33. Pinocchio

CHAPTER 33

PINOCCHIO

" F or fuck's sake! Someone take care of the incoming souls!" I shout at the demons standing around staring at each other. Hades sent a handful to help with intake now that Midas is off galivanting through the worlds, but they've been nothing but useless. Fucking demons.

As if to prove just how useless they are, one of the demons looks over at the souls splashing into the River Styx and steps in after them. He immediately keels over and returns to the river. The others take a step back in fear.

"Fuck," I growl, giving up entirely. The souls aren't my largest priority anyway. The worst they can do is muddy the waters of the river. If they get a little feisty, they'll start grabbing the living that wander too close, but there's too much going on to worry about that. Everyone should know better by now, unless they're newcomers.

Of which there seems to be an endless supply.

I have no idea how Midas does this shit. I can't manage the intake of people, souls, and also handle any uprisings. Under is in literal chaos right now because I'm trying to balance two jobs and Hades can't be bothered to do anything but sit in his throne room and moan about being lonely.

I lie a little. Hades had come out briefly to access the chaos, declared that everyone needs to do better, and then disappeared again. I swear he doesn't actually care what happens to Under as long as he can get his dick wet at some point. The asshole probably never wanted to be in charge of the Underworld to begin with.

"Stop, stop, stop!" I yell at the group of people swarming through the portal doors. "You have to check in! Don't wander off. If you do, I'm going to sick the hellhounds on you assholes."

One of the ladies scoffs in offense and I shake my head. I'm trying my best to gather the information I need for each person who comes in, but I know I'm doing a shit job. Midas can't really blame me when he comes back. This is too much. I can't do two jobs. We can all barely do one though I suspect Midas has gotten the short end of the stick. When does the guy even sleep? Does this flow ever stop?

The entrants are starting to build up around me and too many of them are impatient.

"Come on!" someone shouts.

"Just let us in!" another adds.

"Shut up or I'll send you all back where you came from," I growl at them. To the little man with goat horns in front of me, I ask, "name and origin world?"

He makes a guttural sound I can't understand for his name and then says, "the world that is not a world."

I stare at him. "And which world is that?"

He blinks at me. "The world that is not a world."

"We want in!"

"Hurry up!"

"Let us go!"

"Shut up!" I snarl and a few of them take a step back. Shaking my head, I write down what the man says and send him on his way, but I can't keep up. The moment I make any headway, the numbers double and I'm starting over again. When I'm surrounded by a crowd of people shouting at me, I throw the clipboard at them. "Fine!" I shout. "Just get out of here. Those breaking the rules of Under will be executed on sight since you don't exist!"

Most of the crowd immediately rushes past me. I'm sure that's going to be a problem, but I can't be bothered to care at the moment. Fuck this job and fuck Midas for getting sucked through a merge. This is bullshit.

A single woman stands in front of me watching when everyone leaves. Her eyes are like a sunrise, burst with the same colors. She's wearing a bright red sparkly dress and the daintiest pair of wings peek from behind her back.

"Don't you want to write our names down?" she asks in a voice that sounds bigger than she actually is.

I wave her away. "I'm done. This isn't my job. Just don't get in trouble and you won't have to see me again."

She smiles wickedly. "Well, alright. If you insist." And then she struts into Under.

My instincts begin to scream at me that I've made a mistake, that I shouldn't have let so many undocumented creatures into Under. We have the process for a reason. There are specific creatures not allowed in Under, but I never ever checked any of them against the list.

"Not my job," I growl to myself. "Not my problem."

And then I leave the gates open. Because why not?

Midas can deal with the issue when he gets back.