Chapter 8

A GATHA RACED OUT OF the house, grabbing her cloak on the way out of the door. Dashing down the steps she still didn't know what her plan was. Sneak into his carriage somehow without him knowing? Convince him to take her with him? Or just go take a peek at the ship before making up her mind? There were so many options and she wasn't sure which one made the most sense for her.

Which offered the least risk with the highest payout? Certainly, the worst thing that could happen would be for her to be caught and sent back home before any plans could be put into action. That was the worst that could happen.

Well…actually she didn't allow her mind to consider worst case scenarios if she did make it onto the ship. She just wasn't sure that she was willing to let that kind of negativity (as realistic as it might be) dissuade her from attempting the greatest adventure of her life.

Once she saw Jude in front of his carriage, she made up her mind in the split second he was giving instructions to the driver. She ducked around the line of carriages so that he couldn't see her. Then she planned to slip up into the carriage on the side opposite to him, praying that it had one of those benches she could hide underneath .

With undue optimism, she wrenched open the door and breathed a sigh of relief that fate had assigned her the perfect carriage. She drew up her skirts into billowing bundles and squished herself underneath the bench. It was a tight fit, but it was dark and the man was drunk. To ensure her hiddenness, she sent up another prayer.

The door cracked open and the grumble that followed alerted Agatha to Jude's presence. That and her damn nipples perking up. A shiver rattled through her as she squashed down the memory of the kiss (and more). But her memory squashing abilities were about as good as her skirt bundling abilities. A few scraps were surely sticking out. She squeezed her own eyes shut. As if by closing them she prompted him to close his own, for if his eyes were shut he couldn't see her.

And before she could give any more thought to skirts, kisses, or her beyond scandalous intentions, the carriage lurched forward.

This was it. She was taking her destiny into her own hands. She was going to grab a hold of more real life experiences if it killed her.

Well…obviously if it killed her that kind of negated the objective of her adventure…but…well, see, that was one of these silly negative thoughts that she didn't give any credence to.

"You can come out now," a gruff voice muttered, exhaling a rough sigh.

Damn it. He couldn't be talking about her, could he?

"Yes, I'm talking to you, Aggie."

Drat.

She shuffled out from under the bench.

"How did you know?"

"You're not that subtle, Siren."

"But—"

"Dashing out of the house— "

"You saw that?"

"Sneaking behind the carriages—"

"You saw that, too?"

"Yanking the carriage door open—"

"Ugh." Her hands flew over her face. How mortifying.

"The question is, what the devil are you doing?"

"I already told you. I need some real life experience." She was now sitting awkwardly next to him on the squabs, doing her best to hold onto her dignity. But her hands blanketed her face anyway. That's when she realized at some point in the evening she had lost her mask. This was not going well. This was the worst thing that could happen because surely he was going to send her home before any adventure could take place. "You wouldn't understand," she muttered resentfully. Her heart felt like a pillow that had lost a good portion of its feathers. Not even a good fluffing would do.

"What wouldn't I understand?"

And with that question she had a choice, unburden her deepest fear wrapped in her most vulnerable of desires…or…lie. Something about his simple question and the way his head was leaning against the cushion, just slightly tilted toward her, was so unintimidating that she decided to try honesty.

"The need for a different life."

She expected a sigh or irritation. A rant. A grumble. Anything resembling the grumpy, arrogant, domineering man that had graced her with his presence thus far this evening.

Instead, the not-so-fake pirate turned his head so that it was facing the roof of the carriage, and then he closed his eyes.

Waiting for far too long in the silence made her uneasy, but then she realized that the carriage hadn't changed directions, so not wanting to risk uttering any words that might change his mind, she sat still .

After what felt like multiple London seasons had passed, the carriage finally jolted to a stop.

Gradually, Jude opened his eyes, and without a passing glance in her direction, he alighted the carriage.

Were they really—

"Are you just going to sit there after you went to all that trouble of sneaking around?"

Agatha popped her head out of the carriage door and saw the port. Mouth agape, she couldn't believe her luck. He hadn't sent her home.

"Before you get any fantastical ideas, I'm sending you home."

"But—"

"You may as well see the ship first."

"But—"

"Let's go before I change my mind realizing that this is the most asinine thing I've ever done."

And since she was a glutton for humiliation, of course she asked, "Even more so than earlier?"

"Don't remind me." Jude scrubbed his hand down his face. "This evening is full of asinine behavior. Must be a full moon."

They both looked up at the crescent moon, neither one acknowledging it.

Jude huffed and started toward his ship.

"Wait—"

"Keep up," he barked.

Agatha scrambled down and quickly picked up her pace to match his stride as best as she could. Which is to say she was basically running beside him considering his size. Hopefully she didn't trip. She would be forced to reach for him to rebalance herself, and the last thing she wanted to do right now was rely on him. Or touch him. Or think about touching him. Or even think about relying on him. He was her means to an adventure. To experience. The word sparkled brilliantly in front of her, outshining any stars she had seen in the night sky.

Not acknowledging her dreamlike state, his long muscular legs, thighs as thick as tree trunks, consumed the ground at double the rate of her own legs.

So busy was she keeping up with his pace, she hardly noticed the change in terrain as they embarked on the ship. But she certainly recognized it when Jude braced his hand against her lower back.

"This is the ship."

And for the first time, the full impact of her choice settled in her heart.

Out beyond England was an entire world she had never known. Entire civilizations of people she had never met. Couldn't predict how they lived. What they ate. What they thought or believed. Pockets of worlds everywhere. And this ship could show her some of them. And it was as though someone had opened a lock on her spirit that she hadn't known was there.

Unlocked.

Free.

But what to do with that freedom? She could be anyone, do anything. There was no one hovering over her shoulder criticizing her. Hell, even if they were judging her it didn't matter because they didn't know who she was.

This newfound feeling was at the same time and in equal measures both thrilling and down to her core terrifying.

"Do you trust me?" Jude's abrupt question interrupted her thoughts.

"What?"

"Do you trust me, Siren?" He reached out his hand to draw her toward the ship .

And wasn't that the question of the ages. Did she trust him? God, she shouldn't. There was nothing trustworthy about the man, was there? He had faked everything so far this evening.

Well, wait. Had he?

Actually, he hadn't lied about anything so far. She had been the one hiding herself. He hadn't even dressed up for a masquerade ball for goodness' sakes. He had come as a privateer. He had arrived and departed as himself. She had been the fool to mistake him for a pirate, and then to think that it was just a costume.

So if anyone had been lying this evening, it had been her. Just like it always was.

Dressing as a mermaid, as if she held some magical powers. Lying about her interest in philosophy. All to please her mother.

Well…where was dear ol' mother now. She wasn't here. Agatha was alone with a man who had no reason to lie to her or expect anything of her. He had no stake in her welfare or reputation. He had nothing to lose or gain by being around her. She had been the one to force herself upon him each and every time, so why quit now.

She eyed his outstretched hand. Her heart thumped a wild beat in her chest, and she could feel drops of sweat drip down her back. The ocean breeze whooshed across her face, calming her. The sound of the waters inviting her. She didn't know yet what she was getting into. But that was always the way of doing something new. You don't know what you don't know. So here was her chance to learn.

Did she trust him?

Placing her hand in his, she allowed him to lead the way.