Chapter Twenty-Five

Three days later, Rowenna desperately needed to escape Kransmuir, for the whole place was in uproar due to Maeve’s wedding plans. Joan had taken control of everything and as Rowenna was not included, she took refuge with Osla, though the wet nurse was never much comfort. Osla tutted over the fact that Rowenna was excluded.

‘You’d think the lady of the house would hold sway over it all, not that Joan,’ sniffed Osla. ‘And you are Lady Glendenning since your marriage. Jasper should shuffle her off somewhere out of the way. And if you know what’s good for you, then you’ll spend your time abed so that you have a son to give him, come year’s end, or else I’ll have another mistress, and a cruel one, most likely.’

Osla was blessed with boundless self-interest and a narrow view of life, but occasionally, she would reveal a nugget of good advice. And as Rowenna had few friends, she didn’t have much choice in the company she kept.

‘Where is he, lass - that husband of yours?’

‘I don’t rightly know,’ snapped Rowenna tartly, for her mood of late had been dark since Jasper had been avoiding her. He was now sleeping in a different chamber.

‘Why isn’t he between your legs?’ cackled Osla. ‘He seemed happy to settle there not too long ago.’

The thought of Jasper inside her brought a rush of blood to her cheeks and loins, and Rowenna bridled at Osla’s bawdy talk. ‘How should I know what a man wants or doesn’t want?

‘Oh, but I know what you want. You’ve been sour as vinegar these past few days, ever since you ran away. Seems Jasper didn’t chase you hard enough, lass.’

‘I don’t want to talk about men. They are a mystery to me.’

‘Tis no mystery. Keep him hard to keep him soft, that’s what I say.’

‘Oh, enough, Osla. I am going for some air, and I’m taking Caitrin.’

‘Mistress Joan won’t like it.’

‘You just said that I am the mistress here, not Joan. And so I will do as I please.’

Rowenna rushed away with Osla shouting after her, ‘See, tetchy, you are. Backed up with lust is what it is.’

Cursing silently, Rowenna headed to the yard, where chests were being loaded into a cart bearing all Maeve’s treasures to begin married life – pewter, crockery, dresses and fine tapestries. She would be a splendid bride, decked out in the finest, whereas Rowenna had been practically barefoot coming to Jasper. Has his lust for his lowly bride waned already?

She cradled Caitrin to her bosom for warmth. The bairn was fattening nicely. Her cheeks were now pink, plump and adorably perfect. Rowenna headed to the stable. A mare was about to foal. She was keen to see if it had arrived.

But when Rowenna entered the stable, Jasper was there, stroking the nose of his fine, black stallion. For a moment, she could not tear her eyes away from his broad hands, slowly moving over the velvet of the horse’s nose. He could be so gentle when he chose to, and those hands could bring such pleasure. Rowenna began to retreat, but Caitrin gave a little cry, and she was spotted.

Jasper’s eyes went to his daughter and then her. The bairn settled back down, her little fist clenched on Rowenna’s bodice. ‘Well, aren’t you two a pretty picture,’ he said, his face softening, making Rowenna want to kiss him and feel his hands on her skin. Then he said, in a mocking tone. ‘What are you doing creeping around the stables? Not trying to steal a horse to escape, are you?’

‘I am doing no such thing. I just had to come out for some air. All this bustle in the castle is driving me to distraction.’

‘Well, it is necessary to get Maeve married and settled.’

Rowenna decided to pick a fight. ‘You are making a mistake, you know.’

‘And as I have told you these last few days, whenever you press me on it, that is not your concern. Give me my daughter.’

Rowenna handed Caitrin over, and he cooed at her. Jasper had such abject love for the little scrap that Rowenna was almost jealous. ‘Would you do the same to this little lass when she is of age – sell her off for an alliance?’

‘Would you care?’

‘Aye, for I want to see her happy. I love her.’

Jasper looked her in the eye. ‘Is that what you think I am doing to my sister? Do you really think I am that heartless?’ He heaved a great sigh. ‘Do you think I don’t love Maeve, even in all her silliness? I will tell it to you straight. The lass needs to be married before she shames herself any more.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You know exactly what I mean. Maeve is a little too free with her favours, unlike some I could mention.’ Jasper’s jaw worked, and he stared into her eyes, his meaning all too clear. ‘I must curb my sister’s ways before she is ruined, and Carstairs is as good a husband as any.’

Rowenna was caught by Jasper’s blue eyes as he brought his lips close to hers, the bairn between them. ‘Don’t pretend that you didn’t know about Maeve’s excesses. The whole castle talks of it, and I am sure that big-mouthed wet nurse has mentioned it.’

Her heart raced. ‘Can’t you find someone she could come to love?’

‘That is not an easy thing, is it?’ Rowenna was mesmerised by the dark ring around his pupils, the almost-gold centre, which gave his eyes warmth even when angry. His eyes were beautiful, and it was not fair that she should admire them, that she should get a sudden rush of warmth to her belly when they held her in their grip.

Jasper frowned. ‘What do you want of me, Rowenna?’

‘Nothing. I don’t want anything.’

His smile broadened. ‘Are you sure?’

Jasper’s lips were but an inch from hers. ‘I must be going.’ Rowenna held out her arms for the bairn.

‘No,’ he said. ‘I will take her for a while.’

Rowenna retreated to her chamber, locked the door and flung herself onto the bed. She had all afternoon to while away the hours until supper. It was cold, so she snuggled under the blankets, fully clothed, but it was not long before Jasper entered her thoughts, and when he did, she could not help but slide her hand between her legs. It was sinful, but she carried on thinking about him as she moved her hand against her soft parts ever more frantically as the craving in her belly grew. When Rowenna found her release, she had to bite down on her other hand to stifle her shame.

But it was not enough and was no substitute for the real thing. Rowenna drifted off to sleep and woke to an awful truth that beggared her pride. She wanted Jasper Glendenning. He was a clawing in her loins, an ache in her breast, a whirlwind in her mind. And it was time to do something about it.

***

Jasper was woken from a fitful sleep by the squeal of the door opening and the soft padding of feet. The full moon picked out a shadow moving across the chamber. An assassin!

Jasper reached for his dirk, leapt out of bed and took hold of the shadow in an iron grip, only to find soft curves beneath his hands and a squeal of outrage ringing in his ears.

‘Hell’s teeth, Rowenna. What are you doing creeping in here at night? I could have slit your throat.’

‘I didn’t know you would attack me. And forgive me for disturbing you. I will go.’

‘Not so fast.’ In vain, she struggled to free herself.

‘Please, Jasper. Let me go.’

‘Not when I have you at a disadvantage,’ he said, as her wriggling brought his manhood to attention.

‘Aye, you do,’ she said. Rowenna stood on tip-toe to kiss him. His grip softened in surprise, and he held her back.

‘Why have you come? What are you doing?’

She kissed him again. ‘Trying to seduce you,’ she said.

‘Why?’

She blinked up at him. ‘Because I’m tired of all the lies and pretending between us. And I want you, Jasper.'

‘What,’ he gasped.

‘I want you, with no favours asked. I just want you inside me, now. I will even beg if I have to.’

Rowenna wanted him. Finally. Could she be in earnest?

She kissed him again, cradling his face in her hands, and then she flicked her little tongue inside his mouth. Even if this was all she could offer, this carnal need, then he would take it. With a growl, Jasper lay her over the side of the bed and thrust up her shift. Her bottom was a pale, ripe thing in the moonlight. He spread her legs and entered her with a groan.

It felt so right, so perfect. His hands sought her breasts - pert, smooth and warm. Rowenna arched her back as he slid into her. He reached around his hand to bring her pleasure.

‘I’ve wanted this so badly,’ she gasped. ‘Make me yours, Jasper. Do what you want with me, anything.’

Jasper tried to slow his ardour as he lay over her, his belly pressed to her back. Her fingers slid into his hair, and she called his name in a little cry, and Jasper believed that he was desired and cared for.

He gripped her tightly, and she cried out. ‘I love you, Jasper. I don’t want to, but I do.’

He was lost. The pulse of his seed entering Rowenna’s soft, willing body faded away, leaving him breathless and weak with pleasure. He pressed Rowenna down on the bed because he did not want to see her face when he asked, ‘How can you want me, Rowenna? How can you love someone like me?’

‘I just do,’ she panted. ‘I love you, and I cannot help it, and I don’t think I will ever be able to stop.’

She wriggled around, and his manhood broke free of her.

‘I want to stay inside you forever,’ he said.

‘Good. That is where you belong,’ she replied, wrapping her arms around him.

His throat felt tight, and his eyes hot. ‘I don’t want to talk, Rowenna,’ he said.

‘Nor do I. Our bodies just said all there is to say. But I do love you, Jasper Glendenning.’

His heart lightened as he hugged Rowenna hard enough to break bones. She was not a fit consort for a man of his power. She brought no wealth and was from a family that plotted against him. She was headstrong and would never obey him. But Rowenna was not like Isobel, doing her cold, begrudging duty in his bed. Nor was she like Brenna, forever spurning what he had to offer.

Rowenna was beautiful, passionate and fearless. Had she not just taken him as much as he had taken her? And when she said her words of love, some wounded part of him, deep inside, believed her.

Jasper felt light, as if he could float above the bed. Rowenna’s love gave him a final sense of belonging that brought a tear to his eye. He wiped it away before she could see.

They lay in the darkness, talking, kissing, and touching each other for hours until Rowenna yawned, and he said, ‘We should get some sleep before setting off for Annancross.’

‘Are we really going?’

‘Aye, and we must. Rowenna, there is something you should know about Maeve.’

‘I know she is a little free with her favours.’

‘She has been since she was but fifteen. My mother caught her with a visiting laird’s son, doing God knows what. She got the birch for it, but it did not stop her. And as to Carstairs, when he first visited in the summer, she threw herself at him. He was another conquest to Maeve. She likes to be admired, to exert her power over men. When she tired of the betrothal, she began to say she did not like him, but she liked him well enough to let him take her to the barn and, well, if they hadn’t been caught in time, you can imagine the rest.’

‘But she told me she could not bear to lie with him.’

‘Lies. Maeve has always been changeable, and her latest dalliance with a groom at my aunt’s has sealed her fate. I have to make sure she is wed to a steady man to control her worst impulses and hide her shame.’

‘Maeve cannot help her passionate nature.’

‘Aye, and my mother tried hard enough to beat it out of her. She didn’t spare the rod with me, either. Nor did my father. They said it would make me grow up strong. It did, but it also made me grow up angry and hard, some might say, too hard. I think I am a cold man, Rowenna.’

‘No, you are wrong.’ She stroked his hair off his forehead with gentle fingers.

‘My childhood was strict and brutal. I had to bury any soft feelings, and I was always raging against being told what to do.’

‘I know how that feels,’ she said with a little laugh.

‘Tell me, lass, did you follow my command just now?’

‘No, I followed…’

‘Your heart?’

Rowenna laughed. ‘Another part of my body, one that surrenders every time you lay hands on me. It leads me to such sin.’

‘Tis the same for me, lass. Are we not lucky to have this hunger for each other? I never had it with Isobel, no matter that she was lovely to look at.’

And with other women?’

‘Aye, in my youth, but then I became jaded. And I never felt it as strongly as this. You hold my thoughts prisoner, Rowenna. It burns my heart out every time I earn a smile from you.’

‘It is the same for me,’ she sighed, and their mouths came together. It seemed neither of them would get any sleep before the journey to Annancross.