23. REDEMPTION OF THE DEAD

23

REDEMPTION OF THE DEAD

I stared at the spirit of the tree of life. Suvenia stood with me in a space of nothing, with light shimmering around the spirit of the tree of life, and that was all I could truly see. There was no tree, no threads reaching out to the nine realms.

Nothing.

"We've got to quit meeting like this."

Suvenia laughed softly, the wooden bark of her face crinkling. "Your loved ones are still waiting for you, back there, you aren't dead yet. We shouldn't leave them waiting long. But I need to give you this, and my son foolishly gave me a way to do so when he stabbed you with the last of my body."

She held out her hand and pressed something round and hard into my palm. I looked down on the seed. It was a deep brown, but tiny flecks of silver sparkled through it as I rolled my palm. "It's beautiful."

"It is my last seed. Plant it close to your heart, where love flows, and wind caresses, where peace finds you, and the sun gives its… all . It will be safe there for three years."

I clutched at the seed, holding it tight to me. "This…this will save the realms?"

She shrugged. "Given time and given a proper caretaker. The realms will be unstable for those three years, but that is not terribly new. Three years after planting it, you will need to re-plant it."

"I kill green things," I whispered, horror filling me. This was almost worse than if I'd been asked to go on an epic quest to save the world. That was possible, that was something I could at least attempt.

Me keeping a green anything alive was not.

Her smile was gentle. "You must find the proper caretaker, I do not think it will be you. You will know the person. This seed needs love. And care. And sacrifice. To help it grow and take hold, a gift of life freely given before it is planted. Then, when the first blooms come upon it, it will be strong enough to go on a final journey to be replanted at the center of the realms."

Her words were a little bit overwhelming, but through it all I heard only one thing. There was a chance to save the worlds, to save the tree of life itself. To set things right that I'd put into motion when I'd killed Juniper.

I held tight to the seed. Avoiding the question I really wanted to ask.

"Why would my mother bind herself to you? It didn't save her."

Her sigh was heavy. "She thought it would give her power. But she—and my son—do not understand everything. The fact that he stabbed you with what was left of me proves it."

"Once he understood what she'd done, he knew I would kill her one day." I frowned. "And in killing her, it would shatter your life force."

"I believe so, though it was only recently he learned what she did. He gave her knowledge of how to make and steal mate bonds, many years ago, for a price of course, but even he didn't know what she'd done until he went back to Grayling with Han." She dipped her head in my direction. "What he did not take into account was that you were a child of destiny—that every choice you make creates a ripple in the world. You threw a curve ball, as they say."

Her words solidified what I'd been thinking. "That's a shit power."

"I don't think so." Her smile was gentler than when I'd first met her. "We all make choices, yours just…hold more oomph to them. They interact with destiny be cause of the way your life is tied to the world. It's an unusual ability. But not shit."

I knew I had time here, but even with the time, I was anxious to get back to the others.

"And Ragnar?k?"

"I do believe that you have changed too many things…new prophecies will be laid out by the Norns, a new oracle will be born. New heroes will rise. New monsters will challenge them."

I grimaced. "You mean it's not really over yet?"

She shook her head. "The story is never truly over. But your story…your story is nearing the end."

That took me to the question I didn't want to ask.

"And the sacrifice you mentioned, needed to start the seed growing?"

Sad, she looked so sad, and I knew what she was going to say before it ever came out of her mouth. "The life of one taken, the life of one given, and the heart of a warrior."

I swallowed hard. "The three wolves, like the journal."

She dipped her head. "Three souls, yes. Go to the center of Hel's home, to the vortex. Cast the sacrifices there. The energy will disperse to the seed, you only have to make that choice."

I didn't want to leave her, not because I was happy here, but because I knew what waited for me out there . In Hel's realm I would have to say my hardest goodbyes yet.

She leaned in and pressed her forehead to mine. "Trust, young one. Trust in your heart and your instincts."

I drew a deep breath, the scent of wood and woodlands sinking into me. The pain of being stabbed returned to me full force as I left the spirit of the tree of life and found myself cradled carefully in Bebe's arms. I glanced down. The splinter was gone, transformed into the seed that was now inside of me.

"Not by a long shot," Hel said.

Everything was fast, so very fast. Like the world had sped up.

I knew what I had to do, but sending Bebe away…that would be the first step. My mouth felt full, as I lay there, and I rolled the seed around in my mouth. Carefully I pulled it free, and Bebe gasped.

"Cin! Cin! Talk to me! The wooden stake is gone! You're alive! Hel showed up, and she took care of Sven. But you were still dead!"

She clutched me to her, and I returned the hug. Over her shoulder I could see that Sven was still there, trapped in a box of ice. And boy did he look pissed.

I closed my eyes and held my friend for a moment.

"I need you to take this, Bebe." My voice was cut with pain as the wound pulled and stretched. I lifted the seed to my mouth and released the sun into it. The seed began to glow, warm with the power of the sun. "Please, everyone's life depends on it."

Bebe took the seed and stared at it. "You aren't coming?"

I shook my head. "I need you to go plant it, right now. Near the pond. And then…ask Bob and George to look out for it."

Bebe was shaking her head. "No, I can't leave you! Wait, who's Bob?"

"Bob is a good friend of mine. He's got a green thumb. And you have to do this. I can't."

"I left you once already, I won't do it again!" She leaned into me. "Don't ask me…"

"You are my second in command, Bebe. I am telling you as your alpha to go and plant this seed. You can't help with the rest of this journey." I pressed it into her hands.

With everything I had, I pulled away from her and stood, barely able to keep my feet under me. I locked my knees, my one hand still tangled with hers.

Bebe stayed on the floor where she was. "I can't…I promised."

"I know. But you need to do this now."

I looked at Hel. "Would you mind taking her?"

Hel sighed. "I suppose. You don't want Jor to take her?"

I shook my head. "She needs to go now."

Hel dipped her head. "Seeing as you've just come back from near death, and Ragnar?k is no longer on the table because of you, I will do this."

The death goddess reached over to Bebe and took her by the hand. Bebe stared at me. "Cin, you're my best?—"

They disappeared. I swallowed hard. One down.

"Jor," I said, "can you help me get to the vortex at the center of Hel?"

Jor's body quivered. "That's a place we don't go unless…"

"Unless we're going to sacrifice something," Han said.

Havoc stepped toward me, and I stepped back. "I am going to die. That's what you want, isn't it? That's the spell that Sven wove into you?" That gave me pause as I glanced at the ass who'd spelled Havoc. "What if we killed him?"

Jor chuckled. "See, this is why I like you. You seem kind, and then you're like…let's kill that prick!"

Havoc's jaw tensed and his hands twitched as if it were taking everything in him to not strangle me right there. "It would remove it."

Sven was locked in a block of ice, and I could feel my life leaking out of me. There was no time to thaw him out, and light him on fire. I didn't have that kind of magic.

I sighed. "Awesome. Jor, can you take me?"

He slid toward me and lowered himself so I could more easily swing a leg over his thick body. "I don't like this. You mean to die then? Really?"

"I don't want to, but it's the sacrifice the tree of life demands to live on." I steadied myself on his back and turned to look at Han and Havoc.

One life taken. "We can toss Sven in; he can be the life taken seeing as he caused all this. That should kill him."

And Havoc would be free for a few moments.

Jor's tail flicked out and he wrapped it around the block of frozen tree man that was Sven.

I swallowed hard. "I need one of you to…sacrifice yourself with me."

Han's chin dropped to his chest. "Fuck. I should have known. We are…the three of us are tied so tightly together…"

Havoc didn't look away from me. "One of us dies. Not just you."

I nodded slowly. "Yes."

"Good."

That was…not quite the answer I'd been expecting.

He moved toward Jor and leapt up behind me, his hands went around my waist, his warmth and proximity too much. It was dangerous, but I leaned back into him, peace flowing over my skin as I just allowed myself to be in that moment with him. "Just don't kill me before we get there. "

Han shook his head. "This is fucked up. Can't we just offer a pint of blood or something?"

"I agree," Jor grumbled. "This is stupid. I lose my coffee friend, and we've only really had one coffee together!"

I patted Jor's scales. "I am sorry, my friend. Take Bebe out for coffee, she will need someone who understands what we've been through. And Richard. Take Richard too."

Jor snorted. "Might as well bring Fen along then. Make it a party."

That thought and resulting image actually made me smile. "I think he would like that."

Han took a step back. "I won't do it."

Of course not. "I can't make you, no one can." Because the point of it was the sacrifice. That's what the tree had said. One life taken. One life sacrificed. A warrior's heart.

My wolf grumbled under my skin, fury lighting her up. My golden seemed to wrap around her, calming her. Whispering that it wasn't the time for rage.

It was time for goodbyes.

Jor started moving across the black marble floor. I let my hands rest on top of Havoc's.

Han watched us, I could feel his eyes on me still. The mate bond was ridiculously still intact for him.

"Goodbye, Princess."

"Goodbye, Han." That at least was an easy goodbye .

I closed my eyes and just leaned against Havoc. His hands twitched. "Is it very hard to control the urge to kill me?"

"Less now that I know what's coming."

Now that he knew I was going to die in a few moments.

He lowered his head to the crook of my neck and pressed his mouth there, the softest of rumbles sliding up from his throat and into me.

There was no orgasmic thrill, no clenching of my body, no screaming of names.

Communion of a different kind, an afterglow without the passion, the knowledge that I'd fought away a fate that would have tied me to the wrong man, to be here in this moment.

That I'd made the choice to love him.

And he'd made the choice to love me.

"Funny," I whispered, my fingers wrapping around his. "Isn't it?"

"What's funny?" Havoc tugged me closer to his body, simply holding me as Jor took us deeper into hell.

"That I had to come all this way, to find out that where I belonged was never a place."

The air whooshed out of him and Jor shivered. "You're going to make me cry."

"I didn't want any of this," Havoc lowered his voice.

"Neither did I. "

He pressed his mouth to my neck. "I would choose this path again. I would choose the pain again. You were mine from the beginning, Goldie, I knew it and tried so hard to fight it."

Tears slipped out of my control, down my cheeks, falling off my chin and landing on our joined hands. He reached up and brushed his thumb across my face, wiping them away.

"Gods!" Jor snapped. "This is awful! Fucking stupid!" He shivered and his skin kept rippling.

Jor was not happy.

But for just those few minutes, the world was where it needed to be. Or at least my world was. Havoc wasn't trying to kill me. Sven had been stopped. My family was safe.

"You aren't afraid," Havoc said. Of course, his nose was pressed close to my skin, and he would have been able to smell my fear.

"No. I never thought I'd have a long life. Not growing up in Grayling with Juniper for a mother." I turned my head to look him in the eyes. "You aren't afraid either."

"I am with you."

He swallowed hard and his dark eyes flickered, the blue of his wolf there for just a moment. " I am with you ."

"We're here. Gods, I hate that we're here," Jor cried and threw himself flat on the ground. Sobbing .

The Midgard serpent, destroyer of worlds had his head flat on the ground and was sobbing as if his heart had been torn free. "I hate this!"

I slid off his back and gave him a gentle pat. "It will be okay, Jor. I promise."

"No, don't make me promises you can't keep!" Jor snapped, his head coming around. His big eyes were bloodshot, and tears dropped to the ground, sizzling. "You won't be here. Do you know how long it's been since I've had a friend? My family hates me. You understand that. Of all the people…" He tipped his head back and bellowed.

I stepped back from him to see this vortex where my life would end. The ground was a thick green grass that came up to my knees, and all around us were trees that rose hundreds of feet in the air. The forest circled an open hole. Sparks and bits of light trickled up, as if a fire lay in the bottom. I crept closer to the edge.

I'd fully expected the vortex to be fire and darkness, fear and screaming souls.

You know what it fucking well looked like?

A frothing, foaming river, the water was blue and white as it spun and slammed into the side walls of the hole.

"You gotta be shitting me," I whispered. Why was it always a river?

A low growl turned me around. Havoc was hunched. "I can't…I can't fi ght him."

He held out his hand and his ax appeared, his fingers wrapped around the shaft and he lifted his eyes to mine.

Only it wasn't his eyes looking back at me. They were neither black or blue.

They were dark brown and sparkled with malice.

I looked past Havoc to where Sven stood at the tail end of Jor. Dethawed.

Grinning.

Because he had us all now.