Chapter 4 Lottie

Chapter 4

Lottie

"He sounds like a dick," Olivia said as she shoveled another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

"I don't think he's a dick," I told her. "I just think he's … standoffish."

"That's the polite way to call someone a dick." Maggie gave me a sympathetic look. Olivia reached over to clink her spoon with Maggie's.

After first breaking down the Cougars win from earlier in the day, both Olivia and Maggie began to grill me on my first day with the Bobcats. I recounted my interaction with Nolan and how I had felt like he was testing me throughout the entire day. Even after practice, Nolan waved me off when I told him it was best if he came in for treatment. He had mumbled something about how he never came in for treatment after practices.

It took everything I had in me not to explode on him on our first day together. I had worked my tail off to be deserving of the accolades and the respect people gave me when it came to my craft, but not Nolan. It didn't matter to him that I had perfected Nate Rousch's therapy regimen to get him back on the ice three months sooner than anyone had predicted. Nolan Hill didn't care about any of that. He was only concerned with everything going according to his plan this season, and I was clearly not a part of his plan.

"No matter what we call him doesn't change that I think I'm in for a long season. He's fighting me on everything and if I don't figure something out with him soon, the coaches will be breathing down my neck asking why Nolan isn't performing well."

"How are you going to handle him?" Maggie asked.

I had spent all evening trying to come up with a plan to win over Nolan Hill, but I had come up empty-handed every time until I realized I didn't need to win him over. I only needed to promise him his deepest desire—going out on top. "I'm going to exploit the one thing he wants more in this world than anything—to win. If I can figure out a way to equate what I can do for him to results on the field, I think I'm in business."

"You better not let him take up all your free time. You promised that you'd start prioritizing yourself more." Olivia leveled me with a look that could have stopped one of the Bobcats' three-hundred-pound linemen dead in their tracks.

"I know."

"Let's get some accountability for those words." Olivia jumped up from my couch and ran off toward the kitchen. I watched her rustle around in different drawers until she came running back toward the couch with a piece of paper and a pen. "We're making a bucket list."

"I didn't think you were serious about that," I told her.

Olivia ignored me and numbered the piece of paper with a one. "What's our first item?"

"I think you should put yourself out there again and try dating. You may even find your person," Maggie chimed in.

I opened my mouth to protest, but it was too late—Olivia was already writing it down.

"What did you write next to that?" I asked as I moved to get a better view. "Olivia! No!"

Olivia had written GET SOME ACTION in big letters next to the first item on the list. I grabbed the pen from her hand and crossed it out.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You are no fun."

"What's next?" Maggie asked, trying to help calm the situation between the two of us.

"Well, if we're talking about my love life …" I trailed off for a moment as I let myself dream about something other than my career for once. "I've always watched couples in love kiss on New Year's Eve. I suppose that goes together with dating. I just hope that I am with someone at that point."

"I'm so excited." Maggie bounced up and down from her spot on the couch. "This is so going to be the year for love."

Maggie had always been ever the romantic since I first got to know her when she and Olivia joined the Cougars. After she started dating Tommy last year, she had become downright insufferable. I honestly wondered if those two would ever move out of the honeymoon phase. But judging by the way she sighed dreamily every time her phone chimed, I was guessing that wouldn't be happening anytime soon.

"I also want to have a real Thanksgiving this year. Without any arguments and with a homemade turkey."

Olivia's eyes softened at my next one. She understood the desire to have something as simple as every person I love sitting down at a table together full of gratitude. We grew up in a household where we were lucky if our parents withheld having a fight until after dinner. For the two of us, we just considered Thanksgiving an extra-long weekend off school. When I got older, I would spend the few dollars I earned at my job at our local grocery store on a pumpkin pie for Olivia and me to share behind our closed bedroom door.

As soon as I allowed myself to speak that kind of longing into existence, it was like the floodgates had opened and all the things I wanted to do to heal the pieces of myself that were broken at such a young age came rushing out.

"I want to wear matching pajamas on Christmas morning." Olivia groaned at that one, but she didn't hesitate to write it down.

My desire to work had started at a young age. It was never because I was ambitious to make something of myself. At least, not at first. It started as just a way to get out of the house. Then work became a way for me to try and prove to my parents that I could do something with myself in the hopes that I would then get their attention. Eventually, working just became the only thing I knew how to do.

I knew I was worthy of so much more.

I rattled off a few other things to Olivia before I came to a stalemate with all my desires written down in her neat scrawl.

"I have one more thing," Olivia told me as she started to write down the final item. "Have a day where you say yes to everything."

"A ‘yes' day?" I asked.

"I think that's a fantastic idea," Maggie exclaimed. "You spend so much time saying no to things because of work. It's time you get to say yes."

The three of us admired our handiwork before Olivia took the list over to my fridge. She placed it front and center with a magnet where I would see it every day.

"If we weren't playing on Sunday, I would be begging for tickets to the Bobcats' first game," Maggie said as she finished off her pint of ice cream.

"You better be getting us some sideline passes for the first time we get to come." Olivia pointed her spoon at me as she sat back down on the couch. I was tempted to take it away before she tried to wield it like a weapon.

"Only if you get me tickets if the Cougars make it to the playoffs."

"Deal!" Maggie exclaimed. Olivia raised an eyebrow questioningly at her. "What? I like watching Derek Allen play. He's nice to look at."

"You have someone nice to look at at home every day," I reminded her.

"Doesn't mean I can't appreciate God's work on that fine specimen of a man."

Olivia burst out laughing. "You must have a thing for ladies' men. I heard Derek loves to get around."

"People can change." Maggie stared down at her phone lovingly as she read the newest text from her boyfriend. That man was wrapped so tightly around Maggie's finger that it was a miracle she didn't lose circulation.

"Derek's nice," I told them with a shrug. "A bit hyper at times, but I think he means well."

After Nolan had brushed me off for treatment after practice, Derek immediately followed me back into the training room with another endless stream of questions.

"Did you like practice?" Yes, you guys look very solid this year.

"I don't think I asked you. Do you have any siblings?" A younger sister.

"Is she in town?" She works for the Cougars.

"Holy shit. You two make a formidable pair. Is she single?" Over my dead body, Allen.

I pretended like I didn't catch the look that Hawthorn and Derek exchanged when Nolan walked right past the training room. Or the way Derek's ramblings seemed to kick into overdrive, as if he was trying to distract me from the fact that Nolan Hill was actively avoiding me. No matter the reason for it, I appreciated Derek's efforts.

"Maggie, you're a genius!" Olivia's squeal of excitement brought me back to reality.

"Wait, what?" I asked.

"We're going to set you up a dating profile," Maggie explained. "What better way to start on your first item on your bucket list?"

I was being serious when I told them that I wanted to go on dates. I had dated plenty of people through college and after, but many of them never made it to a third date. By the end of the second date, it often became painfully obvious whether we were compatible or not. I'd never particularly liked the game that was dating in your twenties, but if I wanted a shot at more than sweaty athletes and working far after the sun had set, I needed to play the game.

"What do you think about these photos?" Olivia asked as she shoved my phone back in front of my face.

As Olivia swiped through the photos, I cringed at how plain they made me look. All six photos looked like they could have been my professional headshot on the Bobcats staff page.

"I looked through everything and these are the best I could find." Olivia gave me a small shrug, as if to say sorry, you're kind of boring and this is the best I could do .

Those six photos were enough to prove anyone that called me a workaholic right. There were no photos from a vacation. Very few with friends out having drinks. None with family besides Olivia. But I was actively making the decision to change that for myself starting today.

"I guess it'll do." I sighed.

"We can take some new photos and wait to put up your profile, if you'd like?" That was why I loved my little sister. She was the first person to jump off the cliff, but she at least made sure I was prepared and comfortable before I jumped off the cliff with her.

"No, that's okay. Might as well not be something I'm not. There's enough catfishing on those apps already, best not add to it."

"Well, we can at least work on these questions they'll put on your profile." Maggie snuggled in closer to Olivia on the couch to peer at the phone in her hands. "Let's do this one! What's the best way to ask you out?"

Judging by the panic that entered my body at the question, I was more out of practice with dating than I thought.

Just keep it simple.

"Probably if someone asked me to dinner or drinks at least two days in advance, confirmed it the morning of, then showed up on time." The way Olivia and Maggie looked at me with wide eyes, I guessed that my response was rather clinical.

"Okay …" Olivia drew out as she typed my response into my profile.

"What is a simple pleasure of yours?" Olivia continued through the questions.

"Quiet Sunday mornings drinking coffee on my balcony."

"What's your love language?" Maggie asked.

"Words of affirmation."

"A praise kink," Maggie replied. "I like it."

"Do not put that on there!" I exclaimed.

"What would make you fall hard?"

This question made me pause. What would make me fall hard? It wasn't someone who checked all my boxes in the typical sense. That hadn't worked out for me thus far. I needed someone I didn't expect. Someone who pushed me and made me a better person. Someone who challenged me.

"I think I would fall the hardest for someone who just allowed me to be me at my very core. Which includes all my messiness, all my nerdiness, and all the pieces of myself that I must hide from the world out of fear I'd be judged. I think if you find someone like that, you've found your slice of peace in this life."

Olivia typed away madly on my phone before she showed me her final reveal. Although I may not have the most exciting life in the world, those answers were enough for me to feel like I was at least staying true to myself.

I had landed the job of my dreams. Now it was time I landed the life of my dreams.