CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 14

AUREN

Fae.

The moment he says the word, I know it’s true. I know that’s what this beast inside my chest is, the one that even now, lies in wait, talons gripping the rungs of my ribs.

I look around the shadowed space of the strange cave, and that grip tightens. Gold is splashed everywhere in messy blotches, most of it congealed in puddles around the ground. When I look at it, all I can think of is how the fae in me took over. How it tore through me, hooking onto the reins of control, yanking them right out of my hands.

And with it...

Great Divine, the noises.

Every glint of gold in the cave is a glint in the castle as it shuddered and spread. Every reflection gleaming back at me is me seeing this wild version of myself tearing through people, killing them with merciless sweeps.

There were so many sounds of splashing and crashing, but mostly, what rings in my ears are the screams.

There has only been one other time when my gold acted like that. One other, and I swore to myself it would never happen again.

But it did.

When I back up a step, my heel soaks into the gluey liquid, and I jerk away from it with a flinch. It tries to creep up my leg, tries to come alive again and react to my emotions and movements, but I kick it away. Fisted hands shaking, I slam up my walls, cutting off the gold. Cutting off the fae beast. Shutting it all away so that those things can’t overtake me again.

I won’t let it.

A shudder goes through me, and I feel incredibly heavy all of a sudden, as if those walls I just erected inside my chest are weighing me down, pressing against my bones and cementing through my feet.

“Auren?”

Turning, I look at him with all that cumbersome weight straining my gaze. “Where are my gloves?” I ask. “I need to cover my hands.”

He hesitates and then slips off his own gloves, striding over to hand them to me. I can’t help but grimace when I see how stained they are or when I hear the squelching sound beneath his boots when he steps in one of the hardening puddles.

“Thank you,” I murmur.

I can’t quite look at him. I’m too embarrassed by the way I jumped him, for how I admitted that I wanted to be punished for the things that I did. I basically just used him so I didn’t have to think, so I could feel pain for the pain I subjected on others.

“Auren,” he says firmly, and despite how heavy my eyes are, they rise up. “Nothing about what we just did is anything shameful. You don’t need to feel embarrassed.”

I scoff, shaking my head as I pull on his gloves, feeling slightly better at having my hands covered.

“It’s true,” he says firmly, his eyes pulling me in. “You’re fae, just like me, which means we’re going to have wild, raving urges. Like fighting and fucking. Those two go hand in hand.”

My cheeks heat at his bluntness, and then I go hot all over when he carefully slips a hand to the back of my neck. His hair is disheveled from my fingers spearing through it, some of the strands stained with streaks of gold, even more of it dragged down his cheeks and gleaming on his lips. Something in me wants to purr at seeing all my marks on him like that.

“It’s completely natural,” he goes on, his voice rumbling through me with decadent heat. “And I, for one, fucking love it when I see more of your fae nature coming out.”

I let out a shaky smile. “I must not be that fae, considering these,” I say, tapping against the rounded tips of my ears.

“I have them too,” Slade points out, and as if to prove his point, his body shifts. His spikes absorb back beneath his skin, stealing away the wisps of his aura and the shine of scales along his cheek. When his eyes are green once more and his ears no longer pointed, he taps against them. “Though, mine are rounded in this form because I’m only half fae.”

“You are?” I ask in surprise. “Maybe I’m only half fae too. I don’t remember my parents well enough to know.”

“Could be.”

I’m relieved that we’re off the other subject, but now that reality is settling in, there are about a hundred other subjects cropping up in my mind. Subjects I don’t want to think about yet. I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly feeling incredibly tired.

The second he notices me shiver, Slade takes me by the hand. “Let’s get you back to the Grotto where you can rest.”

I don’t even have the energy to ask what the Grotto is. I simply let him scoop me up in some gold-stained blankets that he insists on wrapping me in. Once he’s satisfied that I’m bundled up, he carries me out of the cave, where we’re blasted with a snowstorm.

My spirit sinks a little at the cold, shriveling away from the drab, frigid sky. Without the shelter of the cave, the howling wind that I’d underestimated whips through us so hard that I’m surprised Slade doesn’t get knocked over.

Night seems to have fallen, and it’s spun with flakes of snow that whip around us. This is no soft and silent snowfall by any means. Fortunately, he has me so bundled up that only part of my face is out in the open. Even still, I feel frozen through within a minute of being outside.

Yet even in these less than ideal conditions, I find myself being lulled into an almost-sleep. With Slade’s arms around me and the steady gait of his walk, I burrow closer to him, a sigh passing through my lips as I close my eyes and turn off all my thoughts, turn off all my memories.

Because I don’t want to think of those. I don’t want to face them.

Not yet.

For now, I just want to feel his arms around me and ignore everything else.

I must doze off more than I really intended to though, because I’m roused again by the sound of voices. Instantly, I can tell that I’m no longer outside in the cold, because there’s a warmth that surrounds me, and the sound of the wind is gone.

“...let her sleep. It’s late.” That’s Slade’s voice. I realize even though we’re now inside and he isn’t carrying me through a blizzard, he’s still holding me. Like he doesn’t want to let me go.

My heart breaks a little at that.

I hear someone else scoff. “I don’t care if it’s late, she needs to eat. She’s been sleeping for four days. She’s done. Gildy Locks, you’re done. Wake up!”

My eyelids flutter open when I recognize Lu’s voice, and I blink up at a smooth wooden ceiling before my gaze shifts to Slade’s face. He sighs when he sees I’m awake.

“Did that work?” Lu asks a second before her face appears above me.

“Of course it worked, it’s not like you were quiet about it,” he replies.

She grins when I glance up at her. “There you are. Stop being lazy.”

Slade makes a noise of warning, but I feel my lips tugging up into a smile.

“I’m in a house with five damn men, and they’re driving me nuts,” she tells me. “I need someone to commiserate with.”

“Gildy should commiserate with me,” I hear Judd cut in from somewhere across the room. “You’ve been mean.”

Lu spins around. “Beating your ass at cards every night doesn’t make me mean. It makes me superior.”

“Yeah, but stealing the wine does make you mean.”

She sniffs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

With Slade’s help, I sit up, but he keeps me tucked against his lap on the oversized chair.

I look around curiously, taking in the unfamiliar space. It’s dark, save for a brick fireplace with a raised hearth that’s putting off a glow from the healthy fire. Not counting the exposed chimney, the rest of the walls in here are paneled wood, their color rich and polished. Aside from the forest green chair we’re currently sitting in, there’s a matching sofa to our right and another chair across from us. In the center of them all sits a wooden table with a thick white fur rug beneath it.

All in all, the space feels cozy. There are little touches too, like the coats hanging on hooks on a stand near the fireplace, the five pairs of boots lined up beside the hearth. There’s a savory scent coming from the open doorway that leads to a kitchen, and when I crane my head around, I can see what looks to be the front entryway door. This place has a homey sense, and I automatically relax when I note that it’s only Judd and Lu in the room with Slade and me.

When I turn my head back to Lu, my eye catches on the single window across from me. Frowning, I cock my head as I peer out. At first, I think the haze of blue must be the stars—though I’ve never seen them look like that. But the longer I study it, I realize that’s not right. I can see close shadows nearby, like maybe there’s a house with that strange lighting next door, but that doesn’t quite match up with what I’m seeing either.

“Where are we?” My voice comes out slightly cracked. Beside me, Slade keeps one hand loosely at my hip, his thumb slowly stroking over the fabric of my clothes as my side rests against his chest.

“Welcome to the Grotto,” Judd says with a wave of his arm from his spot on the sofa to my right. Lu walks back to the sofa next to him, curling her feet beneath her, though I don’t know how she manages to do that considering she’s wearing gigantic slippers on her feet.

“What’s the Grotto?”

Lu and Judd look to Slade, as if they don’t know how to answer. I thought this would be an easy question, but considering the hesitation that’s settled in the room, I guess I was wrong. The first drip of anxiety filters into my stomach, which is the last thing I want. Turning my head, I look up at Slade.

I finally get a chance to get a really good look at him, and what I see makes even more of those worried droplets fall down. He has circles under his eyes, and his five o’clock shadow has turned into the start of a thick beard. There’s tension held at his brow that he can’t hide from me, and he’s still wearing his wrinkled, gold-splotched clothes.

His eyes soften as he watches me. “The Grotto is our home in Drollard Village.”

“Okay...and where’s Drollard Village? Are we still in Fifth Kingdom?”

Judd grins and chucks his hands behind his head as he stretches his legs out in front of him. “That’s an interesting question. See, because it was Fifth Kingdom, but now it’s not. And technically, Drollard Village doesn’t exist. Neither do the people who live here.”

My mind swims. “Um. What?”

Slade shoots him an impatient look before turning his attention back onto me. “We’ll explain all of that later. How are you feeling?”

That’s not what I want to talk about. Not at all.

Ignoring his question, I shove the blankets that are still wrapped around me. Now that I’m awake, it’s sweltering under all these layers. When Slade loosens his hold enough for me to do that, I take the opportunity to stand. My bare feet sink into the soft fur rug as I pad across the room to the window. I look out, squinting at the swirl of glowing blue. “What is that? It’s almost like we’re—”

“In a house built inside a cave? Yep, we are,” Lu tells me.

“And it glows,” Judd pipes in.

My brows lift up in surprise. “Wow. It’s pretty.”

“Auren?” Slade calls my name tentatively, but it makes the skin around my eyes go tight.

Instead of answering him, I look back to Judd. He seems like a safe bet. “What kinds of card games have you been playing?”

I can tell that he sees right through me, especially when his eyes dart over to Slade for a split second before he answers me. Still, he plays along. “Oh, you don’t want to know, Gildy. Lu cheats.”

“I do not!” she says with outrage. “It’s not my fault you can’t hold your wine while we’re playing, and you make awful bets.”

He rolls his eyes. “See? Mean.”

A little laugh escapes me, but that quickly gets washed away when I hear, “Auren.”

I paste on a smile and turn to face Slade, but my stomach churns when he slowly stands up. “Yes?”

“I asked how you’re feeling,” he says carefully, his eyes the color of summer grasslands.

I can feel Judd and Lu staring at me, and my face goes hot.

“I’m fine.”

Seconds go by. Time’s pendulum swings like a spectator, eyes ticking from Slade to me as we watch each other.

He wants to talk. I can see the agonized words held back in his mouth. I can see the emotions he’s ready to face. But when I snapped back into consciousness in that other cave, those very emotions were too consuming. The memories too raw. I didn’t shove up walls only for my gold and my fae nature. I barricaded everything else too.

“I’m not ready.”

My lips are protective over that truth, pursing together defensively as soon as I’ve said it. I’m not ready. I can’t go there. Because if I go there, then I’ll have to think and process and feel. I don’t want to feel yet. The clock can count down all it wants, but I’m still not going to give in.

It’s apparent that Slade doesn’t want to give in either, but I get saved from whatever response he was going to say when a man walks in through the front door. A man who looks just like Slade.

Fake Rip.