Chapter 43

CHAPTER 43

HANNA

“My queen,” Raila says, appearing in the doorway to the solar room where I’m sitting by the massive windows and savoring the last of my morning coffee in the sunlight. “There’s someone approaching the castle.”

I twist to face her, suddenly alert. The snowbird chirps in alarm from its perch in the corner of the room.

“Who? Where is Tuoni?”

“He’s already gone to meet them. I came to inform you.”

I slurp back the precious dregs and place the cup down before rising, a flutter of panic in my chest. It’s been a few weeks now since we claimed back Tuonela and it’s been quiet, if not busy as we rebuild, all threats seemingly eradicated. And yet, I’m still as jumpy as ever.

“Well, do you know who it is?” I ask.

She dips her chin beneath her veil. “Your father said it’s the disgraced shaman, Ilmarinen.”

What the hell?

“Thank you, Raila.”

I gather up the ends of my burgundy dress and hurry out of the room, the snowbird flying behind me. Ever since it returned to Shadow’s End in the middle of the night, it’s been following me and Tuoni everywhere. I don’t really speak bird, despite my nickname, but I have the distinct impression that when my husband sent it to find his sister, Ilmatar, that the bird ended up staying with her until the coast was clear and Tuonela was back in order. Can’t say I blame the thing. At least it’s not attacking Tuoni like it used to do, as funny as it was.

Damn this castle is big , I think to myself, descending staircase after staircase as I race to the bottom. Sometimes when I’m truly lazy, I find Sarvi and ask the unicorn to fly me down, broken horn and all. What good is being a queen if you can’t have a flying unicorn transport you from time to time?

Finally, I burst out of the giant main doors and cross the drawbridge to see Tuoni, Sarvi, my father, and Rasmus gathered on the road around the other shaman. Ilmarinen looks worse for wear and staggers toward the castle, my father and Rasmus holding him up.

“What’s going on?” I ask as they approach. I look at Ilmarinen. “Where the hell did you go and what the hell are you doing here?”

“He was off being a coward,” Rasmus says snidely. “He’s been hiding all around Tuonela while the war raged on, too afraid to show himself.”

“I’m sorry,” Ilmarinen says weakly. “I just couldn’t do it. I don’t have your strength. She took it all from me.”

I look over his head at my husband standing behind him. He’s wearing one of his skull masks for the first time in ages, probably to intimidate the shaman. “He’s begged us for forgiveness,” Tuoni says. “What do you think, my queen?”

I look into Ilmarinen’s pleading eyes. They seem so broken by the world that I can’t help but give in a little. “Well, I think he was corrupted and tortured by Louhi for so long that perhaps we can be a little lenient?”

Rasmus scoffs, enough to draw a glare from me. “What? You’re one to talk,” I say to my half-brother. “You deserve forgiveness for being a rat-bastard and yet he doesn’t? You were both corrupted by the same demon.”

“Hey,” my father chides, offended by my choice of words.

“Rat-bastard is a figure of speech,” I assure him. Though, I mean, my father has been kind of rat at times. Rasmus, me, and even Salainen is proof of that. He’s a man with as many faults as me, but I still love him anyway.

Rasmus grumbles but says nothing more. Ever since he’s been brought back from the dead, he’s found a way to annoy me at every turn. I suppose that’s what brothers are good for. Since I grew up without any siblings, I can only guess, though I have to admit I do like having him around. It makes our family seem bigger. Also, he lives with my father in the farthest wing of Shadow’s End, so if either of them get on my nerves, they’re easy to avoid.

I look at my husband. “I say we take Ilmarinen into the fold. But he can work for us and earn our trust.”

Tuoni grins, always ready to dole out some form of punishment. He’s been looking for new help ever since the troops went back to the Upper World through the portal. Only General Pekka stayed behind. The fact that he died and came back had broken through Tuoni’s mental hold on him. And when General Pekka realized everything that had happened, the truth about us and the underworld, he decided he wanted to stay. He now does odd jobs that Tuoni sends him on, including going through the portal to procure the God’s various addictions from the Upper World, though I think in the future he will become an advisor, just like Kalma.

“The queen has spoken,” my husband says and I step out of the way as they lead Ilmarinen toward the moat.

“Hey!” I yell after them. “If you see Lovia, tell her I need a rematch!”

Will do, Sarvi says, hooves echoing on the drawbridge as they all disappear into the castle. She’ll be eager to watch you lose again.

I can’t help but laugh. Lovia and I have kept on our training. We might not have any enemies to fight anymore, but sparring is good exercise. Sometimes Tuonen joins in, besting us both. The two of them have a lot of time now to do what they want, now that the River of Shadows has an ice bridge across it, connecting Death’s Landing to the Frozen Void. It’s not the most welcoming spot for the newly dead, but the Keskelli trolls have taken it upon themselves to be something akin to both a toll booth operator (a troll booth operator?) and a welcome wagon, the five of them taking shifts.

I know that both siblings have their sights set on going to the Upper World, though they promise to return to Tuonela one day. Lovia still wants to explore the world like a tourist and have various affairs (she says it will take a lot of guys to make her forget what sleeping with the universe was like, and to which I say, good luck with that), and Tuonen has some mysterious rendezvous with someone at some point in time. Whenever I ask, he never elaborates further. Fine, I’ve said, keep your secrets. The point is, the two of them are finally free of their roles in the underworld and it’s been a joy to watch them rediscover themselves and find their agency.

I look over my shoulder at Tuonela, vast and macabre and wild, feeling the cool breeze blow back my hair and ruffle my dress. The surrounding sea is full of white caps, but I know somewhere beneath the surface Bell swims again, along with Vellamo and Ahto. Vellamo’s arm has even started to grow back, made of tiny coral that’s slowly rebuilding.

It may have only been weeks since our lives have gotten back in order, but I’ve never felt closer to the land.

Or to the heavens.

I glance up at the sun, which is unable to burn my eyes. I still have remnants of my power, able to create flames of my own doing. It’s not much—like having lighters for fingers—but I still think it’s cool in an Edward Scissorhands kind of way.

Whether my mother is watching or not, I wave at her. She’s somewhere up there in the blue sky, now with Vipunen, who has abandoned his cave to watch over things from a more distant position. Apparently he chose the caves long ago to keep an eye on the God of Death and his family, but now that everything is in its right place, he’s ascended to the next level of his Godliness.

Or my mother is holding the giant hostage. Even though she seems to be an unfeeling entity, something tells me that divine romance might be in the air. We’ll see.

I continue to look around, my eyes scanning the snow-capped mountains. Somewhere beyond the ranges, the dead live. They aren’t allowed to pass through Death’s Passage—everything from there to here is off limits. But the rest of Tuonela has been repopulated, eons worth of souls making new lives for themselves over every corner of the land. I’ve flown over the settlements a few times on Sarvi, watching as they build. It’s like observing the dawn of civilization, and it’s nothing if not humbling.

I might be the Goddess of Death, and a Goddess of Light, but I hope I never lose my sense of awe for humanity.

And that includes myself.

Later that night, I lie curled in my husband’s strong arms. We find solace in each other’s company every chance we get. You’d think we’re acting like newlyweds, bonking away like bunnies, but it’s pretty much true. This is the first time that I have felt truly united with him, in our home, in our realm.

This is the first time I feel like I truly belong to him.

And he truly belongs to me.

That’s what’s changed.

“I love you,” Tuoni murmurs as he kisses me softly on my head. “I love you, Hanna, to the void and back.”

My heart blooms within my chest, delight weaving through me. When I was in Goddess mode, in the hot springs with Tuoni, and he finally told me that he loved me, I felt it. I didn’t know it at the time, but it reached deep, breaking through my icy veneer. It found the heart and soul of me and it started to grow there. I think that’s what got through to me in the end. The seeds of love he planted grew and blossomed until finally it was bigger than the whole sky, brighter than any sun.

I think that love saved me in the end. It gave me the courage I needed to become who I was meant to become, and embrace who I truly am: messy, complicated and flawed.

And someone worth loving.

“I love you, too,” I say, gazing up at him, taking in the sight of his beautiful eyes, the silver bright against the black kohl. “Though I think you need to tell me that more, to make up for all the times I told you and you didn’t say anything. Talk about hanging me out to dry.”

“You didn’t say it that much,” he says, grumbling. “How about I show you? You know me, I’ve never been very good with words.”

So, I let him show me, since he is very good at that.

He takes me again, from behind this time, like the old days, the both of us coming quickly, our bodies forever a hair trigger. I collapse into the bed once more, catching my breath before curling up beside him.

“I can call you Death,” I whisper to him. “And now I can call you mine.”

Then I reach up and tap him on the nose. “Boop.”

He bursts out laughing and lets out a playful growl as he goes on the attack, smothering me with his body and tickling me all over.

Laughter and joy seizes through me, burning impossibly bright, and we nestle back into the covers, becoming one again.