Chapter 35

CHAPTER 35

LOVIA

Grief feels a lot like what I imagine death to feel like.

At times terrible and violent, at others slow and insidious. But in the end, a severing of something vital inside you. A door that closes, never to be reopened.

The cavern air is thick and damp, clinging to my skin like a funeral shroud. Our procession moves in solemn silence, the only sounds the crunch of boots on gravel and the distant drip of water echoing through the tunnels. My father walks ahead of me, his shoulders heavy beneath his cloak as he cradles Tuonen’s lifeless body in his arms. Each step he takes is deliberate, the weight of grief and responsibility bearing down on him.

I walk a few paces behind, the Magician and Hanna flanking me, Torben, Tellervo and Vellamo at my back. Every step feels like it echoes in my chest, reverberating against the hollow space where my brother used to be. Tuonen’s absence is a wound I can’t stop pressing, and every time I glance at my father, the sight of him holding Tuonen’s body drives the blade deeper. I thought losing Rasmus was the worst thing that ever happened to me, but I was wrong.

I was so fucking wrong.

No one speaks. The air is too heavy with loss for words. Vellamo staggers alongside the rest of us, her severed arm hastily bandaged after Rangaista’s attack with some of Tellervo’s green poultice. She doesn’t complain, doesn’t falter, but I see the strain in her jaw and the way she clutches her side for balance. Tellervo walks close to her, offering silent support, her small frame trembling with every step.

I glance at the Magician. His face is a black void, the stars faint, as if all the life has been drained from him. And yet, he’s the only one who doesn’t appear crushed by the weight of what’s happened. It should comfort me, but it doesn’t. He said that things change and perhaps this is the new path, one he didn’t see coming. It would explain why he didn’t do anything about Tapio, about Rasmus.

But if he knew about Tuonen and didn’t tell me…I can’t bear to think of it. I know the Magician has been inside me in ways I can’t even explain, making me writhe in heavenly ecstasy and bend time, but if he knew about Tuonen, I would probably kill him. Or at least attempt to. How does one kill the universe?

Hanna occasionally quickens her pace to keep step beside my father, brushing his arm. She’s trying to offer comfort, though I can’t tell if he accepts it. He hasn’t spoken since we left the cavern where Tuonen fell. His silence is more suffocating than the air down here.

The caves seem endless, a labyrinth of shadows and echoes. My torch flickers weakly, casting feeble light on the jagged walls. I’ve always hated the caves, the oppressive darkness, the feeling of being buried alive. Now, it feels even worse. Every corner, every shadow feels like it’s watching us, waiting for a moment of weakness to strike again.

We eventually reach another cave, nearly as big as the one before. There’s something strangely familiar about it and I’m about to voice this when Hanna stops and says, “I know this place. I’ve been here before.”

My father halts at the entrance, his grip on Tuonen tightening. He looks up at the empty rock face, his jaw clenched, his eyes shadowed. “Vipunen,” he calls, his voice steady but low. “We’ve come back. Show yourself. If you have had anything to do with this...” his threat trails off.

Vipunen! That’s why this place is familiar. I’ve been in here many times fighting with the giant, except I was always wearing a blind mask so I never really saw what the cave looked like. Nor Vipunen, for that matter. Apparently if we lay eyes on him, we die.

“Maybe we don’t want him to show himself,” I say to my father. “Remember?”

But it doesn’t matter. The only response is the faint rustle of air through the tunnels, then silence.

“Do you think he’s gone?” Tellervo asks softly, her voice trembling.

My father doesn’t answer. Walks forward and sets Tuonen down gently on a flat slab of stone, his movements careful, reverent. Hanna stands beside him, her face pale and drawn, but the aura around her still glowing, reminding us she’s no longer who she once was.

I have to admit, I’m actually envious of her. I would give anything to not feel what I’m feeling right now, would give anything to just have this horrible crushing weight lifted from me even for a mere second.

“I’ll scout ahead,” I say, unable to bear the stillness any longer. My legs itch to move, my mind desperate for distraction.

“No one should be alone,” the Magician says, his voice calm but firm.

I glare at him. “If you know something then say something,” I snap at him, hand on my sword. “I’m not going far.”

He doesn’t argue, but I feel his gaze follow me as I move toward the far end of the cavern. I hear my father ask, “Where is she going?” but I keep walking.

The air grows colder as I step deeper into the shadows. My torch flickers, casting distorted shapes on the walls. My heart pounds, and I tell myself it’s just the weight of everything that’s happened, not fear. Not weakness.

Then I hear it.

A whisper.

It’s faint, almost like a breeze slipping through cracks in the stone, but it carries a strange cadence, as if forming words I can’t quite understand. I freeze, my grip tightening on my sword.

“Vipunen?” I call, my voice barely above a whisper.

No answer.

The whisper comes again, softer this time, curling around my ears like smoke. It seems to beckon me, pulling me toward a narrow crevice in the rock. My pulse quickens, and despite every instinct screaming at me to turn back, I step closer.

Surely if something bad were to happen, the Magician would have said something, right?

“Vipunen?” I say again, louder this time. “Give me a warning if that’s you, I don’t want turn to stone, or whatever it is that you do.”

The whisper doesn’t respond, but it grows clearer, sharper, as if it’s leading me somewhere. I squeeze through the crevice, the stone scraping against my armor and my injured shoulder, making me wince. On the other side, the tunnel widens into a small chamber. It’s dimly lit by a faint blue glow emanating from veins in the rock.

The whisper stops.

I turn in a slow circle, my sword and lantern raised, searching for the source of the sound. The chamber is empty, but the air feels wrong, heavy with a presence I can’t see. My breath fogs in the chill, and I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

“Vipunen, if this is one of your riddles, I’m not in the mood,” I say, my voice echoing off the walls.

A low chuckle answers me.

My blood runs cold.

“Not Vipunen,” a familiar voice says, smooth and icy.

I whirl around, but I already know who it is.

She steps out of the shadows, her pale green, ageless face looking extra sickly in the blue light. Her giant rams horns curl back from her knobby forehead like black sentinels, and her eyes gleam with triumph as her leathery wings tuck in behind her tall form. She looks almost ethereal, like a nightmare made flesh.

“Louhi,” I breathe, my voice tight with hatred.

“My daughter,” she says, her tone dripping with mockery. “You’ve grown strong. Just like I hoped you would.”

I grip my sword tighter, every muscle in my body tensing. “Stay back.”

She tilts her head, her expression unreadable. “Is that any way to greet your mother? After all, I’ve come such a long way to see you.”

“You’re no mother of mine,” I snap, stepping back toward the crevice. “And I’m not going anywhere with you.”

Louhi moves faster than I expect, her hand shooting out to grab my wrist. Her strength is inhuman, her grip like iron. I try to pull away, but she holds me fast.

“You’ve been running from your destiny long enough,” she says, her voice a venomous whisper. “It’s time you embraced what you were born to be.”

“I’d rather die,” I hiss, twisting in her grasp.

“So dramatic, just like your father,” Louhi smirks, her eyes flashing with cruel amusement. “My dear, you have no idea what’s in store for you. But don’t worry—I’ll make sure you understand. In time.”

Before I can react, shadows rise from the ground, coiling around my legs and arms. They move like living things, cold and unyielding, pinning me in place. I struggle, panic surging through me, but the shadows only tighten their grip.

“Let me go!” I shout, my voice echoing through the chamber, my sword and lantern crashing to the ground.

Louhi leans in, her face inches from mine. “Don’t fight it, Loviatar. This is your destiny.”

The shadows drag me backward, their cold tendrils pulling me deeper into the chamber. Louhi follows, her laughter echoing around me like a chilling melody.

“Help!” I scream, my voice raw. “Someone, help me!”

But the shadows swallow my cries, and the last thing I see before the darkness claims me is my mother’s triumphant smile.