CHAPTER 32

C HAPTER 32

T amsyn usually enjoyed the freedom of wearing boy’s clothing, but after doing that continuously for so long, it was a pleasure to dress as a female again. She hung up the blue morning gown she’d worn to dinner in the hope that some of the wrinkles would fall out, and after her delightful hot-water washup, she donned a soft shift to sleep in. Mrs. Williams had lent her a cozy shawl for the evening, and she felt thoroughly pampered.

As she combed the tangles from her freshly washed hair, she wondered if Cade and Bran really would talk all night. Quite possibly, and much of their discussion would surely be about her and Cade.

She was starting to braid her hair in preparation for going to bed when there was a soft knock on her door. As she crossed the room to open it, she wondered who would be calling at this late hour, but she couldn’t sense who was on the other side of the door. Which was interesting because she almost always knew.

She opened the door and blinked in surprise to see Cade. He was wearing only a shirt and trousers, both fresh, probably supplied by Bran. Cade looked equally tense and yearning.

“Come in.” She stood back so he could enter. “I didn’t feel you there.”

“Bran suggested using stealth so I could visit with you in private,” he explained as he closed the door.

“What a very fine idea!” She stepped up to him and rose on her toes to slip her arms around his neck so she could draw his face down for a kiss.

Passion flared as his mouth opened against hers and his beautiful strong hands stroked down her back, kneading and caressing and bringing every fiber of her being to life. The kiss lasted for a gloriously long time. As heat and a golden glow rose between them, she thought dizzily that she didn’t need Mrs. Williams’s shawl anymore.

Then Cade broke the kiss and stepped back, luckily keeping his hands on her shoulders or she might have lost her balance. “This isn’t why I came here,” he said unevenly.

She tilted her head. “No?”

He swallowed hard, his face tight in the lamplight. “At least, not the main reason.”

He was serious, she realized. She stepped away, glad she hadn’t dropped the shawl since she was cold again. “Have a seat.”

She gestured at the room’s one wooden chair, then perched on the edge of the bed, pulling the shawl tight. “Did Bran sense what’s between us?”

Cade sighed. “Of course he did.”

“Not surprising considering how well he knows us both.” She bit her lip. “What was his reaction?”

“He wants us both to be happy and if it’s with each other, we have his blessing,” Cade said tersely. “But . . .” His voice trailed off.

“Of course there’s a ‘but,’” she said a little tartly. “Does he think a romance between us will shatter the Tribe of Tremayne?”

“Not necessarily.” Cade paused as if searching for words. “But he’s concerned that we’re moving too quickly. I’ve always known that I love you, but for you it’s a new idea. Desire can be a kind of madness and it might masquerade as love when, in fact, it’s only madness.”

She drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them as she considered his words. “That’s a fair point, but Bran may be worrying unnecessarily. Don’t desire and love often go hand in hand? They seemed to when Bran and Merryn met.”

“Yes,” Cade agreed, “but our situation is more complicated. Much more complicated.”

She studied his strong, concerned face. Cade and Bran were the oldest Tremayne sons and they’d modeled themselves after Rhys, who was the most responsible, compassionate, and protective father imaginable. As the bastard son of a smuggler, Cade in particular was always willing to put his own needs last if he thought doing so would help another family member. The dear, foolish man.

“Cade, your desire to protect me from my own possible errors is admirable but unnecessary. I have the right to make my own mistakes.”

He frowned. “I didn’t think you ever made mistakes.”

“They’re rare,” she agreed, “but I’m quite sure I’m not making one now. Though your declaration of love was a shocking surprise, it released a part of myself that I’d been suppressing. Because of that, I’m sure of what I’m doing.” She uncoiled from her position on the high bed and slid to the floor. “And it’s not a mistake.”

She moved forward and embraced him again, leaning into him both physically and emotionally. “I know you don’t ever want to hurt me in any way.”

“I would die first,” he said unsteadily.

She smiled up at him. “Isn’t that rather melodramatic? I don’t want you to die. I want you to trust me enough to make my own choices and my own mistakes.” She laughed a little. “Which we have both admitted are extremely rare!”

His expression eased. “I can’t think of any mistakes you’ve ever made.”

“I could give you a list, but what I want you to accept is that I have the right to choose my own path, and what I choose is you .”

She raised her face for another kiss, and when their lips met with intoxicating desire, she rolled her hips against him. His response was instant and unmistakable.

“I can’t resist you,” he said a little helplessly.

“You aren’t supposed to resist!” she said as she caught his hand and tugged him toward the bed. “We are here together now, wanting each other equally. I trust you to take care of me when I need it, and you need to trust me to care for you equally. Can you do that, my darling man?”

He began to laugh. “I’ve never been able to win an argument against you!”

“Why would you want to when I’m right?”

He laughed again. “I bow to your matchless wisdom, my darling lady!”

She backed into the bed. It was high so Cade swooped her up and laid her tenderly in the center of the mattress. He stretched out beside her and skimmed his hand along her body from the curve of her cheek, over her breasts and belly, down to her thighs, pausing there to let the heat of his palm warm her. Everywhere he touched came alive with golden yearning, a desire for more .

“You are so lovely. Perfect and exquisite in all ways.”

She chuckled. “I’m grateful for the sweet words, and for the fact that the light is rather dim here!”

He shook his head, smiling down at her. “You are beautiful in all light and all situations.”

“Even when I’m rumpled and wearing clothing that has been saturated in seawater so I must taste like a lightly salted fish?”

“Especially then because you shine with beauty and grace even when you look as if you’ve been washed and salted.” He bent forward and kissed her throat. “Not salty at all. In fact, you smell like lavender.”

“Mrs. Williams was generous with her handmade soap.”

Needing to touch him back, she brushed his cheek with her fingertips. He’d shaved and she felt only the faintest prickle of whiskers, erotic and masculine. A golden sensation curled through her, increasing her desire. She knew that Bran saw silver when something important was at stake. Was this golden glow she felt with Cade similar? She didn’t really need to discuss it with Bran. She already knew that this golden glow was a gift beyond price.

She slipped her hand around his neck and pulled his head down for another kiss. His mouth was a miracle, deliciously Cade, amazingly stimulating. She’d been kissed by aspiring suitors and had never found their caresses very interesting. But Cade? “You have the most wonderful mouth,” she murmured.

He gave a mock growl. “The better to eat you with, my delectable little morsel!” He nibbled down her neck, and didn’t that feel wonderful? The air sparkled with golden light.

Her shift had buttons almost to her waist, and he undid them one by one as his lips moved sensuously over her bare skin until they reached her breast. She gasped as a sensation shot directly from her nipple to her loins.

She was even more shocked when she realized that he’d drawn her shift up around her waist and his fingertips had drifted to the incredibly sensitive area between her thighs. His delicate stroking created a wholly improbable amount of heat and desire. Panting, she buried her fingers in his dark hair to bring him even closer.

Then his lips followed his fingertips to that frighteningly sensitive place. “Cade!” she gasped as his magically gifted tongue triggered a cascade of sensations that exploded into searing need even more intense than what she’d felt that amazing night of discovery they’d spent together at the cottage.

Her body thrashed out of control yet felt safely held by his strength and protective body as she reached a peak unlike anything she’d ever experienced. “ Cade! ”

The fierce sensations flowed away, leaving her limp with astonishment and satisfaction. Cade rested his cheek against her belly as he whispered, “My darling, darling princess.”

When her mind had returned to rationality, she said huskily, “Act One was a stunning success. Now it’s time for Act Two.”

She wriggled so that she was lying on her side beside him, her hand free to roam his body. She sensed his emotions, his profound pleasure with how he’d satisfied her, but his body was tense and controlled until she unbuttoned his fall and slid her hand under to clasp that pulsing length of fascinating male flesh.

He gave a strangled gasp. “With a very small amount of effort on your part, you can end this right now and get that sleep you wanted!”

“Sleep can wait. I want to complete what we have begun.” She tugged at his hip to roll him over onto her, but he caught her hand.

“We can’t go that far,” he said seriously. “Yes, you get to make your own choices, but one risk I refuse to take is the chance of getting you with child. That would be unforgivably irresponsible on my part, and certainly far too soon when we’re still discovering each other!”

“I agree that this is not the right time for a child,” she agreed, “but I will now tell you one of the secrets of Tremayne females.”

He frowned. “There are secret female mysteries? I think I’d rather not know!”

“This one is simple, and I learned it from Gwyn. A gifted Tremayne woman won’t become with child unless she wants it to happen.”

“How can that be?” he said, startled. “There are methods that can reduce the chances of conceiving, from sheaths to withdrawal to vinegar-soaked sponges, but none are entirely reliable, and except for withdrawal, none are available at the moment.”

“I see you’ve made a study of the matter,” Tamsyn said admiringly.

“If Gwyn has secrets for females, Rhys had lectures for his sons so there would be no accidents,” Cade said dryly. “His goal was to make sure that no female would ever be harmed in any way at the hands of a Tremayne male.”

“Is that one of the reasons you feel that you might be wronging me?” she asked quietly. “Because you’re not.”

“It’s difficult not to feel that I’m breaking one of the cardinal rules of being a Tremayne,” he said haltingly. “No matter how much you point out that we’re not blood kin, my feelings for you still seem . . . wrong. ”

She caught his hand and drew it to her heart. “Then I must be glad that Bastien scrambled your mind enough for you to speak up! But to return to the previous subject, what Gwyn said is very simple. A strongly gifted woman will not conceive unless she wills it.”

“I’m having trouble believing this,” he admitted.

“Think of Gwyn. She bore three children, with two years between each of us, but remember how she almost died when Caitlin was born?”

He shuddered. “None of us ever forgot that! You saved her life.”

“With the help of every gifted person in the household, if you recall.” Her brows drew together. “Now that I think of it, that healing was a very powerful example of what can be possible when gifted people share their abilities to reach a common goal. Like the stealth you wield, it’s a powerful technique and we should explore it further. But the point I wanted to make was that after she almost died, she was never with child again because she feared for her health, so she told her body not to conceive.”

“It’s still difficult to believe.”

“If we can’t believe Gwyn, whom can we believe?” Tam said reasonably. “And if you don’t quite believe her, trust me when I say that there will be no unwanted consequences from whatever we do tonight!”

“You’re very convincing,” he admitted.

“I want to have this time with you now because when we reach London, we’ll have to tell Gwyn and Rhys about us,” she said, knowing it was impossible to predict what would happen after that.

“So we shouldn’t waste this opportunity.” He released his breath in a long sigh. “I surrender, my dearest love.”

“Then it’s time we removed the rest of our clothing because I really want to be skin to skin with you,” she said mischievously.

“An excellent goal.” He sat up and pulled off his shirt, revealing his broad, powerful chest with its artistic dusting of dark hair. By the time he’d shed the rest of his garments, Tamsyn had untangled her shift from around her waist and tossed it away. Now she lay on her side waiting for him, her eyes warm with welcome.

Cade stretched out beside her and leaned forward into a kiss. She drank him in, amazed how a simple kiss could make every cell in her body thrum with desire. He began stroking along her side, bringing warmth wherever he touched.

A little shyly, she stroked him in return, her hand drifting down until she could clasp him and feel the fierce pulse of his desire. He sucked in his breath at her touch. “You’re like a spark to tinder, Tam!”

“Then let us enjoy the fire together,” she breathed. It took very little mutual caressing to return both of them to eager readiness.

When the time felt right, Cade rolled up and positioned himself above her, saying apologetically, “This first time will certainly be uncomfortable and quite possibly painful. Let me know if you want me to stop.”

“Virginity is something I want over, so I swear I won’t want to stop,” Tam said, smiling as she opened her arms to him. “Come to me, my beautiful man!”

Exercising all his control, he slid into her gradually. She felt herself expanding, at first startled by the sensation of fullness and then welcoming it. His soft words and commanding movements were rousing the madness again. When they were fully joined, they were both very still for long moments, the only sound their mutual rough breathing.

She cautiously moved her hips against him once, then again when he caught his breath. Enjoying the sense of power, she rocked into him with delight.

His control shattered and he surged into her with all his love and gifts of power, sweeping them both into spiraling madness. It was beyond anything she’d ever imagined, a joining of mind and body that ravished all her senses as the whole world turned golden.

Her culmination triggered his release and together they shared joy unbounded. After, as she lay warm and protected in Cade’s arms, she looked forward to a future where they would continue to explore and discover new depths of loving as long as they both should live. There would be challenges ahead, but by God, together they would meet and overcome them!

Aloud she said, “I’m glad that we’ve had this time together before we reach London and reveal our love to the rest of the family.”

He sighed. “Yes, we must tell them. Who knows what will happen next. Trouble, I think.”

“I feel that things will work out for us,” she said slowly, “but that may just be my native optimism. Or should that be na?ve optimism?”

Cade chuckled. “We’re both supposed to be powerfully gifted, but we’re just as confused about the future as anyone else!”

“Think how dull life would be if we always knew what would happen!” She snuggled closer to him. “You have become the most glorious surprise ever, my darling Cade. Sleep well. . . .”