22. Julie

I thought I was going to have a heart attack. In all the scenarios we’d imagined, we hadn’t thought that Marco would recognize Louise. It was a decade ago and I suppose we’d presumed he’d been as blind drunk as her. We didn’t think for a moment that he’d suddenly cop on to who she was. The man must have a memory like an elephant – or maybe Louise was the night of his life.

I slipped my hand into Sophie’s and the two of us held our breath, while Dad eyeballed Marco, and Marco’s friends stood there looking the picture of confusion. Louise was perfectly still. Marco spoke in rapid-fire Italian to Lorenzo and Tommaso, clearly filling them in on his one-night stand and her sudden appearance ten years later. They looked as shocked as the rest of us.

‘Okay, that’s enough Italian. In English, please.’ Dad had found his voice and was trying to take charge of the crazy situation.

‘ Perché è qui ?’ Tommaso asked.

Marco shrugged and then asked Louise, ‘You come ’ere to find me?’

‘Yes, I did.’ Louise was calm now. Icy calm.

You could see Marco trying to work it all out. ‘So long ago. Why?’ he asked, suspiciously.

‘Are you a good person?’ Louise, queen of no small-talk, asked.

‘Am I good person?’ Marco was completely thrown.

I felt thrown too – I mean, how would anyone answer that question? Of course you’re going to say you’re good. No one is going to say they’re awful. But Marco saying he was good meant nothing. It didn’t mean he was. I looked at Sophie and she gave a little shrug as if to say, I don’t know what she’s at either, but we’d better keep our mouths shut. I felt Louise was just rushing it, trying to tick boxes as fast as possible to give herself a sense of control. All I could do was pray she didn’t end up regretting it.

‘You heard my daughter. Answer the question,’ Dad said gruffly, trying to establish his position as head of the family, when we all knew Louise was.

‘I thinking so.’ Marco directed his answer to Louise.

‘Is he?’ Louise asked his friends. ‘Is Marco a good man?’

They looked completely confused again.

‘We want the truth now,’ Dad told them. Obviously, Dad had decided to row in with Louise’s strange approach. My sister and father were clearly at sea, just jumping in with random questions. Sophie gripped my hand. What was going on?

‘Yes, he is very good man.’

‘Best man,’ Tommaso added, nodding.

‘Is he kind?’ Louise asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Is he a solid man?’ Dad continued with the senseless questions.

‘What is solid?’ Lorenzo asked.

‘It means strong, reliable.’ Sophie was working hard as a live thesaurus.

‘Very solid,’ Tommaso said. ‘Marco look after his mother.’

‘That’s a good sign,’ Dad acknowledged.

‘Why are you asking all this? What do you wanting?’ Marco was beginning to look alarmed.

‘You want ’usband?’ Lorenzo asked.

‘You want to marry Marco?’ Tommaso exclaimed.

‘She most certainly does not. Louise doesn’t need any man. She’s by far the most independent of all my children,’ Dad informed them.

‘I’m pretty independent too,’ Sophie muttered. I smiled. Sophie had always been competitive – if any of us got any snippet of praise, she was on it, looking for her share. It annoyed her when Mum or Dad praised the rest of us, although I always felt it was because, deep down, she didn’t feel good enough.

‘I need to speak to you,’ Louise said to Marco.

‘You speaking to me now.’

‘It’s a delicate matter.’

‘What is delicate?’ Lorenzo asked.

‘It means … uhm … well … Julie, feel free to help me out,’ Sophie said.

‘In this case,’ I said, ‘delicate means sensitive.’

‘ Sensibile ?’ Tommaso looked at Marco.

Marco looked at Louise.

‘Yes. I think we should talk in private.’

Marco folded his arms and shook his head. ‘No private. You speak ’ere. I want friends to listen. I not know what you saying or doing.’ Marco was clearly suspicious of Louise’s intentions.

Dad slapped his hand on the table. ‘Hold on a minute, sonny. If my daughter asks you to speak to her in private, you will speak in private.’

‘Why is Dad behaving like some kind of gangster boss?’ Sophie whispered.

I stifled a laugh. ‘He’s watched too much Sopranos .’

Marco folded his arms. ‘My friends is my family. I staying ’ere.’

It looked like Danny DeVito was no pushover.

Dad stood up straighter. Mum called this look his ‘argument face’ – you knew he was about to let you have it with both barrels. ‘It’s okay, Dad.’ Louise stopped him responding. She pulled her briefcase onto her lap. Tommaso and Lorenzo looked alarmed.

Louise pulled out the DNA test results and a DNA kit.

‘This is a DNA test. Test del DNA.’

‘DNA?’ the three men said in unison.

Marco went white.

Louise went into lawyer mode. ‘If you remember me, you will remember that we had unprotected sex. The result of that is my daughter, Clara. She is nine years old. She will be ten later this year. You are her father.’

‘ Che cosa? ’ Lorenzo gasped.

‘ Una Figlia? ’ Tommaso spluttered.

Marco’s voice was calm. ‘You say you have DNA test. How you have mine DNA?’

‘A few weeks ago an English detective I hired to find you came here and took a glass that you had drunk from. But if you don’t believe it, and I understand that, I have brought a DNA kit with me. I have Clara’s hair and we can do another test.’

Sometimes my sister astonished me. Louise was now in crisis-control mode and she was incredible. She was all practicality and zero emotion.

‘All the proof is right here.’ Dad tapped the folder.

Marco’s voice wavered as he spoke to his friends. There was a lot of hand movement and raised voices. Finally, Marco nodded. They all turned to look at Louise.

Lorenzo asked, ‘Do you have photo?’

‘Of course.’ Louise pulled out a folder. She handed it to Marco. It had six A4-size photos of Clara.

The three men bent over to look at them. Marco’s hands shook.

‘ Dio mio .’

‘ Incredibile .’

While his friends exclaimed, Marco was quiet. He stared at a photo of Clara where she was smiling. We all watched as he recognized himself in her.

Finally, he looked up. There were tears in his eyes. ‘No DNA. She is my mother.’

‘ è identica a tua madre! ’ Lorenzo agreed.

‘ Il naso! ’ Tommaso pointed to her nose and shook his head in awe.

‘Yes, the nose is what proved it to me, more than any DNA test,’ Louise said.

‘The nose did it for all of us.’ Dad doubled down.

‘ Mia figlia .’ Marco’s voice was full of raw emotion.

Sophie wiped her eyes and I worked hard to swallow the lump in my throat. The whole situation was completely bonkers. We were in the middle of nowhere, telling a stranger that Clara was his daughter, yet it was also beautiful and moving and heart-warming.

‘Well, to be clear, she’s my daughter and you are her biological father.’ Louise cut through the emotion.

‘Louise is the boss here,’ Dad said.

‘Why are you coming now?’ Lorenzo asked.

‘It’s not my choice, believe me, but Clara wants to know who her father is. I have a very hazy memory of the night I met Marco, so I had to hire a private investigator to find him.’

I winced. She could have made it sound a little less clinical.

‘Is Clara ’ere?’ Marco asked.

‘Absolutely not. I had to see if you were suitable first. I had to see if you were someone I could introduce her to. Clara is the most important thing in my life. She is a very special girl. She’s unique and fragile and …’

There it was, the emotion buried inside my elder sister finally welled up. I loved that Clara had brought out such a tender side to Louise. Clara had knocked down her mother’s thick walls and melted her heart.

Louise let out a sob and Sophie and I instantly reached out to put a hand on her shoulder.

‘Clara is the most important person in our family. We’re all mad about her. My wife was crazy about her. She loved that child more than anything,’ Dad croaked, choking up too.

‘ Mia figlia ,’ Marco said again, shaking his head in disbelief.

Turning to him, I explained, ‘Clara is a very sensitive child. She has autism spectrum disorder. She is very intelligent, like her mother, and sweet and lovely and talented and gifted and we all adore her. She is lucky to have an incredible mother. Because of Louise, Clara is living her best life.’ I began to choke up then.

‘We all feel very protective of Clara.’ Sophie stepped in. ‘We would never let anyone into her life who is not going to enhance it.’

‘Enhance?’ Marco asked.

‘Make it better,’ Sophie explained.

‘She can talk?’ Lorenzo asked. ‘My cousin child is autism and he no talk.’

‘Oh, yes, Clara can talk better than any of us,’ Sophie said.

‘She’s full of facts and information,’ Dad added proudly.

With trembling hands, Louise opened her laptop and pressed play. Clara’s sweet face filled the screen. She was reading a poem she had written about living with ASD.

Marco and his two friends watched intently. Marco’s chin wobbled, his eyes filled with tears, and as Clara read the last line, ‘I know I’m different, but different can be good’, he completely crumpled and began to sob.

I bent down to grab my handbag, rooted out a pack of tissues and handed one to him.

‘ Mia preziosa figlia ,’ he cried.

I nodded, yes, she was precious.

By now, the whole bar knew something big was happening and they had all been peering over, but when Marco began to sob loudly, they gathered around us.

Marco pointed to the screen and cried out, ‘ Mia figlia! ’ a few more times.

Everyone oohed and aahed and stared at us and at Clara and shook their heads in amazement. Marco was patted on the back and there were a lot of loud Italian exclamations. This was not how I had pictured it going down.

Drinks appeared and toasts were made, and we just nodded along, smiling.

‘ Sono padre! ’ Marco sobbed over and over.

I watched Louise flinch every time he said it. After the fifth or sixth time, when the cheers were getting bigger, Louise stood up and shouted, ‘STOP.’

The place hushed. ‘Yes, Marco is a father. He is my daughter’s biological father, but I will decide if and when he meets her. We have a lot more to discuss and it will not be done in front of a crowd. Marco, I want you to come to the hotel tomorrow morning to talk properly. I’m exhausted. It’s been a very long day. Nothing has been decided. This is just an initial conversation. I need to sleep now. Goodnight.’

‘I come in morning. Grazie , Louisa.’ Marco was full of emotion.

‘Come alone,’ Dad said.

‘My name is Louise and don’t thank me yet.’ I could see Louise was worried now that the news had been broken. She had to deal with the logistics of it all. She looked completely spent. She packed up her laptop and her emotions, and indicated that we were all leaving. We waved goodbye to the men and followed her. Once outside, we threw our arms around her.

‘Louise, that was crazy and incredible,’ Sophie said.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked.

‘How are you feeling?’ Sophie said, trying to take her hand.

Louise shrugged us off. ‘Please, not now, I can’t. It’s been a lot. I need peace and quiet. I need to think. I can’t take any more questions or drama. I’m drained. I’ll talk to you in the morning.’

‘Give her space, girls. It’s been a very emotional evening.’ Dad put his arm around Louise’s shoulders. ‘I am so proud of you for the way you handled that. Your mother would be too. Sleep on it. We’ll talk to Marco tomorrow and figure out the next step. Come on, pet, I’ll walk you back to your room. I’m exhausted myself after all that.’

‘Did I do the right thing, Dad?’ Louise asked.

‘Yes, pet. It was all a bit haywire, but at the end of the day you have found Clara’s dad and he seems like a decent man. Now we all need to get some sleep. With clear heads, we’ll get a real sense of him tomorrow. You did well tonight. I’m very proud of you.’

‘Us too,’ I said.

‘So proud,’ Sophie agreed.

‘You need to rest, pet. You look exhausted.’ Dad and Louise disappeared inside the hotel.

‘Well, I for one need a drink.’ Sophie let out a long exhale.

‘Me too. Let’s go in and order a bottle of wine. I’m high on adrenaline after that.’ My heart was pounding with excitement and nerves.

‘That was the maddest and most amazing thing I have ever witnessed, and I’ve seen some mad things with Pippa.’ Sophie shook her head.

‘Do you think he’s a good man?’

‘Yes, I do. He seems very genuine, but … we need to see where he lives and if he is truly someone Louise can allow into Clara’s life.’

‘Agreed. You can tell a lot by someone’s home and Louise needs to have a calm and very direct conversation with him about boundaries and access to Clara and all of that.’

‘I know a lot about access to children and it is not, in any way, shape, manner or form, straightforward.’ Sophie sighed. ‘Louise needs to be very careful.’

‘It’s Louise,’ I reminded her. ‘She was emotional tonight, but tomorrow she’ll have Marco wrapped up in so many legal documents that he won’t know what hit him.’

‘I hope it works out. I think Clara could really benefit from having a second parent, as long as he’s not a nightmare like Pippa.’

I nodded. ‘Now, let’s get that wine.’

Sophie and I sat up all night in our bedroom talking, high on emotion, until the sun came up and we finally drifted off to sleep.