15. IS THIS FOR REAL?

15

IS THIS FOR REAL?

" W hy the fuck would I complain to you?" I asked as Han set me down by the fire. The warmth soaked into me, and I groaned…nope, that was my leg jostled as he lowered me.

Han grimaced. "Fuck. I'm sorr?—"

"Don't you dare," I snapped.

"I'm sorry," Han said. Damn it, he dared.

I poked him in the chest. "I don't feel anything for you, do you understand? I buried that mate bond so fucking deep that I can't feel anything for you. You left me to my brothers. You killed Soliel. You fucked my mother! And if Havoc can cut me off, why can't you?"

Han looked from me to Havoc. "Because what you had wasn't a mate bond. You chose each other. There was no fate, or magic involved, there was no meant to be…if anything the two of you should have been fucking repelled by one another seeing as you are my mate."

Bebe situated herself on the far side of the fire and had already curled up and by all accounts had gone to sleep, which left me alone with this revelation.

The worst part was that I wasn't fully in disagreement. I'd chosen Havoc. And apparently, he'd chosen me if his memories were true. I'd just assumed that because it felt…more real than what I had with Han, that it was a second mate bond.

That it was meant to be in its own way.

"We didn't have a choice," Havoc said as he pulled stacks of Tupperware out of the backpack. Magic bags were something I'd heard of, but damn to see one in action was nice and absolutely I was avoiding thinking too deep about the actual conversation happening in front of me.

There had been no choice for him, for Havoc. He'd had to fuck me, or the world would have ended. I didn't have a choice. Not that first time. Sure, we'd consented, but it wasn't because we'd actually wanted to fuck.

But if we were being honest, even then I'd wanted him. And he'd very much wanted me. His memory of that night was crystal fucking clear.

I couldn't help it. "Well, that's a pile of shit."

Both men froze and looked at me. The weight of their stares didn't bother me. I looked at Han first, then to Havoc. "You can act like you didn't want me, if that helps you sleep at night. But the truth is a bit different from that, and you and I both know it. Besides, you were trying to bind me to you, to make the mate bond swap."

Han burst out laughing. "Is that what he told you? That old wives' tale…you believed it? I thought you were smarter than that, Princess. He just wanted a piece of ass, and he got it. Didn't he?"

He wanted to play rough? I smiled at him sweetly. "If you'd been fucked the way he fucked me the first time, you'd take any reason to go back for seconds and thirds."

Han's smile fell from his face and his eyes got dangerously dark. "Don't test me. Not now. You are mine."

Both my wolf and my golden snorted. I agreed. Havoc was ours.

"Test." I smiled and then winced as my leg twitched. "Test. Test. Test. You don't seem to get it, Han. There is nothing for us. Mate bond rejected, thank you very much. Maybe Loki could take it off, seeing as he's the one who put it on."

"Then why did you save me?" he asked. "At the troll camp, why not leave me behind?"

"I figured you knew the way to the doorway."

He huffed. "Please. You could have found it. They would have been busy eating my screaming face, and you wouldn't have had to run."

I glared at him. "Maybe I'm just nicer than you!"

Havoc snapped his fingers between us. "Much as this is super fucking amusing, I'm tired. We need to eat and sleep if we're going to heal." He threw me a Tupperware container and then threw one to Han as well. "Here. Eat and stop bitching at each other. You're like an old married couple."

I huffed and cracked the lid. The smell of roast duck, sweet potatoes and thick cream sauce rolled up to me, flooding my senses. My mouth instantly filled with saliva. "Bebe, come eat."

She didn't answer. The brothers were digging into their food.

I scooped a bite with my fingers and sucked the juices off. I couldn't help the moan as I tipped my head back, I hadn't had food this good in…well ever. I licked my fingers, then took another scoop. "Bebe…you've got to try this."

With a single-minded goal, I demolished what was in the container, stopping only to breathe and whisper my thanks to whoever had cooked up the feast. Magic Tupperware for the fucking win.

I saved a chunk of duck for Bebe. "Seriously, come eat."

"Fine," she hissed, "but I'm not happy. They are making me out to be a bad guy, and I'm not a bad anything!"

My friend stalked over to me, her hair all standing on end like she was facing down an enemy. I glanced at Havoc who was staring at me, his container unfinished. "What?"

He swallowed and shook his head. I looked to Han. He had a similar expression on his face, almost…pain? "Are you two okay?"

"They were watching you eat, licking your fingers." Bebe took the chunk of duck from me. "It was pretty hot. All the little breathy moans, like you were in a porno except you were the only one who didn't know."

Havoc grunted and dug back into his food. "Just eat."

I grinned, and then laughed. "Seriously, you two are way too overstimulated by things that are just every day. I like good food. I make happy noises when I eat."

Neither of them answered me, which was fine, I was exhausted. I closed the lid on the food and the container…got heavy. I cracked the lid and peeked in. There was another round of duck and sweet potatoes and cream sauce, and I could have cried.

"Thanks to whoever made this, you are a goddess," I whispered.

An answering warmth wrapped around me.

Bebe let out a little burp and sighed. "That was amazing. I'm going to curl up by the fire. "

Han stood and tossed the container at Havoc. "I'm going for a walk."

Which left Havoc and I alone for the first time in…what felt like forever.

He glanced over at me. "I don't want to hurt you, Goldie."

"I know." I wrapped my arms around my bent knees. "I don't want to die."

One minute I was sitting on the rocks, the next he was lifting me carefully into his lap. I don't know how he did it without bumping my leg, but he managed. He buried his face against my neck and collarbone.

"I should have listened to you, about your mother." His lips moved against my skin, but it wasn't lusty. I slipped my arms around his neck and held on to him, understanding the need to just be with him.

To touch him. My wolf and goldie fucking sighed and pressed me even closer to him.

"She's made a mess of this," I said. I quickly filled him in on how she'd bound herself to the tree of life. That I suspected that was why it was dying now—because I'd killed my mother. "Basically, this is all my fault."

"There was no way you could have known." His arm was wrapped around me, and he gently squeezed my hip with his hand. "None of us did. It was like a prophecy behind the prophecies that we all knew."

He lifted his head, his dark eyes taking me in. He carefully raised his hand and touched my face. "I dreamed of you. Of us."

Damn it if I didn't smile. "I did too. But I saw things from your eyes."

The curl of his lips told me that perhaps he'd gotten the same. "Did you like what you saw?"

I tried not to squirm. My bare ass was right on top of his cock, and he was rapidly getting hard. But this was more than lust. And maybe it always had been, from the first moment we met. When he'd saved me from my brothers.

"Yes, I liked it. Because I saw a wolf falling in love with his chosen mate."

His chest rose and fell rapidly, a low rumble rolling through him and into me. "Is that so?"

"I suspect you saw the same thing." I lowered my voice. If I was going to die, then I wanted to say the things that were the hardest. "I…was so afraid, Havoc. To let my heart get tangled again with someone who couldn't be with me. So afraid that I wouldn't be enough…for you."

His jaw ticked and he cupped the back of my head, bringing my face to his. "I was afraid I wouldn't be able to protect you. That if you died, it was best that I didn't tangle my heart up with yours."

I let my fingers trace the side of his neck. "Were we both wrong?"

His eyes closed and he pressed his lips to my collarbone. " Yes, we were both stupid to think we could fight this. I want you at my side, Goldie. For however long that is."

I closed my eyes, and a shudder went through me. Tension I hadn't known was there released and I let myself sink into his arms, into him. "I'll take that deal. No matter what we face."

Another low rumble rippled from him, and it touched off a riot of sensation in my core. His hand slipped between us, seeking my wet warmth. He groaned as he dipped two fingers into me, then slid them up over my clit.

I couldn't move, not with my leg and being forced to stay still was a delicious torture as he slowly circled my sensitive nub. Lazy, as if he had all the time in the world, giving harder and lighter pressure, catching it between two fingers and tugging gently, squeezing it while I gasped and tried to make zero noise.

I wasn't sure I could hold on much longer. I knew what came next—Havoc would slide his cock deep into me and I'd fucking explode. But we had a situation.

"Havoc?"

"Hmm." He was kissing his way around my neck, under my jaw, tasting me as if he hadn't already eaten and was hungry for something more, while he played with my clit.

I tried to get my head thinking straight .

"He'd feel it if we fucked, wouldn't he?" I didn't want to think about Han right then.

Havoc groaned and pulled me tighter to him, his hand slipping away from me. "Fuck. Yes."

"Not that I want you to stop, but…"

But.

Gods damn Han was a but now. Butting in on my reunion with Havoc.

"But he won't know if you come." It was my turn to slide my hand between us. To dip below the waistband of his loose pants and wrap my fingers around his cock. He grunted and closed his eyes.

"Eyes on me," I whispered.

His dark eyes flew open. "Evil."

"Tell me to stop then."

His grin tugged up on one side of his face. "Never. Fuck me."

I slid my hand up and down, relishing in the fact that I could do to him, what he could do to me.

I chose him.

And just like that, whatever connection had been destroyed was back. I gasped seeing and feeling the moment from both sides. Feeling my hand on his cock, and seeing me through his eyes as the pleasure spiked and he came all over my hand. My body clenched and an unexpected orgasm ripped through me, matching his, as if me touching his cock had somehow transferred to my own body .

A low groan slid through him, and I sat there shaking, my broken leg pissed as hell that I'd moved at all.

A bellow ripped out of the forest. "What the fuck, man?"

So much for not having Han know we'd been fooling around while he was gone.

I wanted to ask Havoc what the hell had just happened. Why had we seen each other like that. But a soft fatigue settled over me and I sighed.

Havoc struggled to stay upright. "Something's wrong."

I swallowed hard as he slumped, pulling me down with him. I couldn't keep my eyes open either.

"Food," I whispered in realization as I laid my head on his chest. It had to be the food. "Laced." But why?

The question was, would it kill us, or just put us to sleep? My eyes drifted closed and I wasn't sure I cared.

I held Havoc a little tighter and he kept his arm tight around me too, as if he could indeed keep me by his side with sheer will.

I forced my eyes open, one last time. A figure walked up the river toward us. Cloaked in shadows, whoever it was moved with an easy grace born of being a fighter and I made myself stare them down. I let a growl escape before I couldn't hold my head up any longer.

"Such a fighter." A male's voice echoed around us. "But you can sleep, I will watch over you. You and my sons."