Chapter 8

8

A llienna | Kinnari Temple | Late 1990s

She remembered the day the cramping began. Having never experienced a pain both dull and unbearable, Allienna fell to the floor in the one-room temple that served as her home.

She thought of her encounter with Ayurveda every day, marking tallies in her mind as another sun set and another moon rose. That day marked seven hundred forty-three thousand, eight hundred and seventy-two.

She was alone, holding her hand to her lower stomach with the faint smell of copper in the air.

There was an unusual wetness on the inside of her undergarments. Allienna rushed off her long-sleeved, purple, form-fitting dress and pulled out on the band of her underwear, peering down.

It can't be.

She slid the cloth fully down her legs to examine the stain. Allienna's doe eyes got even wider, and she stared at bright red blood .

Mortal blood.

She tilted her head, considering if she should wander back through the portal and call the terrifying goddess back down for some answers.

Her stomach rumbled, and this made Allienna giddy. She smiled down at her feet, recalling books and tales of cravings during menstrual cycles. It was now her turn. She was going to eat absolutely everything.

Allienna moved towards the small pantry against the eastern wall opposite the large communal table. Before she considered the best possible attack on the existing food that Arryn always had so generously stocked, she pulled out a smooth-edged knife from the top drawer and slit deeply into the inside of her left palm.

Allienna winced, but she didn't know if it was from the pain or from the shock of what she was looking at. There, from the open wound on her hand, was thick red blood painting her wrist and forearm.

Am I no longer Kinnari? Or am I no longer immortal?

It was slower than normal, but the wound did start to heal, as if there was an invisible doctor sewing stitches with a shaky hand. She didn't know. She had no idea how she was now limited when facing the world with blood that turned once it hit oxygen.

Allienna heated a bowl of water over the fireplace and then gently removed the drying blood from her skin. She only had one job to do now.

She would count the days after she stopped bleeding, and then she would love Arryn so hard and so often that he would release himself again and again and again. She could take the pain, the touch all day if, for once, she got something real in return. Something her need burned bright for: an unconditional love.

That fire has to come from somewhere.

She was immensely grateful that he had left to release his power, creating storms and weather patterns, as neither of them could take Arryn's continually intensified burning. Allienna could easily see wanting to throw something at his big head if he showed his face right now. It didn't seem fair that she had to go through all of this while he simply got to exist. He got to play creator, and she had always just been his servant. Today that felt more unfair than it did before.

She pulled out white rice, butter, and a thick red pepper curry from bamboo containers in the small ice box that pulled out from underneath the counter. Just in case she had more butter than rice, she found a soft baguette and added it to her small countertop feast, slicing through the crust as the smell of fresh bread wafted through the temple.

Eating suddenly seemed to be the only thing that mattered, the only thing Allienna could think about. She stuffed herself with more food than she ever had consumed at one time and loved herself for it. Every bit felt like a comfort, a power. Soon the feeling of her full belly set in, prompting her to take a nap and watch snow fall from the skylights above her bed.

Allienna tore off a small piece of the bedsheet, folding it and placing it in between her thighs to soak up the flowing blood. She let her eyes close and over the next three days followed a strict pattern of more eating, more sleeping, and enjoying the ache in her lower belly. It was her pain, no one else's. She could marvel at her own feelings, her own sensations, having had so little time in her life to be able to sit with them without focusing on Arryn.

The temple was so quiet that she heard the latch on the door lift, followed by the groan of the hinges fighting to open against any settled snow. The pattern of footsteps softly thudded down the hall. There was an odd sticking, emphasizing a pop of the heel. That wasn't Arryn. Someone else was in her home, uninvited.

Moments later, a face came into view. A child, smiling from ear to ear.

"Tristan," Allienna said in disbelief. The child that stood before her looked no different from a nine-year-old mortal boy with curly brown hair that swayed below his jawline. He wore a long-sleeved, plain black shirt with knee-length black shorts.

This boy, the eighth original Kinnari, had been dead for a millennium.

"Is this real?" she asked him, reaching out her hand. "I thought you were . . ."

"Dead?" he interrupted. "The first victim of the Vrae?"

She wished that time would make her forget, but Tristan was murdered right in front of her when she too was a child. She could never forget.

They hadn't yet grown into their wings, their magic still developing, still learning. The original eight Kinnari were sitting ducks when the Vrae were first released into the Earth realm, into the temple.

Allienna remembered the sharp white fangs inches from her face, about to bite down while the others screamed and ran from its multiples. Her life, never having begun, was about to end. Then, it all stopped, they were gone. All that remained was the mangled, feasted-upon body of their eighth, of the boy who stood before her.

They all barely even knew each other at that point. Suddenly, they all just existed, with no answers to who they were. Most living things had grown from infancy, the Kinnari appeared in bodies of ten-year-olds and then were mostly left on their own to learn about their gifts and responsibilities to the Earth realm.

After the Vrae attack, no one mourned, and no one wept. They just sat there staring in horror, while Djoser ran out into the snow, his back towards the temple and his hands holding his head.

"I was made for death," he cried solemnly, discovering his magic only because of the threat.

She remembered not knowing what he meant. She remembered everyone else brushing over it. Djoser was the last to be attuned with his abilities and once he was, he would get orders from the Life Gifter to eliminate entire species, to kill kings and leaders, to bring other magical beings into extinction.

"Allienna, you're not paying attention to me," Tristan said in a sing-song voice. "I came here with a warning."

The Kinnari female let her feet hit the floor and slid off the bed, her wings out behind her. She looked at the child, her eyes reflecting a mixture of sorrow and suspicion.

"I wish we got to know who you were to become. I wondered what this world, this realm missed out on after your murder, what your talents were."

" This is my . . . talent, Allienna. I am real."

Allienna reached her hand out, took a step toward Tristan, and tried to grab his shoulder. She stumbled, her hand falling through the air.

"I said I was real, not that I had a physical body," Tristan scoffed.

"You know, maybe you're kind of brat," Allienna said, picking herself up off the floor, her wings engulfing her like a blanket.

"Maybe I'm a saint," he said, studying his nails. "Or maybe I'm the devil."

He looked up at Allienna, baring his teeth in a sadistic smile.

"What, what are you? What is this?"

"Oh, little girl," Tristan pushed forward. "I've told you already. I've got a warning for you. You will birth a child and no matter how much you love or protect that child, it will share the same fate as me. It will be claimed by Vrae."

The image of his mangled, bloodied body appeared on the floor between the both of them.

Allienna screamed, almost stepping on it.

"Allienna?" A deep voice echoed behind her and a burning pulsed through her veins. "Allienna, what's wrong? Allienna, wake up!"

Allienna woke up, and Arryn stood over her, shaking her shoulders.

"What, what are you doing?" she asked deliriously. "Where's Tristan?"

"Tristan?" Arryn asked, confused, stepping back from her. "I think you were having a nightmare. You were screaming in your sleep."

"Oh." she blinked, taking in the serenity of the temple, the coziness of her large bed .

"It felt so real," she said, sitting up. "How long have you been gone?"

"Four days," he said, still looking at her distressed. "What do you need? Can I get you something?"

Allienna kicked her feet to the side of the bed and stood up, her white silk robe hugging her hips and the shape of her breasts. Arryn bit his lip, his eyes pleading, asking.

He caressed her face with his hands, his breath hot against her forehead. She felt the light familiar fire pulsing under her skin. Every time she wanted his pleasure, there was always that unavoidable pain. She had grown to accept it, to crave it, not knowing what receiving truly selfless pleasure felt like.

"I need to leave," she said, moving her hands and tugging on his earlobe. "Just for a few days. I need to visit Reign."

Arryn towered over the petite female in front of him while her hands slid down to his chest. He leaned in to kiss her, drinking in her essence. She could feel the life, the happiness her physical touch brought to him, and she did love it at times; she loved taking care of her family.

"I will be here, waiting for you," he promised, placing his hands on her hips to steer her towards the door. Allienna nodded and turned her back to him, moving towards the backside of the bed where a large chest stood. She grabbed a backless thermal olive dress, gloves, a parka that opened through the back, and earmuffs for comfort.

While changing, she noted that the ripped sheet in her underwear contained no new blood. The ten-day countdown had begun.

Allienna walked to the hallway leading towards the exit into the Earth realm. Arryn met her there, kissing her once more, pressing his hard body against her. She found comfort in bearing his weight, like a heavy blanket that would always keep her safe despite how painful their relationship was for her.

Moments later, her black boots crunched in the snow outside as Arryn closed the latch behind her. She let the fresh air hit her nose and her skin, stinging from the negative temperature. The sun was high overhead and bright, with the same beautiful blue skies that would appear after the passing of a storm.

Allienna spread out her wings and began to run down the incline of the peak until she gathered so much speed that she began to trip over her feet. Before her body hit the ground, her wings easily caught her in a glide. It had been a while since she went outside, since she flew, and her smile grew wider as she pushed her wings back, propelling her higher into the air until she soared out of sight.

Allienna spent the next forty-five hours soaring sixty miles above land, and while grueling at times, she reveled in this unexpected freedom. She yelped as she spun, slightly deprived of oxygen from the height. She squealed in delight when she dove a mile down so that the jolt would help keep her awake.

The sun and moon circled her. She resisted every urge to continue flying further up to see if she could reach her hands out to them. They were only illusions, representations of the Kinnari creators. This world, all worlds, bowed down to these items that anchored this planet here.

When her eyelids turned dark from the cold and even the forced adrenaline couldn't keep her going, she knew she was getting close. She began to lower herself, seeing the mass of land that passed beneath her, and focused in on the west coast city that Reign had an odd fondness for.

Allienna landed forty miles outside of downtown Sacramento, on agricultural land hosting hundreds of cows grazing on lifeless grass surrounded by a barbed wire fence. On the other side of that fence was a dark blue luxury SUV, parked on the side of the road. Leaning up against the passenger side door was the petite yet fierce ivory-skinned beauty that she was so grateful to see.

Reign wore large black sunglasses that covered half of her face and matched a short pleather skirt and black tank top. Her hair was styled into two buns, placed a few inches up from her ears.

"Is this what the humans are wearing now?" Allienna giggled, reaching Reign and giving her the largest hug. Allienna held onto her friend for at least twenty seconds, pulling in the genuine joy that Reign was feeling for her presence. It felt so good. It felt so simple.

"I can't believe this is the first time you have visited me!" Reign's enthusiasm had toned down while some of the energy shifted into Allienna, but her grin never wavered.

"This human world, being around so much life, feels dangerous. Someone, everyone getting too close, brushing their skin against mine . . ." Allienna drifted off, her eyes shifting all around and taking a step further away from the cows.

"Okay, girl, okay," Reign replied. "Let's get you in the car and take off that winter hat. It's over one hundred degrees outside."

The pair got into the vehicle and Reign pulled back on the road while Allienna disrobed her gloves and hat. Beads of sweat lined her neck, reminding her that she hadn't left the snow, the mountain peak, in too long.

Seventy-five minutes later, the car pulled into a parking spot in front of tall, boxy brick buildings with fairly large patios. A large, decorative neon sign hung above, announcing that they were in "Old Town Sacramento Waterfront."

"You live here?" Allienna got out of the car, looking around at the wide paved streets and patriotic American flags that hung from every structure that she could see.

"No," Reign said, closing the car door with a bang and walked towards a parking meter to insert a few quarters. "I thought we'd have some fun, get you out of that temple for real. Hell, get you away from Arryn, even."

The two walked along the streets, going into a shabby tavern that consisted of dirty wooden picnic tables. Vintage photographs of the Sacramento gold rush lined the walls, and a sign welcomed them and instructed them to order at the counter.

"This place has the best burgers and milkshakes," Reign said, pulling on the buns in her hair, making them sit tighter on her head.

"I've never had a burger or milkshake," Allienna admitted, looking up at the counter menu and feeling lost.

"Exactly why you need to get out. The last time you took a break from the center of your life, he forced himself into slavery and then you . . . what were you doing then?" she asked.

"What can I get you ladies?" A youthful man popped over to the counter, tapping a few buttons on the cash register. His eyes widened at Reign, her sex appeal oozing from her every pore. Allienna was a quiet beauty, easily overlooked in comparison.

"Two burgers with curly fries and let's add two strawberry shakes to that," Reign said, pulling out rolled-up cash from her skirt pocket and counting out the bills. The employee handed them a laminated card with a number on it and instructed them to choose a picnic table.

"I remember that time," Allienna said, sitting down across from Reign. "I stayed in the realm, on the other side of the portal."

"You . . . stayed there?" Reign cocked her head. "We are not welcomed, or so I thought."

"Yes, I stretched out my wings and took flight. I found grassy spots to sleep under the stars. I took the time to sort my thoughts, to figure out what I needed. At that time, all I could think about was one thing."

"Having a baby," Reign interrupted.

"Yes." Allienna smiled. "Speaking of that, this seems like a nice place to raise a family. Maybe one day we can leave the temple and join you here."

"Allienna, there's nothing I'd love more. It's a pretty easy life living here with the humans. I mean, they make themselves miserable, but figuring out their system for living is quite basic."

The employee who had taken their order appeared before them with a red tray carrying their food. He set it down on the table and raised his eyebrows at the conversation that he walked into.

"Are you guys college students? I took philosophy at the community college if you want some more thoughts on what it could mean, all of us living this human experience."

Reign stood up, picked up her milkshake, and took a large gulp, closing her eyes momentarily from the silky sugary feeling settling on her tongue .

"You will go away and not talk to us again," she instructed the boy before turning away from him and sitting back down to grab her burger. After demolishing her food in a few bites, she looked up at Allienna, who poked the food in front of her a few times.

"Eat," Reign commanded as Allienna jerked to attention and used both hands to pick up her burger.

Once the food was gone and both girls heard the empty bubbling air that came up through their straws, Allienna stretched out her arms and yawned deeply. The journey there had worn on her. Reign cleaned up their table as a response, with plans to put her best friend in a comfortable bed.

"Do you ever think about your relationship with Arryn? How the three of us were always so particularly close?" Allienna asked.

"Not really. What do you mean?"

"Sometimes I wonder why Arryn chose to love me over you. I always thought you two were closer than he and I were."

"I think that's simple," Reign responded, not meeting Allienna's eyes. "True love can be platonic, too. I doubt either of us have considered a romantic relationship with one another before. It would seem like dating a brother at this point."

"Reign," Allienna said after a contemplative pause while staring down at her own hands. "I've come here to show you something."

Allienna grabbed a fork from the many that sat in a large mason jar in the middle of the table. Reign barely looked up towards her before Allienna stabbed the dull metal into her palm.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Reign asked in a hushed voice, her attention fully caught. She grabbed Allienna's hand to stop her from twisting the fork into her skin further.

"No, no, please, watch," Allienna said as she continued, suppressing Reign's feelings of annoyance, until she finally broke skin and found blood.

"Look at this," she said, holding her hand out to Reign as a fat bead of red blood slowly pooled onto her skin. Allienna tried to decipher the emotion in Reign's eyes as she stared down at her hand for what felt like an eternity .

Finally, Reign broke her silence. "Let's go."

Reign grabbed Allienna by the wrist and practically dragged her from the table despite Allienna's feet obeying the command. Reign's forearm was tense, the veins nearly popping above her skin as the woman reached the car.

Reign started the engine and pulled out of their parking spot, beginning to drive, still in silence. Her fingernails tapped rhythmically on the steering wheel as she stared straight ahead, eyes too focused on the road.

"What does that mean?" she asked after four minutes on the road. "What does the red blood mean?"

"I don't fully know," Allienna responded, shame and hope both tangled in her throat, battling one another for dominance. "Something happened. No one else knows." Allienna began to explain the deal she had made with Ayurveda.

Reign pulled over on the side of a residential street of characterless townhomes, unresponsive to the story. Allienna couldn't tell if she was angry, sad, scared, or something else entirely. She reached out her hand to touch her friend's shoulder, wanting to replace her own anxiety by finding out, but Reign pulled back.

"Home sweet home," Reign said, guiding Allienna out of the car and up to the front townhome on their immediate right. They entered through a bright red door to be greeted by stairs that led up to a rectangular floor featuring a small, modern kitchen. On the further side of the room, surrounded by windows, sat a plush, dark green corduroy couch with multiple maple-colored bookshelves framing the walls.

"It's so . . . clean," Allienna tried to think of something to say and failed miserably. Reign, still not making eye contact with her, shook her head as a smile played at the corner of her lip.

"What do you do here? Living amongst the humans? What does your life look like?" Allienna asked Reign, her eyes bright, walking up to the bookshelves and letting her fingers run over the smooth covers.

"Well," Reign chuckled, "it turns out humans love paying me to give them commands. It gives them sexual satisfaction. It's silly but a pretty great living, especially in a capital city filled with politicians."

"You're a . . . prostitute then?"

"Some would say that," Reign replied as she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. "I'm not sure if you betrayed us in some way, Allienna. Making this deal with something so volatile, a goddess that is mother to none of us, seems like a trap. It feels like a mistake."

"We were both given death sentences," Allienna turned to say. "It's hard to admit, but nothing else seems to matter anymore. Only this. Only the new life I get to create and love. Can you imagine having true unconditional love? Would you not risk it all to make your fairytale come true? I thought you, out of anyone, would understand, knowing that you have an expiration date."

Reign smacked her lips and nodded at Allienna, molding the plastic water bottle with her hands as the crackling filled the silence between them.

"I don't know why I am still alive," Reign admitted. "I don't know why Djoser hasn't been ordered to execute me. I told you all of the future and since then, the anticipation, Allienna . . . I want to crawl out of my skin."

Allienna walked into the kitchen and reached out, embracing her friend. Her heart ached, feeling heavy. There was also a sense of doom and worry as she absorbed all that Reign was feeling. There was so much fear.

"I love you, Reign," Allienna said, her arms squeezing tighter, tears flowing freely down her face.

"I know."

Reign pulled away, and the stress behind her eyes lessened from the skin-to-skin contact.

"We both will find death. We, who have shaped this realm since we were created ourselves. We need to live it up while we can." Reign's face broke out into a devilish grin as she pulled Allienna up the stairs to introduce her to her closet.

Sleep be damned.

The two Kinnari women spent the next six days dancing at loud clubs, window shopping while enjoying the city, laughing and making fun of themselves as children. Reign painted Allienna's toenails a bright yellow while Allienna helped Reign avoid the mistake of getting bangs.

When it was time for her to go, Reign drove Allienna back to the cow field that she had landed in.

"You know, there are places in the city, even in my own home, that you can fly out of at night," she teased her dear friend. Allienna stuck her tongue out playfully, her heart fuller and her body filled with her own feelings. She was her own being, even for this short time. She would miss it, yearn for it. Every day she had spent there with Reign had opened her eyes more and more to how much she had given up, sacrificed even, to support Arryn unconditionally.

"I'm scared for you," Reign said, taking Allienna's hands in hers as they stood on the side of the road, letting Allienna feel it.

"We are strong. We both give so much. Maybe we will both make it through. Maybe history has changed since you've revealed it. I made a drastic choice, one that maybe wasn't a part of the future you saw," Allienna said.

"I hope so," Reign responded, hugging her friend, filling herself up with love and admiration so that Allienna could take the feelings with her for her journey home.

Allienna walked a few steps back, smiling before turning around and running while her wings pulsed out of her back and shredded her sweater.

"You can pay me back for that," Reign yelled, amused as Allienna glided off the ground, narrowly missing a few stubborn grazing cows until she got her wings under her and took off into the sky.

Once Allienna landed back on the peak of the mountain, her chest bare and feet buried in two feet of deep, powdery snow, she had no doubt that she was ready. This night would change the course of her life. This night would bring more love and change into this world than she could ever hope to create. She had been counting the days and now it was time.

She opened the latch to the temple to see Arryn opposite the door, waiting for her. His eyes glowed with hunger, scanning over her body, the fire under his veins begging for her touch.

"I missed you," she said and jumped into his arms. His hands stroked her bare back, her wings, and then he placed his lips on hers. He kissed her feverishly, desperately, while burning erupted through her body.

Allienna wrapped her legs around his waist as he walked them both back down the hallway towards the bed. She had every intention of riding him until he ran out of seed.