worry about finances, you won't have to worry about anything."

"Except I will have to worry about my friends up here at Madrona Lodge. Are they in trouble too?"

He keeps his eyes locked on mine for a moment, not saying anything. Then he gives his head a shake. "No."

I let out a shaky exhale. My nerves are so frayed that I can feel them snapping one by one, until nothing will hold me together.

"They drugged me because I knew the truth about Clayton," I say. "They wanted to shut me up. But they were also taking me somewhere. Michael said something about looking at my brain…"

He nods. "Yes. They would have hooked you up to an EEG. Measured your brain waves."

"But they know I was telling the truth," I say. "So why do that? Was it a threat?"

"You're not well, Sydney," Kincaid says grimly. "They have access to my files on the computer. They know what I've logged after our sessions. They know about your hallucinations. Your sleepwalking. They know you've seen ghosts."

"No. No, because the things in the woods, those bears, the wolves, you saw them too. They're real."

"I know they're real," he admits. "And so do Everly and Michael. That's not why they're worried." He pauses. "They're worried for the same reasons I am, except I don't need to look at your brain, and I don't need to prescribe you any medication. I know that all you need is time. Time to get well. Depression is a wound like any other. It takes time to heal. There is no quick solution."

"But she drugged me," I tell him. "She injected me."

"You did try to attack her," he points out.

I narrow my eyes at him. "Why does it sound like you're standing up for her?"

"Believe me, I'm not," he says with a small smile. "I'm just letting you know the answers." He gets up and opens a cupboard, pulling out my leggings, a clean pair of underwear, and my green sweater. "I went to your room and got you some clothes. Figured you would want to change. When you're ready, and if you still want to, we'll go to Everly's office, together, and tell her that you'd like to leave."

The idea of leaving gives me hope, and I'm grateful I don't have to go alone. And yet, the thought of seeing Everly again makes me feel sick. Not just that I tried to attack her, which was kind of unhinged and embarrassing and did me no favors, but that she drugged me. She scared the hell out of me.

And she lied right to everyone's faces.

"Can you tell me anything about Clayton?" I plead with Kincaid before he walks away. "Is he still alive?"

He pauses. "I'm not sure."

"Did they…did they take him to run tests? Did they take him because he was bad? Because no one would miss him?"

Is that why I'm here?

Because they want to run tests on me, because no one would miss me if I disappeared? Was that their plan all along?

Were your sessions a way to somehow prove my worth to stay alive?

Did I prove my worth?

But I don't voice those last questions. I'm too afraid of the answer.

And Kincaid doesn't say anything. The look on his face, the steel grey of his eyes, tells me that he's not allowed.

He leaves, closing the cabin door behind him for privacy, and I stare down at my tea for a couple of minutes, lost in thoughts that don't make any sense, choked by a growing sense of fear.

I think I'm right.

I think they picked me because I was broken and alone, and they wanted to see whether I would crumble further or whether I could be saved.

How many times did Kincaid tell me he wanted to save me?

That he was supposed to protect me?

It wasn't to protect me from myself, not entirely. It was also to protect me from them. It must have been a happy accident for them that I lost my scholarship—no one would notice at all if I never came back home.

Something snags in my thoughts, a prickle of unease, but when I try to focus on it, it floats away. It seems if I try too hard to think about anything, everything just dissolves.

I slowly get dressed, breathing deeply to keep the mounting dread at bay. The boat continues to rock, the waves coming in a little harder now, and on deck, the ropes start to bang against the mast.

The storm is almost here.

After I'm dressed, I make my way out of the cabin, pausing at the doorway to see Kincaid sitting at the chart table, staring at something in his hand that he quickly tucks away. He clears his throat and straightens up.

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

"How do you think? Like I've been drugged. Like I am losing my fucking mind because of the shit heap of lies everyone keeps telling me. Like if I stay here one minute longer, it's going to be me in that tree next time, getting shot and dragged away to who knows where." My heart is starting to race with anger, leaving me feeling woozy, and I have to lean against the doorway.

Kincaid crosses the boat in seconds, arms holding me up. "Don't be ridiculous, Syd. You're letting your mind get away from you, and you're still feeling the effects of the drug. Look, there's a storm coming. You have nowhere you need to be today. You can just stay here and take it easy. You're safe. I mean it." He pauses. "I'm the one with a rifle, and I have a lot of bullets left," he jokes.

I nod carefully. "I know. But I want Everly to know my intentions. I want her to tell me it's okay to leave. I need to hear it."

"Alright," he says, leaning down to peer at me. "We can do that right now if it makes you feel better. I'll let her know I'm leaving with you."

"She won't like that," I say quietly.

"Probably not."

"She's jealous, you know. She's jealous of me, I think. Or maybe she's jealous of you."

He smiles faintly. "I know that, too."

"But she's married."

"Let's just say they aren't happily married," he informs me. "There's a reason that Michael is rarely here. But divorces are costly, and they both have a lot to lose. Some days, it's easier for them to turn a blind eye. Other days…Michael likes to make my life a living hell, as much as he can."

Hearing this little drama, that Everly isn't as put together as she seems, makes me feel a bit better, even if it means that Michael is out to get Kincaid.

Still, I have to ask. "Did you ever, uh, sleep with her?"

"God, no," he says, wrinkling his nose. "Everly is beautiful, of course, but she's a snake. Not in a good way."

"But she's tried."

He laughs. "Yes. She has tried. But that's enough about that. All you need to know is that things were an awful mess for a while." I'm watching him as his face falls, the laughter dying on his lips. Darkness falls across his eyes. Then he clears his throat again and nods at me. "Shall we go?"

He leads me to the doors, and as soon as he opens them, cold, wet wind blows my hair back. He helps me up the steps and out of the boat. The dock is wet and slippery, and I have to lean into him to keep my balance, but at least it's not raining.

We walk up the ramp and toward the north dorm. I never realized Everly had an office here at all, albeit down the opposite way from Kincaid's.

"Do you know if she's here?" I whisper to him.

He nods and raises his hand, about to knock, when the door opens and Dr. Janet Wu steps out. It feels like I haven't seen her in a really long time.

"Hello," I say to her, wondering if she's innocent in all this or if she's the one working on Clayton, testing their drugs on him.

Her eyes go round, and she steps away from me so she's backing up into Everly's office.

"Ah, it's Sydney Denik," Everly says in an overly cheery voice as she gets up. "Janet, have you properly met Sydney yet? I don't believe you have."

Janet smiles stiffly at me and shakes her head. "No. I think you were in the class when I had one of my, uh…"

"Episodes," Everly says. "One of your episodes. It's okay, Janet, you're among friends here. If anything, Sydney is a lot like you. Also has these episodes, some of which include trying to attack me, but that's better than just breaking down in tears in the middle of class, isn't it?"

"Everly," Kincaid snipes at her.

"Save it, Wes," Everly says, rubbing at her temples. "The air pressure from this storm is making my head feel like it's about to implode. Now, what is it that you want? Janet, you're dismissed again. Go." She shoos her off with a dismissive flick of her wrist.

God, was Everly always like this? Did she blind me with her grace and beauty so that I didn't even see it?

"So, what do you want?" Everly says, sitting back down with a sigh as Janet scurries out of the room. "I had a hell of a night. At least you were drugged." She jerks her chin at me. "Bet you slept all the way through, lucky bitch."

I clench my teeth at that, and Kincaid gives my hand a squeeze.

"Sydney would like to fly home on the first flight out of here," Kincaid says.

Everly fixes a tired eye on me. "Is this true? Or is this his idea?"

"It was my idea," I tell her. "I would like to go home."

Her eyes narrow at me while she smiles sourly. "I see. Of course you would, especially after last night. I suppose I do owe you an apology. I didn't mean to drug you; you just left me no choice. You were becoming violent, Syd. Now I guess the apology is in your court."

Fuck that.

"Just put her on the next plane," Kincaid demands. "And make sure I have a seat next to her."

"Et tu, Brutus?" she asks, picking up a pen and tapping it rapidly against the desk as she looks between the both of us. She sighs and stops tapping. "Well, I'm not surprised. So is this your formal resignation, Wes?"

"He's coming back," I tell her. "He's just going to help me get settled."

She snorts. "Oh, sweet summer child. No he's not. If he gets on that plane with you, he's quitting. He'll only come back for his boat. Still, quite the risk in assuming the boat will still be here. So many storms come through…"

He stiffens. "I'll be back to collect Mithrandir . That's it."

I turn to him in awe. "What? No. You can't quit. This is your job, your life."

"Maybe you're his life now, Sydney," Everly says in a mocking voice. "Isn't that precious, a love story happening before our very eyes." She flashes a wry smile at me. "I'm sorry, am I ruining things? Is he coming on too strong for you? It is a lot, isn't it? Has he already told you that he loves you, that he would lay his heart on the blade and die for you? Hell, he's already quitting his fucking fantastic job and running away with you somewhere, and you don't even know one fucking thing about him, do you?"

"Everly," Kincaid growls at her. "First plane out of here. And if you don't make the arrangements, I will."

She laughs. "Fuck, you're a serious one this morning. Whatever, Wes. Stay, go, I don't care. It will be your loss in the end. You'll both lose, you know that, don't you?" She looks off and waves her hands at us. "It doesn't matter. You'll be back. You always come back. Anyway, you'll be joining Dr. Wu on that same flight. Must be the season for idle threats of resignation."

"Not an idle threat," Kincaid grumbles. "I don't make idle threats."

He then squeezes my hand and pulls me toward the door.

I look back at Everly to see her laughing again and shaking her head, like she doesn't believe him at all.

"We will get out of here, won't we?" I ask him as he leads me down the hall to his office.

"I'm calling the seaplane companies right now. If I have to charter it personally to get you and Dr. Wu out of here as soon as possible, I will."

He unlocks his door, and we go inside, where he picks up the phone.

"Lines are down already," he rumbles, throwing the phone down on the receiver. "Fuck. Well, satellite internet should still work."

He goes to his computer and types away while shooting furtive glances my way as I sit down across from him.

"What? You think I'm going to knock you out with a paperweight and check my email?" I tease.

He grins and slips on his glasses. "It occurred to me."

I sit back and watch as he types, studying his handsome face. There's a scar above his eyebrow, but I don't know where he got it from. His hair is so thick and dark but with a reddish sheen to it, and I wonder if he got that color from his mother or his father. And where were they born? Where was he born?

Everly was right. He's giving everything up for me, and I know nothing about him.

But do I have to? I've had boyfriends before where I did know everything, and all it did was result in me being either bored or brokenhearted. Maybe this time, under these circumstances, I can just learn everything along the way.

Far away from here.

"Well, because we're not on any regular seaplane route, you can't just book a charter flight online," he says with a sigh, typing quickly. "But I just sent a request to Harbour Air, and now I'm going to try some of the private fishing charters. Guarantee that as long as I pay their price, they'll come here and get us."

"We could take one of the Zodiacs," I suggest. "Maybe go to Port Alice. You mentioned Winter Harbor has a road that connects to Port Hardy. That's a legit town."

He shakes his head. "The storm might pass, but the swells will be big for a few days. We're exposed the moment we leave the inlet. There's a reason why Captain Cook called the peninsula the cape of storms."

"Then we take the ATVs," I tell him.

He looks amused. "We're not escaping a villain, Sydney. ATVs are slow and would be a last resort. Hell, Mithrandir is the last resort if we can't charter a plane in time."

But that's where he's wrong. He's so close to it that he doesn't even see it.

There is a villain here.

And its name is the Madrona Foundation.