Chapter 1 Lottie

Chapter 1

Lottie

I was about ten seconds away from downing my third glass of champagne of the evening. The buzz from the alcohol was the only thing keeping me from wielding the salad fork in front of me against yet another man who had managed to corner me at my table. Weddings were already one of my least favorite experiences—seeing as I was one of the last of my old friend group to still be single and I was getting further from thirty with every passing day. Pair that with men seeking me out to talk about my new job as the in-house physical therapist for the Chicago Bobcats and you have a less than enjoyable experience.

The amount of mansplaining I had to endure over the past few hours should qualify me for some kind of compensation.

"Nolan Hill should have retired after last year. There's no way he will be able to lead this team with the injuries he has at the caliber the league has gotten to," the man—Todd, I think—told me, as if I hadn't pored over the medical files of every player on the team this past week and wasn't likely to be more familiar with the quarterback's ailments than him. "He's keeping the rookie they just drafted from getting some experience under his belt."

My head moved up and down involuntarily as my body slipped into cruise control. It was a habit I had to learn early on in my career whenever I found myself being talked down to by someone who had way less authority on the subject than me. The last thing I wanted to experience today was someone named Todd trying to school me on the very thing I'd spent years surrounded by, so it was better to just let him get his opinions off his chest.

"It's selfish to stick around for another year just to try and go out on a high note. The odds of him winning a third Super Bowl at the pace he went last year are slim." Todd's high school football state championship ring flashed on his finger and had me fighting the urge to roll my eyes. "He's more likely to set the record for most sacks in a season if we have another repeat of last year."

I could easily tell him how the NFL was full of the best medical professionals in the world—which now included myself—but I knew that would only open me up to more uneducated responses and skepticism. I could tell him that Nolan Hill had one of the quickest reaction times from snap of the ball to release of his throw ever recorded in league history. Or I could tell him that, of course, the Bobcats would stick with their two-time Super Bowl quarterback—even if he'd been plagued with injuries late in his career. But everyone's an expert when it comes to professional sports.

My hand inched closer to the fork on the table in front of me, but the sound of a high-pitched voice had me snatching my hand back into my lap. A sigh escaped through my lips. That voice wasn't the saving grace I had been hoping for. That voice symbolized me jumping from one boiling pot of water into another.

"Charlotte! I had no idea you'd be here." Vera Busch, who was one of the most popular girls at my high school growing up, approached me with a saccharine smile on her face. Todd took one look at the woman in the high-end red dress that looked like it had come straight from The Stepford Wives and bolted.

Okay, Todd. You talk a big game until the real enemy appears. Not so tough now, are you?

"Hi, Vera. You know I wouldn't miss Heather's wedding," I told her with my best fake smile. My jaw clenched tightly as Vera gave me air kisses on both cheeks, as if we hadn't grown up in a small farm town with one gas station and a pizza joint that was only open after Friday night football games.

"Well, it's wonderful that you still make time for all of us, seeing as you've been so busy with your work." Vera's smile was nearly sinister as she watched me eagerly for any reaction to her words. But the last thing I'd do was fold in front of Vera Busch. That would be like giving the last Infinity Stone to Thanos.

It wasn't a secret that I'd poured all of myself into my career and that level of dedication left little room for much else. Which was exactly why I was still single at the age of thirty-two and dateless at yet another one of my friend's weddings. I'd never been ashamed of the sacrifices I had to make in my life to get me to where I am. Those sacrifices landed me a job as the youngest physical therapist to join an NFL team's staff. Even having to defend myself to someone like Vera Busch wouldn't make me regret my decisions.

"Hopefully you have time for dating with the season starting," Vera added. "Our biological clocks are such an unfortunate thing."

My hand inched back toward the salad fork as I tried to keep the smile on my face.

"You know, I believe Bobby is still single. You remember Bobby, right?" It looked like Vera was clearly getting some sort of sick enjoyment from making my singleness the main topic of conversation. "He's right over at the bar. I can walk you over—"

"There you are," the voice of my true savior rang out. My baby sister, Olivia Thompson, sank down in the open chair next to me with two full glasses of champagne in her hands. I gave her a grateful look as I downed the rest of the champagne in my glass before taking the new one she offered.

"Vera, you must tell me the name of the doctor that did the work on your face. I've been searching for someone who can accentuate a resting bitch face." Olivia's smile matched Vera's as she stared down the woman whose mouth was now hanging open in shock. "Careful, you'll catch flies."

Vera's mouth opened and closed like a fish as her face turned the same color as the red wine she was gripping tightly in her hand before she turned on her heel and left us at our designated table in the back of the room.

"Thank you," I whispered to my sister.

"Vera's always been a menace and I have very little patience for it anymore," Olivia replied, as if what she had done was just another day's work. "Don't listen to her. You're doing much better in life than she is. She's just jealous we got out of that sad little town and that's the best that she'll ever get."

"Maybe," I replied as the groom got up to give his speech to Heather.

Was I really doing much better than Vera Busch?

It wasn't the first time I had questioned where I was in life and probably wouldn't be the last. It first started when I got the call that I'd gotten the job with the Chicago Bobcats. I had been bursting with excitement. All my hard work had paid off over the past year. I had climbed the ladder and made all the right connections to land this job. Except when I hung up the phone, the excitement quickly died off when I realized I had no one to celebrate with. I had climbed the mountain and ended up with no one to share the view with once I'd reached the top.

That feeling had only intensified as I caught up with my friends during the cocktail hour before the reception. There was another engagement, a pregnancy, and the celebration of their kid's first steps. When it was my turn to share my life update, all I could give them was the news of my new job. While there was excitement, I couldn't help but notice the looks full of pity on everyone's faces. As if a single, thirty-something woman was the saddest thing they had ever seen.

I'd always been proud of my independence and success. I was the most sought-after sports physical therapist in the Midwest because of the success of my private practice. I had some of the best athletes in the world coming to me for treatment. I had never cared about my lack of a dating life before, but recently it felt like all I could notice was how I hated going home at night to an empty apartment. Or how when I would take myself out to eat and tell the hostess I was dining for one, they gave me a look that made me want to turn around and walk right back out.

None of those things had ever bothered me before.

But as I watched Heather's new husband look at her like she hung the moon, I felt something I hadn't ever before—longing. I had never prioritized dating in my life because I hadn't exactly had the best example of a healthy relationship growing up with parents that argued with each other more than they cared about parenting their children.

A hand covered mine and gave it a small squeeze. "Are you okay?" Olivia looked at me with concern.

Neither of the Thompson sisters had been known for their romantic relationships. While I had never given dating much importance, Olivia looked at it as a source of entertainment. Romance had never been in our vocabulary after watching the destruction of our parents' relationship and how that had affected us as kids. Which was exactly why Olivia was looking at me like I potentially needed medical attention.

"Yeah," I whispered back to her. "I'm okay."

"I'm honestly disappointed I took tonight off for this stupid wedding. Let's bail after the first dance," Olivia suggested as the first chords of our friend's dance pumped through the DJ's speakers. "We can go to our favorite spot in the city and celebrate before you start tomorrow. Then there will officially be two Thompson sisters in Chicago professional sports."

That ache of longing in my chest grew as I watched the way the newlywed couple danced in a room full of people as if they were the only two there. They were so attuned to each other, they moved as one around the dance floor. The groom leaned down to whisper in Heather's ear, telling her something that had her throwing her head back with joyous laughter.

I wonder how it would feel to have someone know exactly how to make you laugh.

The closest I'd ever gotten to that kind of joy was through my job—between the relationships I built with my athletes and the joy I had when I nailed someone's recovery to give them the chance of returning to what they love to do. All of it was fulfilling, but I was certain it was nothing compared to being known completely by someone else.

Maybe now that I'd achieved my dreams there was finally time for me to focus on something besides a career. Maybe there was more out there than the next achievement I could list at the bottom of my resume. Maybe there was a different kind of achievement I could strive for—like filling my life with memories that I could look back on fondly with someone when we were old and grey.

I might have achieved things in my life that were tremendous, but there were plenty of things I had yet to do that I had never given much importance to before. I didn't want to wonder what those experiences were like anymore.

Olivia and I snuck out of the reception once we got to speak with Heather and the dance floor filled up. Neither of us really enjoyed being around the people of our past. It reminded us too much of raised voices, doors slamming, and pretending that everything was fine to all the people in that very room.

I tossed the keys to Olivia as we approached the car. Her ability to endure the people at the party without the need to drink more than one glass of champagne was far greater than mine. The two of us sang at the top of our lungs to all our favorite songs as we drove back into the city and toward our favorite place. The lights on Lake Shore Drive passed overhead as we circled around the city to the north side. The parking lot was empty when we pulled in. The sun had long set and anyone that had been enjoying the last few days of good weather in Chicago was gone.

We made our way down to the beach off 12th Street hand in hand with our heels dangling from our fingers. Before either of us could sink down onto the sand, we turned together to look at the massive stadium that sat looming over Lake Michigan—Gateway Stadium, the home of the Chicago Bobcats and the place I'd be spending many of my weekends this year. While the team's practice building was on the south side of the city, the stadium was positioned proudly as part of the skyline.

"Are you excited?" Olivia's voice brought me back from my spinning thoughts.

"I am." I gave her hand a squeeze.

"I'm not sure I can give you advice. Football's quite different from baseball." Olivia worked for the Chicago Cougars, the city's professional baseball team, and was at the end of her fourth season with the team. She had a huge hand in inserting the Cougars' marketing into pop culture moments. This season the team was positioned to make it to the playoffs and potentially make a run at the World Series.

Olivia approached her job with a more carefree attitude than I did, like going out with the team during the off-season or even helping our friend, Maggie Redford, fall in love with the team's shortstop, Tommy Mikals. All things I considered distractions.

I was sure that any advice that she could give me would be far from anything I would find useful.

"You're probably right," I agreed as the two of us devolved into a fit of laughter.

"Maybe don't fall in love with anyone. I mean, it ended up good for Maggie, but man—the drama."

"I don't think that will ever apply to me, but thanks for the sentiment. I already get enough scrutiny being a woman in this industry. There's no need to bring any more attention to myself."

"I think you're about to go on the ride of a lifetime," she told me absentmindedly as she continued to look up at the modern lines of the stadium.

"Maybe."

"You don't think so?" Olivia's brows pinched together as she looked over at me as if the four glasses of champagne I'd consumed at the wedding were affecting my head. "This is rumored to be Nolan Hill's last season. At the very least, I'm sure you'll be around a media frenzy."

"Maybe."

"Okay, what are you thinking in that big, beautiful head of yours?" Olivia leveled me with a look.

"I've just been wondering if I'm missing something lately," I admitted to her quietly once I finally tore my eyes away from the stadium and turned around to study where the lake blended in with the night sky.

"Like what?" Olivia sank down in the sand and I followed suit.

"I wonder if I've missed out on life and it's too late. Sometimes I feel like I focused too much on a career that will never matter when it comes to the end of my life, and I haven't invested any time into making moments that I'll look back on to prove that I really lived ."

"It's never too late," my sister replied fiercely. It was easy for her to say. She had always been the more free-spirited of the two of us. "What do you want to do? Bungee jump? Go to a new country? Karaoke? Eat at a five-star restaurant?"

Leave it to Olivia to immediately dive into an idea without questioning it at all. She has always had one of the biggest hearts.

"I'm not sure. I need to think about it," I admitted. All I knew was that something was missing.

"We'll make a bucket list, and we'll make sure you check every last bit of it off." Olivia laced our hands together as the two of us watched the dark water lap against the shore. "You deserve to be happy, Lottie. And happiness is more important than a good career, no matter what Mom and Dad thought."

It was odd for the roles to be reversed, with Olivia telling me what it was that I needed and deserved. I had always played that role for her as I filled in for our parents. "Do you ever miss them?"

"Our parents?" Olivia looked at me as if I really was having a medical episode. "Our mother died five years ago, and our father has been absent from our lives since the divorce. Neither of them deserves to be missed. Those two fucked us up."

"They didn't fuck us up," I argued. "We've made it just fine on our own."

"Neither of us has ever had healthy long-term relationships and have never actually celebrated a holiday." My sister looked at me as if she were daring me to prove her otherwise.

Maybe now that I didn't have work to distract me, I realized that I just missed the idea of what my parents were supposed to be—a family.

A moment later, the lights in the stadium turned on and threw long shadows across the beach. I glanced over my shoulder and wondered who could possibly be there this late at night.