Epilogue

Finn

Some time later

“So, was it everything you thought it would be?” Finn smiled against Hank’s neck, his face unreadable. Rubbing his face back and forth along Hank’s scruff, he breathed in the ocean air, savoring the sun kissing his back.

“I don’t know. It’s hard to explain, really. You can’t really compare it to anythin’ else.” Hank squinted, his hazel eyes nearly bright green in the noon sun, his gaze fixed on the ocean.

“I know. It suddenly makes everything seem so insignificant, doesn’t it? So small and… I don’t know. They’re just so majestic.” He turned in Hank’s arms while another gray giant broke through the surface of the green water.

“Holy shit!” Hank blurted. “That’s a huge one.” They had a great view from the cliffs, and the whales were easy to spot as soon as they closed in and passed the coast.

“I’ll never get tired of watching them,” Finn hummed, walking toward a sun-bleached bench made of driftwood. Sitting down, he let out a long, content breath, tipping his head back, face tilted towards the sun. “Come sit down beside me, babe,” he spoke over the wind, unsure if his voice was able to reach Hank.

“When you smile like that… When the sun hits your chin that way, and your face is half in the shadows, half in the light. It’s like I catch a glimpse of him. Of Eugene. Just for a moment.” Hank’s voice was solemn as it swept over him, wistfulness tugging at the individual words. But there was a grateful undertone to his words, too.

“Yeah?” he swallowed, keeping his eyes closed, as he felt Hank sitting down next to him, the warmth from his body spreading to his own.

“Is that wrong to say?” Hank spoke, and Finn thought he recognized a hint of worry in his voice.

“Is it true?”

“Yes.”

“Then it’s never wrong.” Finn smiled, reaching blindly for Hank’s hand, tangling their fingers together.

“And it doesn’t hurt your feelings?”

“A little, yes. Sometimes.” There was no reason to be anything but honest with Hank. Anything else would be a betrayal of what they were to each other.

“Then I’m sorry,” Hank murmured, squeezing his fingers tightly around Finn’s.

“Don’t be.” Finn shook his head, turning it towards Hank as he slowly blinked his eyes open. “You loved him once. In many ways, you still do.” He paused, reaching out, cradling Hank’s scruffy cheek in his hand, brushing his thumb slowly along the curve of his bottom lip. He’d lost count of the times that he’d kissed those lips. “It doesn’t mean that you love me any less, does it?” He’d accepted that Hank loved him now and although it at times still pushed at some primal notion inside him that he wasn’t worth it, that he didn’t deserve it, there was no way he was not going to let Hank love him.

“No.” Hank leaned into his touch, the small word vibrating against Finn’s thumb.

“Good.”

“But Finn, don’t you…?” Hank frowned, that deep furrow appearing between his prominent brows.

“No.” A deep chuckle grew in Hank’s chest, his mouth widening into a broad smile.

“You don’t know what I was gonna say.”

“I don’t. But whatever you are concocting in that handsome, weather-beaten head of yours… No,” Finn repeated, a smile blooming in his chest.

“No?” Hank laughed, the delicate crow’s feet crinkling at the corners of his eyes.

“Yes. We’re not like that, Hank. We are different people than that,” he spoke matter-of-factly as he leaned in and pressed a tender kiss against the corner of Hank’s mouth.

“Like what?” Hank hummed, chasing his lips playfully.

“We no longer let our regrets define us. We are not those people anymore.” He nibbled at Hank’s bottom lip, sucking it lazily into his mouth, toying with it until Hank groaned into his mouth.

“What are we then?” Hank’s words filled him.

“Forgiven,” Finn breathed against his lips, tasting the same truth on Hank’s breath.

“Forgiven?”

“Yes,” he nodded, brushing the tip of his nose against Hank’s. “Absolved of any past mistakes and failures. Any future ones, too.”

He felt the tears against his cheeks, Hank’s voice heavy and gruff as he replied, “We are, aren’t we?”

“Yeah,” Finn whispered as he licked Hank’s salty tears from his cheeks, swallowing them down and making room inside himself for the remnants of Hank’s sadness. Just like Hank always made room for all Finn’s insecurities and doubts. Once Hank’s tears stilled, he kissed Finn’s lips reverently. Then Finn felt his smile against his lips.

“What are we gonna do with all this time now?” Hank rasped.

“Love each other,” Finn whispered. “Just love each other.”

“I can do that,” Hank nodded solemnly. “Always.”