Breakaway

Holden

In the dim glow of the Foster brothers' basement, Holden wrestles with shadows of doubt, just like Declyn did before him. His heart hangs heavy with revelations that challenge everything he thought was certain. As he stumbles down into this makeshift confessional, skepticism meets him like the cold concrete underfoot. The room, thick with the scent of old victories and losses, echoes with the weight of realization. Perhaps true love isn't that simple. As Holden's personal crisis unfolds, the fallout casts long shadows that stretch out to touch every corner of my hallowed streets.

Playlist: "Someone" by Ewan Mainwood

Bennett looks up from his phone when I stumble down the basement steps of the Foster brothers' residence. "What the hell are you doing here?" he asks.

Just the sound of his voice stiffens my spine. "I just realized that everything I believed is bullshit."

He looks me up and down, taking in my disheveled appearance. "Huh. Don't tell me that we lost the game today because you realized that Santa Claus isn't real."

My eyes narrow into angry slits. "Fuck you."

Bennett grumbles and tosses his phone aside. "Oh my God, fine. Come on in, Holden, make yourself comfortable. Spill all your problems onto me. I totally care and can't wait to hear the details of your existential crisis. I will be so fucking empathetic you won't even recognize me."

I kick off my shoes. "Where are your brothers?"

"At Power Play, drowning their sorrows, because someone cost us the game. I figured I'd better bow out. Mom's still mad at me about the whole dress code thing. She's using a lethal combination of Minnesota non-nice and passive-aggressive rancor followed by a silent treatment chaser. Fun times."

I drop down on the other end of the L-shaped sofa. "I am having a crisis, Bennett."

"So I gathered, and yet the details have not been forthcoming." He crosses his arms over his stomach and closes his eyes. "Regale me with your woes. I'm all ears."

"Everything is a lie, Bennett. Especially love. True love. The One. I thought Britt was it, but I don't think it should be this hard if it's true love."

Bennett doesn't open his eyes. "Maybe you made it hard."

I glare at him. "What are you talking about? All I ever did was try to keep her here, to make sure she had a chance to see what I see. That she doesn't need all that stuff to fill the gaping hole her cold, materialistic family left inside her. The simple things in life are what matter."

Bennett cracks one eye open. "Listen to yourself. You tried to take away her options. And you enlisted everyone to help you. Because deep down, you thought what you wanted was morally superior. And then you wondered why it all fell apart. This, my friend, was always about control. You tried to lock her down. And I'm left wondering why you would ever want to put the most beautiful bird in a gilded cage. Aren't the very things you were trying to control what you loved about her in the first place?"

"What? No. That's not what I did." Is it?

"Bullshit. You put her on a pedestal and forgot she's a person. So maybe love is about being your best self, showing that to the other person, and seeing if you fit. Maybe it's more of a natural coming together. And it was… before you started messing with it."

I lean forward. "How so?"

Bennett holds up one hand and counts items off on his fingers. "She showed up here. She went home with you. She went out with you. She spent time with you. And then you started forcing things because the thought of losing her made you lose your shit."

"No way. That never happened. She's been pushing things, too, you know. She's the one that set the wedding date soon. And I didn't even tell you the worst part." I offer a brief recap of what Montgomery told me about her trust fund.

"Huh." Bennett scratches his jaw. "I mean, boo hoo about Daddy's trust fund, but that's still unfair. Think about it. I highly doubt a smart, successful lawyer would finagle everyone's lives just to get a chunk of money she probably doesn't even need."

"Did you miss the point of what I just told you?" I slap my palms down onto my thighs. My righteous fury has been reignited. "She was marrying me for money."

A real friend would get mad. When I told Shep the bare-bones order of events earlier, he was furious on my behalf.

Bennett is not my friend. He starts laughing. And keeps laughing. Every time he tries to get himself under control, he looks at my red face and cracks up all over again.

"Holden." He wipes his streaming eyes. "You're so fucking stupid. I can't believe you're keeping a straight face."

My mind races as I try to refrain from throat-punching him. "What's so funny?"

"You, dipshit!" He hiccups a few times. "You think she was marrying you just for money? If she wanted the money, she'd have married that douche, Fitz or whatever. He would've been easier. He fit with her family. Her dad loves the guy. Hell, going out onto Hennepin Avenue and pointing at some random asshole would have been far easier than shacking up with you."

My brain swells as my thoughts fire through it like bullets. "But—"

"She didn't even recommend getting married when you knocked her the fuck up! It wasn't her idea, you noob. You asked her! And if you two end up together with no money worries, is that so bad? If she fills the whole house with Pottery Barn and Ikea… would that be terrible? She has great taste. She knows how to make a home. She's going to be an amazing wife and mother. A woman to be proud of. One who's going to make your life better. And she still lets you live there. Dude. You're an idiot."

"But—"

"You walked out on your fiancée and your baby because you convinced yourself that she was using you. You. For money. True, or false?"

I clench my hands into fists. "True."

"You think if she was some Machiavellian mastermind, she'd be carrying your kid? If her evil plan is to marry you, take the money, and run, do you think she considers being a single mom a bonus? Because that shit is hard." Bennett looks toward the door at the top of the basement steps. "Isn't that right, Mom?"

I swivel to look over my shoulder. Sure enough, Beth is standing at the top of the stairs with a paper bag in one hand, still wearing her winter gear.

"You know damn well it's true." Beth stomps down the steps. "Despite being worth it, it's the hardest gig known to humanity."

I didn't hear her come in, although I suppose I've already proven that I'm not great at listening today. "Hey. How, uh, how much of that did you hear?"

"Enough to know that I agree with the only son I'm not claiming right now." Beth sets the bag on the coffee table in front of me and starts unwinding her scarf. "She never wanted you for the money, Holden. She loves you, for some damn reason. I've seen you two together. You don't have money, but you gave her everything she needs. You provided love and support like she has never had before. And you are her perfect match. And you wanna know how I know? Because I heard her tell off her father when she thought no one was listening. She loves you for you, dumbass."

My jaw drops.

"Yeah, you heard me." Beth settles into one of the empty chairs and puts her feet up. "You stubborn kids made me believe in love again. Don't fuck it up now or I'll never feed you chili again."

I fiddle with my sleeves. "It might be too late for that." Bennett's words have started to sink in, and it's making me rethink what Britt said earlier, about how marrying me would be inconvenient. It hurt like hell, but now I'm realizing what she meant.

If she'd wanted things to be simple, she wouldn't have ended up with me. Which means I've made a terrible mistake.

Beth's bitter laugh shakes me out of my reverie. "Holden, stop moping. I've spent months trying to run that girl out of town. She's not going to give up on you just because you've made one big cock-up. Although, if she did, it would be a pretty good sign that you weren't meant to be."

"You tried to run her out of town?" I ask.

Bennett slaps his forehead. "How do you miss these things? Mom cares about you. She was just looking out for your best interests. Hell, we all were. But Britt stood proud and firm. And now she's helping all of us negotiate better deals with Franklin when she could have told us all to go fuck ourselves."

"He's besotted," Beth explains. To me, she says, "Now, open that bag. I brought you boys some chili and cornbread. I know you've been deprived. And while we eat, we can try to figure out how Holden's going to get his soulmate back."