11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Merrick

"I want more," Merrick demanded, then tacked on a mumbled, "please."

"I'm sorry, Human Merrick, but you're not due for another dose until sixth mark," Healer Raltinum said as she started up that weird purring sound that almost all the Talin constantly made around him. "I know it's effective at taking away your pain, but too much could cause long-term damage to your kidneys."

"I don't care about the future, I need relief now. A couple of doses close together won't make any difference."

Was that his whiny voice? When had he become such a child? What would Grace think of him right now? She'd roll her eyes and tell him to grow a set of ovum.

God he missed her!

The truth was that he didn't need the vial of navy-colored pain medication he'd dubbed Floating Blue because of physical discomfort. He needed to stop thinking about Grace. With a full dose, his mind went blank. He was aware of what was going on around him, but it was as if he was watching from a different place than in his body.

The best part of Floating Blue was the way his emotions basically shut down. Gruesome images of all the things that might've happened to Grace on Dandilow II were banished from his mind.

Feeling nothing was better than absolute desolation.

Honestly, everything he was going through was Grace's fault.

She was the one who'd convinced him they could have a happily ever after. If not for her, he'd have probably taken a dangerous job as a teenager that would've killed him by the time he was in his twenties.

Instead of dying of radiation exposure, he fell in love with Grace. She talked him into safer, less-well-paying jobs. She'd even convinced him that they could have a kid and raise it with all the advantages they'd never had. She'd made him fall in love with a child before it was even conceived.

How did she expect him to live without her?

"I have some calming medications I can give you until your next dose," Healer Raltinum said. He'd tried her calming medications before, and they didn't do anything nearly as encompassing as Floating Blue.

"No," he said, closing his eyes and hoping she'd go away. The Talin's odd formality was exhausting for him.

The healer sounded an excited rattle. "Human Iris is here," she announced. "I'm glad she was able to come back so soon."

Merrick rolled his head on the pillow to see Iris coming toward him with a bright smile on her face. He could appreciate her kindness while at the same time he resented it. She wanted him to live even if Grace was gone. She was ready to fight when all he wanted to do was let go.

Talking to Iris was just as exhausting as talking to a Talin, but in a different way.

At least the Delorta she'd purchased wasn't with her. Between the two of them, he felt suffocated by hope. It was more than anyone with a healthy wish to die could stomach.

"Hi, Merrick," she said, hopping up so she could sit on the side of his bed. "I've got great news. We're almost to Tensil station. From there we can jump to Hormink waypoint, and then it's only a day of travel to Dandilow II."

He jolted at the mention of Dandilow II. The name had become synonymous with dread for him. Everyone was so sure they'd find Grace there, but he knew better. Humans didn't get that lucky in this universe.

They were members of a doomed species but too stubborn to admit it.

"Thanks," he responded because she kept staring at him.

"I need to talk to you about what happens after we find Grace and the others," she said.

There was that horrible, confident hope again.

"If," he interjected. He couldn't help himself, he needed her to acknowledge that there was some doubt. He needed the smallest break in her perfect facade of hope.

"When," she countered forcefully. "When we find them, all of you have some options."

Giving up, he turned his attention to the ceiling. He'd stared at it a lot over the last few days. It didn't change, but at least it didn't try to be insufferably positive.

"Fine, what are our options?"

"All of you will be free until we hit Talin-controlled space," she started. "I know Palathum won't like it, but if you ask, she'll drop you off at a safe location of your choice outside the empire. I can even give you some credits to start a new life."

"Sounds great," he responded in an emotionless monotone. It was as if Iris was deaf and blind to his attitude because she continued as if he'd responded with enthusiasm.

"I know that might seem like the best option, but let me give you another one. The Talin Empire is large, wealthy, and safe. A bunch of my friends live on their homeworld, Talarian. They pretty much spend their days doing anything they want; it's a sweet deal. You guys could join them."

Without looking away from the ceiling, he let his tone go from emotionless to sarcastic. "If it's so awesome, why aren't you there?"

When Iris didn't answer right away, he slid his eyes to her. For the first time, she looked upset. Feeling like a total dick, he sat up and touched her shoulder.

"Hey, I'm sorry. You should probably glue my mouth shut because the only thing that comes out of it is stupidity."

That got a forced laugh out of her. "It's a legitimate question, but I don't want to answer it. It'll make the Talins look bad. I really want you guys to pick option two."

"I'm burning with curiosity," he joked. "Now you have to tell me!"

"I have to explain about the pet thing anyway," she admitted, touching the fancy collar around her neck. "Talins are really exclusive about who they let live within their empire and even more strict about their homeworld. They don't even let most Talins live there!"

"Sounds a little like the Milmorns," he commented, trying to be an active listener instead of the asshole he'd been so far.

She gave him a little nod. "They're similar, but I think the Talins are worse because their homeworld isn't crowded at all, they simply don't want to let too many of their citizens live there. Anyway, that means for us humans to be welcome there, we have to be labeled as pets."

He let that sink in for a moment before asking the next logical question. "What's the difference between pet and slave?"

"Semantics," she said with a shrug. "But the most important thing for you to understand is that, if you're with our group of Talins, then the pet thing is all for show."

Reaching up, she grasped the locking mechanism of her collar and awkwardly pressed her thumb to it. After a few seconds the collar clicked, and she pulled it off.

"I'm in control," she said, holding it up between them.

He eyed the collar thoughtfully before asking another question. "What happens if the pretense becomes real and they sell you to someone?"

He thought she might get upset. Instead, she shrugged. "It hasn't happened yet. There's an adoption program where some of the humans go to live with Talins that don't know we have agency. The adopters have to sign a very long contract, and the humans are checked on all the time. It's not full proof, but so far no one's been abused."

"That you know of," he pointed out.

Again, she shrugged off his comment. "That I know of, but we don't have control over anyone brought to Talarian by other Talins. There's already been a few groups of Talins who scoured the Old Earth system looking for colonies that didn't collapse."

"There aren't any," Merrick said, remembering how every colony went under after the Mars revolt.

"Right, but if there'd been any humans there, they wouldn't have had a choice," she continued. "They would've been captured and brought back, even if they didn't want to be. Old Earth system isn't even the only place they're looking for us. A lot of humans went to work for Orlok companies before the Talin-Orlok war. They're systematically going through Orlok companies looking for human employees."

Merrick felt his eyes get wide. "We're being hunted!"

She shook her head. "We're being collected. I haven't met most of the humans on Talarian, but even the ones brought in against their will are treated kindly, no matter how much they fight. The Talin government formed a branch to specifically look after us. It's called the Committee for Pet Welfare."

"Why the hell are we so popular as pets?" Merrick asked. "We're considered cheap labor everywhere else or, worse, pests."

"It's complicated, but Talins have this whole thing where they've basically outlawed love and affection. We humans give them a legal, socially acceptable avenue to express emotions they couldn't otherwise. You see, they have these scent glands in their cheeks and when—"

Merrick gave up. Holding up a hand to stop any further explanations, he let his body drop back down. "That sounds too weird. I can't handle any more right now."

She chuckled but didn't go away. "I never told you why I'm here with Palathum instead of on Talarian. Do you still want to know?"

"Sure," he agreed, tucking his hands under his head. "Tell me a bedtime story."

"This one fits right in with the Brothers Grimm," she said. "Mia and I were kidnapped by some Talins who wanted to trade us to Palathum for political favors."

He turned his head, surprised. "You were kidnapped by Talins when you were already owned by Talins?"

She nodded, her lips twisted in a grimace. "Even worse, it happened on a Talin space station. They faked an emergency to get everyone out of that area. Then they forced their way into our room and drugged us. When my friend Rain saw it happening, they grabbed her before she could go for help."

Pulling one of his hands from behind his head, he went to pat her knee, then stopped. He hated being touched by anyone but Grace when he was upset and didn't want to make Iris uncomfortable if she was the same. Awkwardly he dropped his hand on his belly.

"That must've been terrifying," he said.

"It was!" she agreed. "I was sure we were going to be real slaves. I imagined all the ways we could end up dead in less than a year. All I could think was that Mia hadn't even gotten a chance to really live yet and it was all over."

"Did Palathum accept the trade?" he asked, captured by her story despite himself. "Is that why you're on Progress instead of Talarian?"

"No, she'd never steal something," Iris said. "I wanted to steal you, but Palathum insisted that we deal with Damascus because he owned you."

They were going to steal him? He wasn't sure how he felt about that. On one hand it was nice to know he was wanted, but on the other, he trusted Damascus. The Talin had saved his life, even if Merrick hadn't wanted him to. It was a kindness he couldn't overlook in a universe that was rarely kind. He still wasn't sure about everyone else.

"When Palathum realized we'd been stolen, she kicked their asses," Iris said with glee. "Even though it meant she wouldn't get us, she went on the attack. She killed them to protect us and was ready to turn herself in as a co-conspirator after we were safe."

"She turned herself in?" he asked. "That's not right, she didn't know."

"No, she didn't. Mia was too young to explain anything, but Rain and I said she rescued us. The men were all dead so they couldn't counter our testimony. Palathum went along with it."

"That still doesn't explain why you're here," he pointed out. "Palathum returned you."

"But she offered to let Mia and I come with her," Iris said. "She was ready to put the two of us first in any situation. Mia is everything to me, and Palathum has the power and will to keep her safe no matter what else might happen. She's even willing to break Talin laws for us."

"Secretly break them," he pointed out.

"She'd openly break them if she had to," Iris stated with enough confidence to convince Merrick. "If it came down to it, she'd leave the empire and never come back to keep us happy. That kind of loyalty and love is hard to come by. It needs to be treasured when you find it."

Merrick nodded his head. "I completely agree."

If they found Grace and the others, what would their future look like? For the first time, he let himself think about it. Could their happy ending involve wearing collars?

"The universe is a strange place," Iris murmured, making him realize he hadn't spoken for a while. "I want to make a deal with you."

"Yeah?" he asked, feeling mildly suspicious.

"You stop taking the pain killers and zoning out," she said, making him startle. "Healer Raltinum thinks it's fine as long as she doesn't give you too much. But you and I know that stuff is fucking addictive."

"I need those!" he argued. "For my pain."

"No, you don't," she countered. "I know what that blue stuff does to your head. It was on Omanal, and I knew two people who got addicted. One after an accident and another because, well, for the same reason as you. If you stop asking for it, I'll make a deal with you."

He wasn't about to do that, but he was curious about her offer. "What would you trade? Some jewels to wear to my next fancy party? Nice clothes? Wealth? I'm not interested."

"If we don't find Grace, I'll let you die," she answered.

He bolted upright in bed, staring at her with wide, shocked eyes. "What?"

She crossed her arms and gave him a hard look. He'd never seen her with this expression before. Gone was the Iris who endlessly comforted him in the station's medical suite and here on the ship. That Iris was endlessly patient and gentle. This Iris was completely different. She couldn't be intimidated or threatened. This was a woman who'd possibly killed in the past and would do it again if provoked.

"You heard me. If we don't find Grace, I'll help you die."

"But you're all about hope and being positive," he sputtered.

"I'm also practical," she responded. "I've been thinking about it a lot. If you ask to be dropped off at some station, you'll find a way to get yourself killed, and it'll probably be long and ugly, like what was happening to you on Bathma. I'll make it quick and painless."

He gaped at her. It was one thing to let the slave market kill him, but it felt very different to have someone blatantly offer to end your life.

But that was what he wanted, wasn't it?

"I, uh…okay?"

Her expression didn't change with his acceptance of her offer. She stuck out her hand. "Shake on it."

Numbly, he shook her hand. Suddenly he didn't want to die. At least not right now. "You're not killing me soon, right?"

"Not until we find out about Grace," she reminded him.

Relief made his shoulders slump. Why did he suddenly have the urge to live after being hell bent on dying for so long?

"It's easier to fight for life when you have an opponent," she murmured, hopping off his bed. "I'm going to tell Healer Raltinum to only give you the other medications. If you ask for the blue shit, I'll find out."

He thought there might be an implied threat in those words. "I won't," he assured her.

With a last hard look, she walked to the healer's small office. Flopping back against a mountain of soft pillows, he breathed out a long sigh. If Iris ever took a romantic partner among the Talins, they better be prepared for a human to have hidden claws!