CHAPTER 44

RISSA

Screams can be heard in the distance. Clangs and cracks. Timberwings roaring. Then there's a deafening crash, and the room I'm in shakes.

I'm barely able to stop myself from slamming my hands over my ears.

My pacing steps come to a halt on the carpeted floor of this cold, dark house we're hiding in. "What's happening?" I ask the soldier. Cran is his name. Osrik chose him to be my guard as I wait in this estate house, while the battle rages outside in Ranhold.

Cran straightens up away from the window and looks over at me. His black hair and armor blend in with the shadows. "I can't be sure, Lady Rissa. I believe that sound may have been the castle's walls, but I don't have a clear line of sight."

I clench my molars together with irritation—irritation and fear. I start to pace again, ignoring the bloodstains on the floor. I don't want to know what happened to the previous owners of this house, but I can draw enough conclusions. It's the same thing that's happened to the rest of this ruined and empty street.

Death.

Everywhere they go, it appears the fae are very thorough. If I had still been in Ranhold Castle when they'd come…I'd be dead too.

I shiver with the thought, and then another crash sounds in the distance, like an entire building has toppled, and I'm ready to jump right out of my skin.

"Enough!" I hiss out before I stalk toward the front door. I can't stay here. I can't.

"Lady Rissa, what are you doing?" Cran calls with alarm.

"Manu got the better house to watch the battle from," I say over my shoulder. "We're going there. Right now."

When I reach for the doorknob, Cran's hand lands on my arm. "My lady, we can't go out there!"

I turn to him, arching a brow. "You were just staring out the window. Are there any nefarious fae out on the street?"

"Well…no, but—"

"Great, so we won't have any trouble walking up the block to the estate where Manu is," I say before dropping my eyes to where he's still gripping me. "And I can assure you, Captain Osrik will not be pleased if I tell him you wouldn't unhand me."

His grip releases like his palm has been seared with fire.

"Let's go."

Cran curses as I yank open the door. I peer out, but the shadowed street is just as empty as it was when I was dumped here several hours ago. I step down from the stoop and onto the frosty cobbles while Cran sticks himself to my side, sword in hand and head swiveling.

The view out here screams of a hasty retreat. There are abandoned carriages, barrels and chests overturned, food and clothing left behind in piles, and body-shaped clumps of snow that I avert my attention from.

"Which one is it?" I whisper to Cran. Despite the bravado I'm putting on, my heart is pounding in my chest. Any one of these clustered houses could be hiding a fae. Every shadowed alley we pass could reveal an enemy about to jump out at us and attack.

But I couldn't stand being in that other house a second longer. I need to know what's happening. I need to know if Osrik is okay.

Our steps seem far too loud, even with the sounds of the fierce battle coming from the direction of the castle. I can see its stone walls looming ahead, the top of the turrets visible even from the bottom of this hill.

Cran and I crest it, steps hurrying up the slope, and then he points. "Queen Kaila's brother is there, Lady Rissa."

My eyes narrow on the white-painted estate. The iron gate lies knocked off its hinges, and I believe that oblong shape in the snow is a frozen corpse, but this place has a far better vantage point, which is probably why Manu chose it.

"Why does his house have a tower?" I say to Cran, gesturing upward. "We didn't have a tower."

He gives me a sidelong look and then walks ahead of me. "Let me announce us…so we don't get stabbed." He mutters that last part, but I choose to ignore it.

We walk past the bent gates, and I wait in the yard while Cran hurries up to the door. He opens it, calling softly, and I hear an answering voice. They go back and forth for a moment, and I hear something like, "Why?" Then, "I don't know, but I can't just say no!"

I leave them to it, craning to look in the direction of the battle, but even here, the rows of houses along the road make it impossible to see. My hands twist in front of me, fingers twitching over my thick fur coat.

"Lady Rissa?" Cran calls.

I quickly turn and go into the estate. My gaze sweeps through the dark house, and I hear the guards shut the door behind me as I make my way through the entry. "Where's Manu?"

"Up in the tower room, Lady Rissa," the Third Kingdom soldier answers. "This way."

"Of course he is," I mutter.

I follow him up a set of spiral stairs, my own guard hot on my heels. "Lady Rissa," Cran says quietly, "Captain Osrik will not like you being in the same room as Manu…"

"Then Captain Osrik should've put me in a house with a tower so I could adequately see what the hell is going on."

He doesn't have a reply to that.

"Besides, are you going to let Manu hurt me?"

"Of course not, my lady."

"Then everything is fine. We're just here for the view."

Manu's guard reaches the top floor, and I hear him speaking just as I enter the room. I spot Manu instantly. He looks from the guard to me, black brows lifting in surprise. "Lady Rissa?"

"You have the better house," I explain curtly as I look around.

We're in a solar tower room, with a few chairs gathered around a dark fireplace. Against one of the walls, there's glass littered around an overturned bookshelf and broken bar cart. But there are no dead bodies and it's not burnt down, which is more than I can say for most of the other houses in the city.

I can feel all three men staring at me as I head for the window where Manu is standing. I stop in front of it and look out. "Much better," I say, because now, I have a full view of the castle and its walls.

And the battle raging in front of it.

We're still quite a distance away, but I can see people in the snow in front of the protective walls. I can tell the difference of who is who just by the colors. Fourth Kingdom is easy to spot in their black armor that shows up starkly against the snow, while the fae are blobs of gray.

There are far more gray blobs. We're very clearly outnumbered.

I wring my hands again as worry starts peeling at me, leaving my heart in strips. I strain to see. To find him in the fray.

Where is he?

Manu is careful not to stand too close to me. Despite how cold it is here, he has the window open to see better, and ice has gathered along the windowpane. The only light we have comes from the patchy dawn that's trying to sew itself into the sky. A deplorable hour, if you ask me. But now, I'm desperate for the muted light.

Osrik tried to explain the main points of their plans, but I have no mind for battles or strategies. All I heard was violence. All I could imagine was him running straight into danger.

If he gets himself killed, I will kill him.

Then there's another loud sound, and this time, I see it: timberwings dropping chunks of stone onto the fae who stand on Ranhold's wall. In response, the fae are shooting some sort of magic into the sky that streaks across like dripping yolk.

It lands against one of the timberwings, and the winged beast screeches in pain as it starts to plummet. I flinch when it crashes to the ground in a spray of snow and doesn't move again.

Alarm blares through my ears and I turn away from the window and start to pace. What if that was Osrik on that bird?

I'm going to be sick.

This room isn't overly large, especially not with three men in it, but I walk the entire length of it from wall to wall like I can walk off some of this worry.

The ground shakes again with a distant rumble, and I think I hear another building crashing down.

I go still. "Manu, what's happening?"

I don't know anything about battles other than I've never wanted to be near one. Which just proves how vastly different my life has become.

If Osrik had tried to send me away from him, I would've released my temper in a way he hasn't even seen yet—and he's seen quite a bit.

Not that I want to be near an active battle, but I'd rather choose this than be separated from him. That would be more dangerous. It would eat away at me, bite by bite. It would chew up my thoughts, consume every emotion. I'd dissolve into a puddle of anxiety that I wouldn't be able to digest.

I don't have the sort of strength it takes to wait.

Though I have to admit…being in the barracks during the battle at Cliffhelm and being here, listening and seeing it…it's horrible.

And yet, I can't not be here.

There is no good scenario. Either way, I do end up waiting. Either from afar or up close. At least up close, I can get back to Osrik faster. Whether it's to throw my arms around him and feel that he's okay…

Or be here where he dies.

Furious fear makes a tear drip from my eye at the thought.

I hate armies and battles and war. Just one glance out this window, and you can see the devastation of it. Most of the city has been burned, everyone who lived here gone.

I don't know anything about fighting, but I know that no matter how many times I pace the room, this battle is going to end, one way or another, so I need to know what's happening.

"Manu," I say again sharply.

His gaze is fixed out the window. "So far, everything has been going to plan. We're drawing the fae out from the castle's walls, and our side has advanced past their first line of defense on the ground."

I stare at him as he speaks, studying him. His long black hair is tied back neatly, the shape of his face perfectly offsetting deep brown eyes. I told Osrik all was forgiven, but that isn't true. I only said it so that he wouldn't go and commit murder and then be punished for it. I won't let Manu Ioana or his queen sister ruin any more of our time or our lives. Especially not when I've barely escaped with mine.

Manu turns his head, catching me looking. "You're glaring at me again."

"Am I?" I ask, though I know he's right. I can feel the edges of my gaze hanging off the corners of my face. It's quite sharp.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he says.

"Again," I say curtly. "Hurt me again ."

He winces slightly and turns to fully face me. "I have already said it multiple times, but I say it again, Lady Rissa. I apologize for the harm that fell upon you because of me and my actions. You've no idea how much I wish that hadn't happened to you."

I don't even attempt to suppress the roll of my eyes. "This repeated conversation is boring me."

The corner of his lips twitches in the smallest movement. "You know, I believe in a different life, under different circumstances, we could have been friends."

"Doubtful. I loathe most people."

He cocks his head. "You seem to be very friendly with the captain."

"Osrik doesn't count."

"No?" he says lightly. "What about Lady Auren?"

My eyes narrow. "Oh, you mean the Lady Auren that you knocked out and kidnapped? That Lady Auren?" I say waspishly, my lips curling up when I see him wince again. "Yes, actually. She doesn't count either. I don't loathe her."

"No need for me to ask which category I'm in, I presume?"

"You presume correctly," I reply. "You're firmly in the loathe pile."

"I deserve that." He starts to say something else, but the sound of screaming suddenly bolts through the air and strikes my eardrums.

My heart lurches up my throat, and I rush over to the window and look out again. "What's happening now?"

"It's alright." Manu's voice is calm, which infuriates me. I flinch when I hear another massive boom. "This is part of the first phase, remember?"

"No, I don't remember," I snap as I grip the wooden windowsill. The horrible screaming echoing through the air makes me want to run. "Osrik told me a lot of things, but I'm not a soldier!"

Manu doesn't speak harshly back to me. Instead, he only nods and then points his finger. "That's my sister's magic. She's confusing the fae."

I look out with a tight chest and darting eyes, noting several timberwings circling the air. Manu points at Ranhold Castle, his fingertip skimming over its ruined wall that's fallen and charred, like perhaps fae magic burnt right through it. Then my gaze drags down to the ground below where people are fighting.

"We've drawn them all out. The fae are fully engaged, and my sister's magic is confusing them. See?"

I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to be seeing, because I'm overwhelmed with all those gray blobs. "There's so many of them," I say, fear tightening my throat. I shouldn't have looked.

Why did I look?

"They're going to overwhelm us…" I say shakily, scared and angry all at once.

"We planned for this," Manu says gently. "Watch."

Stuck to the view, I do just that. Watch as the fighting rages on.

"This was a stupid idea," I hiss at him. "For us to come here. There are too many of them. We don't have the advantage here that we had at Cliffhelm—and even that was planned on a damn prayer. We don't have a rotten ground to work with here. I don't know how they thought this was a good idea…"

Fae are slaying Orean soldiers down there. I just know it. What if it's my Orean soldier? What if Osrik is hurt, or dying?

My stomach roils.

"We might not have a rotten ground, but Fourth's army is the fiercest for a reason, and it's not only because of King Rot. They're known for being master strategists."

"I don't care," I snarl. "We're going to lose. Everyone is going to die. Look at all of them!"

Manu carefully places his hand on mine where my nails are digging into the sill. I didn't realize I was shaking until right now, but his touch makes me freeze in place.

"You aren't going to die," he says quietly, and I finally slash my gaze from the battle to his face. He's looking at me with soft sympathy. A shared humanity, which is so very different from how he looked at me in the gardens of Brackhill right before I was stabbed by the very people he let in.

"I promise you this, Lady Rissa. If we should lose today, I will personally do everything in my power to get you out. You will not die."

I believe what he says—his tone is too vehement for me not to. And while I am afraid for myself, I'm mostly terrified for Osrik. I can't bear to go down to that battlefield and see him in a puddle of blood, all hacked up.

Tears burn my eyes.

"Aren't you frightened for your sister?" I whisper.

Manu nods. "Yes. But I believe we are going to make it out of this."

"Why?"

He lifts a shoulder. "Sometimes, you have to live on faith."

Through the open window, snow starts to blow in alongside another crash of stone. The screaming has stopped, but now, it sounds like a thousand voices are yelling at once. If it's this loud here, I can't even imagine how blaring it is right in the thick of it.

A blinding light tosses into the sky toward a group of circling timberwings. I hear Manu suck in a breath, his face going pale as the birds start to screech.

Trails of smoke follow as four of them fall through the air.

"Who is it?" I desperately ask. "Who got hit?"

"I—I don't know," he says, shaken for the first time. "It looked like Third's colors, but I'm not sure…"

It could be his sister, or he could be wrong and it could've been Osrik.

The back of my throat burns with bile, and this time, I squeeze his hand.

"Live on faith," I grit out. "Right?"

He glances over at me, his expression grim, but he squeezes my hand back. The two of us, him full of regret, me with hate, now joined together with fear.

"Yes, Lady Rissa. We must keep faith."

But how do you do that when it feels so futile?