Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Kylan

Silence settles around the room before my brothers and Ma move closer to soothe the vulnerable Omega.

Her words echo in my mind.

I’ve always been a burden…

Goldie sniffles as Ma steps to her side where she sits at the table and gently gathers her close. Because she’s so short, combined with the height of the chair, Goldie’s head rests on Ma’s shoulder. Cill runs a calming hand down the back of her head, while Aldair crouches down to her eye level.

I hold back my need to jump forward and comfort her. My brothers have always been the ones taking the lead. I follow them willingly, and without question because all my life, they’ve done nothing but try to protect and guide me.

At this moment, though, I feel inferior. It’s not the first time I’ve felt like this, but it is the first time it’s made me feel as if I’m watching them move on without me. I know they would never leave me behind…not unless they had no other choice. Because our mate will always take priority. Especially her safety.

I can’t help but envy the trust they have in themselves. They know they won't hurt her. That their connection to her doesn’t make them volatile. Cillian has this confidence that makes me wish I was more like him. He’s not even scared that she’ll reject him. Of course, Aldair probably hasn’t even considered rejection as a possible outcome. Why would he? He has so much to offer our Omega.

What do I offer any of them? Animal care… they’d be just fine without me. Especially now that they have Goldie.

My past just proves what a danger I am to the Omega. Ma learned that lesson in the worst way. She wears the proof of my inadequacy on her cheek.

Goldie’s fear of being a burden is something I understand on a deep level. The difference is that she could never be a burden to my brothers and me, but I’ve already shown them what a burden I am. Once Goldie learns the truth, she won’t want me.

She might accept our monster forms one day, but she could never accept the monstrous things I’ve done to the people I love most.

“My sweet one, you are not a burden here. Reuniting with you is such a treasure for me. Giving you a place to be safe away from those vile human beings…” Ma shakes her head, her meaning implied, but she doesn’t say it, instead she swallows the words down, and comforts Goldie with a hug. “Rest assured, you are very much wanted,” Ma trails off as she steps back and brushes the hair off of Goldie’s forehead, before pressing a kiss there. Ma gives her affection so freely. When she loves, she loves with all she has. Something else I envy. I’m too scared I’ll hurt someone if I love freely.

“You’re absolutely not a burden to us, Goldie. We would be honored to continue to share our home with you,” Aldair says the words softly, but he makes sure she knows he means them. My oldest brother always knows the right thing to say. Goldie smiles at him so sweetly, it makes my jealousy spike. I want her to look at me like that…

Cill continues to caress the back of her head, and I don’t miss the subtle shift in her posture as she leans into him more.

I remain pressed against the wall, as close to her as I dare to get. The need to pull my mate into my arms, and shield her from all these painful thoughts, has my chest aching. I don’t think I’m what Goldie needs.

“In the village, I never had a place I truly belonged after Mom died, and you were gone. I want to find my place in the world, somewhere I fit just right.” Goldie makes eye contact with each of us before she glances back down at her wrapped wrist.

“Maybe you already have,” Ma says with a gentle smile and a teasing wink that seems to set Goldie at ease because she smiles right back at Ma. She doesn’t know that she’s already found the place she belongs.

It’s up to us to show her that our home is hers now, to prove to her that our souls are hers, until she feels it in her heart the same way we do. That caring for her is our greatest joy and deepest wish. Our pack wasn’t complete without her here with us.

“I could use some air,” Goldie says, as she takes a deep breath. My brothers both make eye contact with me before they nod to the door outside. I don’t protest, even though I want to tell them no. I don’t trust myself alone with her, but at the same time, I desperately want to be near her, always.

“How would you like to come outside and meet some friends of mine? It’s time for afternoon feed.” I try to look confident when she peeks over at me, and I smile encouragingly. I’ll never get to a point where I can trust myself as much as my brothers do, if I never try. I know they’ll both be close by, and if I feel myself slip, I know they’ll jump in to protect Goldie without hesitation. I have no doubt they’ll be watching us through the windows.

“I would love to! Can you show me how to do the feeds? I want to show you all how grateful I am.” Her excited smile turns shy as she looks over at Ma. “It’s the least I can do,” she adds with a shrug before standing and walking over to me. I can tell both Cill and Dair want to correct her, tell her she owes us nothing, but Ma speaks up before either of them gets the chance.

“I’ll finish getting dinner together for us, if you’d like to join me?” Ma isn’t really asking, my brothers and I know this, but Goldie nods, making Ma grin. “Good, because I put a roast in earlier, just in case.” Ma winks and the guys and I chuckle. She knows damn well the three of us would never deny ourselves her cooking. “Cillian, why don’t you go gather some vegetables from the garden for a salad. Aldair, I will need your help with the firewood, I’ve nearly used it all up,” Ma barks out like an Alpha instead of the gentle spirited Delta she is. Years of raising us has made her efficient at dividing and issuing tasks.

I smile at Goldie, as I hold my hand out, gesturing for her to walk ahead of me, but she takes my hand in hers. The moment her soft palm touches mine, my breath leaves me in a rush. I can feel the pink taking over my cheeks as I gently lead her outside. I wasn’t expecting her to touch me, but it feels incredible. The connection between us feels like a lightning strike, and I nearly forget the point of leading her outside.

Walking behind the cottage in the direction of the storage shed, we are quickly swarmed by the many animals Ma treats like her furred and feathered children as they recognize my scent. The chickens and ducks have flocked to the Omega’s side for attention. I raised most of these animals alongside Ma, while she taught me to control the impulsive nature of my monster side. Unlike with my brothers, the animals always seek me out. I reach down with my free hand to pat a young goat when a squeal startles me.

The Omega drops my hand to pick up a small duckling that waddles over to her. Soft cream feathers twitch under her hand as the duck settles into the crook of her arm. There’s a soft wonder to her blue eyes as she snuggles the lucky duck.

She dropped my hand to cuddle you, you little fluff, so you better enjoy it. I think as I watch her coo at the sweet thing. Her kind heart is easy to see as I watch her, and for a moment I’m enchanted by the sight. Her scent has sweetened as well, and when she lets out her purr, I fall a little more in love with her. That's the same purr she would use to comfort her child…to show her affection without words. When I glance up at the garden, I see Cill has taken notice of the sweet sound and is watching her as well. I imagine the dopey love struck look on his face matches my own.

After another few minutes of Goldie nuzzling the duckling, she turns to me with wide eyes.

“Oh! I’m supposed to be learning how to feed them, not just petting them!” she giggles, placing the duckling back on the ground.

“It’s alright. They love attention, and I don’t mind waiting,” I tell her honestly, before nodding for her to follow me to the shed where we keep the feed for all of Ma’s animals. “So the chickens and ducks eat this,” I say, showing her the sack containing their feed Ma grows. I grab out a scoop of crumble for the chickens and ducks, and hand it to her. “Then a bucket's worth of barley for the goats, here.” I show her as I grab that as well. Happy bleats echo around me as I fill the trough with food, showing Goldie what to do.

“What do I do?” The look in her eyes as she turns to me stalls my heart and steals my breath. She’s unsure, doesn’t want to mess this up, and she trusts me to guide her. Her faith in me is something I didn’t expect her to give so freely. So easily. But she has, even if it’s just for this one thing, it’s everything. I don’t feel the least bit out of control at this moment. For now, Goldie is safe by my side, and it’s a feeling I want to hold on to.

“Dump it out for them. Spread it out,” I say, wanting her to do this for herself, so she feels that sense of accomplishment after caring for them. She shakes out grain for them but keeps a small handful for her new friend. She looks to me for reassurance, and I nod, before she scoops the little duckling up again, allowing it to nibble the feed from her palm.

“I think I might need to come back for a visit soon,” Goldie chuckles, talking to the duckling, more than to me.

“Once it’s old enough, you can take it with you back to our home,” I offer, not thinking about my words until I’ve already said them. I implied she’d be staying with us long enough for the duckling to grow, and I said our home. I meant ours, as in hers as well, but I’m not sure if that's how Goldie sees it yet. I want her to, but I’m trying not to overwhelm her. Not any more than she already has been.

Two mornings ago, she was waking up in a village where she was unwanted. This morning, she woke up in a home with her mates. The three Alpha monsters that she still doesn’t even know the truth of.

“Your home…” she whispers, so softly, that if I wasn’t a monster, with enhanced hearing, I wouldn’t have heard her. I have to bite my tongue to keep myself from correcting her. I need to be patient. I need to give her time to see it as our home. I’ve known about her for a very long time. She’s known me for less than twenty-four hours now.

“You said you don’t want to be a burden. I know what that’s like. Sometimes I feel like I don’t… fit. Or belong… I don’t know how to make a difference or live up to my brothers. They’re both so confident and sure of themselves. I envy that about them…” I trail off as I lead her over to the garden bench nearby. Ma likes to sit here and watch the animals. Growing up, I never felt like I couldn’t be trusted around them. Maybe I should have.

Goldie is quiet for a long moment. The little duckling now rests in her lap, and I find myself once again jealous of a damn duck. We’re sitting arm to arm, and I want to pull her against my chest, but I resist.

“I have been told for as long as I can remember that I’m a burden, a waste of space from my father and stepmother. They liked to remind me how incapable I am. I tried not to listen to them. I told myself that they were wrong. That they hated me because of who they are, and not who I am…but when you hear something repeatedly for sixteen years, it’s hard not to believe it.” Her voice is small and filled with sadness, as she looks out to the surrounding forest. One day, Cillian will make those two pay for what they did to her. My older brothers are both cunning and deadly. They’ll get Goldie her revenge, and I’ll help.

“They don’t deserve to be called your parents. You should have been shown love and compassion. Children are innocent. I’m sorry you went through that, Goldie. You’ll never be treated so poorly ever again, as long as I’m around,” I vow, as the instinct to soothe my mate courses through me. “No one can tell you, you're a burden, and only you can decide where you belong,” I add as I turn toward her. I spread my legs some, and my thigh brushes along hers. The tingle spreading from the contact is distracting, making me want to gather her to my chest, so I can comfort her with my purr.

“I want to do something that’s just for me. With no one telling me what they want from me, or taking away my choice. I want to know who I am when I’m not constantly being told I’m not good enough,” she says fiercely as she looks up at me, her blue eyes are filled with determination. Fuck, she’s so beautiful. I want to steal the fire of her words right off her lips, but now is not the time to kiss her. Soon, though, I hope.

The people in her life have shown her nothing but cruelty and violence. I want to spend my days making her feel cherished and loved. I want to be that soft place for her to land. I want her to know that no matter what life brings our way, she’ll always have us on her side.

I reach over and lace my fingers with hers. She is my purpose, my guiding light, I realize. I felt lost before because I didn’t know where I fit in. I didn’t know how to be what she needs. Now I do. I can be her friend. Her comfort. The person who picks her back up when she’s feeling down.

“Let us help you find out who you want to be. As Aldair said, we are happy to share our home with you.” I swallow thickly, daring to let her know our feelings run deeper with my next words. “And to care for you, if you’ll let us.” I hold her gaze as I let my longing for her shine through my eyes. My purr punctuates my words, and I can tell it affects her as her scent thickens around us.

“I would like that very much, Kylan.” Her words carry her own purr, and I shiver, feeling a need I’ve never known taking over. The sound of my name on her lips has me leaning closer. The intimate moment is ruined when the duck flaps its wings wildly, making us both startle.

Our moment is interrupted further when Ma comes around the side of the house with a towel in her hands.

“You two, come on in, we have supper on the table.” Ma smirks as she turns to head back into the house.

I stand and look down at the golden-haired beauty. When I hold my hand out for hers once again, she takes it without hesitation. I let a little more of my purr slip free. I can’t help it. I want her to know I enjoy her touch. Hopefully she’ll enjoy my touch just as much one day.

I wipe my mouth with a napkin as we finish up our meal, and I try not to look too obvious as I watch Goldie. She’s enjoyed three servings so far. However, when Aldair offers her another, she finally declines. I catch her eying the cookies Ma made, though.

“Would you like one?” I ask, nodding toward where they rest on the counter. She nods eagerly, so I get up, grab the tray, and hand her one. Cill snatches a second one for her, placing it in front of her, and making her grin.

“Thank you so much for the meal, Aunt Alma, it was delicious,” she says as she looks at Ma. I can see the resemblance in their features as they smile at one another. Ma’s once golden hair has turned mostly gray over the years, and they both have blue eyes, but the closer I look, the easier it is to see they’re family.

“Any time, sweet one. I have gathered some things for you that the boys can carry back. Don’t hesitate to come to me for anything you need. I would also like it if you returned for a visit soon,” Ma says with teary eyes, her scent of lavender is heavy in the air, and I can’t help but go over to her to pull her in for a hug. Reuniting with Goldie has ignited a spark in her, I didn’t know was missing. Ma leans her much smaller body into me, accepting the comfort I offer. Maybe she should be scared of me, but even after the horrible day when I lost control, she’s never feared any of us.

Ma has never shown us anything but love and kindness.

“I would love to,” Goldie’s eyes shine with her own unshed tears, but she doesn’t stand, like the rest of us. “Can I talk to you all, before we leave?” She’s nervous, her voice shaking as she looks between all of us quickly. We return to our seats, and wait patiently for Goldie to gather the courage for whatever she wants to talk about.

“Take your time,” Aldair rumbles, as he releases some of his calming pheromones, and it soothes her enough for her to speak.

“I was in the forest yesterday, because two days ago I ran from my village. My parents wanted me to marry a vile man. An evil man. I’d thought of running many times over the years, but until two days ago, I was more scared of the forest than I was of my parents.” Goldie lets out a shaky sigh, looking up and meeting my eyes. I smile at her, hoping she feels my support.

“It’s okay,” I whisper, and Goldie nods.

“The Alpha, Donald, wanted to do some horrible things to me, and I would rather die a bloody, painful death at the hands of monsters, than submit to that fate. So I grabbed Bear and ran. I fell off my horse when something startled him and crawled into a tiny cave, and the rest you already know,” she confesses in a rush, finally breaking eye contact as she stares down at her hands again, like she can’t handle seeing our reactions. “I understand if you want to send me away. I could be putting you in danger, if they’re still looking for me,” she whispers, sounding so broken.

My brothers and I growl, and I know, in that moment, the three of us agree on one thing. We won’t wait for them to come find us. We’ll take the fight to them. In the night, in the dark… We’ll do what we have to, to keep Goldie safe.

“We won’t abandon you, Goldie. Let them come. They’ll find us, and I can promise you, they won’t be able to get past us to get to you, even if they come with the entire village.” Aldair’s vow is fierce, and frightening, even to me. Ma looks worried, but I know it’s just because of our pasts.

Goldie’s eyes are wide as she stares at Aldair, her lips parted on a quiet gasp. Cillian smirks, the promise of violence is exciting him.

“No one will harm you as long as we’re around, I can promise you that,” I tell her in a more gentle tone, hoping to calm her a bit. I can’t tell if she liked Aldair’s protectiveness, or if she is scared now. Until her scent hits me like a brick, and her arousal is in the air. Wow. I shiver. That was intense.

“Thank you. I don’t even have words…” She sniffles, and Ma gets up, patting Goldie’s shoulder. She already knew this story, we heard Goldie telling Ma earlier, but I’m glad she finally trusts us enough to share her truth.

We’ll tell her our truth soon, too. Once we’ve proven ourselves worthy of her.

We say our goodbyes to Ma after that, and head out into the darkening forest to make our way home. Aldair takes the lead as he always does, while Cillian follows closely behind Goldie and me.

When she takes my hand in hers, I can’t help but search the area for a threat. Is she frightened? Instead, she just seems to be lost in her thoughts, trusting my brothers and me to lead her home safely. Does she even realize she’s taken my hand?

The walk home is quick, and I release Goldie when we arrive so she can head inside, while I check on the animals. The only thing I need to do is put out some grain for Bear.

When I head inside, my brothers are getting ready for bed, and Goldie is in the bath in the main washroom. I head into one attached to the nest, and quickly clean my body and my hair. We spent a lot of time outside today, and I have a layer of sweat clinging to my skin.

Once I’m done, I head into my room to grab my clothes for bed. Goldie is already here, and I stop short. I didn’t mean to intrude on her. Thankfully, she’s already dressed for bed. I, however, am only wrapped in a towel. I assumed she would still be in the bath…

“I’m so sorry!” I blurt as I cover my eyes, only to realize that's dumb, because she’s not the one half naked. “I’ll just grab some clothes and get out of here,” I rush to say, but Goldie giggles. The sound is adorable, and I look over at her. She’s sitting on the edge of my bed now, blushing as she smiles at me.

“It’s fine, Ky, this is your room, after all,” she says quietly, still blushing, and looking so cute I could just eat her up. I didn’t know how much I would like the sound of her using my nickname, but I do. I really do.

“I should have knocked first,” I say with a shake of my head, as I look for my clean sleep pants. I find a pair, and pull them on under the towel, before pulling a soft shirt on next. I typically don’t wear so many clothes to bed, but I don’t want to make Goldie uncomfortable.

“I feel bad for stealing your room from you…” she trails off when I meet her gaze.

“I don’t mind, Goldie. Truly. I want you to be comfortable.” I shake my head, as I walk around the side of my bed, and sit on the edge in front of her.

“Let’s alternate? Tonight, you sleep in your bed, and I’ll sleep wherever you’ve been sleeping?” Her offer is so sweet, but I can’t let her see the nest yet. It’s the only room she hasn’t seen, and I can’t tell her I’ve been perfectly comfortable in there.

“No, you sleep in the bed, Goldie. I promise I’m sleeping perfectly well just knowing you’re in my bed.” I send her a playful smirk and bump her shoulder with my own. I love being close to her, and with every hour that passes, I trust myself a little more. My brothers and I have each been taking a little time every night to run in the forest in our monster forms, just to release some of the pent-up tension.

Right now, her scent is filling the air around us, as it spikes with nervousness. Is my nearness making her uncomfortable? I lean back, frowning, but Goldie reaches out, and takes my hand in hers. There’s a soft blush highlighting her cheeks as she works up the courage to say something else.

“If you won’t take turns, then the only solution is for us to share. I think there’s more than enough room for both of us.” Her scent spikes, sharpening. Her heart rate flutters, and she pulls her full bottom lip between her teeth as she stares at me expectantly. I stop breathing. My mouth is hanging open like I’m a fish gasping for oxygen. My cheeks feel like they’re on fire and my hands are sweating.

“I… I…” I’m stuttering. Great job Ky, you look like a fool… “You…” Before I can voice a coherent sentence, she continues.

“I trust you, Ky. You and your brothers have treated me better than anyone else has for the last sixteen years. You’ve taken care of me in a way I thought no one ever would. You shouldn’t lose your bed just for my sake…” She pauses, smiling as some of her nerves seem to settle. “Plus, my aunt raised you. If your actions weren’t enough to prove you’re a good man, that would certainly help,” she chuckles, looking from my face, to the bed, and then back. “We can build a pillow wall if you want,” she offers, making me snort.

“I don’t think a pillow wall is necessary, but if you’re sure…” I say with a nod, and watch her, half entranced, as she scoots over, giving me space to climb onto the bed beside her.

A quick burst of her arousal hits me as she crawls under the covers. I take a moment to blow out the candles that light up the room, and then I do the same as her, settling myself against my pillow. I’m nervous as all hell, something that only gets worse when she scoots closer to me.

I prop both my hands behind my head, as I watch Goldie, and she watches me right back. She shuffles closer, her blue eyes locked with mine, until her breath fans across my chest. I’ve never been more mad at myself for wearing a shirt, but I guess I’m glad I did. Would she be comfortable enough to snuggle up to me if I hadn’t? Still looking down into her eyes, I wrap my arm around her and hold her close. As she settles into the crook of my arm, her head against my heart beat, I release a low purr.

She instantly relaxes in my arms, becoming practically boneless against me. She tilts her head back, smiling at me from under her lashes. The sound of her own purr mixes with mine, as both of our scents get thicker in the air around us. The combination of the two makes me want to roll her onto her back and kiss her silly. Can she hear my heart pounding in my chest? Of course, she can.

Goldie lets out a quiet sigh, before lifting her head until we’re practically nose to nose. There’s a dreamy look in her eyes as she stares up at me. I wish I knew what she was thinking right now. Almost as if my thoughts prompt her, she lets out another sigh of contentment.

“Your purr settles me. Quiets the doubts in my head. It gives me a feeling of happiness I’ve never had before,” she confesses softly, and I can’t resist caressing my hand through her hair. She must not have washed it during her bath because it’s still dry.

“I’m glad, Little Omega. All I want is your happiness,” I tell her honestly. She watches me for a long moment, and it’s as if I’m under a spell, unable to look away from her beauty. Her tongue peaks out between her lips as she wets them, and my breath hitches. Is she going to kiss me?

As her eyes fall shut, and she leans up into me, I remain perfectly still, terrified that any movement will scare her away. The first press of her lips to mine feels like the first day of spring after a hard, cold winter. Like sunshine filling my heart and lighting up my world.

The kiss is gentle, and soft, just like my mate. She pulls away, her bright red cheeks giving away her nervousness. I’m sure mine are just as pink. Her smile is shy, as she stares at me for a moment, like she’s shocked she really kissed me.

Burying her face back into my chest, she curls up tightly into me, and I wrap my arm around her once more. My purr gains volume, something I can’t stop now that she’s giving me something so precious. My first kiss. I brush my lips across the crown of her head as she slowly drifts off to sleep.

“Sweet dreams, Little Omega” I whisper. I can feel a new determination swelling in my chest. I will be the mate Goldie deserves.