27. THE END. MAYBE

27

THE END. MAYBE

I was staring up at the underside of a tree whose branches spread wide across my vision. Lines of color and varying thickness sparkled and danced like those I'd seen at the foot of the Norns.

Lifelines flared and I saw my brothers, I saw Bebe, I even saw Han.

They were alive and well.

I blinked and the vision was gone, and the cold of the ground made itself known to me. I groaned and rolled to my side, breathing in the smells all around me. Living things, dirt, stagnant water.

I pushed to my feet slowly, taking in the fact that I was naked, and smelled as ripe as the things around me. "Where the fuck am I?"

I think we're back in Alaska. My golden said, her voice gentle .

That was new. "You…you can talk to me now?"

Until you don't need me in that way. We thought it best.

How the hell did you hug a piece of yourself? I started to walk, picking the easiest path through the trees. The scenery looked familiar. "Thank you."

I got you. The golden huffed and I could feel her joy at being with me. Her absolute fucking joy oh…look. A pond. The pond behind the bookstore.

My feet were moving before I could stop myself. I dove into the water and came up squealing. "That's…not what I wanted to do!"

Sorry not sorry! This is an amazing pond, can we come and swim here often?

I laughed. "Sure."

Wading out of the pond, I headed toward the back of the bookstore. I was alive.

The world was saved.

"Cin!"

The screech spun me around. Bebe was running in cat form straight for me. I held my arms out and she leapt into them, her panic and relief bubbling out of her. "Oh my gods, you did it! You're back! I was so fucking worried don't you ever do that to me again, girlfriend!"

I held her tight and lifted her to my shoulder. "I need to get some clothes."

"And ice cream. We can at least have that, right?" She clung to me, her claws digging at me mercilessly .

Up the back stairs I went while Bebe chattered on and on, telling me how she'd gone to Asgard and demanded that they send me back to her. How Hel had dropped her off and then disappeared, and it had been Tyr who'd delivered her back to earth.

"You went to bat for me, Bebe." I set her down on the back of the couch. "You're the best friend I have ever had. You know that, right?"

"Best. Bitches. Ever." She grinned.

I showered—damn it, my hair was a mixture of blonde and black like I'd just kind of gone crazy with the highlights. The mark of Loki was still there but faded. Like a pale scar. I had a new mark around my wrist that looked like a light green tattoo. The scales wrapped around my wrist, and Jor's eyes stared up at me from the underside of my wrist. "Hello, friend," I whispered, running my fingers over the mark.

"Anything you want to tell me?" I said once I was in clean sweatpants and a sweatshirt and curled up on the couch with a hot tea.

"What do you mean?" Bebe sat next to me, making biscuits against my hip, as if she'd massage my fatigue away all by herself.

I frowned at her. "Are you something more than you've told me? Like what Han and Havoc said about you being more than you have admitted to?"

She didn't shift into two legs. She curled up next to me. "No. I'm not magic like that. I'm…hell…I'm human, Cin. Or I was. But I've been trapped as a cat with Petunia's magic a long fucking time. Longer than I let on. And I think…I feel like it's changed me. Shouldn't I have aged? Cause I haven't."

"How long has it been?"

She grimaced. "It makes me look bad. Like how long it took me to break the curse, to love someone truly."

"How long, Bebe?"

"About thirty years." She flattened her ears to her head. "So I'm close to your age then."

"Maybe you'll find out you have more magic than you thought," I said. "Who knows?"

She began to purr. "I hate to admit it, but I'm almost more comfortable being a cat than a woman now. I mean there are times being a woman rocks of course but in between the hot and heavy this is pretty good."

I hadn't dared to see if my connection to Havoc was alive. I was afraid of what I would find. Or worse, what I wouldn't. I needed a distraction.

"I had to give up my wolf," I blurted the words out.

She gasped. "That…that was what they made you give up?"

"I had a choice, and my wolf made it for me. She knew that I needed my golden more. That I needed to know joy and love, compassion. That my time with my wolf was done; she'd taught me all she could. "

Yup, broke down crying right there. Bebe shifted to two legs, grabbed some clothes and held me while I sobbed. So much grief, and like Bebe, so much gratitude. I had my golden. I had Bebe. But there was someone missing.

"I don't even know if Havoc made it. He said he'd follow me into death; what if they didn't tell him that I didn't actually die? He wouldn't have…"

She stroked my hair and held me close. "You'll find him, Cin. I know you will."

I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe I would find him.

I just didn't know how. Because when I finally looked at the bonds I had tied to me, he wasn't there.

Three weeks later I was in the bookstore, helping sort out a new order. Denna was back, having made a long trip across the country, and pissed that we left her out of everything. But I also saw the relief in her that she hadn't had to face anything else terrifying.

She was a good friend.

Bebe lounged across the coffee table in front of Richard. As far as I knew, my brother didn't realize that she could shift to two legs. I didn't ask what Bebe was waiting for.

Ship had gone back to Grayling, to try and pull the pack together. He wasn't as strong an alpha as me or Richard, but I understood that he wanted to try and make his way in the world, without Juniper.

No one had seen or heard from Mars. Richard said he could sense him, but there was a feeling of distance. Like Mars didn't want to be found.

That cut deep, but I couldn't make Mars want to be here. He had his own life to live. Maybe he was trying to figure out how to undo his curse too.

Havoc's pack was gone. Berek and Claire had gone the second I'd taken Jor up on his ride across the world via my back pond. Not that I blamed them. I'd have kicked Claire's ass for helping Havoc at that point.

Han was…no longer my mate. There was no mate bond of any sort attached to me. So wherever he was, he was on his own. And strangely, I found myself wishing him luck.

Maybe now that he was free of Sven's spell, he could find a path that was truly his own.

"This little seed is ah-mazing!" Bob held up the small pot. He'd dug the tree of life out of the spot Bebe had buried it, found a beautiful golden pot and replanted it. "Look at how much this beauty has grown already!"

He wasn't wrong. The tree had sprouted up several inches in the first week. The wood was still quite green, which meant there was no way to see what the final bark color would be. Mahogany. Oak. Fir. Cedar. But always, there was a glow around it, the sun peeking through the bits of bark and tiny green shoots.

I stroked a finger over the budding leaves, feeling a deep connection to the plant. "She is a beauty."

The softest tones, like a distant howl rippled through me from the tree. My golden huffed in recognition. I put a hand to my chest. My wolf was still with me, as long as the sapling was here.

"Oh, did I tell you, Cin, about the new guy in town?" Bob set the tree of life down (no, he had no idea what it truly was). "He's de-lic-ious. You should see if he would take you out on a date. As long as it isn't another brother of yours come to town." He made a gesture to Richard. "They are handsome, your brothers."

The door tinkled behind us and Bob gasped. "From my lips to god's ears. Tell me he isn't related to you."

I turned and time slowed and the only thing I could see was Havoc. He hadn't lost the scar over his eyes…eyes that were now darkness ringed in blue as if his wolf had merged more fully with him. He never looked away from me as I walked toward him, and slid my arms around his neck.

I wondered what he'd given up to be here. To be with me.

The rest of the world fell away as his arms wrapped around me. "I chose you," I whispered.

He smiled down at me. "Good thing. Because I'm not going anywhere, Goldie. Though I'm mortal now, so let's not do any more near-death trips."

"Deal." I smiled up at him.

My golden about turned inside out, her joy flooding me, pushing back the grief and sadness, the fear and uncertainty. I leaned into her emotions as he pressed his mouth to mine, the joy flooding us both.

Giving us the happily ever after we both deserved.

For now.