Chapter Twelve

"You're not going to quit with this, are you?" Lane groaned from where they'd been innocently sunbathing on the back lawn a week later.

"No." Brynn shook her head, plonked annoyingly right next to them, a blade of grass twirling between her fingers. "Come on, Lane. She's twenty-four and she's never been literally anywhere. You're twenty-six and you never go out."

"I go out-"

"Yeah, occasionally, when you miraculously somehow always meet girls. But the rest of the time, your best friends are a five-year-old child and an old married lesbian. You need to get out and live your life."

"And by live my life you mean chaperone Savannah's little sister around town?"

"I think you'd have fun! Just… take her to a bar, go listen to a band, how bad could it be?"

"And this is my responsibility, why?"

"Because she's your age, and she's lonely and bored. And you're a nice person who wouldn't leave her hanging, and who could stand to get out a little too."

"Ugh," Lane groaned. "If I say yes will you leave me in peace?"

"On the condition you promise to make it happen this week?"

"I'll do you one better." Lane spotted Cassidy appearing at the edge of the lawn on the way back from her visit with her friend, an actual horse. "Hey, Cassidy!" they called. "Want to go hang out in Nashville with me tonight? Get a drink or whatever?"

Cassidy's head snapped up.

"Really?" She looked both shocked and excited. "Wait, why?"

"Because Brynn is forcing me to leave the house and making me invite you as well?" Beside them, Brynn sighed, but Cassidy just shrugged.

"Okay, sure."

That evening when Cassidy came down the stairs, Lane forced themselves to look at her properly.

"You look great," they said immediately. It wasn't a lie, though it was an understatement. Cassidy looked so beautiful it made Lane's teeth ache. Her dress was somehow a perfect blend of old Cassidy and new Cassidy: a sweet floral print, but the cut was modern and clinging. It left her pretty shoulders bare; her hair had been just slightly curled and kissed those same shoulders distractingly. The red lipstick was back, the one that made it frustratingly hard not to stare at her mouth.

"Thanks," she said with a small smirk that left Lane wondering if this time she was feeling a tad more confident of her appearance. It would be no wonder since Lane had practically fallen over themself to splutter about her attractiveness the other night at the Ryman. God, how embarrassing. "You look good too." She surveyed them frankly. "Shall we send a selfie to Mia?" she asked mischievously. Lane rolled their eyes and opened the door, gesturing her out to the waiting car.

"So, where am I taking you two tonight?" Burt looked from one to the other in the rearview mirror. There was a slightly knowing look in his eyes that Lane did not quite know how to correct.

"Downtown, maybe?" Lane told him, giving him a quick eyeball back in the mirror. "What do you want to do tonight?" they asked Cassidy.

"Honestly, I don't care." She looked at them and smiled. "I just want to be out of those damn glass walls and I want to hear some music."

"Okay, well, that's easy." Lane shrugged. "We can start off at Printer's Alley for a drink and see who's playing."

But the second they walked into the bar, Lane felt off. Sure there was a band on stage, but also, big screens were down around the room and-

"Oh fuck, it's a football night." They swallowed hard. Cassidy looked at them blankly.

"So? You hate football?"

"No, I hate footballers and people who love football," they hedged. "This is not going to be my scene."

The gender balance in the bar was badly skewed, mostly dudes. They were rowdy, shouting at the screens, the scent of beer strong in the air. A sense of anxiety crept up in Lane's chest.

"Shall we get a drink?" Cassidy looked at them uncertainly.

"Uh yeah." Lane moved them back towards the bar, not wanting to let Cassidy know how anxious they actually were. The line was long and they found their toe tapping impatiently, as they tried to figure out a good plan. Football night meant it didn't matter where they went, the crowd would be more or less the same everywhere. Perhaps Lane was overreacting. They could stay under the radar surely and still show Cassidy a good time.

"What are you looking at?"

Lane flinched, which was already the wrong thing to do. The semi-circle of big guys next to them in the queue were already staring them down and now they sensed fear. Fucking great.

"Nothing, man," they muttered. The closest guy leaned in.

"Man," he said comically, his eyebrows raised to his friends, who tittered like buffoons. "Is that what you are?" He must have been in his forties, well over six feet tall, absurdly muscular arms in his shirt sleeves. His greasy dark hair was pulled back into a scraggly ponytail and his eyes were small and hard. Lane bit back about eight cutting quips and settled for averting their eyes, hoping he'd lose interest. "I'm talking to you, you little freak." Nope, the voice was getting angrier. Lane was just about to drag Cassidy right the hell out of there when all of a sudden, her hand slid into theirs, entwining their fingers together.

"You gentleman aren't planning on ruining my evening by hassling my boyfriend, are you?" She looked up at the closest meathead, her tone sweet as pie.

The guy looked incredulous.

"That's not a boyfriend, honey," he said. "That's a-" He dropped a homophobic slur. Lane flinched again, but then out of nowhere, Cassidy was melding her body right into theirs, her fingers light on their chest as she smiled up at them with infatuated heat. Then she looked back at the looming harasser.

"Oh, believe me," she said, her tone all sex and insinuation, "I can definitely tell you that's not true." She smiled confidently. Lane held their breath, but now the guy was transferring his unwanted attention onto Cassidy.

"I think you might need to get to know a real man, pretty girl." He leered, taking another step closer, and his friends cheered. Lane's spine went rigid, but Cassidy just cocked her head, considering.

"Don't I know you?" she asked, searching his face. "I do! You're a friend of my dad's!" The guy blinked at her, standing still in his tracks. "Yes!" she continued as if delighted. "I've definitely seen you at one of his fights."

"Fights?" the guy said warily.

"Yes," Cassidy enthused. "My dad's Jaxon "Dead-Eyes" Knight. You know him? He got disqualified recently for going a bit too hard on a guy when he was down, but he'll be back in the ring soon. Oh look, there he is!" She waved excitedly toward the adjoining dining room. "You'll have to come say hi," she said to the guy, who was already backing towards his friends. "Come on babe, my dad's waiting." She pulled Lane along with her and they slipped past the protesting waitress and into the packed dining room.

"Holy shit," Lane said, their chest still tight, heart hammering. "You think fast on your feet."

"Necessary skill," Cassidy said, her voice slightly high. "Uh oh, where to now?" The dining room was fully seated, and there was no exit to the street.

"Come on." Lane grabbed her hand and pulled her right into the busy kitchen. Shouts followed, as the chef and kitchen hands whirled around them. Hand-in-hand they ran, bent over as if it would hide them, Cassidy squealing slightly in what sounded like glee as Lane tugged them out the chef's entrance tumbling into the alleyway behind the bar. They kept running, in case some angry waiter thought they were skipping out on their bill, until one alley turned into another and finally they stopped, both breathing hard, leaning side by side against the brick wall.

"Oh my god," Cassidy gasped, looking at them with wide eyes. "What a start!"

Lane looked back at her. She was so pretty, her eyes sparkling with mischief as if they'd just had a fun adventure instead of nearly getting the shit kicked out of them. Lane was supposed to be showing her around, being her safe guide and instead Cassidy was saving their ass.

"Can we rain check?" they said. "This is why I hate football nights." Cassidy blinked, her smile fading, and Lane's insides began to shrink. "I'm sorry," they said. "I feel terrible that this is going to ruin your night out."

Cassidy straightened her spine and turned her body toward Lane.

"It's fine," she said lightly. "In case you didn't notice, it's not a great night out tonight if you're a girl either."

Lane remembered the look in the big guy's eyes as he ran his eyes over Cassidy's body and they shuddered.

"I'll message Burt," they said, pulling out their phone. They sent a dropped pin and told him it was urgent, and then they waited.

"Does that kind of thing happen to you a lot?" Cassidy asked after a while. Lane stiffened.

"Nah. I mean sometimes." They swallowed. "My whole life."

"When you were a kid?" Cassidy looked at them. She didn't sound pitying, just curious.

"From when I was in my early teens," they told her. "It's changed a bit recently, though."

"How so?"

"Since I had top surgery and started T. Testosterone," they added when she looked blank. "When I was younger I used to get read as, like, a really masculine girl. You know…a baby butch lesbian, for the most part. Now I get read as a guy a lot of the time, but one that's not quite big or masculine enough. I used to get bashed as a dyke and now I get bashed as a fag."

"I literally have no idea why that's making you smile." Cassidy stared at them in the dark.

"Just that people are fucking ridiculous," Lane said wryly. "Honestly."

They were quiet for a little while.

"Coral says people hate in others what they're afraid of in themselves," Cassidy volunteered after a while. "And that they hate the parts of themselves they were taught to hate."

"When do you hang out with Coral?" Lane blinked.

"At the studio," she said. "And in bars and on shopping trips and day spas and salons."

"Right," Lane said, suddenly realizing who to blame for Cassidy's distracting metamorphosis. "Coral's cool."

"She's the best," breathed Cassidy. "I want to be her when I grow up, so badly."

"Why?" Lane was curious.

"She's so…confident. And talented, glamorous and cool. She holds her own space in the world without being an asshole about it. I wish I had a fraction of that. You have it too, you know." She glanced sideways at them.

"Not tonight, I didn't." Lane stared down at the ground.

"Seriously?" Cassidy gazed at them. "You didn't try to fight four huge men in a bar and that's threatening your sense of self?" Lane looked up at that. "You're right. You should definitely have taken them all on at once like some kind of action movie hero; that would have been the cool thing to do."

Lane snorted.

"Is your dad really some kind of fighter?"

"No." She shrugged. "He's just some loser. But guys like that are never going to respect someone like you or me. They only give a shit if a tougher, stronger guy makes them. So I invent my own."

As Lane looked at her in surprise, headlights suddenly lit up the alleyway. Cassidy sank back against the wall, but Lane grabbed her forearm and tugged her along with them to the safety of Savannah's driver.

Once inside the car, Lane felt the tension melt off their shoulders. No one had gotten beaten up, Cassidy was safe, they were on their way home. Almost equally sharp was the sense of regret. The night they could have had flashed in their mind. Cassidy laughing at their side, slightly tipsy from a good drink, the two of them dancing to a live band, those blue eyes taking in a whole world that Lane could show her. Instead, they were going home to their same old lives.

"I'm sorry that happened to your night," Burt spoke up from the front seat after Cassidy had told them briefly what had happened. "Don't let it color your idea of Nashville," he told her. "No town is at its best when the footballers are in charge."

"It's okay," she said evenly, but Lane could still hear the disappointment in her tone.

A moment later, Burt spoke up again, glancing at Lane in the rearview mirror.

"You know, Nashville's changed a lot, for better and for worse. When I was young, it wasn't all that safe for us either." Lane's ears pricked up. They'd chatted to Burt hundreds of times, but he'd never used the word us in quite that way. His next words confirmed their dawning realization. "I was pretty good at flying under the radar, but some of the guys I dated weren't. We got good at finding our own scene."

"Like actual gay bars?" Lane said curiously.

"Yeah, sometimes," he agreed. "But also, just carving out our own spaces, making our own kinds of nights. In fact-" He glanced at the road outside as they turned away from the city and the world opened up into dark countryside around them. "There's a nice little spot around here you ought to check out, since your night got cut short. Want to take a look?"

Lane looked at Cassidy. Her eyes were bright and curious, so Lane shrugged.

"Sure."

After a mile or two, Burt turned down a small country lane, then pulled up in an alcove surrounded in trees. He stopped the car, then rummaged under the passenger seat, chucking a neatly folded picnic rug toward Lane.

"It's just through there." He cocked his head toward a path between the trees, lit up by the moonlight. Lane looked at Cassidy again. She didn't seem at all fazed by being out in the middle of nowhere in the dark. She was a country girl, after all. Lane, on the other hand, wasn't entirely convinced this wasn't creepy as fuck. Burt, however, was already pulling out one of the hefty novels that always accompanied him and resting back in the driver's seat, so Lane, having already had Cassidy take control over the situation once already, made a point of leading the way.

The pathway was dim, but opened up on the other side of the trees into a tall grassy paddock lit up by the bright moonlight.

"Oh!" Cassidy arrived beside them, where Lane had stopped to stare. A few meters away stood some kind of tall metal tower. It was clearly built for function, not for aesthetics, but what function Lane wasn't sure. A long metal ladder started about a foot off the ground and led up into the distance.

"Not scared of heights are you?" Lane looked at Cassidy and she scoffed. She grabbed hold of the ladder and climbed ahead. Lane gave it long enough to make sure they weren't right under her dress as she moved up the rungs, then followed after her. As they stepped off the top, their breath caught.

Beyond the metal platform, spread the moonlit fields into the distance, and beyond that, a perfect view of the Nashville skyline lit up before them.

"Oh my god," Cassie whispered, delight sparking off her. "It's beautiful."

Lane suddenly felt like maybe the night wasn't totally ruined after all. They spread out the picnic rug and the two of them sat side-by-side, gazing out at the view.

"Damn," they said after a while. "We totally should have brought wine up here."

"Next time," Cassidy said. "You can bring Mia up here and impress her with your romantic knowledge of the countryside." Her voice was teasing and Lane rolled their eyes.

"Yeah, yeah." They smiled, but honestly, Lane was secretly stoked that Cassidy was getting to see this with them. It beat a seedy bar off of Honky Tonk Avenue any day. They sat in silence for a while, listening to the quiet sounds of the country night, the occasional swoosh of a car on the highway beyond.

"Do you always date girls?" Cassidy asked out of nowhere. Lane looked at her. She seemed interested in the answer.

"Mostly," they said. "Depends on your definition, I guess. I like feminine people, but I don't really care how they identify."

"So boys or girls or anyone, as long as they're feminine?"

"Kind of? It works out as mostly girls, but theoretically, I'm open to anyone. Except cis het guys really."

"Because they're not usually feminine?"

"They're not usually," Lane agreed. "But I'm so masc these days they're not likely to be attracted to me anyway. Besides, they're pretty much all socialized to think they should always be in charge, and I'm not into that either."

"You like to be in charge?" Cassidy's voice got softer and, for some reason, Lane's stomach flipped.

"Yeah, a little," they admitted. Cassidy was quiet for a while. Lane kept their eyes on the view, but at least half their brain was taken up by Cassidy beside them, inexplicably exploring Lane's sexual preferences.

"Have you slept with a lot of girls?" she asked a moment later.

Lane gazed up at the sky.

"Yeah," they said simply. "Quite a few."

"I've only slept with one person," Cassidy confessed. "I dated him for nine months and we had sex a bunch of times. But it never got any better."

Lane looked at her now. She was studying the skyline, but she was frowning a little. She looked like she was revealing a deep, dark secret. Lane remembered she was from a conservative church-going family and figured that to Cassidy, maybe that's exactly what it was.

"What did you guys do?" they asked, wanting to get to the bottom of this confession. Cassidy blanched.

"What do you mean, what did we do?"

"What kind of sex did you have?" Lane pressed.

"The sex kind!" Cassidy looked at them incredulously.

"So…basic heterosexual penetration," Lane confirmed.

"That's what I said." Cassidy looked like she was regretting the entire conversation already.

"Did you do anything else? Like at all?"

"I mean… we kissed and stuff." She stared hard at the skyline. "And you know, he liked it if I… used my mouth."

"Right." Lane nodded. "And did he return the favor?"

"No," Cassidy said shortly.

"Well, no wonder you had a crap time," they said. "Sounds like he was terrible in bed."

Cassidy stared at them. She seemed a little lost for words.

"How…" she started and then stopped. "What would you do differently?"

Lane stared at her, startled.

"What would I do, if I was having sex with you?" They confirmed the parameters of the conversation. Cassidy went bright pink in the moonlight and nodded. Lane tried to remember how to breathe. They were pretty sure Cassidy was just knowledge-seeking here. Wasn't she?

"Well," they said slowly, "I guess for starters I wouldn't so much as touch you there-" they glanced over at Cassidy's lap, "until you were so turned on you were begging me to." They heard Cassidy's breath catch and their stomach tied itself in knots. Recklessly, they couldn't help elaborating, just a little. "I wouldn't touch you there until you wanted it so badly you felt like you'd die if I didn't."

For a moment there was just silence and Lane couldn't bring themself to pull their eyes away from the safe, distant view.

"How would you make me feel that way?" Cassie's voice was whisper soft in the still of the night. Lane took another breath.

"I mean, there are so many other places I could touch you that would make you feel good." They tried to channel a basic sexologist. "I'd take my time, use my hands and mouth on all of them." Desire unspooled through their body at the thought. God, how they'd use their hands and mouth on her.

"You really think you could make me beg?" Cassidy's voice was low and incredulous, and Lane started to think the whole conversation had been a weird, elaborate tease.

"Yeah," they said with cool confidence. "I know I could."

For another few seconds, there was silence. Then Cassidy spoke.

"Lane." Her voice was a ragged whisper. "Please…"

Well, that was easy,Lane almost quipped, but when their eyes met Cassidy's and saw the blue of her irises blown dark with deep need, Lane was leaning in and kissing her before they even knew they would. And what the fuck? How did sharp, prickly Cassidy have a mouth like that? So soft and warm and pliant that Lane was slipping in to taste her without even pausing to think about what they were doing.

They pulled back, worried they were overstepping drastically, but Cassidy just took a soft breath and tilted her face up close with shining parted lips, until Lane was kissing her again. Their tongues were exploring each other, heated and deliberate, and Lane distantly thought that even if Cassidy had only had bad sex, she was still a damn good kisser. And then they remembered the rest of the conversation.

Gently, so Cassidy knew it was an offer and not a demand, Lane began to kiss their way up her throat. As their tongue softly stroked against her warm skin, Cassidy took in a shaky breath. They kissed their way slowly and thoroughly up to just beneath her ear, then softly sucked her earlobe, teasing the pretty shell of her ear with incredibly soft breath and a hint of tongue. Cassidy shivered, a moan escaping her throat, and Lane couldn't help tugging her up and into their lap to kiss her more deeply.

It was another escalation in heat and dizzily Lane pulled back to check in. Cassidy's legs were curled around their hips, the pretty dress pushed up her pale thighs and Lane's mouth went dry at the sight. Forcing themself to stay still, they held tight to her waist and watched her as her breath came out in little gasps.

"Please don't stop," Cassidy whispered, darting a brief heated look into their eyes, and Lane's hands moved like they had a mind of their own.

"Can I?" They remembered to ask, their voice soft, fingers resting on the buttons down the front of her dress and Cassidy nodded quickly. Lane focused on keeping their fingers steady as they pulled one button undone and then another and another. Then it was Lane's turn to take a sharp breath.

They'd been planning on maybe teasing Cassidy through her bra, imagining scraping their fingers over a hard nipple under lace. Instead, as they tugged the dress open, all they found was Cassidy.

"You're…not wearing a bra," they said, their words made blunt and stupid because of how all the blood in their brain had just rushed ferociously south. Cassidy glanced down at her body.

"I don't like them," she said simply. "I don't wear them unless I absolutely have to." Lane had a brief moment of pained realization at the coming daily torment in their life, now they had this information.

They couldn't stop staring. Cassidy - in their lap, with her dress tugged astray, the moonlight on her perfectly bare breasts - was literally the sexiest thing Lane had ever seen in their life, and that was despite having been intentionally modest about the amount of women they'd gotten to see naked.

"Oh fuck." Their breath escaped helplessly. "Cassie," they whispered, "they're so pretty."

Cassidy lowered her lashes. She arched her back slightly in Lane's lap and Lane was momentarily concerned they were about to disgrace themself, just from the view alone. A hungry sound escaped them and they stroked their fingers over the shape of her, letting their fingertips trace lightly over rigid pink nipples. Cassidy gasped raggedly as Lane leaned in to kiss their way over her breasts. She arched harder, pressing for more contact, and Lane began to lick and nip at her for real. They tugged a hard nipple between their lips and scraped their teeth over it, then began to suck.

Cassidy's hips started to writhe as she moaned softly at the sensation. God, the sounds she made, Lane was almost in pain hearing her. She began to push herself against Lane's lap, hungry for friction. They were rapidly reaching the point of no return. Lane was longing to slip their fingers under her dress and up those pretty thighs, imagining how hot and wet she'd be, judging from the flush of her throat and the taste of her kiss. With agonized, supreme effort, they just barely managed to remember who they were and exactly what the hell they were doing.

Lane pulled back slowly and dropped a quick kiss on her upturned lips. Then, desperately aiming for business-like, they pulled together the front of her dress and methodically began to do up the buttons.

Cassidy stilled, her chest heaving under their hands.

"Lane." Her voice sounded slightly strangled. "What are you doing?"

"Cassidy." They managed to make their voice sound normal, their mouth still temptingly far too close to hers. "Did you honestly think we were going to have sex up here? On a hard metal tower in a field, while Burt waits in the car? Because if you did, you've seriously underestimated what sex with me would be like."

Cassidy took a ragged breath as Lane finished with her buttons and smoothed the front of her dress.

"Burt seemed to have managed it just fine in his day," she pointed out, as if this jibe would sway them. Her eyes were still dark, but now slightly aggravated. Lane gently shoved her off their lap.

"Well, I suggest you go ahead and ask him how he did it." They grinned at her wide-eyed, indignant face. Quickly before they caved into the temptation to touch her again, they scooped up the picnic rug and stepped onto the ladder. "Come on, before Burt gets the wrong idea about our evening."

"Or the right one," Cassidy pointed out, following them down. Lane's stomach clenched at that. Tonight wasn't a date, but some very date-like activity had just taken place. With Cassidy. Oh shit, if Brynn didn't kill them, Savannah definitely would. Lane led the way back to the car quickly, Cassidy close on their heels.

"How was that?" Burt asked as they both climbed back into their seats, Cassidy banging the door closed with slightly too much force.

"Prettiest view I've ever seen," Lane confirmed, definitely not lying. Cassidy cut their eyes towards them and then out the window, sitting stiffly. There was a terrible part of Lane that was enjoying seeing Cassidy looking prickly again and trying to be dignified, knowing without a doubt she was sitting in slick wet panties. Their smugness was somewhat undone by the persistent throb their own body was doing at the thought of her obvious arousal.

Their thoughts flew by as fast as the dark roadside, and then all of a sudden Burt was dropping them off inside the compound. The two of them farewelled him and began to walk, side by side, as he drove away. At the precise mid-point between the main house and the guesthouse, Cassidy stopped walking. Lane turned to look at her.

"Take me to bed with you," she said, and Lane swallowed hard. They'd never been so simply and directly propositioned by someone so extremely tempting. They also knew if they let Cassidy into the guesthouse tonight, they'd never be able to stop until they'd had all of her. And judging by the look on Cassidy's face, no one would be putting the brakes on anything tonight. For one heated second Lane wavered, the sound of Cassidy's gasps and moans still echoing in their ears. Imagined having her naked.

"Cassidy," they said instead, deliberately not touching her, despite how their hands itched to. "We kind of live together," they pointed out. "My job, your sister… It's too complicated. We can't just jump into bed together."

"Feels like we could." Cassidy looked at them from under her lashes, and Lane took another steadying breath.

"Yeah," they admitted, swallowing hard. "It really does."

"Then-" Cassidy stepped closer, her lips parted and begging, her eyes full of hunger. Lane kissed her, just quickly and just once, before forcing themself to stop.

"Goodnight Cassidy." They stepped back, watching as the surprise flared in her eyes, then turned and bolted into the guesthouse, before they could complicate things even more than they already had.