Chapter Seventeen

Dinner was awkward again, and yet at the same time, not awkward at all. It was awkward because Lane found themself opposite Cassidy, and spent the entire meal trying to keep track if they were staring at her too much or not making eye contact enough. Surely everyone at the table could see how lit up they were, the sparks between them flying furiously every time one glanced at the other. Were they being obvious?

And yet it also wasn't awkward for once, because Cassidy was in a good mood, chatting warmly with her sister and Brynn, playfully interacting with Tucker and poking verbally at Lane just enough. Savannah looked relaxed and Brynn didn't have to be on high alert to defuse anything, so she just smiled, played off Cassidy's energy and teased her wife. Lane watched Cassidy, while trying not to watch Cassidy, the heat in their lower belly only matched by the warmth in their chest.

That night, Lane lay awake, both wondering if Cassidy might show up, and wondering if she was lying in her own bed thinking of them, or if it was just Lane that was getting this tied up in knots.

The next few days passed similarly. Lane didn't seek her out - they were far too confused for that - but every time they saw her there was something palpable between them, in Cassidy's slightly knowing smile across the breakfast table, or in Lane's lingering gaze as they moved around each other in the living room, the rest of the family swirling about, oblivious. One evening, they ended up in the pool together, practically circling each other, Cassidy's eyes daring them, Lane's eyes devouring her, nothing acknowledged verbally, but everything still spilling out in every loaded gaze, until Lane had all but fled the water.

The next afternoon, Lane took advantage of a slightly cooler day to go for a run, hoping to clear their mind and their body of the edgy energy that was nagging at them. They slowed to a jog for the last mile back through the fields to cool down before arriving back at the guesthouse. Opening their front door, they jerked back in surprise to find Cassidy right there on the other side, on her way back out.

"Oh my god!" she nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Hey!" they said, still catching their breath. "Were you…here to like, write, or something?" So far, Cassidy hadn't seemed to have taken them up on the offer.

"Actually," she said, her eyes flickering down their body, snagging on Lane's chest before jerking back up to meet their gaze, "I snuck in to give you something, to say thank you. I thought I'd write here tomorrow when you're at school, if that's okay."

"Of course," said Lane. "You didn't have to give me anything." There was some kind of five bell alarm ringing in their body at the sight of her, the little white tank top that clung to her with just the tiniest hint of cleavage - no goddamned bra - the small denim shorts that Lane could just flick open with one finger. Her mouth. Her thighs. They were both still just inside the front door. Lane closed it, with Cassidy on the inside. She looked up at them, caught the look in their eyes, and her pupils dilated.

"It's just cookies," she murmured, not looking away. Then she turned and walked further back into the guest house, Lane only a beat behind her. True to her word, a plate covered in a neat tea cloth sat on the dining table. "Savannah said you're a fiend for all kinds of cookies, so I baked you some," she said, stopping next to the table. She turned and looked at them again, her eyelashes flickering slightly as she realized how close Lane was.

"Why are you blushing?" Lane asked curiously, seeing the heat rising in her throat up into her cheeks.

"You're all sweaty," she said, staring at their chest. Lane looked down at themself, suddenly self-conscious.

"Oh. Sorry," they started, but Cassidy had stepped closer.

"Your t-shirt is clinging to you." She bit her lip. "Like, to every muscle." Lane swallowed. "And I like the way you smell," she said, her eyelashes slowly rising. "I don't know what that's about. I've never liked the smell of someone's sweat before."

"Pheromones." Lane's voice was husky. "I think we probably have really good ones."

"Yeah." She darted out her tongue to wet her lips. Then she took a shaky breath. "Lane," she whispered. "Why are you still doing this to me? To yourself? I think it's pretty clear you like me."

"I-" Lane started, but they had no answer. No argument. All they could see was the clear want in the eyes of the girl they were pretty sure they liked more than anything. They stood there, gazing at each other, nothing but the sound of the two of them breathing, sharp uneven breaths. Then, without looking away, Cassidy took hold of the hem of her tank top and slowly pulled it up over her head and let it drop to the floor. Lane went absolutely still. They couldn't drag their eyes away. It was the first time they'd seen her like this in the daylight and she was an absolute wet dream.

"Cassie," they breathed, already helplessly aroused. "This isn't how this decision should get made…"

Cassidy watched them struggle. Then, she stepped back. She sat herself neatly on Lane's dining table, right next to the plate of cookies, and leaned back a little on her hands.

"Resist me, then," she told them, with a little shrug, gazing into their eyes.

Lane made it less than two seconds before they lunged. Their mouth met hers in a ferociously urgent clash, Cassidy all but ripping their t-shirt over their head and pulling Lane's hot, sticky torso against her. Lane pushed her back, their hungry mouth already on her bare breasts, listening to her cry out as they lavished one and then the other in desperate, heady worship.

Her knees came up, her legs held apart by Lane's body and they slid their hand around her bare thigh, fingers just under the hem of her shorts, holding her there as she writhed in savage, unmet need. They kissed their way slowly down her abdomen, then slowly straightened up, looking her in the eye as their fingers deliberately flicked open her top button. Cassidy stopped breathing, her eyes begging, pupils blown. Lane teased down her zipper, just an inch, and she gasped raggedly.

"Please," she whimpered and Lane knew they were both remembering them threatening to make her beg. They gazed down to where their fingers were resting, just above the panties they'd exposed, and a sound that was almost a growl escaped them. They were pale pink and lacy. Because honestly. They knelt down between her legs and kissed slowly along the front of the low waistband, soft hot wet kisses against sensitive skin, and Cassidy moaned in agonized anticipation.

Lane's phone made a loud repetitive sound and Cassidy froze as they stood up and took three steps over to the kitchen counter to pick it up and silence it.

"Lane." Cassidy's voice quivered. "What was that?"

"It's my alarm," they told her, putting the phone down and coming back to where she sat, beautiful, so close to naked, her chest heaving with desire. "To tell me I have to get to work in ten minutes."

"You… knew that was going to happen." Cassidy looked up at them with betrayal and Lane kissed her open mouth.

"You started it, not me." They couldn't quite stop their grin from sneaking out and she pushed them away.

"Ten minutes?" she repeated, her chest still heaving. "I think you know I won't take that long." She looked up at them, sinking her teeth into her lower lip. Lane ran their fingers slowly down between her breasts all the way to where her zipper was undone, until they found soft lace.

"And I think you know," they returned, "that I won't be content to make you come just once." They traced one finger very lightly up the seam of the denim between her legs and she gasped. "I'm going to need hours," they murmured and Cassidy whimpered.

"You're killing me," she whispered, as Lane zipped her back up and buttoned the shorts, their lips only inches from hers. "Quit your job," she demanded weakly, their eyes meeting as they helped her back into her tank top. Lane smiled and went to kiss her again, but she dodged their mouth. "I'm so mad at you." She found her voice again, finally slipping off the table in defeat.

"How about this?" Lane took her hand and lifted it to their lips. "Go back inside and up to your bedroom. Take off all your clothes." They swallowed, suddenly not coping either, as they pictured it. "And touch yourself." They slipped two of Cassie's fingers just inside their mouth and softly sucked, getting them wet, watching as she visibly shivered, her breath getting faster. "Pretend I'm watching you," they said, their voice low, "showing me how you like to be touched. So next time you're here, I know exactly how to make you come."

"Lane…" she whimpered, trembling, on edge.

"You should go now, though." They let go of her fingers and pushed her gently to the door. "Unless you want everyone to find out you're sneaking around with the help," they teased her. She turned and gave them a quick glare.

"I think it's you who's worried they're going to get caught fooling around with the bad sister," she accused, and Lane kissed her quickly and thoroughly, then opened the door where she gave them one last blazing look then fled across the lawn.

Lane ducked straight into the shower. They stood under the hot water and wondered if Cassidy had made it back yet, if she was already touching herself the way they knew she would. Lane pressed their forehead against the cool shower tiles and pushed their own hand between their thighs. Like Cassidy had predicted, it took only a minute before they were desperately coming from their own hand, the sound of Cassidy's moans in their ears.

"Everything okay?" Brynn asked, her head jerking up with surprise from where she stood with Tucker as Cassidy pushed frantically through the glass door into the main house.

"Yes, totally fine!" she replied, running through the living room.

"Where's the fire?" Her sister paused, her eyes wide, as Cassidy passed her on the stairs.

"Nowhere, all good!" she threw over her shoulder.

"Oh, goodness!" Annabelle righted her as she all but barrelled into her on the way down the hall. "Be careful, please," she ordered as Cassidy apologized but didn't stop moving.

Finally, she hit her bedroom and locked the door behind her. She pulled her tank top off, unbuttoned her shorts, tugged off her utterly ruined panties, and paused. Bed? Still standing? Cassidy wasn't sure if her legs would hold her if Lane was really there with her, so she pushed back the covers and slid into the sheets. She didn't cover herself though, slipping her fingers down between her spread thighs and gasping as she discovered just how agonizingly wet she was.

She forced her fingers to move slowly, swirling them right where she burned, thinking of Lane's hard chest, the scent of their slick body, the desperation in their eyes as they touched her - like they would die if they didn't - the shocking heat of their mouth on her nipples and their lips teasing above her panties.

She imagined those eyes now, fixated intensely on her fingers as they circled faster, her hips canting up against her hand. She thought of them all but promising to finally make her come and wondered if right now they were touching themself too, Lane - beautiful, cautious, hungry Lane - coming hard at the thought of her. Her body clenched down ferociously as pleasure crashed through every nerve ending, making her cry out in the silence of her empty bedroom as she arched her back off the bed in heady sharp sensation before all but melting her into the sheets.

"Oh my god," she whispered in shocked awe, her fingers still pressing against where she'd thrust. It wasn't her first time touching herself since meeting Lane, but the pleasure in knowing Lane wanted her to do it, that Lane was thinking of her as she fucked herself against her fingers for them…it was so close to the real thing Cassidy could barely cope.

But now, finally, she knew, the real thing was actually going to happen. Tonight. Cassidy pulled the covers over her naked body and an unstoppable smile took over her face. She would make it happen tonight.

Lane liked her; there was no hiding it. And their complications were nothing in the face of their overwhelming desire for each other. It had reached a point that no one could stop it, the force of their lust bigger than either of them. Tonight, as soon as they could sneak away, she'd go to the guesthouse and Lane would look at her with that ravenous heat they could no longer hide and Cassidy would find herself naked, pressed up against that phenomenal body, dying of pained pleasure in their strong arms again and again and again.

Dinner was agony. Lane was next to her, which meant she could just about eat without feeling their eyes on her body. Instead, she felt the phantom heat of them, almost as clearly as if she were pressed up against their side. Every word they said - and they didn't say much - reverberated inside of her, making her dizzy with want as she remembered over and over their low tones as they told her exactly how they wanted her to touch herself.

When it was finally over and Lane got up from the table, Cassidy turned her head and their eyes met, just briefly. The glance was barely a second, but she still knew what it meant. Lane was going to be waiting for her. She just about repressed a shiver of anticipation.

"Surely you're not cold?" her sister asked her, as Brynn all but wrestled a complaining Tucker up away from the table inside to go start his bedtime routine. Cassidy shook her head, distracted, every part of her aware of Lane's departure, hearing the soft click of their door closing as if it were a starter's gunshot. From here, every second she wasn't in there, alone with them, was a second wasted. "I wanted to talk to you," Savannah continued, and Cassidy held back an impatient sigh. God, was this ever not the time. She turned her back on the guesthouse and tried to focus, needing to get this over quickly.

"Oh?" she asked, trying to concentrate on her sister's face.

"How are you doing?' Savannah asked her, commencing some kind of general preamble Cassidy responded to on autopilot, her thoughts entirely on Lane on the other side of that door, before suddenly her brain snagged on the words her sister was saying. "It's entirely up to you, of course. A new baby in the house is a bit like having a bomb go off. It would make total sense if you wanted to take the downtown apartment just to get some peace and quiet."

"You're kicking me out?" Cassidy felt winded. Her sister frowned.

"No, of course not," she soothed. "I'm just giving you the option. Your own roof over your head, if you feel like you need it-"

"Let's be clear." Cassidy's heart was pounding, the sharpness of the rejection making her thoughts race wildly. "You don't want me around the new baby, so you're trying to bribe me with my own apartment?"

"Cassidy-"

"You don't think this is history repeating at all?" she burst out, a hot pain beginning to spill within her like she'd been stabbed in the guts.

"What? No! What does that even mean?" Savannah was acting confused, like she didn't know what she was talking about and it pushed Cassidy a step too far.

"Why are you like this?" she cried. "What makes you do this all the time? What the fuck happened to you to make you think you can use your wealth to control people? Move us around like little chess pieces, like we all just live inside your sick little game?"

"Cass-"

"Our lives aren't even real to you, are they?" She was shouting now. "It doesn't even matter to you what we want, as long as the narrative stays the same: Savannah Grace, the kind, generous princess, housing her poor dirty family like the great human that she is. When the whole time you're just playing into your raging god complex."

"Cassidy-" Savannah's voice cracked and Cassidy wasn't even sure when she'd moved, just that she was staring down at her sister still in her seat from dinner, Savannah's eyes wide and imploring as if Cassidy was the bad guy here.

"All this time, I thought you didn't know what you did to us, but now I'm finally realizing that you just didn't care," she yelled. "It's your M.O. all along! What kind of sister are you? What kind of daughter? I feel sorry for your own daughter when she realizes what kind of soulless psychopath you really are!"

"Cassidy, stop!" The voice came from behind her, and she whirled around to see Lane standing six feet away, their face stricken. "Stop shouting at her!" Their voice was tense as they approached.

"Lane-" she started, both horrified and desperately relieved to see them.

"Are you okay?" Lane moved past her. They were talking to Savannah. Cassidy flinched. She looked over and saw her sister was white, hurt and confusion all over her face, her eyes shining bright with tears.

"I'm fine, Lane," she said, her voice small and tight. "It's okay." She hauled herself to her feet, her eyes on Cassidy. "This conversation," she said, "it's clearly not landing how I meant it-"

"Oh, of course-" Cassidy started sarcastically, her frustration spilling over.

"Stop." Lane put their hand out at her like they were dealing with one of their kindergarteners. "Just stop." Their tone was hard.

Cassidy was lost for words. She watched Savannah extricate herself.

"We can talk about this when you've calmed down," Savannah said quietly, "because I want to understand-"

"No, you don't," Cassidy said, defeated. "You never do."

Savannah paused, her hand on her lower back. It was a good move. She looked fragile, emphasizing the weight of the baby she carried on her small frame. Something cracked slightly inside Cassidy. She would not feel guilty. Not for finally speaking the truth. Seeing her chin rise, Savannah shook her head slightly, dropped her eyes, and walked back toward the house. Lane grabbed the door for her, their jaw tight, not looking away from the living room until Brynn appeared, concern on her face, her hands already reaching for her wife.

Cassidy looked away. It looked nice, having someone put their arms around you, not caring if you were right or wrong. She looked at Lane, imagining the warmth of their body if she were allowed to cry on their shoulder right now, but as she met their eyes, she knew that wasn't going to happen. Lane was staring at her like she was a stranger.

"You don't understand," she whispered, but Lane just shook their head.

"I understand all I need to understand," they said stiffly, the usual warmth in their eyes extinguished. Lane looked appalled and immensely sad.

"Lane," she tried, reaching out her hands, but they just shook their head.

"This…this is over, Cassidy," they said quietly. "This is exactly why we can't happen."

"Because if I fight with my sister, you'll always take her side? Without even hearing mine?" Her words were less angry than desperately hurt, but it all seemed to come out the same because Lane looked mad.

"You know what?" they said. "Yeah, probably. I don't think you understand this, but I love Savannah," they said fiercely, and Cassidy felt sick. "She saved my life and she's kept saving it. Over and over, whether it was getting me off the street, or getting me through college, or giving me a home and a job, or paying for top surgery… she's never stopped showing up for me." Their eyes were bright with unshed tears. "And what you were doing right now? That's not fighting. That's just attacking. I'm not…I won't be with someone that attacks my family, Cassidy."

Cassidy held herself incredibly still. She felt like a wounded creature that needed nothing more than a safe place to hide, desperately needing to find out which wound might be fatal. She stayed paralyzed, willing Lane away with her eyes, needing them gone because it was no longer safe to show her soft underbelly. It must have worked, because Lane just nodded slowly, and walked away.

Cassidy waited until she heard their door close. Then she fled into the dark.