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Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

DEATH

The redheaded bastard is gone.

One moment we were trudging forward over the serpentine ridges that make up the Iron Mountains, heads down against the wind and snow, the next Lovia was running up, pushing through the line of troops with tears streaming down her face, her shoulder bleeding, to tell me that Rasmus had died.

At first I didn’t know what to feel. Rasmus has always been a wily nuisance, a thorn in my side. He stole Hanna away from me and tried to corrupt her in the name of Louhi. He was a shifty shaman apprentice who couldn’t be trusted as far as I could throw him (though I could throw him very fucking far).

But when Lovia told me what happened, that Rasmus had risked his life to save hers, then I realized that perhaps I was wrong about him. Perhaps he had deserved more of my trust. It was apparent that in the end, it wasn’t his own survival that was the most important thing to him, it was my daughter’s. It was all of us. He wasn’t as selfish as he pretended and proved himself worthy too late.

Torben, of course, took the news the hardest. The poor man. Rasmus had always been like a son to him because he was his son. He was his flesh and blood, as well as his student in the magical arts, and while their relationship was complicated ever since Louhi entered the fray and fucked things up, as the she-devil does, I could tell he loved him greatly. I got to know the old shaman against my will as we were stuck in the Upper World and while he’s certainly made more mistakes than the average mortal, he carries them inside him.

But for now, we all carry on. We have to.

We continued down the mountain, Lovia and Torben leaning on each other in their sorrow, the path narrow and fraught with dangers. Loose scree and falling rocks sent a couple of soldiers falling to their deaths, and around every corner we imagined the Old God that killed Rasmus to rise up again.

Eventually, we made our way down to the alpine forest that follows the base of the mountains, until finally we reached our destination at the edge of the shadowy trees.

“The Mountain Lair,” I announce to the party, poised beneath a sheer rock face. I meet their gazes, expecting at least one of them to laugh, since Hanna thought it was hilarious that I called my secret caves this name.

But everyone just looks at me expectantly, even Hanna, who, in her Goddess state of mind, doesn’t find anything humorous. This is what hurts me most of all about her loss of self. The Hanna that I know and love is the funniest person I’ve ever met, even though she doesn’t know that herself. Her quick banter, her pithy remarks, playful comments, and sarcastic snorts—those are some of the things I love most about her. Without her sense of humor, she’s beautiful but blank, missing something vital, something I never knew how important it was until it was gone.

Perhaps you should have told your wife that when you had the chance , I chide myself. Maybe you should tell her that anyway.

Gods, what happens if she never returns to me? The thought strikes horror in my battered heart. I swore I would never leave her side, even if she remains stately and cool (in her brief moments of clarity, she kept comparing her other self to some Doctor Manhattan, yet another—potentially nerdy—pop culture reference I don’t understand), and I plan to uphold that promise. But it would certainly lead to an emptier, colder and boring life without the real Hanna by my side.

I push the thoughts away—the garrison still staring at me, waiting for something—and look back to the steep rock face. Normally I have a key to unlock the magic veil and make my lair visible, but who the hell knows where that is at this point.

I have to dig in deep, see if I can remember any of the magic the Book of Runes has taught me over the years. For a moment I feel a spear of panic at the idea of Louhi corrupting it, but at this point, I doubt that would change anything.

“Lord Death?” General Suvari asks, clearing his throat. “Are you alright? You’re standing there, staring at nothing.”

“Just a minute,” I grumble, raising my hand to tell them to be patient. Since when did the General learn to talk back like that?

I close my eyes and concentrate, trying to remember some line or stanza.

Then Hanna puts her hand on my shoulder.

“I remember this place,” she says in her calm, quiet voice. “Allow me.”

As I open my eyes to look at her, suddenly the world erupts in bright white, the source coming from her open palm. I squint but the light fades quickly, revealing the true nature of the mountain side when it’s gone.

The steep cliff looks the same at first, but when my eyes adjust I can see the narrow stairs made of glossy obsidian carving up the face, leading all the way to the metal door. Yet another thing I need a key for.

“I will take care of that too,” she assures me.

I give her a tight smile of thanks, feeling a little small after that show of power. I can’t even find a fucking key and she’s out here doing her own magic tricks.

We march to the base of the mountain, shadow stones rearranging themselves to show us a clear path, then start up the glassy black stairs. I remind everyone to be careful and once inside, don’t touch the skull snails.

“They’re poisonous,” I add.

At the top, Hanna puts her glowing hand on the door and unlocks it with ease. I glance at her before I enter, searching her face for a smirk or a sign of arrogance, anything that would tell me there’s still a spark of her underneath. How I yearn for her to tell me how badass she’s being, besting a God.

But there is nothing. Just Hanna’s beautiful but blank gaze of molten copper.

Still, I give her a nod of thanks and step inside the cave, while the rest of the party continues up the steep stairs.

Once inside, the troops murmur their surprise. The cave system is elaborate and long with high ceilings, not at all what they were expecting, I’m sure. I lead everyone through the lair, pointing out the different rooms and caverns where they can hunker down. Some of them are made up for entertaining and sleeping, a home away from home with animal skin rugs and furniture made of bones, but most of the spaces are empty. Still, it’s better than sleeping unprotected in the forest. At least here everyone will be safe and can finally get a good night’s rest.

“Where shall I go?” Hanna asks me.

I grab her hand and squeeze it tight. “You’re with me, my little bird. Come. I have a surprise.”

Her brows raise quizzically and I lead her down a tunnel to the left, the torchlights magicked to flame to life with a wave of my hand. We pass by my chambers, sparsely decorated with only a handful of furnishings, and I point it out to her before leading her further down the passage.

“Where are we going?” she asks idly.

“You’ll see.”

She points at the skull snails climbing up the sides of the walls, each one the size of a fist, with a different tiny animal skull housed on their back. “Do you have an infestation problem?”

“They cleanse away bad energy,” I tell her. “Helpful at a time like this.”

The tunnel leads to a narrow set of stairs and damp, warm, sulfur-scented air rises up to meet us as we descend.

“Here we are,” I say to her, gesturing around the small cavern that spreads out from the bottom of the stairs. The air is thick with warm humidity as a steaming creek runs through it, glowing a bright greenish blue as it gathers in a small bubbling pool. “My private hot springs.”

I lead her to the edge and then start taking off my clothes. I nod at her to do the same. “We are both filthy,” I tell her. “And normally I like that, but even I know when enough is enough. Take off your dress.”

“I am to go in there?” she asks, eyeing the pool.

“ We are to go in there. To cleanse. And the heat will help our muscles. You must be sore.”

She gives me a haughty smile. “I am always clean and warm, Tuoni, and my muscles don’t need any help.”

I let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. Then we’re doing it for me and I want my wife naked beside me, so I can fuck her.”

She frowns. “You could have just said that to begin with.”

I laugh, taking off my tunic and slipping out of my trousers, the cloth stained with blood and ichor, until I’m completely nude. Naturally, my cock is at full attention.

“I suppose that’s very Hanna of you,” I tell her. “Never mincing words. Now, take off that dress or I might take it off for you. Better yet, I will take it off for you.”

I stride over to her, cock bobbing as I walk which draws her attention. At least I see heat in her eyes, and not the type that comes from the sun. She might not be fully human, but this Goddess still has her primal urges, which is the most human thing of all.

I stop in front of her and reach for her dress. I’m impatient and my fingers are too large to handle such intricate laces, so I end up ripping the corset that’s laced up over the dress right down the middle, the sound echoing through the cave. The dark red gown, torn, dirty, and a few sizes too big for her, falls off her shoulders with ease, pooling at her feet like a blood stain.

I growl at the sight of her naked body, the urge to overtake her here and now nearly too powerful to contain, rumbling eagerly in my chest. But I wait for her to take off her boots, before I grab her hand and pull her to the hot springs. I enter the water first, steam rising from the glowing aqua, then beckon her to follow.

I wade to the opposite end where a bench has been carved out and sit down, my arms out over the rim of the pool, and watch as she steps hesitantly yet gracefully into the steaming water. I already feel a million times better. All the horrors that I’ve seen, all the souls that have been lost under my watch in this endless battle for my kingdom, they all seem to fade from my heart and mind as the hot water seeps deep into my muscles, soothing me.

Hanna stops in the middle of the pool, lowering herself so that the water is up to her neck. Her hair flows around her like a golden cape, her skin shimmering in shades of gold under the surface.

She’s so beautiful it nearly kills me, but what drives the knife in deeper is that the most beautiful part of her, the essence of all that she is inside, is gone, frosted over with divinity.

And yet, she swims over to me, with fire in her eyes that rivals the heat of the hot springs. She puts her hands around my neck and clasps them there, staring at me as if to say, well? Are you going to fuck me or not?

I can’t help but grin at her, reaching out to run my thumb over her lips. She takes it into her mouth, sucking slightly, sending a jolt straight to my cock, as her eyes hold contact with mine.

“Do you want to remember?” I ask her, voice rough and raw with need. “Do you want to remember who you are?”

She swallows and I pull my thumb out of her mouth as she says, “Yes.”

“Are you sure?” I ask, licking her spit off the side of my thumb, savoring her taste. “Because I feel like this doesn’t work if it’s not something you want.”

“I am certain,” she says, raising her chin.

That’s all I need.

I grab her face and kiss her deeply, claiming her as mine with each violent sweep of my tongue, forcing her mouth to open wider, to take as much of me as she can. Our lips meld, wet and building with pent-up frustration, tongues sliding against each other, spurred by urgency and need.

My hands drop into the water, roaming over her skin, tracing the curves of her body with reverence and care, fingers sinking into her flesh with hunger. Her skin is hot beneath my touch, radiating heat not only from the water, but from her core.

“Tuoni,” she murmurs as she pulls her lips from mine, her voice barely above a whisper. “Is it that terrible that I don’t go back to being Hanna? Can’t I just please my body through you?”

Her words make me pause, unravelling something inside. I try to keep my voice steady as I reply, “We don’t have to talk about it right now. We can just be.”

Once upon a time I would have loved to have her as something like a mistress, a woman to whom I would pledge no allegiance except through my cock. Someone to fuck, who only wanted me for pleasure and nothing else.

In the beginning, I believed that’s what Hanna was to me.

But I am not that God anymore.

I want every single fucking part of this woman.

“Then I need you,” she whispers as she kisses down my neck, lust surging through me. “I need you to become her. To become what you want.”

I swallow thickly, my heart swelling against my ribcage with love for her, and I kiss her deeply again, my hands exploring every inch of her that I can reach. I can feel the rhythm of her heart beating in sync with mine.

But I want you to want it too , I think.

As we float in the hot springs, our bodies entwined like two magnets, my desire for her grows stronger with each passing moment. I want to be inside her again, to feel the true warmth of her body surrounding me once more.

“I will do what I can,” I whisper against her skin, kissing her collarbones, and savoring the taste of her. “I will give you my all, fairy girl.”

She moans softly, her body trembling in response to my touch. Her hands grip my shoulders pulling me closer to her.

Taking her hips in my hands, I position myself at her cunt, her legs opening wider, knees on the bench. Her body welcomes me, her muscles clenching around me as I push inside her tight opening and begin to move within her. She’s wet as sin, a slippery slickness that makes my eyes roll back in my head. The rhythm of our bodies is in sync with the sound of the rushing water around us, like we are one with the cave and the elements.

“More,” she moans, her voice ragged with desire. “Deeper.”

Her words are a passionate prayer, fueling my desire for her even more. Each thrust is filled with a fierce urgency, as if we are trying to escape from the world around us while also finding ourselves.

As we continue, our moans mingle with the sound of the water, creating a symphony of lust and need that echoes throughout the cavern. Hanna’s body tenses beneath me, and I know that she is close to climaxing.

“That’s it,” I whisper into her ear, taking the lobe between my teeth. “Let go. Let me take you there. Fly with me, little bird.”

She responds to my words, her muscles gripping me tightly as she surrenders to the pleasure that courses through her veins. Her cries fill the air, each one more fervent than the last as her body trembles wildly, her back arching, her neck exposed.

“Tuoni!” she shouts, music to my ears that makes a stalactite crumble in the distance. Her words ignite a fire within me, and I thrust harder, deeper, my cock pulsing with the need to claim her completely. My heart races in time with our movements as I bury myself inside her once more.

“I won’t stop,” I promise her, my voice hoarse with desire. “I’ll never stop, as long as you want me.”

She moans, still coming, her hips bucking to meet each thrust, her body arching beneath me in perfect sync with my movements as the water sloshes around us. Her eyes are closed, lost in the passion of the moment, but I can see emotion on her brow, the hunger, the need, and the pure unadulterated raw pleasure that overtakes us.

As we continue to move together, faster, deeper, the water whirling around us in a violent frenzy, I feel myself nearing my own release. The sensation is intense, overwhelming. I’m dizzy with it.

Dizzy with my feelings for her as they overtake me like a storm.

“I love you,” I whisper hoarsely into her ear, feeling terribly vulnerable as I share these words for the first time. “I've loved you since the moment I saw you, and I’m sorry I never told you sooner. I didn’t know. I was a fool blinded by his own power and ambition and ego, and I didn’t know.”

Her eyes flick open, and she looks at me with an intensity that takes my breath away. I sense Hanna just underneath, I sense her taking stock of my admission and what it means. But she’s still buried beneath a sheen of indifference.

I grab her face in my hands and stare at her, willing her to appear. “I just want you to love me again, Hanna,” I plead, heart on the line. “It’s all I want in the end. You and your heart and your soul. All of which you once gave me so freely, all of which I hope still burns for me somewhere.”

She gives me a wan smile, desire slowly fading from her eyes.

“And I hope I can give you that someday,” she says.

Some day. But not today.

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