Chapter Thirty-One

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Rylan

I ’m not sure I’ve ever been so excited to get home from a road trip. It’s been torture being away from Hayes now that I realize what an idiot I am. Clearly, Mads is better at emotions than I am.

As soon as we get back, we have a quick team meeting before I go home. Hayes should be here soon, so I take a shower, then pace my living room because there is absolutely no way I can sit still.

We’ve texted back and forth the past few days but haven’t talked about anything important. I think both of us knew we needed to have this conversation in person.

My heart jumps the second I hear his familiar knock on the door, and I rush over, tugging it open to see his adorable, shy smile. I take in his smooth face and his hair that always looks so neat. His brown eyes that remind me of honey. The dramatic thing happens again because I legit feel wobbly on my feet just looking at him. “I’m in love with you,” I blurt out. “Shit. I wasn’t supposed to say that.”

Hayes frowns. “You’re not in love with me?”

“No. I am in love with you. I was just going to work my way up to that and figured I should do a little groveling first.”

“Saying you love me is a good start.”

I can’t stop my grin from growing. This man is it for me. There’s no question in my mind about that. “I’m in love with you,” I say again.

He looks down, and my breath catches. Is this where he tells me it’s over? That he doesn’t feel the same? But then why would he have told me my admission is a good place to start?

“Really?” Hayes finally asks.

“Yes. God yes. I’ve known for a while now. I’m sorry I gave you reason to doubt me.”

He looks up at me, eyes watery. “You did, but you also didn’t. Part of the issue was just me. Do you think I could come in?”

Oh yeah. Crap. I have no idea why I’m leaving him standing on the porch. I move out of the way, and Hayes comes in.

“I wasn’t thinking when I canceled on meeting your friends. I just got all up in my head about hockey and the playoffs. That’s probably a thing that I’ll do. It’s hockey.”

He chuckles like I hoped he would.

“I get it, I really do, but it felt pretty shitty. It took a lot for me to feel comfortable introducing you to them, and then you agreed only to cancel at the last minute. I—”

“I’m sorry,” I interrupt.

“Hold on. Let me finish. What I didn’t consider is how at times I likely made you feel the same…when you wanted me to meet your parents, or when you introduced me to Mads. I’m sorry if I hurt you. Neither of us is completely innocent or at fault. We’re just…human.”

“It’s our only downside.”

He grins. “So I’m sorry too. I’ll be better at trying not to let my insecurities get in the way. I understand why you would want to wait until after the season to go public. I honestly do too, so it wasn’t fair to get upset with you about that.”

“No…but it was fair to get upset at how I behaved and my worry about your friends. The truth is, we have a lot to navigate, and I shouldn’t have jumped the gun. If I expect you to trust Mads and my parents, I should be willing to trust your friends. And I want you there…to see me play. If you’re comfortable with it, I’d love to get you and the guys tickets to our first home playoff game. They can know who I am to you. While we don’t have to make a huge announcement to the world, I don’t want to hide either. You’re my guy. I’m proud of that.”

“Jesus. Are you even real? I don’t know what to say. How did I get so lucky?” he asks, and when I open my mouth to respond, he speaks first. “Scratch that. I deserve you. You’re still really awesome, but I deserve you. I’m tired of believing I’m not worthy of good things.”

My heart speeds up, and I’m pretty sure my chest swells. “That was hands down the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. Come here, baby. God, I missed you.”

We both move toward each other, meeting in the middle. My arms encircle him, Hayes burying his face in my pecs the way he does.

“I saw Malcolm,” he says, and though I try not to, I feel myself tense up.

“Are you okay?” I rub my hand up and down his back, wishing I could see Malcolm and teach him a lesson or two.

“Yeah, actually. It was pretty incredible. I stood up to him, and it gave me courage to listen to your voicemail and tell you how I felt today.”

“You didn’t feel comfortable listening to my voicemail?”

“It’s a me thing. I convinced myself you were breaking up with me, and now I realize I need to be okay with that.”

“Um…not sure I like where this is going.”

He chuckles. “I don’t want to lose you, I don’t ever want to lose you, but I can’t let my worth lie in my relationship status.”

Damn. He’s done a lot of self-exploration over the last few days, and I’m here for it. Here for every way Hayes can grow, ways that I can too. “Look at you saying all these sexy things. You don’t have to try so hard to get me into bed,” I tease. “I’m a sure thing, except…”

“Except?” He pulls back and looks at me.

“I just realized I professed my never-ending love for you, and you didn’t do the same. It’s okay if you’re not there yet, but—”

“I love you too. Holy shit. I can’t believe I forgot about that. I’m so fucking in love with you, Rylan.”

My heart soars, and I don’t have it in me not to cut him off with my mouth. Hayes doesn’t seem to mind as he kisses me hard and deep, pressing his tongue into my mouth, arms tight around me, nails digging into my back.

Blood rushes toward my groin, making my dick pulse and throb as it lengthens. It hasn’t been that long since I’ve had him, but… “Need you,” I admit.

“Need you too.” His gaze meets mine, strong and steady, but I see the nerves there too. “Can I top you?”

“Fuck yes,” I reply, knowing how big of a deal that is for him. Hayes has been insecure to try, but in this moment, he feels comfortable enough with me, wants to give that part of himself to me, and it makes me feel like I’m holding the Stanley Cup right now.

I lift him, Hayes laughing as I do, then go straight for the stairs.

“Someone’s in a hurry.”

“My sexy boyfriend who is totally in love with me is about to give up that good dick. Of course I’m excited.”

This time, we both laugh.