21. HEL-RACIOUS

21

HEL-RACIOUS

U sing the tree for a surfboard really was the way to make an entrance. The creature bellowed and screamed as we got closer to the big round portal that sat smack in the middle of the path. I couldn't see into it, there was nothing but darkness.

It expanded as we got close, allowing for the extra size of the tree.

I crouched. "Hang on, Bebe."

"I ain't fucking letting go now!" She buried her face against my neck. "Tell me when it's over."

Funny, with all we'd faced, I hadn't expected her to freak out here. It wasn't like we could even see what we were going into.

I drew a breath right before we slid through the portal .

Because maybe we'd land in water again.

Maybe we'd land in a place that had no air. Who fucking knew?

The tree skidded away as the portal enveloped us.

I couldn't see a thing and I stumbled a few steps before the place opened up and gave me a view.

We stood on the top of a rock shelf that was hundreds of feet in the air. The tip of my boot hung over the edge. Rock formations were everywhere, as if I were standing at the edge of an underground Grand Canyon.

The screams of the frozen tree as it fell drew my eyes straight down. Below my feet, off the cliff edge was a classic boiling pit of lava—very hell like. Only it wasn't red, it was frothing and blue, as if it were a giant Kool-Aid slushy.

"Not a bad way to go I guess," I muttered. Bebe peered over my shoulder.

"How are you standing here not freaking the fuck out?"

"Good sense of balance."

I turned and a figure stepped out of the darkness.

Han launched himself at me, his hands going for my throat.

Bebe hissed and slashed at him as I stepped back, the heel of my boot now hanging over the edge. The only thing keeping me on the cliff really was Han and his hand around my throat .

His fingers tightened, cutting off the blood to my brain. "Time to die."

"Stick," I whispered.

"Stick?" He cocked his head to the side, and he might have loosened the pressure on my trachea just a bit. Enough for me to breathe.

"Why stick?" Han was hesitating, for whatever reason. And I would take it.

Bebe gasped, understanding, and dug into the backpack. I reached up behind my back as far as I could, and she dropped the piece of Sven toward my hand. One shot, we had one shot.

The splinter dagger belonging to Sven hit my palm. I closed my fingers and jerked the weapon forward, driving it into Han's side.

He bellowed and jerked away from me, so we both stumbled from the cliff edge. I wish I could say I had a clean get away.

But his brother was not to be left out of this.

Han hit the back wall of the cliff, and I sprinted toward a path that wove down the edge of the cliff.

Havoc howled and my body reacted, but I fought it back. I had to. I kept a hand on the wall and ran as fast as I could, even though I could feel him drawing close behind me, practically nipping at my heels.

"Bebe, how close?"

"Ten feet," she said. Same as I could feel Havoc, I could sense Bebe prepping to launch herself at him .

"Stay with me, Bebe," I yelled.

She stilled. "Ok."

I made it to the bottom of the cliff path and the ground was flat, hard rock. I raced on a path that seemed to keep pulling me forward.

The ground gave out below me. I leapt forward and caught myself on the edge of a chasm that hadn't been there a moment before.

Havoc dove across, his body a blur of dark fur. When he landed, he shifted to two legs. He snapped his fingers and clothing flowed over him. Leather armor, thick metal belt, his axe hanging from said belt.

He didn't say anything as I clung there. He just stared down at me.

Bebe jumped straight up and forward, and she shifted to two legs. Her right hook caught him off guard and it sent him to the ground.

Bebe spun and reached for me, helping me haul myself up. But we were too slow.

Havoc grabbed her by the back of her head and threw her away from me.

"Havoc. Don't." I scrambled backward until I was against a wall. I couldn't get away.

"You have to die." He shook his head, and his throat bobbed. Sweat dripped down his face. He was fighting the spell.

Bebe cried out. "No! Not Cin!"

His hand went to the axe, and he pulled it from the loop. Everything slowed down. I stared up into his eyes and…he wasn't there. Not the Havoc I…loved.

I blew out a breath. "I love you, Havoc. I'm sorry I couldn't save us all."

His movement stilled. Or maybe I just thought it stilled.

A body slammed into him, so one minute he was standing there, and the next he was just gone.

"Run, Cin!" Han yelled.

Han was saving me? The world had to have turned upside down.

I got to my feet and Bebe ran to me, back in her cat form. She leapt up to my arms and maybe we would have made a run for it.

But I couldn't move.

My feet were sucked down into the ground, like quicksand that went to my knees.

"Bebe, get out of here!" I tried to let her go, but my arms were locked around her.

"I can't move!" She yelped and maybe she struggled but I couldn't feel her moving.

"Fuck," Han snarled. "I can't move either."

"Fuck you," Havoc snarled right back at his brother, apparently also stuck.

Like flies on a glue strip.

The soft feminine laugh that followed was not from either of the brothers. I was able to turn my head, so I saw her walking toward us .

A long black dress trailed around her, as if she were going to a goth wedding—the bodice was sheer and showed off an open ribcage held together with her corset. Her face was split between beauty and death. Her long dark hair on one side of her head was done in a hundred braids. The side of her head that was death had long straggling white hair that was matted and thin.

The chill in the air as she approached dropped to an arctic level. "Hello, nephews. Whatever are you two boys doing here?"

"Hunting," Havoc growled. "And you interrupted."

"Well now, this is my land. Did you ask permission and fill out the proper application forms?"

My eyes widened. Was Hel going to help me?

Their lack of answer was answer enough. She laughed again and turned to me. One eye socket was empty in the rotting side of her face. The other eye was a stunning aquamarine that was framed with long dark lashes. Her smile twisted her face. "And you are the prey, I assume?"

"I was coming to speak with you, actually," I said. "I'm trying to?—"

"Save the world, blah, blah, blah. Loki has been trying to convince all his children to help. You know that, right? But we know he's up to no good. Most likely he's put you on the path that will destroy us all. That's always been my father's endgame." She shrugged her intact shoulder, the delicate bone structure so at odds with the grotesqueness of the other side of her.

"The Norns sent me to you," I said.

Hel paused and turned back to me. "Which one?"

"Not clitoris," Bebe mumbled.

Hel's good eyebrow shot up and she laughed softly. "I don't much like her. Tell me then, Proferia or Helestia, which one sent you to me?"

"Both."

Her reaction was unexpected. Her eyes widened. "Interesting." She snapped her fingers, and the world blacked out.

When I came to, I was in what could only be called a cell. A dungeon. The bars all around me gave me about a ten foot by ten-foot space.

Hel stood outside my cell. "You four will stay here until I know what is going on. I will go and speak with the Norns to see if you are telling the truth."

"Wait, there isn't a lot of time!" I reached through the bars. "The tree of life is dying!"

"I am aware," she snapped, giving me the ugly side of her face. "You killed the bitch who tied her life to Suvenia. We thought it was on purpose. But since Suvenia is still alive, it wasn't a complete bond."

"That's good…isn't it?" I tried.

Hel ignored me and spun, her skirts swirling out around her as she strode from the dungeon. The clang of more metal shutting behind her had me sliding down the inside of my cell. "Bebe?"

"I'm here." Her voice came from my right. She was in a much smaller cage, the bars too tight for her to squeak through.

"For what it's worth, I am here too," Han grumbled. "And you're welcome for saving your ass."

I turned to see him on my left, with Havoc in a single cage. Han sat slumped, his hand over the wound I'd given him.

"Thank you, for this." He motioned with one hand at the wound.

I raised my eyebrows. "You're welcome?"

His smile was brief and seemed to tangle up with a grimace. "It broke the spell. I don't know how, but it did."

Havoc grunted. "And then he tried stabbing me with it."

"Did it work?

I took a step toward their side of our joined cages and Havoc's hand shot through toward me, his fingers just able to snatch at my chin. "I'll take that as a no." I stepped back, what little hope I had that something would go right, sliding away from me.

I went to the far side where I was closest to Bebe. I laid down and reached across for her. She reached through her bars and her paw just touched the tip of my finger .

"Ice cream would be really good right now," she said.

I smiled and laid my head on the cold floor. "Yeah. Ice cream would be amazing."

The drip of water had my attention, and I let the steady dripping hypnotize me.

"Are you giving up?" Han asked.

"No. Maybe? I don't know how to move forward." I sat up and leaned against the bars so I could look across at him and Havoc.

Han was sitting, like me, against the far side of his cage. Havoc stood in the corner, watching me. Unmoving.

I'd been lying here, thinking about what everyone had kept saying about me. That I was a daughter of destiny. That my abilities—whatever they were—would have come on when I started carrying the sun. But I'd not felt any magic, not felt any different than I'd ever felt before.

What did it mean to control your own destiny?

Fen's words came back to me. Something about the meeting I needed to know. I wracked my brain. Odin had done most of the talking…what the hell had he said?

She is changing everyone's destiny!

Was that it? Was that…what I could do? I frowned. I'd survived when everyone thought I would die.

Because…because I chose not to .

I was bonded to Havoc because...because I chose him.

Was it that simple?

"Do you think we were ever actually mates?" Han's question was unexpected.

I looked over at him. "Do you?"

He shrugged. "I've never had a mate, or a mate bond before. I've never experienced anything like it. The desire to protect, to keep you safe…it consumed me. It's why…"

"Why you let me almost die on multiple occasions?" I frowned at him.

He shrugged. "I knew what you were the moment I saw you in the shelter. But I didn't want it, you are right about that. Still, I took you with me when I knew what you were."

Bebe snorted. "As if that makes you a hero?"

"She didn't die in there, did she?"

I stared across at Han.

If I was right about my ability, then maybe I'd made him take me. I'd all but begged him in my mind to take me.

But I didn't share those thoughts out loud. "Maybe we were never really meant to be mates. Maybe that's why you could turn it off so easily."

He huffed a dry laugh. "I couldn't turn it off any more than you could. That's just it. I blocked it, the same way you did. But all those efforts came tumbling down when we came through the gateway to the Norns. To be fair, they'd started to come down once Sven removed the spell."

Havoc let out a low growl. "She was never meant to be yours."

"Loki thought so." Han grinned up at his brother. But the smile slid and he closed his eyes. "You know, I think I might actually be dying? It's a very strange sensation."

I didn't dare get any closer to their side of the cages, but my thoughts were tumbling out of my mouth which brought us closer in a different way. "Destiny brought us together, Han, and you did save me. But maybe we were just meant to be pack, and not mates."

His eyes were shuttered with pain. "Pack." He said the word like it was foreign to him.

"Something you've never had, or maybe not for a long time. I'm just guessing."

Why, why did it matter now? It had to do with the choice, I was sure of it.

But something in me said that I was closer to the truth than I'd ever been. Han was a dick…he'd tried to kill me. But so had Richard and Ship.

Havoc stepped between us. "Do not try to convince him to save you again. Your life is over when Hel returns."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the bars, thinking. The drip of water was steadier yet, the puddle splashing the only sound outside of Han's ragged breathing and the occasional snarl from Havoc.

I wasn't done. I wasn't giving up. I would find a way out of here. That was my choice.

A blow of air and water turned me around. A single eye peered up at me from the puddle. Jor blinked once, then rolled so the corner of his mouth escaped the puddle. "It's too small."

I grabbed the bars. "Jor!"

"Heard you were talking to my brother. Now he wants in on the coffee dates!" Jor blew the words out with a blast of water.

"Stop wrecking the puddle!" Bebe motioned at Jor, then looked over at me. "You think you can make more water? The pipe runs over your head."

I was up and climbing my cage before she even finished speaking. "Hang on, I'll get it."

Havoc let out a rumbling growl that made my whole body clench but said nothing to me.

He and Han spoke in low tones.

"What will you do?" Han asked. "You care for her, as apparently, I do too. Or I just feel obligated perhaps."

"I will finish what was started all those years ago. Ragnar?k will be stopped if she dies now, and all will not be lost." Havoc spoke the words, but there was no conviction in them. No belief.

"Wrong!" Jor blew the word out. "That's no longer true! Her life changed the rules! Which is why this is such a shit show!"

I hung from the top of my cage and reached through. The water pipe was a bit big to get my whole hand around it. I needed to reach through with both hands.

Awkward much. I scrabbled at the pipe with one hand, then jerked myself upward and shot my second hand through the bars to the pipe.

The move slammed my face against the bars, but I managed to get my hands around the pipe. Linking fingers, and holding the pipe as tightly as I could, I lifted my feet so they were set against the bars.

"Here we go." I pushed off the bars, bending the pipe.

I caught my breath, readjusted myself and pushed again, straining with everything I had. The pipe creaked and the straps holding it up loosened.

"Keep going! You got this, you're a bad bitch!" Bebe yelled. "We aren't done yet!"

I tipped my head back and pushed, baring my teeth. She was right. We weren't done yet.

I was a bad bitch. The strain on my muscles increased, my hands bit into the metal, and a scream bubbled up as I fought with the steel. The scream burst from my lips, and it turned into a howl that ripped from me. The sound seemed to shake the entire room, as if the cage was made of a giant tuning fork .

The pipe let go, and I fell, catching myself on the top of my cage as the water poured in around me, soaking me.

Jor burst up out of the now massive puddle outside my cell door. "Coffee dates forever!"

I dropped to the floor. "Can you get me the key?"

Jor grinned, flashing his teeth. "What about the boys?"

What about them indeed? Well. There was only one option I could see.

"We take them with us. But we have to tie Havoc up."

Jor laughed. "Kinky, I like it!"

The key turned out to be Jor's mouth. He bit down on the steel and ripped one of the bars clean out of the cage. Bebe's cage was not made of steel, and I was able to pull the wooden slats free on my own.

Then we turned to Havoc and Han.

"I will kill you if you open this cage," Havoc said. Warning or promise?

I chose to believe that it was a warning.

"Right. I need you not to do that or you'll never get to touch me again." I turned away as I searched the dungeon. Surely there was a set of cuffs, or something for binding a person. What self-respecting dungeon master didn't have manacles?

"Here!" Bebe called from a corner. "There's something here that might help. "

What she'd found was not manacles.

Two axes, one double headed, one single headed, rested against the wall. "What do you want me to do with those?"

"You could threaten him with it," Bebe said.

"Yeah, but he'd just take it from you." Jor looked over my shoulder. "I mean, no offense, but he's pretty strong."

Han groaned. "You are an alpha, are you not?"

"Yes."

"Then command him to obey you."

I looked at Han. "Do you believe that would work?"

He shrugged and grinned. "Maybe? You're an alpha, and essentially a Norse demi-god. Give it a try."

I did as Han suggested, but I could tell it wasn't working. I didn't need to have a connection with Havoc to see he was faking it as he tried to smile at me.

The smile kept turning into a snarl.

"You're a terrible actor."

He grunted and shook his head.

Jor's coiled body let out a deep shudder that rippled his length. "Let me talk to my sister, she might be able to help."

He left, diving back into the water that still puddled on the floor. I wasn't sure Hel was the answer, despite what Proferia and Helestia had said.

"I don't even know what I'm supposed to do here." I looked at Bebe. "Come on, let's see what we can find. "

"You're just going to leave me here?" Han groaned.

"For now, yes." I turned my back and Havoc growled, the sound going right through me. I clutched at the doorway and forced my legs to keep going. If he howled I was going to use one of those axes and…and what? Not kill him.

Because I could still feel his breath across my skin as he'd told me to get away. To kill him if I was given the chance. If our roles were reversed, I didn't think he'd be able to kill me any more than I could kill him.

Not now, not with the memories we'd shared. Not with the choice I'd made. He was it for me, end of story, I just had to figure out how we were going to make it work.

Bebe and I jogged up a set of stairs that led out into a large open space that was tiled in black marble. Or maybe it was just carved into black marble? The air was cool still, and the blue frothing lava poured along through a channel that bisected the black marble room.

A throne sat at one end.

The other was an open doorway, a light glimmering and beckoning on the other side. I started toward that—it seemed a better beacon than the big black throne of death.

I sighed. "What a fucking mess."

The voice that answered me was not Bebe's.

"You have no idea."