Chapter Twenty-Nine

Rowenna woke to bright sunlight streaming in the shutters. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Jasper was standing by the window. His stamina had certainly returned to normal, for she was exhausted from the night’s activities.

‘Awake at last. I thought you were going to sleep all day,’ he said. Days after his ordeal, his voice was still a strained whisper, but he was improving.

‘Better than sleeping forever.’ She teetered on the verge of tears again, and Jasper rushed to the bed and enfolded her in his arms.

‘You are shivering.’

‘I don’t think I will ever be warm again, Jasper.’

‘There is nothing to fear now.’

‘There is everything to fear.’

‘Don’t think about that. Just think about all the pleasurable ways I can warm you up, lass,’ he said, sinking his lips to hers in a glorious kiss.

The look in Jasper’s eye sent a flame of lust between Rowenna’s legs, but it was doused by the thought that someone was trying to kill him. ‘No, Jasper,’ she cried. ‘We must talk about what happened in those woods.’

‘Leave it, Rowenna.’ He turned around, hung his head and sank his fingers into his hair. Rowenna hugged him as hard as she could with a swollen wrist and pressed her head to his back.

‘We cannot ignore the attempt on your life,’ she said quietly.

‘Lass, do I have to say the words?’

She hugged him tighter. ‘No, because I understand.’

Jasper’s humiliation was in the hunch of his back, the way he would not quite meet her eye since they had made their way back to Kransmuir, and his utter refusal to talk about his hanging. But they could not be silent on the subject forever.

‘Jasper, was it Carstairs who planned the attack on us?’

He sighed. ‘He was in on it, but that worm doesn’t have the cunning or courage to go up against me.’

Rowenna turned Jasper’s face to hers and smiled. ‘Is your reputation so fearsome, Jasper Glendenning?’

‘It was, but I have been humbled.’

She frowned. ‘No. You are still alive to fight another day. That is all that matters. And that farmer did your bidding quickly enough. Thank God for your fearsome reputation, or else I would have frozen to death that day.’

He stroked the hair off Rowenna’s face. ‘Aye. We put the fear of God into him, turning up like we did. And we survived because you are strong, Rowenna. Stronger than me, it seems.’

She had to divert him from his humiliation. ‘What will Carstairs do now that he has failed?’

‘Crawl on his belly to his master and beg forgiveness for letting me get away.’

‘And who is his master?’

Jasper stood up. His hands were in fists. ‘Caolan Bannerman,’ he said.

‘Surely not? You are in an alliance with him. He sent a warning with Strachan.’

‘Rowenna, just before they stretched my neck, those men said, ‘Caolan Bannerman sends his greetings.’ See how I am humiliated twice over. First, the hanging, then to know it is the cursed Bannerman clan behind it. They have long been the root of all the trouble in my life.’

‘Because Seaton took the woman you loved?’

‘Because of many things, lass, which you do not understand.’ His face was a mask of bitterness.

Did he still burn over Brenna’s loss? The familiar jealousy curdled in Rowenna’s heart, but she pressed on. ‘Caolan Bannerman would need to have been in this plot with Strachan. But they have both suffered at the hands of the Warden. And if they were in league with each other, why did Strachan bother warning you about an attack?’

‘Because Caolan is a clever one. Sending a warning was a gamble. He knows me. He would have guessed I would go in pursuit of my ambushers. And the men who stretched my neck told me that Caolan had ordered my death and that my suffering was to be prolonged.’

‘But what would Caolan Bannerman and Peyton Strachan gain by killing you?’

‘Liddesdale. They both covet that land. Strachan has the greater claim because it used to belong to his clan, and Caolan wants it because he is an arrogant bastard and intends to hold sway over all the West March. His ambition knows no bounds, nor does his brother’s.’

‘His ambition will be checked by the Warden. And why would Seaton want you dead?’

‘He thinks that I am a threat to his wife.’

‘Because you covet her still?’

Jasper shook his head. ‘Not any more. My heart healed from all that foolishness the moment it encountered you. Did I not prove that last night with my efforts, lass?’

Oh, he had, by making love to her for hours, tenderly, rapturously, as if he could not get enough of her. And she had given herself to him with abandon, even though her body was bruised and battered from being swept down the river. Even now, the sinfulness of her actions made her face glow. But a small part of Rowenna still could not trust in Jasper’s desire or in him.

‘Do not fish for compliments,’ she said briskly. ‘I will not indulge your vanity. And I cannot believe that the Strachan fellow was lying. Perhaps he was not in on the plan to kill you.’

‘Do you favour him, lass? He seemed very taken with you? Do I have a rival?’

‘It would be good if you did,’ thought Rowenna. But she swallowed down her resentment and said, ‘Of course not. But something about Strachan’s manner made me trust him.’

‘Well, I do not trust him.’

‘You don’t trust anyone, even me.’

‘I do trust you, especially now you’ve saved my life.’ Jasper put his hand to his throat as if remembering the bite of the noose.

‘Does it hurt?’

‘No more than my pride.’

‘Your pride will heal, and one day, you will get revenge on your enemies, Jasper. You just have to wait for the right moment and be certain who your enemy is before you strike.’

‘You are right. And the wound to my pride is not from the hanging. It is from being rescued by a lass.’

‘I was happy to do it.’

‘You were brave to do it’ He looked away from her, rubbing his thumb into his palm. ‘I am ashamed of myself, for I have sorely misjudged and mistreated you, Rowenna.’ He sighed. ‘I have a confession to make. When I first took you, I thought, ‘She should be grateful. Rowenna MacCreadie is poor and desperate. She is from a lowly clan and no fit wife for a man of my lofty station. But I want her, and she will do, if I am to get an heir.’

Rowenna bit her lip, for his words were hurtful, though he said them gently enough.

Jasper gave her an anguished look. ‘Now, I ask myself, ‘How can she be with me and bear me to touch her? Why does she want to lie down with me and let me inside her? How can I ever be worthy enough to hold onto Rowenna?’ He gave a little smile. ‘Can I ever get her to love me as much as I love her?’

Rowenna blinked away tears. ‘Must you talk such nonsense, Jasper Glendenning. I have no time for it.’ He pulled her to his chest and kissed her thoroughly. As her loins melted under his touch, she thought, ‘Maybe I can make time for his nonsense.’

But no, they had more pressing matters. ‘We are in this together, Jasper, to the bitter end. Your fate is mine. So what are you going to do?’

He stood up and strapped on his sword. ‘I am going to talk to Caolan Bannerman.’

‘Talk?’ she cried as he walked to the door.

‘Aye, there will be some talking involved,’ he said.

And much else besides, including violence, but there would be no stopping her husband if he was hell-bent on folly. These last weeks, she had learned that much. How strange it was that Jasper now treated her as a friend and confidante as well as a lover. She had once hated him. But he had rescued her from a terrible future at Fallstairs and made a woman of her. Jasper treated her as an equal, and her pride soared at that. They had come a long way to reach this place of love. Hopefully, they had many years of it to come, and she could not allow him to fight Caolan Bannerman and put that in jeopardy.

‘Jasper. Don’t go. I have a better plan. Come back to bed and do wicked, disgusting things to me. I am your slave, so take your pleasure in whatever way you desire. I will let you do anything you want, I swear.’

A wicked grin spread across his features, rendering his harsh face impossibly desirable. Rowenna meant what she said – she would let him do anything, not just now, always.

‘Tempting, but not this time, Rowenna. Keep your ardour warm for when I return, and I shall hold you to your vow. And my blood will be up, so you had best brace yourself for a long night.’ He winked and turned to go.

She called after him. ‘Jasper, what about Bran?’

‘He has gone. I set him free before we set off for the wedding. Put the bastard on a horse and pointed it south. I told him, if I ever set eyes on him again, I would open his throat.’

She wasn’t expecting that. She was going to plead for her brother’s release.

‘Are you angry? Did I do the wrong thing,’ said Jasper.

‘No.’

‘I asked him if he wanted to say goodbye to you. I will not repeat his curse-ridden answer for the sake of your feelings, lass.’

Rowenna picked at the edge of a blanket. How was she supposed to feel? Was she wicked for being relieved? Her hapless brother was the cause of Cecily’s disappearance. He had compelled her to make a whore of herself with Jasper for his own selfish needs. Bran had cheated, lied and squandered his life away, and she was better off without him.

Jasper was stricken. ‘Rowenna, look at me. Say something. Did I hurt you by sending him away?

‘No. I am glad. Bran was a burden all my life. And because of him, I have lost my sister. Where she used to be, there is now just emptiness. He should never have thrown her into the path of Edmund Harclaw. Now, Cecily’s fate haunts me every day. Bran deserves his banishment.’

‘I am sorry we have not found Cecily yet. But she will not be missing forever, I promise.’

Jasper kissed her on the forehead and rushed off. Rowenna could only chew on her lip and fret over him. What was she to do now? She rushed out of bed and stared out the window at Kransmuir’s gates. A short time later, Jasper galloped through, alone. Why did he not take men with him? She should have held him in her bed. She was a useless, weak fool for letting him go, even though his pride demanded it. But to Jasper, pride was everything, and trust was a stranger.

A tap on the door announced Joan Glendenning’s arrival. The woman entered without Rowenna’s say-so, but she had never had much claim to courtesy. She did not bother with pleasantries. ‘You saved my son’s life, or so he tells me. I have come to thank you, Rowenna.’

Hearing her name from Joan’s lips was jarring. ‘I was happy to do it,’ she replied.

‘It seems I owe you a great debt.’

‘You don’t owe me anything. I didn’t do it for you.’

‘And why on earth did you do it for my son?’ said Joan.

The words came out of Rowenna’s mouth with such certainty that she wanted to cry. ‘Because I love him and cannot live without him.’

‘How can you love him?’ said Joan, shaking her head.

‘How can I not?’

‘But he took you from your home against your will. He forced you into marriage and his bed.’

‘And you didn’t do a thing to help me, did you?’

Joan had the decency to look ashamed, yet she replied, ‘You are not of my blood. The survival of our clan was at stake. Jasper needed an heir, so I turned a blind eye to how he got one. For that, I suppose I should be contrite.’

‘Well, you needn’t be. You were right when you said Jasper raised me up. But it was not in riches and comfort. Your son makes me happy. He makes me more than I have been. He protects me, and so I protect him in return. And he loves me, Joan. I am sure that dismays you, but there is nothing you can do about it.’

A sneer curled the woman’s lip. ‘Do not rely on love, little fool. Men are changeable in their affection, though as I owe you a debt, I truly hope I am wrong.’

‘Why is my love for Jasper so difficult for you to understand?’

‘Because I never had it. I hated his father.’ The words were spat out in a rush of feeling. ‘I was married off when I was younger than you to a man who saw no value in me save an alliance and a dowry. Hugh made no secret of it, and he treated me with contempt from my wedding night until the day he died. Sometimes, when Jasper is angry and cold, I feel that my hate for my husband tainted my son in the womb and made him incapable of true feeling.’

‘You could not be more wrong about Jasper.’

‘He needs an heir and has a fancy for you, lass. God alone knows why. I have let him have his way because Jasper has always done what is good for this clan, for the survival of the Glendennings. And if I have been cruel, it is because I want that too. Nothing is as important as survival, not love, family or honour. And if you get with child, you will also have a stake in Clan Glendenning. So I will learn to accept you, Rowenna, if you can put my hostility behind you. After all, we both love the same man.’

It was a grudging apology, but it was all Rowenna would get. ‘Very well, I agree,’ she said. ‘We will forget the past.’

‘Good. Now, I will let you get some rest. After your exertions in my son’s bed these last few days, you probably need it.’

Joan’s eyes roamed over Rowenna, making her painfully aware of her dishevelled appearance - tangled hair, lips swollen from Jasper’s kisses, his seed sticky between her thighs. At that moment, she was sure the woman could sniff out sin like a pointer after a game.

Could Joan never resist a barb? Well, she could hurl one, too. ‘So what are you going to do about Maeve?’ said Rowenna. ‘Carstairs is no longer a suitor, and you can hardly marry her to a groom, can you?’

Their eyes locked, and Joan flinched. It must hurt to realise that Jasper now shared his deepest secrets when he was in her bed. To a proud woman like Joan, the shame of having an unmarried daughter with child would be unbearable.

Jasper’s mother raised her chin, proud as always. ‘Carstairs was unsuitable, so I must cast about for another prospect. And will you keep Maeve’s shame to yourself or shout it from the rooftops?’

‘You already know the answer to that question. You may depend on my loyalty. And Joan, you can also be assured I will not let you marry Maeve off to some withered old man just to save your good name.’

Joan cast her a withering glance, but its power was diminished. Rowenna need not suffer her scorn any longer. As the woman swept out, she realised she was now Lady of Kransmuir. But only as long as Jasper stayed alive.

She put her palms together and prayed he would come home safely.